This next one holds a place very closely to my balls.

The fagdraggers; episode one.

the beginning

written by randommaster
(cornwallace had nothing to do with this)

Corey (the epitome of manliness) was walking through the forest one day, pondering his meaningless existence and all of his folleys when suddenly he heard someone crying. Two voices. Both sounding feminine in nature, Corey decides to prove his manliness to the women, and rescue them from whatever ailment they face.

Girls: HELP!

Corey: I'LL SAVE YOU

Corey approaches to find none other than the evil villan WINGLESS RAIN, getting ready to unzip his pants in front of Amy Rose and Miles 'Tails' Prower. . As he fumbles with the button, Corey steps forth to stop it.

Corey: HEY!

WINGLESS RAIN turns, astonished and caught of guard by Corey's pure manliness.

Corey: Why don't you have sex with someone your own size? Hah! Better yet! Why don't you have sex with someone BIGGER!

Suddenly Corey's muscles erupt and bulge out as he grunts and poses as hard as he can.

Corey: SUPER SAIYAN FIVE KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

WINGLESS RAIN laughs in his face, as his muscles buldge and his hair turns gray, becoming a visual representation of badassery in its purest form. After much grunting, flexing, and a tiny bit of oiling Corey is ready to address the evil at its source.

Corey: So, what's up, guy? You ready to do the man-dance?

WINGLESS RAIN: You think that's manly? HAH! Sit back and observe, fool.

WINGLESS RAIN successfully unzips his pants, and before the zipper can get even halfway down, JUNGLE COCK explodes onto the scene. Veiny and massive it shoots out right for Amy Rose, hitting that bitch so hard in the mouth that it takes her head clean off. WINGLESS RAIN lifts his massive manliness and brings it down hard on Tails, splattering him like a pancake filled with red syrup and organs. His intestines shoot out like confetti, spraying shit and blood all over Corey.

WINGLESS RAIN: Are you ready to taste manliness of this magnetude?

Corey: GAH!

Corey's love for dick is completely overwhelmed by fear of this veiny monster jutting from WINGLESS RAIN'S midsection, which causes him to dive about ten feet out of the way of the oncoming JUNGLE COCK. It slams into the ground and forms a crater in the earth. Corey has to magically go SSJ5 just to get away. After some grunting, dashing and flexing, Corey flees to a safe enough distance where he can talk to the audience. (That's YOU, asshole)

SSJ5Corey: Oh Jesus! How do I stop it?!

Jesus flies in.

JESUS: You rang, my boy?

SSJ5Corey: -is amazed-

JESUS: -is badass- I'LL SAVE YOU, COREY!

Jesus suddenly turns SSJ911 and uses his magic powers to assault the evil dickhead WINGLESS RAIN. WINGLESS RAIN swats JESUS away like a pathetic fly, with his massive JUNGLE COCK. JESUS falls to the earth, crippled and beaten in his weakened state, he resorts to his final measure.

JESUS: COCK ABSOLUTUM HOOOOOOOO!

And from the heavens decends a cock too big for even god to handle. JESUS snatches Corey up and covers his eyes, flying him away to safety. No mortal can actually gaze upon cock absolutum, for he or she will immediately meet death, in all of its painful glory. However, it is the most glorius death of all time, ever. WINGLESS RAIN was honored to be murdered in such a manner.

WINGLESS RAIN: It's... so beautifu- AHHHHHHHHH -is crushed by the ever growing cock-

COCK ABSOLUTUM barely brushes against the planet, only to cause immediate global disaster. The planet resembles a crescent moon as the magestic COCK ABSOLUTUM disappears from the story and your mind, with no need for description for how or why. This didn't exist. It was never in your mind (mind(mind(mind(mind(mind(mind(mind(mind(mind(mind(mind(mind(mind(mind(mind(mind(mind) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) )) ) ) ) )) )

Corey: OMG JESUS! I LUVS U! THX 4 SAVING ME!

JESUS: Cut the shit, fag. I saved you for a reason. Your faggotry has gone on long enough, and I for one refuse to tolerate it any longer. You can either join me or die, cocksucker. Will you be the fag to prove to all fags that denouncing faggotry is as easy as accepting Jesus (me) into your heart, or will you die by my gat, like a little bitch?

Corey: I'll join you.

JESUS: Excellent!

Corey: Jesus?

JESUS: Yes, my confused child?

Corey: I love you.

JESUS: I love you, too, son. Let's go drag some faggots together.

Corey: -teary eyed- -crying- Okay. That would be great.

The above story would or could in no possible way be making fun of the forum "THE ANTI-YAOI CRUSADE" helmed by the amazing and not-at-all-homophobic randommaster.

To do something like that would be intensely immoral. I couldn't bring myself to hurt someone's feelings. No, this was making fun of Wingless Rain, because that shithead needs to die and burn in flkaeming hell. mutherfuker.