Tenten joins the Sleepover
Author's notes: All this make-up, hair-styling, and other such will lead to something interesting soon. ;) Neji talks condoms and how to please your man. Yeah, you read that right.
Rated M for sexy times between characters, swearing, and gore.
I don't own the characters but I am taking liberties with them and their universe.
Neji said nothing as Sakura and Tenten entered Sakura's room the next Friday night. The week had been uneventful. Kuma had been upset as she had not quite gained all the weight she needed to have her leg-weights back. Tora was exceptionally happy about working with Sakura and Akino wouldn't admit it but Neji could tell he had fun working with Guy-sensei.
Kankuro had sent an order for a single pansy, again meaning loving thoughts. Neji had gotten Ino to send Kankuro a sprig of heather (admiration) and she had grinned at him. Neji was waiting on the reply though was a little embarrassed Ino had given him her old Language of Flowers book yesterday.
"So, how are we working this exactly?" Tenten asked.
Neji raised an eyebrow at her. She wore white shorts and a burgundy tee shirt. Her long hair was in a simply low pony tail. Sakura was in red shorts and a pink shirt. Neji was again in all black, sitting on his sleeping bag and holding his teddy bear.
Tenten spotted him holding the bear and turned a light shade of pink before cooing at him. Neji snorted. Sakura settled beside him on the sleeping bag but Neji said nothing. Tenten joined them a moment later as Neji grabbed some of the popcorn out of the bowl. Tonight's flavor of ice cream was Strawberry Vanilla.
"Well, let's look through some magazines to see what we can do," Sakura said.
"Out of ideas all ready?" Neji teased.
They both swatted him but he took it with a chuckle. Neji watched as they lay out in front of him with a stack of magazines. He kept the bear in one hand and picked up a magazine, placing it in front of him so he could thumb through the pages. Neji noted both stopped and gave him amused looks.
"What, am I supposed to sit here staring at a wall?" Neji asked.
Sakura laughed and Tenten rolled her eyes.
"Good point. Tell us if you find anything cute," Tenten said.
Neji smirked and continued thumbing through the magazine. He blinked at the title of one of the articles and started grinning.
"Eight things you didn't know about condoms," Neji said.
Both girls stopped and gaped at him. Neji cleared his throat.
"Number one: only five percent of men around the world wear condoms. I wonder if they take into the account the number of gay men. Anyway, apparently this figure also includes countries that don't have condoms."
Sakura and Tenten kept staring. Neji smirked.
"Number two: there are four different kinds of condoms. Latex obviously and polyurethane. Some are made from polyisoprene if you're lucky enough to be allergic to the first two. And of course the female condom though why they would count it makes no sense if they're talking about what condoms are made of. Oh they do mention lamb intestine ones so there's the fourth."
Tenten and Sakura were going red but their jaws and mouths were still wide and they were frozen in place as if he had trapped them in a jutsu. Neji kept going.
"Three: Condoms basically haven't been redesigned since their conception, ha. Despite all the ridges and other such things the basic design hasn't changed. I'd think not. I mean the shape of the penis doesn't randomly change."
He was forced to stop when Sakura took the magazine from him, rolled it up then smacked him over the head with it. Neji chuckled.
"Jeez," Sakura said.
Neji kept laughing at her as she tossed the magazine out of his reach. Tenten started laughing.
"Like you hadn't read that article," Neji said.
Sakura poked him and he grinned. Tenten's eyes lit up and the evil grin came onto her face. Neji frowned as Tenten showed Sakura a picture in one of the magazines, hiding the page from Neji. Sakura got the same kind of grin on her face and Neji had a bad feeling about this. He sighed as they both shifted to get in behind him.
Neji said nothing as Tenten and Sakura began brushing out his hair, giggling to themselves. He did start snacking on the popcorn as they worked. Neji grabbed another magazine off the pile and flipped to an article about "Tips to Please Your Man." He began reading in amusement then snorted.
"That is complete crap," Neji said.
"Huh?" Tenten asked.
Neji pointed to the article he was reading and heard Sakura groan. Tenten laughed.
"This, 'Let him be in charge.' Saying guys like to feel like they're in control and not giving your opinion on something. Utter crap," Neji said.
Tenten kept laughing. Sakura made an interested sound in her throat.
"Really?" Sakura questioned.
"Really," Neji said. "Why would I not want your opinion on what you want to do or where you want to go? If you are with a considerate man he wants to make sure you go to a place that you like if it's not a surprise or something. Besides, some men like me, Lee, Gaara, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai are so socially inept we wouldn't know what the Hell to do if you gave us all the control. Can you imagine Gaara trying to take a girl on a date and being told "Oh, do whatever." The poor guy would implode."
Silence. Neji half turned to look back and saw both girls looking at him in awe. Tenten started chuckling again and Sakura grinned.
"What?" Neji asked.
"Oh my god, I should've done this with you sooner," Tenten said.
Sakura nodded.
"I know, right? Aw, we love you Neji," Sakura said.
She hugged him from behind and he snorted. Tenten shifted higher on her knees to look over his shoulder.
"What about the first tip on leaving him alone?" Tenten questioned.
"Completely true. Don't you want to be left alone sometimes?" Neji returned.
Tenten nodded as did Sakura. Sakura leaned over his other shoulder. Neji was in every straight man's dream position right now and almost laughed. He managed to keep it back.
"And doing a sexy surprise?" Sakura enquired.
Neji thought about Kankuro randomly wearing a thong under his pants, flushed, and nodded. The girls laughed at him and Neji huffed.
"If you don't do tip four of listening then you've have issues bigger than a magazine can fix," Neji muttered.
The two nodded in agreement.
"Why do they even need to put that in? Shouldn't it be obvious?" Sakura questioned.
"One would think but some people can be fairly oblivious. Take Naruto for example. Everyone in the village knows Hinata-sama has a crush on him but he's completely blind," Neji replied.
Tenten snickered. Sakura snorted and swatted his shoulder.
"What about tip five?" Tenten asked.
Neji read it and rolled his eyes.
"Show him you want him: Don't be overly sexual but stick your hand in his crotch during a movie. Wow," Neji said.
This made both laugh at him again. Neji tossed the magazine back onto the pile and shook his head. The head shake reminded the girls what they were supposed to be doing and they went back to brushing his hair.
"If anyone stuck their hand down my crotch during a movie I would disable half their tenketsu right there," Neji said.
"Even if it was Kankuro?" Sakura enquired.
"Especially if i was Kankuro," Neji replied. "I do not mind holding hands or cuddling in public but that kind of sexual touch is over the line."
Tenten hummed in agreement as Sakura ran the brush through his hair. Neji relaxed as the two began giving him an impromptu scalp message. Neji jolted when one of them ghosted her fingers across the back of his neck.
"Oh I knew that," Tenten said.
Neji tried to pull forward but they tightened their grips and he huffed.
"Aw, really? I was hoping I discovered something no one else did," Sakura said.
She pulled him back by the shoulder and he had no choice but to go unless he wanted his shoulder to break. He not-pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.
"We'd hope Kankuro knows," Tenten said.
They giggled. Neji smirked.
"He knows," Neji said.
This made them laugh harder.
"How did you figure it out?" Sakura questioned Tenten.
Neji knew and flushed at the thought of it. Tenten started talking:
"We were training and it was a hot day out, like, Suna in the middle of summer at noon hot. I think what, last year? Yeah. Neji didn't have a hair tie on him and asked if he could borrow one so he could get his hair off his neck. I said the only way I'd let him borrow it is if I tied it up and of course he relented.
"So I go to pull his hair up, brushed the back of his neck and he did the same thing, jolted and kind of gave this strangled moan. I thought I pulled his hair too hard and asked him so he blushed and shook his head. It took me a bit of threatening with a kunai to get what it meant out of him. Normally that wouldn't work but I did have a good grip on his hair so he relented after remembering how sharp my kunai are. What about you?"
Neji sighed as Sakura laughed. He did note they were doing something to his hair. It didn't bother him so much, not really. He actually liked people playing with his hair so long as they kept scissors and dye away.
"Regular physical. He was in the thong and I moved his hair out of the way to check on the injury he got on that mission a few weeks ago and he jumped. I thought he took a hit or something so pushed the rest of his hair out of the way and began rubbing his neck. Then he got all tense and covered his groin so I figured it out."
Neji huffed as they giggled over their stories. Sakura gave a happy "done" and Neji raised his eyebrows. Tenten came around the front and began playing with his bangs while grinning. Sakura came to help and Neji sat still as Sakura brought out the make-up.
Tenten helped and again he was given lipstick and had blush put on his cheeks. His eyes were done up and Neji waited. When they were done, Tenten sat back with a little pout on her face.
"It's so unfair he looks so pretty all done up," Tenten said.
Sakura nodded in agreement and Neji raised an eyebrow. Sakura showed him the mirror and he blinked. They had put his hair up in a way that it mimicked a bow at the back of his head and placed a pink flower where the "knot" of the bow would be. Again his eyes were lined but there were sparkles over his eyelids this time. His lips were a deeper shade of pink and the blush fanned out a bit more to make him look like he was actually blushing.
"God, I'd look like I was trying too hard doing the same thing," Tenten said.
"I know, right?" Sakura returned.
She was the one to tie a pink ribbon around his neck, this time putting the bow to his left side. Tenten giggled and she took the picture. Neji deadpanned.
"I don't feel so pretty this time," Neji said.
Sakura laughed, falling back and Tenten stared in confusion.
"What?" Tenten asked.
Sakura got a hold of her chuckles and sat up, wiping tears from her eyes.
"The last time I did this he went completely serious then said "I feel pretty, oh so pretty," Sakura replied.
Tenten started laughing and Neji grinned. Tenten got to her feet and Neji watched as she came back with clip on earrings. He snorted when she clipped them over his ears. They were bright pink hearts.
"There, does that help?" Tenten questioned.
Neji pretended to seriously consider. Sakura snickered. Tenten beamed.
"A little," Neji said.
Tenten swatted him and Neji chuckled. Sakura moved her stack of magazines and Neji nibbled on popcorn.
"The funny thing is he'll keep that on till we actually pass out," Sakura said.
"Seriously?" Tenten gaped.
Sakura nodded and Tenten looked at Neji who shrugged. Tenten laughed.
"Aw, you liked being made pretty, don't you?" Tenten asked.
"I am completely fine with being pampered," Neji replied.
Tenten started laughing again. Sakura brought out the nail polish and Tenten grinned as she started painting Neji's nails bright pink. Sakura was painting his other hand a deeper shade of pink and he watched in interest.
"You know what's sad?" Tenten questioned.
"The fact he has softer hands than both of us?" Sakura returned.
Tenten nodded. Neji snorted.
"It's not my fault my Gentle Fist does not require me to physically touch anyone and my method of training does not include using weapons or beating my hands up," Neji said.
Tenten grinned. Sakura looked to the other girl when Tenten poked Neji with her free hand.
"You moisturize though," Tenten said.
Neji flushed when Sakura looked at him. She laughed.
"Really?" Sakura asked.
Tenten nodded. Neji not-pouted and Sakura giggled at him. Tenten rolled her eyes but kept the smile on her face.
"More so in the winter. When we go on away missions that enable us to spend some time in a safe place he brings face cream, night and day, body cream, foot cream, and hand cream in either vanilla or lavender. Plus he has nail files and those file thingies to get rid of dead skin. And I know he does a face mask once a month along with a deep conditioning on his hair," Tenten answered.
Sakura blinked then stared at him. Neji pouted.
"I can't help that I get dry skin," Neji said.
Sakura shook her head with a smirk. They had finished his nails and moved on to doing each other's, Sakura first and getting pink. Tenten would take the darker shade.
"That's why you've never had a zit," Sakura said.
"Not my fault I like to take care of my skin," Neji said.
They both swatted him. Neji whined which made them giggle. He snuggled the bear as he watched them.
"It's good genes too. I don't think I've ever seen a Hyuuga with split ends or bad skin and I've been around a lot of them," Tenten said.
Sakura hummed in agreement. Tenten kept painting.
"Even on missions he makes a point to wash his face every morning and night if we can. He's more of a girl than I am," Tenten said.
Sakura laughed and they both looked at Neji who raised his eyebrows. This made them laugh harder. Sakura frowned once she stopped giggling and Tenten finished painting Sakura's nails. Sakura began on Tenten's.
"So, when did you realize he was gay?" Sakura asked.
Tenten hummed then smirked. Neji chuckled.
"When I asked him if he had a crush on anyone when we were fourteen," Tenten said. "He told me he wasn't interested in anyone and I asked why. Then I started going on about types saying how Ino was probably every guy's type cuz she was blond and blue eyed. He said not his type so I asked his type and he said "tall, dark hair, muscled." When he said muscled I said most girls weren't muscled and he goes "Who said I was talking about girls?" We've always been blunt with each other."
Sakura had paused in painting Tenten's nails and blinked. She shook her head and chuckled. Tenten shrugged.
"There are certain benefits to having teammates who are socially inept," Tenten said.
Sakura groaned and rolled her eyes. Tenten seemed to remember who she was talking to and grinned.
"Trust me I know. I've teamed with Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai. Sai alone is more socially inept than Neji," Sakura said.
They both gave him a curious look when he nodded. Neji rolled his eyes and snacked on some popcorn.
"Apparently Sakura told Sai a Hyuuga had a crush on Naruto," Neji said.
Sakura nodded when Tenten looked to her. Now they looked confused.
"Lee and I were in the hot springs after training one day about a year ago when Naruto and Sai joined us. Naruto sat beside me and Sai decided to position himself between me and Naruto. Naruto being Naruto asked why and Sai looked down at me, said my penis was too big and would rip Naruto in half."
Both gaped. Neji smirked. It was funny now but had been mortifying at the time especially since Neji had developed a kind of crush on Naruto after the chunin exams.
"Naruto asked what that had to do with anything and Sai said a Hyuuga had a crush on him. I could have told him it was Hinata-sama but he started beating Sai up and then we got banned from that hot spring for a month. Somehow Naruto's still oblivious to Hinata-sama. That man needs a second brain."
Silence. Tenten snorted then burst out laughing. Sakura joined in and Neji continued to munch on popcorn while holding his teddy bear.
"Wow, Sai told me it had something to do with Naruto beating him up but didn't understand why then Naruto started hitting him again when Sai tried to explain in detail. Now I know," Sakura said.
"Glad to be of assistance," Neji told her.
She giggled at him. She finished with Tenten's nails and the two looked back at Neji. He blinked. They grinned somewhat evilly and Neji raised an eyebrow at them.
"Want to re-do his hair?" Sakura asked.
Neji tilted his head to a side. Tenten nodded and Neji sighed as they got in behind him again and undid the big bow. Neji said nothing as soon he was being treated to another scalp massage. He yelped when one of them ran her fingers over his neck. Trying to get away was useless as they both had a grip on his hair.
"Lemme go," Neji protested.
Sakura snorted and it was her (at least Neji thought it was Sakura) who began gently caressing his neck. Neji flushed as he began to sweat and cursed his body for reacting to the light touch. He tried to pull away again but winced when his hair was pulled too hard.
"Why me?" Neji questioned in a whine.
They laughed and let him go. Neji fell into his sleeping bag, almost upending the bowl of popcorn then turned and glared at the two. Tenten was immune. Sakura not quite and she flinched.
"Oh relax," Tenten said.
He pouted as she dragged him back into a seated position in front of them and they went back to brushing his hair. Neji said nothing as they began to work on it and half closed his eyes in enjoyment. He felt them separate his hair into two chunks and they began braiding. Neji opened his eyes to watch them tie pink bows into the ends and at the start of the braids. Sakura shifted his bangs to suit the way she wanted and he watched her.
"Aw," Tenten cooed.
Neji snorted and Sakura took the picture. He blinked at the flash and went back to snacking on popcorn. Tenten flopped onto his sleeping bag, lying down on her stomach and bending her knees so she could swing her legs back and forth.
"How's your week been?" Sakura asked as she settled across from Neji in a lotus position.
Neji hummed. Sakura and Tenten waited for his answer. He hugged the bear a bit tighter then placed his head atop its head.
"I miss Kankuro," Neji admitted.
Sakura gave him a smile. Tenten patted his knee. Neji fiddled with the bear's foot.
"I was getting used to seeing him every day even if it meant spending time with him around other people and not privately. He sent me a pansy, loving thoughts, so I sent him back some heather for admiration but that was yesterday and it will take a while for an answer to come back. He would have to write to Ino directly and then she would pick the right flower and it's just annoying she gets to be privy to all this," Neji said.
He scowled. Tenten patted his knee again and Sakura nodded.
"She hasn't said anything though, just that you two are close and cute," Sakura said.
"Yeah, no details or anything. She can be quiet when she realizes how serious things are," Tenten said.
Neji sighed and nodded. He kept playing with the bear's foot.
"Hiashi-sama invited me to play shoji with him and I almost burst into tears seeing the board. Damn Nara," Neji muttered.
Tenten snorted and Sakura smirked. Sakura stood and Neji watched her leave. Tenten hummed and Neji looked to her.
"You know, I never would have made fun of you for wanting to talk to me before," Tenten said.
Now he felt bad. Here he was opening up to Sakura when Tenten and Lee had been his closest friends for much longer.
"I know but this sort of, happened. You and Lee weren't in the village when it started and well, she's known about my sex life in detail long before anyone else because of the physicals. I'm sorry," Neji said.
Tenten smirked then shook her head. Neji waited. God he did not want to lose another friend this year. Tenten shrugged and gave her a smile, the one which told him it was fine. He let out a breath of relief.
"It's okay. I mean there are things I tell Hinata that I don't tell you and I'm sure Lee tells Guy-sensei things he won't tell us. I'm just glad you found someone to share with, I mean, besides Shikamaru," Tenten said.
Neji smirked and patted her hand. She laughed at him and Neji heard Sakura come back into the room with a smile, the ice cream, and three spoons. Tenten giggled as Sakura placed the ice cream tub in the middle of their circle and handed out spoons. Neji dug in and decided the Strawberry Vanilla wasn't that exciting.
"So, did you end up playing shoji with Hiashi?" Sakura asked.
Neji shook his head in the negative as he ate more ice cream.
"No, I made up some excuse about having to be somewhere then hid in the forest for a little while," Neji said.
Tenten laid her free hand on his knee and he smiled at her. Sakura ate some ice cream.
"I think he knew but I don't know. I know he expects me to talk to him but it's difficult," Neji said.
"Yeah I don't see Hiashi sitting around eating ice cream," Tenten said.
Neji chuckled at the mental imagery. Sakura grinned.
"He is trying to help though," Tenten said. "I mean, with the shoji thing. I guess he was maybe thinking you missed it and figured he'd give you a challenge without thinking how much it might hurt to be reminded of Nara."
Neji inclined his head in agreement and ate more ice cream. If he got more strawberries in the spoonful it was better.
"Hanabi-sama tried to take me out shopping," Neji said.
This made the two giggle and Neji smirked.
"Shopping makes girls happy but I don't think it would've worked on you," Sakura said.
Tenten gave Sakura a look which would've make Neji choke on ice cream if the ice cream was more solid and unable to melt.
"Well, he is sitting her in pigtails, make up, pink bows, and earrings," Tenten remarked sarcastically.
Neji snorted. Sakura laughed. Tenten grinned.
"I don't like shopping," Neji said.
They nodded.
"But she is trying. So is Hinata-sama and it is appreciated but I would rather be left alone sometimes. Normally I would tell them but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings especially since they are putting a tremendous effort forth. The whole point of Kankuro going back to Suna and Shikamaru not coming near me was so I could have some space and now I feel more smothered than normal in the compound," Neji said.
Tenten hummed and Sakura snapped her fingers as if she thought of something. Tenten jumped as Sakura giggled then grinned.
"You know, you do have a lot of vacation time saved up," Sakura said. "Why don't you use it? Go to the Hidden in Hot Water Village and enjoy the hot springs. Have some Neji-time, you know?"
Neji blinked. Tenten nodded and sat up. The two began talking about all the springs he could go to and the food he could eat. Neji sighed and they looked to him.
"What about my genin?" Neji asked.
Sakura tapped the spoon against her lips. Tenten furrowed her eyebrows and bit her lip. They both snapped their fingers in unison.
"Take them with you," they said together.
Neji shook his head, sending the tails flying and the girls smirked.
"Kuma alone would want to train the entire time, not that I'm against training. Akino reminds me a lot of Shikamaru and would complain about being pulled away from training with Guy-sensei, and Tora would ask too many questions and be upset she wasn't training with you," Neji said.
Tenten frowned then her eyes lit up. Sakura yelped as Tenten went to her knees and fist pumped towards the air. Neji chuckled. Guy-sensei and Lee had unintentionally rubbed off on Tenten but it was safer not to tell the Weapon's Master.
"That's perfect!" Tenten said.
"Uh?" Sakura offered in confusion.
Neji laughed. Tenten grinned and held her fists in front of her heart, shaking in giggles and joy.
"We tell the three we're going to be training with them all week: me with Kuma, you with Tora, and Akino with Guy-sensei! Not to give Neji a break but to speed up their regime a little bit. Hell, we can tell them Neji has an A-rank mission he has to take in the Hidden in Hot Water Village so they won't be so upset!" Tenten said.
Neji stared at Tenten as she giggled happily. Sakura stared then grinned. Neji shrugged.
"I would not go so far as to tell them I have a mission," Neji said.
He ate more ice cream even though he did not particularly care for the flavour. No point in letting ice cream go to waste.
"They are going to ask where you've gone though," Sakura said.
Neji hummed and shrugged.
"Then they will ask about—" Neji tried.
"Tell them it's classified," Sakura said.
Neji blinked then thought about it. The plan would work. His students would be trained by the people he wanted them trained by and he could get some alone time he desperately wanted. They were on good terms with the Hidden in Hot Water Village and if he wanted he could stay near the border of Konoha and the Hot Water. He could tell his students it was a classified A-rank mission which would detour any questions.
"What about Tsunade-sama?" Neji questioned.
Sakura grinned. It was her evil grin and Neji was glad it was not directed at him.
"She owes me," Sakura answered.
Neji stared. Tenten chuckled. This would work. Neji nodded and the girls high-fived each other before holding up their hands for him. Neji grinned and copied the motion. He did deserve a vacation after all this time.
Reviews welcome, next chapter coming soon and will be about Neji's vacation.