Chapter 4-A time for all things.

Alina

I couldn't sleep the Darkling's words spun around and around in my head. I always knew I had been selfish to spare Mal's life. That at that pivotal moment I could not have been any further from a saint if I had tried. So many had died to give me the chance to destroy the Darkling and to tear down the Shadow Fold and I had failed, I had crumbled. Despise your heart, I had told myself over and over and yet when it came to it, I could not.

I knew that what the Darkling had said was in many ways only things he had told me before; I remembered it all; 'I've given you power beyond your dreams and you can't wait to run off and play house for your tracker.' He had once told me. I knew it was true and at the time it had not seemed like a crime- so why did it seem so now? How had the Darkling made me feel like my choices had been some dereliction of duty? That I had left both him and Ravka to suffer. Why was it that now I felt guilty?

I huffed and turned over in my bed yet again reminding myself most sternly that the Darkling was a master manipulator. Yet, no matter how many times I reminded myself of this, I could not shake the thought that somehow I had failed him. 'You might make me a better man,' he had told me once, could I have? Would I have? Was that how I failed because I left him alone? I asked myself as I lay there in the all-encompassing darkness.

I had come to love the darkness, Mal had hated that I did, he had known that it was a remnant of the Darkling's power and that it tethered me to the raven haired man. Sometimes if Mal caught me staring blankly into the night he would ask; 'What is it Alina do you see him?' I would see the terror behind his eyes that the Darkling might come to me in a vision, much as had happened before.

I knew that link remained, that I would never be free of it, but I kept faith with my husband and never pulled on that tether. I knew that for Mal this must have been torture to know that there was a part of me I could never give him. Slivers of tears came to my eyes; I still missed him so much. Then unbidden another 'truth' the Darkling had told me came to mind; 'he will never understand you,' I knew the Darkling had been right, the darkness was a part of me Mal had never understood.

Aleksander

I wondered why I thought that, even after all this time, anything would have changed. I had offered her a place at my side once before but still she balked at the knowledge that I would have her for my Queen. She still did not understand that there could be no light without darkness, that we were destined to be together. I had been so patient, tried to be a better man, but still I felt that it might be another century or two before she might begin to understand. I wanted to lash out at something in frustration but I knew I must not. If I ever again showed that violence in my character she would never accept me.

My frustration was so palpable I cried out in pain.

"Damn you Alina," I cursed, "I have waited for you so long; how much longer would you have me wait?"

First I had waited, then I had wanted, how long could I go on? Pursuit of power no longer thrilled me I was weary of it but this girl, who could be my balance, she had become an obsession and I would have her.

"But how?" I said aloud. In truth I knew the answer, time and patience, interspersed with a little mercy. Prove to her that I am better man.

Saints preserve me I needed to speak to her again.

Alina

The next morning I reminded myself that I had come here with a purpose a debt to pay and I determined to speak to the Darkling again but I did not need to find him he sought me.

"Alina," he approached me at breakfast, "I would speak with you about Lantsov." I was surprised to say the least. "Will you join me for a walk by the lake?" I nodded my assent, he held out his hand to me and I reached to take it without thought but then I remembered. I dropped my hand I dare not touch him. I thought he might rage, be offended, but a half-smile passed his lips and he said nothing.

It was a beautiful morning and I remembered other walks such as this when I was young, naïve and lonely; walks when a little attention from a raven haired man had me melting in his arms. That girl was long gone I scoffed to myself. I was not so naïve as to succumb to the Darkling's charms anymore.

"It has been a long time since Nikolai Lantsov was cursed." He began, I seethed silently incanting; whose fault is that Aleksander Morosov? As if reading my thought the Darkling continued, "I regret what I did now; it would have been kinder just to have killed him." I looked at him aghast no longer able to hold my tongue.

"It would have been kinder to have done neither, to have served him as your king as you did his father."

The Darkling scoffed.

"He was a reckless boy, a bastard with no true right to the crown…"

"He was a good man," I interrupted, a better man than you, I added silently though I dare not say it.

"He was an ambitious man, Alina and he was my enemy."

"You made him your enemy," I snapped back turning on my heels to walk away but he wouldn't let me go. He caught my wrist as I spun away. I tried desperately to ignore the thrill of his touch as power coursed through my body.

He pulled me towards him, his face inches from my own,

"You made him my enemy," he spat out.

I was so overcome with rage I did not realise what I had done until I felt the tingling sting at my fingertips. I watched as paralysis seemed to take the Darkling and the crimson stain of my hand print bloomed across his face. Neither of us moved, fear spread through my psyche and I held my breath waiting to see what he might do.

Author's note:

So it's snowing today-what better way to spend the day than watching it snow and then sharing my stories with you. Hope you are enjoying this and please review as this is a new venture for me would love to know what you think.