Chapter 8-Vulnerable
Alina
He looked so vulnerable; I was reminded suddenly of the little boy who thought he had a friend only to find himself betrayed. I reached out to touch his face, it was instinctive a wish to comfort and I was startled as he subtly leaned into my touch.
"I'm sorry Aleksander," I began feeling him shudder at the sound of his true name. I looked into his eyes they were beautiful but there was no light in them. I realised that he was almost devoid of all hope. A desperate man, a man whose hopelessness was capable of destroying worlds. "You're right I continued," realising suddenly that I wished to be his friend and hoping that if I held out the hand of friendship I might make of him a better man. "WE ARE better than this, may I join you later? We should talk."
I watched a tentative smile alight across his face.
"I would like that," he told me.
Aleksander
She turned and walked away whilst I stood rooted to the spot both relieved and stunned by what had just passed. I was relieved that by showing restraint I had maintained my determination to 'court' Alina. I had acted without violence and I was stunned that despite everything she would now acknowledge herself my friend. I was so thrilled I grinned like an insane fool as I made my way back to my rooms. I still felt the need to know about Alina and Lanstov but I determined just to ask. I would not allow jealousy's sharp claws to get between us.
Alina
"You could still be my Queen," Nikolai joked as we sat quietly in my rooms.
"But you are no longer King," I reminded him with a meek smile.
"Nor will I ever be while the Darkling lives," he responded venomously, a dark shadow passing across his countenance. I realised with apprehension that like me, Nikolai's own brush with darkness had not left him unsullied. There was a rage as the heart of Nikolai Lanstov that had not been there before, an anger, it frightened me.
I kept my promise after dinner I made my way to Aleksander's rooms. Aleksander, I scoffed to myself, when had I ceased to think of him as the Darkling? I supposed the moment he told me his real name. I wondered how few people had ever called him by his true name. If I understood his early life correctly, even his own mother had been forced to call him something other.
"Aleksander," I greeted him delighting in the sound of his name.
"Say it again," he asked me, as he looked up from the book he was reading by the fire.
"Aleksander," I said sweetly.
He sighed, then, as if he had read my thoughts he began;
"Until you came along I had almost forgotten my true name. it is a special part of me Alina, shared only with my true friends."
I had to fight the lump that was forming in my throat, don't be a fool Alina, I told myself, he is drawing you in. He excels at these types of games. The trouble was that some part of me was desperate to believe in him. I knew he was weakening my resolve, that resolve I had fought so hard for to see him for the villain he was. Yet, though I knew what he was doing, I felt powerless. Powerless to stop those glimpses of the lonely, vulnerable man from slowly dissolving the barriers I had so carefully built around my heart. Inexorable, drip by drip, he was wearing away at the walls around my heart, breaking away the ice that protected the still bleeding heart that lay within.
STOP IT! I told myself as I tried to curtail my foolishness, but then he smiled…
Aleksander was Grisha, his life force feed by his almost limitless power. He glowed with the aura of that power, he was divinely beautiful and when he smiled he turned me into a fool. However, it was the sadness that really drew me to him. Like a mother wanting to comfort a child, I was drawn to the Darkling by a need to save him and I had begun by becoming his friend. A small mutinous part of me revolted against being his friend because, a traitorous part of me twisted with desire when he smiled. It told me that it was his love and passion that I wanted not his friendship. I swallowed hard fighting the blush that spread across my skin at the thought of his love. A love that could last eternally. Could you love me Aleksander Morosov? I asked him silently, Would you selflessly offer up your life to save mine? I didn't know but I did know I could not bear to see him die, I would not allow Nikolai to destroy him and that thought scared me.
Aleksander
"Alina," I called her name softly, she seemed to have drifted off into her own world. Snapping out of her reverie she looked up and smiled. She does not need to summon the sun to light a room. I thought to myself, her smile is enough.
"So how is Lanstov?" I enquired; I didn't really wish to talk about my rival but…she didn't immediately reply and I watched as a shadow visibly passed across her face.
"What is it?" I demanded.
She sighed, "he is not …as I remember him."
I furrowed my brow at that,
"What do you mean?"
I watched as she bit down on her lip, clearly unsure if she should tell me.
"There is something other about him, something dark. It wasn't there before and," she paused, "I almost felt afraid."
I looked at her stunned, I more than anyone knew what it was to be consumed by darkness but I was surprised she said she feared him.
"Could it be," she continued, "that the volcra left behind more than his visible scars?"
I didn't admit it but this notion troubled me deeply, Lanstov was already too dangerous, but I said nothing.
"I doubt it," I concluded dismissively, Alina didn't look convinced.
Author's notes
So should Alina trust the Darkling this time? can he be the Better man? Can Nikolai be trusted?
Keep reading to find out and of course-please review.