Chapter 27: The star that led me to her

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So sorry guys, for letting you wait so long. I hope the sweetness and feels in this chapter make up for it. Be aware that it switches between "bright summer's day" and "coldest winter night" quite quickly. One moment a mention can make your heart swell and in the next it makes you remember something horrible and you fall into a hole. And vice versa. That is what James and Nat go through in here. They walk on the fine line and they know it. Tread carefully…

Also a thanks to my Natasha and Bucky for giving me the motivation to write and to the reviewers who make this all worthwhile. And thanks Nat for the beta ^^

Dectie sent me the corrected Russian translation today for the last and for this chapter so I could update them. thx my friend ^^

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They held each other for a little while longer, not wanting to let go. The time seemed to stretch into an eternity of comfort and bliss yet in the end the icy grip of winter soon spread, sending chills into their bodies. He noticed Natasha starting to shiver and gave her one last kiss before retreating. "We should go inside."

The Black Widow nodded and waited until he had opened the big, wooden door for her. "You think you're up for it?" After her teasing question she felt his fingers slipping in between hers once more, seeking her strength.

Bucky felt his confidence dwindling with each step they took toward the house. "Anything I should know?" he asked as they walked onto the veranda.

"Oh come on. It'll be fine."

"Talia…" he looked at her pleadingly.

She gave him a quick kiss. "We are having mashed potatoes and roast beef for dinner."

James wanted to voice his annoyance about her answers just as she opened the door. Instantly his training kicked in. Foreign territory, so many unknowns,... the Soldier braced himself. It was alright. Everything would be fine.

"Alexei, guess who pays us a visit." Natasha said with a wide smile as she guided Barnes into the house. With a quick glance at Clint she assured herself that they would be fine with it.

Well, they were more than just fine, grinning knowingly and Clint also gave her the thumbs up before Laura shushed him.

"Mister Barnes, I am happy to finally meet you." Laura outstretched her hand in a friendly manner, not an ounce of fear in her.

James shook her hand and greeted her formally before adding: "Please, call me Bucky." He looked at Natasha for help.

Now it was time to drop the bomb. "That's Laura, Clint's wife." She watched his eyes widening at that revelation. "And there's the rest of the family. Cooper, Lila and the newborn Nathaniel sleeping in the other room until he needs a diaper change."

Bucky stared at the siblings peeking around the corner and couldn't believe it. Who would have thought that the archer could settle down? He looked at Natasha for a second, watching a lovely smile bloom on her face. She was thinking about it too. A calm country life far away from all the destruction and grief. Nothing the two assassins would ever be satisfied with but it was a nice thought nonetheless.

James was wary at first when the kids moved closer. In their steps he saw childish innocence and curiosity and not the fear of an unknown, intimidating stranger.

"Wow, that arm is so cool!" Cooper said in amazement as he pushed his sister aside and ran towards the Soldier.

At first Bucky had thought the boy was mocking him but when he saw that the child's sister also stared in awe he froze in confusion as the kids rained questions down on him.

"Is this steel? Or that stuff from Captain America's shield?"

"How can you move it? Can you feel anything with it?"

James sucked in a breath when the boy boldly touched his arm to check out the material. He could see Clint and Laura stiffening as well. The kids didn't know what their parents understood. The arm, no, the entire man, was a weapon capable of destruction.

Natasha saw how her lover had to struggle and decided to help by moving closer to him and holding his hand, but before she could voice anything to calm the kids, and him, down, Alexei spoke up.

The boy had sneaked in between the two other children, knowing his father needed a comforting assurance of the familiar among the new faces he saw right now. He even took his father's metal hand in his own to ground him with a strong grip that showed the boy's genetical superiority compared to the normal children around him. "It's a titanium-based alloy with maybe a few traces of vibranium." He explained as he guided the hand to be in better view for the other kids while also ruling over the situation, showing his father that he had everything under control.

James released a shaky breath as he met his son's knowing eyes, eyes that couldn't belong to a child his age. He did see so much of Natasha in him, in the way he led him along the path of redemption back to normality just like the Black Widow had been for the few months since the birth of their child.

"How strong is that arm?" The little girl asked in awe as her fingers gently traced the plates.

The movement was so careful, so tender but not because of fear, no. It was more like she had her hands on a rare crystal artwork that she wanted to show her adoration for without accidentally breaking it. In that second the Soldier felt a warm sensation spreading inside of him. He felt… safe and accepted.

"Very strong," Alexei explained as looked at his father with a smile. His fingers guided the girls hands around the wrist. "Hang on to him and he'll show you."

Bucky was taken aback for a moment. But then he realized that he had done this before. Showing off his strength by lifting someone into the air easily. This was something you didn't need special strength for when it came to someone as small as a child. And it wouldn't lead to any injury on the kids' side. The Soldier could have crushed a table to demonstrate his powerful tool, but this… this was a much better way. And the charming, young gentleman inside him rejoiced at this opportunity.

The girl squealed in delight as she was lifted up easily, the girl hanging on to the arm like a monkey. "Yeah!" Dangling her feet she exclaimed her joy.

James raised her so their eyes met on the same level and he could see the pure astonishment radiating from her. He arched an eyebrow cockily, in the way he would to make girls swoon over him.

The girl suddenly had a dreamy look on her face and then turned to Natasha. "You're so lucky you have such a great boyfriend."

Natasha stifled a laugh and leaned in closer to James. "Yes, but remember, he's mine."

"Okay." Lilly shrugged as her gaze went down to Alexei who had his turn of halting his breath and fighting a blush.

Natasha smiled. The boy had so much from his father. Always giving his best and trying to help. Of course Steve had been a strong influence there but James and Alexei had their own way of showing this kindness. Hell, once the boy was in his adolescent years she would have a lot to do. But at least she could be sure that her son wouldn't make a reckless mistake.

"I want too!" Cooper became impatient and was quickly given an opportunity as well when Barnes lowered his arm enough to make him grasp the elbow.

"Alexei?" James asked his son to join in.

The boy gave a chuckle and shook his head at this childishness but hung on to him as well. He was a kid after all, he had every right to participate in these weird actions. He took hold of his father's opened hand and tried not to bump into Lilly too much who had started to giggle.

"And up you go." James announced as he lifted all of them, the movement so easy as if they weighed not more than a feather. Lila squealed in delight once more while Cooper gaped in awe. Alexei however was silent, watching, analyzing and maybe wondering if one day he would be as strong as his father.

Laura applauded with a cheer and nudged her husband. "See, that's a man."

"Hey!" Clint gaped in mock bafflement. At least that had gone better than expected. He gave Barnes a quick nod before venturing to the dinner table once more. "Come on, everyone, food's getting cold."

Natasha felt her heart swelling as she watched James interacting with the children in such a fatherly manner. How natural and open the children behaved around him. They were used to the extraordinary by now and their parents didn't withhold any information concerning the Avengers. His first instincts had been to stay away, to block them out in fear of accidentally hurting them. But now… only a few moments later… "How strong you are, Soldier." she murmured with her bedroom voice as he lowered the kids back down.

Her tone went straight to his groin and he was glad that the kids had already run to the table. He turned her to face him, crushing her against his muscular frame, showing her exactly what her words had evoked in his nether regions. His arm caressed her back before gently cupping her chin, his thumb running over her lower lip. "I'm gonna show you how…"

There was a cough from Laura still waiting to join the others at the table who were now also watching them closely.

With a blush they parted, hearing Mrs Barton's hushed voice saying something about the son acting more like an adult than the parents.

Lilly wasn't fazed by any of that. She dove right into the next question. "Don't you get pinched between the metal plates when you hug?"

"No, he's very careful with it." Natasha answered as she pulled him along, knowing exactly that James himself found it very hard to believe her statement given how many throats this metal hand had crushed already. Yet replaying the last minutes she might have a point. Absentmindedly he lifted the arm, mustering it.

Clint leaned in closer to Natasha as she passed him and whispered: "Do I need a decontamination team in the barn?"

The Black Widow shared a look with James as she sat down. "I think a hand brush should suffice." When she saw her lover blushing she took it one step further. "I was able to keep it all contained." She bit her nail before making a tiny licking motion along her fingertip that made the Soldier stiffen in more ways than one.

"Good for him." Clint replied casually as if the mention of a blowjob was the most normal thing in the world. Then he leaned over to Barnes and gave him a slap on the shoulder. "You really hit the jackpot with her."

Cooper wanted his turn in Q&A as well. "Why do you have a star painted on it?"

Okay, this one would be tricky… He didn't want to share too much of his history in Russia considering what he had done during that time. "Well, it's a symbol that…"

Natasha next to him wasn't much help either, biting on her lip, thinking about the right words that wouldn't ruin her son's image of his father.

The kids waited to hear the rest for a few seconds and when it was clear that it wouldn't come Alexei mumbled something about the Soviet Union.

How in hell did the boy know so much? Well, considering he had Jarvis on his side and the whole internet to browse through there was a big chance he might have researched his parents, but… did he really? They had promised to tell him more about it once he'd gotten older. And he had succumbed to his parents' wish.

James shook off his confusion and finally came up with an answer. "I like to see it as a reminder."

The girl's face lit up, waiting for the big secret. "Of what?"

The Soldier took Natasha's hand in his, looking at her lovingly. "The star that led me to her." Oh, how true this was. And cheesy...

Natasha smiled and felt her heart bursting with love as she heard him say this. Did he even know how much this meant to her? All of this? Their life, their love, their family?

"So you met back when you were still in Russia?" Lilly asked with interest. "I thought he was from where Captain America is from. Did you teach him Russian when he was there with you?" The girl wanted to know from Natasha.

Well, how to explain that? James had no clue. Between his last mission with Steve and his final escape from HYDRA he only remembered a few glimpses from his time with Natasha.

The Black Widow knew was had issues to formulate something logical both in speech and in his own mind and memory, so she stepped in. "James was my trainer during that time."

"If you were already in love why didn't you stay together?" The girl asked curiously and with that belief in fairy tales shining from her eyes. "True love can't be torn apart."

"It wasn't that easy, sweety. Russia was having a hard time then and we all had to sacrifice things we held dear." That was such an understatement...

Angry eyes found Barnes and stared at him in disbelief. "Then why didn't he bring you back to America?"

~.~

The door opened and James walked in, a load of firewood in his arms. He barely set them down before scolding her. "Тебе следует поспать. Ну же. (You shouldn't be up. Come on.)" He gently put his arms around her, guiding her shivering form into one of the chairs. "Побереги силы. (Save your strength.)"

"Мы скоро переселимся, да? (We will move on soon, won't we?)"

"Придётся. На последней проверке периметра я поймал зашифрованный сигнал. Они приближаются. (We have to. On my last perimeter check I caught a scrambled signal. They are getting closer.)"

She didn't respond but her face fell in despair.

He knew what she was thinking. "Да. Нужно найти более постоянное решение, до того как... (Yes. We need to find a more permanent solution before…)"

~.~

"James?" Natasha asked with a frown. He must be having a flashback again, not even noticing the girl waiting for her answer.

"We... we tried." He blurted out and got a confused look from his lover. She didn't seem to remember. Maybe he had gotten his memories mixed up again? "I mean, of course we thought about trying but fate wasn't that kind."

"That is sad…" The girl concluded.

Natasha saw how the child's mood changed and tried to avert a tearful disaster. "It wasn't our time yet. But now we found each other again and can start the life we dreamed of."

"I don't understand. You are the Black Widow. You are amazing. And if he trained you," she pointed at James, "he must be awesome too. What did he train you in? Spy stuff?"

"That and more," Natasha admitted with a smile and watched James remembering something delightful as well.

"What exactly?" Now the girl's interest was sparked.

"Oh… well." The Black Widow knew that Lila had seen her in the news, but the mother had wanted to keep Alexei away from his parents' job as long as possible until he was old enough to understand.

"Acrobatics," Clint offered with a wide grin that earned him a blush from James and a pinch from Laura.

Natasha locked eyes with her lover and mouthed with a sultry smile. "Bedroom acrobatics."

His face got even more crimson. That meant revenge. And he would retaliate against Barton by keeping his kids up with all the acrobatics they would do tonight.

"Like dancing?" The girl asked with dreamy eyes. "Oh, did he teach you ballet as well? Can men even do that?" She mustered Barnes. "He is way too bulky for that."

Natasha has to keep herself from laughing out loud. Christ, this was hilarious. "He did dance with me on occasion." There had been missions in which they had to pose as a couple on a gala.

"Wow!" She turned to Barnes fully. "Can you teach me dancing too?"

The words were so innocent, so sweet and childish. Young and pure, like Natalia had been when he…

~.~

As the Soldat watched the girls training for combat he realized how young they all still were. And he spent every night with the youngest and most promising of them all…

The trainer next to him shouted something, ordering them to switch partners. Then the man turned towards the asset with a wide grin. "Ну, и чему ты её научил? Ты один из тех, кому разрешено трахать девочек, так? (So, what do you teach her? You are one of those who are allowed to fuck the girls, right?)"

"Такова моя миссия. (That is my mission.)" He answered plainly.

"Ты счастливчик. Мы можем играть только с теми, кто не может пережить процесс. Итак, расскажи. Она так же идеальна в постели как на мате? (You're lucky. We only get to play with those who don't survive the process. So, do tell. Is she as perfect in bed as she is on the mat?)"

~.~

James wanted to throw up. The memory made anger boil inside of him. Bastard. He wanted to rip off that scumbag's cock for his words. It took him a few seconds until he could tell past from reality once again. He had to push the thought aside for now. This wasn't the Red Room. These children would never have to grow up like Natasha did. And he would do everything to protect their innocence. He averted his eyes from the scene when he saw the shape of the star on his shoulder once more. Yes, the star that guided him, Natalia. He might not be able to change the past but he would be damned if he didn't fight for a future of happiness and love.

"I believe after all those years his skills have…" she waited until Bucky had turned to her, his eyes still glazed over but a spark of recognition in them again.

James took a deep, shaky breath before using one of the words that had enslaved him. "Rusted?"

God, how much she loved this man. He was so much stronger than he even realized. They would get over this, over their dark past. "Yes."

"A very special dance that you do in private with nobody else watching." Laura reminded them and leaned in closer to Natasha to whisper in her ear. "Just make sure you don't wake the kids or you two will be the one to tell them about birds and bees."

Clint seemed to remember something and quickly went to another room to collect it. He handed Natasha a sleek black box that looked like a speaker. "I took this from SHIELD the other day. It cancels most of the sound by catching it with a mic, calculating the exact opposite and playing those sound waves. Should work enough to muffle you two at least."

Natasha raised a brow. "I wonder why you have that…"

"Not what you think!" Clint held up his hands in defense. "Laura asked for it so she could have her hormonal rages during the pregnancy without irritating the kids."

"I should report you to Fury for stealing equipment." Natasha threatened mockingly.

"Borrowing. And no you won't."

As if on cue Nathaniel announced his need for attention in the other room. Laura sighed and got up. "Okay, that's a call for the overall package of food and changing." She was just glad the boy had been calm during dinner.

Clint gave her a gentle kiss. "I'll take care of the kitchen. Don't you worry."

She mustered him with furrowed brows. "Yeah, well, at least Nat is around so you don't decide to stop in between to rebuild the kitchen to fit the cupboards to the plates they have to hold."

Half an hour later the dishes were done and the kids were tucked away in their beds. Once she had finished nursing the baby and joined the others just standing around in the kitchen with meager small talk Laura had thought about opening a bottle of wine for the guests to let the evening end with a relaxed little chat in the living room but when she saw how nervous Barnes became with every passing minute she had decided that the two lovers had waited long enough.

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As a little extra for my faithful readers here's a glimpse into the next chapter:

Natasha stretched out on the bed, trying to catch her breath. "Wow."

"That was…"

"... so overdue." Natasha said with a chuckle.

"I was hoping you'd finish with 'amazing'." He murmured in disapproval.

"Well, that goes without saying." She said and snuggled closer. "Never letting you out of this bed." Somewhere in her memory she heard her younger self say: 'The Soviet Union needs to find a new poster boy.'

"I like that idea."

Thanks for reading and please review and share the story.