Chapter 9- Changed

Alina

I watched Nikolai carefully. Outwardly he appeared much as he had once been, happy to tinker in the Fabrique workshops designing his flying machines but there was darkness at the heart of him. He was quick to anger, careless of the feelings of others-Nikolai Lanstov had changed and I suspected it was irrevocably. Most dangerous though was the simmering hatred he had for the Darkling. I could not deny that Alexander deserved it, Nokolai had suffered terrible things under his curse, but Nikolai's hatred was murderous and I feared for both their futures.

"Will you come with me?" he asked me seemly at random one evening as we lounged around in his rooms, his guards apparently out of earshot.

"Where?" I asked him a little confused, "Where are you going?"

"It may be necessary for me to leave here for a while." He told me cautiously. I realised he was sounding me out, that he could not be certain any longer where my loyalties lay.

"You do know that he won't allow that, don't you?" I reminded him, Nikolai knew that he was essentially under house arrest.

"I do not need his permission to move across my kingdom," he spat, his ire clearly rising. I knew this was dangerous talk. Nikolai was not Grisha and I felt the need to protect him from himself. Aleksander had promised to let him live but I knew he only tolerated Nikolai for my sake and if the Prince fermented rebellion against Aleksander, the Darkling's retribution would be swift and definitive.

"Nikolai," I counselled, "have a care, the Darkling is not hated as he once was. You cannot expect Revka to rise up in support of you. This kingdom is peaceful and prosperous, there is little stomach for dissent and," I paused loathed to say it, "the Darkling is no less powerful than he ever was."

"I do not fear him Alina," Nikolai all but snarled, "and I do not need to spill the blood of my people to take back what is mine."

I didn't know what to say, I was horrified, fearful of both of Nikolai's ambition and for his sanity.

"What do you mean?" I asked him cautiously but my question was only met with brooding silence.

We sat there together for minute; feeling increasingly ill at ease, before finally Nikolai broke.

"You have changed." He announced. It felt like a condemnation.

"It has been a hundred years Nikolai and I have more experience with eternity than I once had."

I looked up at him then for I moment I could have sworn he sneered at my but it was so fleeting I could not be sure. I decided I could bear the atmosphere between us no longer and excused myself to bed.

I lay awake in my bed torn between my loyalty to Nikolai and my desire to protect the peace and prosperity of Revka. I could not believe that I would tell the Darkling what I knew. It seemed like the final betrayal of all I had been, of everything I had fought for. Why did you tell me Nikolai? I wondered to myself, why could you not be content to live out your days free of your curse? But I supposed Nikolai was not that man. He had been raised to lead and he burned with the sense of injustice that Aleksander had robbed him of his birth right. I needed time to think for surely if I betrayed what I knew I would condemn my friend. Could I live with that?

Aleksander

Alina seemed restless and Lanstov appeared venomous. Had they had some lovers spat? I considered. Jealousy raged through me again at the thought of her being with him, darkness descended around Lanstov as I struggled to leash my rage.

"Aleksander!" Alina chastised me, using my name, forgetful of where we were.

"Aleksander?" Lanstov questioned, "You know his name?"

Alina blanched and looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry," she said looking contrite.

Lanstov looked at us, his eyes flicking from one to the other; "I see," he spat venomously throwing back his chair and storming away from the table.

She rose to follow him.

"Alina," I warned. I thought to ban her from following but knew I would need to stay my hand.

"There is something I have to tell you, she responded, but there is something I must ask him first." Alina said as she made her way after Lanstov's retreating figure leaving me alone with the darkness.

Alina

"Nikolai," I called after him but he refused to acknowledge me, "Nikolai it is not what you think!"

He rounded on me, sneering, that darkness bleeding from his eyes;

"Is that what you call him as you fall apart in his arms?"

"What?" I replied almost too astonished for coherent thought.

"I've seen how he looks at you, your simpering smiles, and your blushes. No one knows his name, yet you…who wear that," he motioned to the black kefta I wore, "and use his name with such familiarity…who are you Alina?" he begged, "Who have you become?"

I didn't respond, I didn't know what to say, could Nikolai not see I had taken the kefta to free him? My blood began to boil, I would not be made to feel guilty for what I had done;

"I . .friend !" I punctuated each word deliberately.

"The Alina I knew would not cosy up with the Darkling," he told me, "I don't know who you are but you are not my Alina."

My Alina, the words ricocheted around my brain.

"I was never your Alina, I do not belong to you, I do not belong to the Darkling, no one owns me or tells be who should be my friend." I told him with low menace, he merely shock his head as if I was in some way deluded.

"It has been a long time, Nikolai," I told him, "we have all changed, Aleksander has changed, can you not see that?"

"You are deluded if you think he has changed Alina," Nikolai said as if I had somehow disappointed him.

"Can you not trust my judgement?" I all but begged him in what I knew was a last desperate attempt to save my friend and my friendship.

"Don't be naïve Alina, the Darkling cares for no one and nothing but himself, if you think otherwise then you are a fool."

That's not true, I reminded myself, I knew it wasn't true, I reminded myself once more of the lonely little boy who had been betrayed by his friend and I knew I could not betray him even if it cost me Nikolai's friendship.

"He does care," I told him softly.

He merely huffed and stormed away.

Aleksander

I sat in the darkness, not moving, wondering if she would return or if I had lost her again? It seemed like an age before she returned her eyes downcast, her mouth set in a grim line.

"Nikolai cannot be trust. I believe he is planning to overthrow you." She stated simply, yet I knew in that simply statement there was a whole world of emotion. How much had it cost her to tell me that? I wondered, she had returned to me to save Lanstov and now she felt compelled to betray him. I rose from my seat placing my hand upon her shoulder squeezing it gently;

"I know," I told her and then there was silence.

Author's Note

I hope you are still enjoy this- please review would love to hear your thoughts on what has happened so far.