Chapter 5-mortality

Aleksander

I struggled to contain my rage, I could feel the darkness gather around me. I should have expected this I chastised myself. I should have known she would push me to the limits of my restraint. I would not break. I would not allow history to repeat itself I would not be her villain again.

"Never do that again," I told her my voice low with menace.

"I am a Saint I can do what I like," she mocked.

I knew she was deliberately trying my patience.

"Why are you doing this Alina?" I asked more calmly than I felt.

"Doing what?" she snapped.

"Wilfully trying my patience," I explained, "what is it you hope to achieve? Is sainthood not enough? Do you seek martyrdom too? Does it irk you that I showed you mercy?"

She laughed mirthlessly, "Is that what you called it?" she challenged, "Was it mercy to lie awake at night knowing that my friend had become a monster? Was it mercy to live knowing that I would watch my husband fade and die, that he would become dust but still I would have to return to you."

I sighed perhaps at last she began to understand.

"Were you not happy Alina? Did I not warn you of the boy's mortality?" I asked her. She was silent a long while before finally she conceded a single word.

"Yes."

Unsure of her meaning I walked on a few paces hoping to give her time to reflect. Eventually she caught up with me and it was I who broke the silence.

"I will keep my word but I cannot guarantee that Nikolai Lantsov is either alive or sane," I told her, "think on this Alina and if you still wish it…" I trailed off. Alina stood frozen to the spot contemplating me. Had I surprised her? It seemed that I had and as I realised this I allowed myself the smallest sliver of hope as I turned and walked away.

Alina

The Darkling had changed I concluded but then I questioned this conclusion, was it I who had changed? Now that I glimpsed my immortality did I understand him better? I asked myself. I huffed and marched away back towards the Little Palace reminding myself vociferously that the Darkling was a villain. I knew that he had rightly warned me of the consequences of my longevity but he had still tried to control me for his own ends, he had still slaughtered thousands of innocents for political gain. Still his questions came back to me unbidden; 'Is sainthood not enough? Do you seek martyrdom too? Does it irk you that I showed you mercy?' I didn't know the answer, had I expected him to kill me? It was quite clear to me that he had no intensions of doing so. I had wilfully provoked him and he had not harmed so much as a hair on my head. Could a hundred years change a man like that? A man so ancient that mortal life had seemed to mean nothing to him, a man who used others like a pawn in his games? I knew that though he had kept his word and to my surprise had offered me the choice of setting Nikolai free, I dare not trust him however long it had been. I knew it might be another hundred years, longer, before I ever could have faith in him but could Ravka wait that long. I knew he expected me to become his queen but what would he offer me now? Would he truly allow me to destroy the fold, shatter his ultimate weapon or would he seek to use me again? Could I even destroy the Shadow Fold? Was I powerful enough? There was no third amplifier now it had died with Mal. I suddenly realised that The Darkling did not know this he still believed the Firebird was Morozova's third amplifier. What would that mean for me? What would it mean if he knew? I put that thought aside and reminded myself of what I had come for; Nikolai, the Darkling's words came back to me then; 'I cannot guarantee that Nikolai Lantsov is either alive or sane.' If he was not alive then I would have just to accept it, would he have aged in his cursed form before eventually withering and dying like all else I had loved? What of the other possibility that the curse had slowly driven him insane, that he had lost all sense of who or what he was and would be unrecognisable as the man who was my friend. I had to know, tonight I would tell the Darkling of my decision.

Aleksander

I was a fool to agree to this. It could not end well, if Lanstov was not dead he was most likely insane and what would I do with him then? What would she have me do? Then I contemplated some far worse options; what if he were both alive and sane? He was far too great a danger to be allowed to roam free.

"Damn it," I cursed. I would have to hold him a prisoner I could tell her he was dead but then again, I contemplated, if she ever found out I had lied to her…I couldn't lie to her not again so what did I do?

An idea suddenly came to me; I intended her to be my consort, my queen, I would seek her counsel and defy her to make me a villain then!

I was not surprised when Alina confirmed that evening that she wished me to lift the curse.

"I have to know," she told me.

"Then we must make preparations," I told her, "come speak with me in the War Room I would have your counsel." I had to use all my restraint to prevent myself from howling in laughter at the expression that crossed her face. Yes that's right Alina I want your advice, I told her silently fighting hard to hold back the smirk that was desperate to spread across my lips.

Recovering herself she finally replied, "Of courses," I rose to pull back her chair and lead her away.

We entered the room and settled ourselves in two high back chairs that occupied a place by the fire.

"I will lift the curse as you wish," I began, "but we must give some thought to the consequences," I began before calmly laying out the problems before us, "oh course as I mentioned before he may be dead what would he be 122, 124 years?" I asked her.

"I believe so," she confirmed as she realised there was a very real possibility that, like Orestev, Lanstov might also be dead.

"If, however, he is not, there is the very really possibility that he is insane, he may well be a danger to himself and others." I told her

"Then surely we can offer him the best of care, with time he may recover or improve?" she suggested.

"Yes," I agreed readily knowing that his insanity would mean he would require the highest level of security and that this was a solution I could agree to readily.

"But what if he is not insane? What if he is whole and well and as he was when you cursed him?"

This was the question I had not wanted her to ask, I sighed I would have to be honest;

"I cannot allow him to go free Alina, Ravka is at peace he is the acknowledge son of Alexander III his ambition would likely lead to him formulating decent." I expected her to snap at me now to angrily remind me that it was his, Lanstov's, throne I sat upon but she didn't.

"Then what will you do to him, hold prisoner for the rest of his life?" she demanded.

"What would you have me do with him?" I requested, that clearly deflated her temper somewhat.

"Could you make him your heir?" she asked me. I shook my head slowly.

"No," I told her, " aside from the fact that, unless I abacate, I will outlive him, the heir is a dangerous role. All decent gravitates towards the heir and I could not trust him even though he is your friend."

I was surprised that she instinctively grasped this. She remained pensive for a while before she offered her solution.

"He always enjoyed inventing, making things, he was fascinated by the work of the fabricators in the materialki workshops. Perhaps he could live within the Little Palace and work there?" she suggested.

I didn't immediately reply, I didn't really like the idea, there was terrible risk in keeping him alive at all but he would at least be secure.

"With an oprichniki guard for his protection and mine?" I offered.

Alina bit her lip clearly contemplating something else.

"Beyond his rank and status why did you not like him?" she asked without responding to my offer, "Beghra told me you were a brilliant boy, Nikolai was brilliant too, was it that you were too alike?"

"No," I told her simply, I didn't want to discuss this with her. She seemed to sense this but I knew she would not let it go. Eventually she would ask again but not today.

"Alright," she said after another short pause, "he will live at the Little Palace with a guard."

Author's note

Another chapter as promised as it's nice to sit in the warmth and read on a snowy day. (Well it's snowy in my part of the world!)- please review.