Balls off chapter three, take five.
And... ACTION!
someone knocks and knocks and knocks and knocks and knocks and knocks and knocks and knocks on the front door, and SONIC, who's currently touching his nonexistent genitals with a very annoyed look on his face, responds the only logical way.
SONIC: GO AWAY I'M JERKING OFF!
?: *moar knocking*
SONIC: *moar fapping*
?: *knock knock knock*
SONIC: *fap fap fap* _;
?: God damn it, Sonic! Stop touching yourself and open the fucking door!
SONIC: FUCK!
SONIC walks over to the front door. Tucking himself away, he looks through the peephole.
SONIC: Aw, fuck. It's Knuckles.
KNUCKLES: Yeah, foo. Knuckles. Open the do'.
SONIC opens the door.
SONIC: Cut the shit, Knuckles. You aren't black.
KNUCKLES: You aren't black.
SONIC: I know. I'm a hedgehog. I never said I was bl-
KNUCKLES: Why are you hedgehogs always trying to bring brother down?
SONIC: Echidnas...?
KNUCKLES: I'm hungry, man.
KNUCKLES walks past SONIC, entering his house without asking. He makes his way over to the kitchen, where he opens the kitchen and spots beer. Opening it, he turns back to see SONIC standing in the doorway and tapping his feet.
KNUCKLES: You don't have shit to eat, man.
SONIC: What are you doing here?
KNUCKLES: Calm down, Urkel.
SONIC: Nobody is going to get that joke. Everybody hates SatAM these days, remember?
KNUCKLES: So, what's on the docket for today?
SONIC: I was going to sit around the house and masturbate to human porn...
KNUCKLES: Boring. We need to have a party.
SONIC: Nooooo. Fuck that. I hate people. In fact, get out of my house.
KNUCKLES: You don't mean that, man.
KNUCKLES finishes his beer and crushes the can. He leaves it on the table.
SONIC: I do. I really do.
*
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WHAT THE FUCK?!
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It was fucking bullshit.
I'm not sure how I end up here.
He always manages to drag me along to the dumbest shit.
Hey, man, he says. Let's go to a party.
Let's go to a bar.
Let's go do some drugs and go to a strip joint.
Who wants to go do something completely pointless and retarded?
How does he end up getting me to go along?
Perhaps I'll never know.
But here I am, beer in hand.
Watching the idiots be idiots.
Watching the fools be fools.
Watching the useless swine I risked life and limb for wallow in their own consistent ignorance.
It's hard to take my eyes off of.
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"Hello."
"Hey."
"I've seen you at one of these before."
"Forgive me for not remembering you."
"No, it's fine. We didn't talk. I just saw you. Do you come to a lot of these parties?"
"No, I'm afraid I don't. I was dragged here by Knuckles."
"Is he the really drunk one? Hitting on everyone?"
"I don't know. Could be. Probably."
"Red echidna."
"Yeah, that's the one."
"He was just hitting on me."
"Great. I'm sorry about that."
"It's not your fault your friend's an idiot."
"He's not my friend."
"Than why are you here with him?"
"I'm not sure."
"You're strange, you know that?"
"I'm.. sorry?"
"No, it's fine. I'm Amy."
"Hello, Amy. Name's Sonic."
"I know."
"You do?"
"You're famous, silly."
"I guess I kind of am."
"Kind of? You were on television last night, trying to sell potato chips."
"Still showing that one, are they?"
"Apparently."
"Well, we do what we have to, to get by."
"Mhmm. You want to go somewhere more private?"
"Like where?"
"I don't know. Your place?"
"That sounds fine. Let's get out of here."
"What about your friend?"
"He's not my friend."
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*It's hard to say where things will go at this point. We slipped out of the party and made our way over to a liquor store. Bought smokes and some high dollar vodka. We made our way back to my place and we had some drinks.*
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it wa to
have s omeone
a r ounnnnnnd
i guess it's not
so bad being a
rrrrrrrrrrround
people...
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*It's hard to say, hard to say how things got this far. One moment we're just talking to each other, I'm just talking to her, and the next minute, the next minute we're fucking, the next minute I'm inside her and I'm fucking inside her, rocking back and forth and I think I drank too much, I'm going to be sick*
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It's coming.
It's coming and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
"Are you okay?"
No!
Try to move, but my body fails me.
Hand clasps over my mouth as it fills with vomit.
Not strong enough.
Puke sprays through my fingers in all directions, even mine.
I'm still inside her, still inside her as I expel fluids from the wrong fucking orifice and she was moaning but now she's screaming, screaming, screaming at me, her high pitched voice tearing apart my ear drums and I'm trying to apologize, I'm trying to say I'm sorry, but it's hard to do with a mouthful of throw-up, but I feel so fucking bad, and she's slapping me and trying to push me off of her when suddenly the door is kicked open
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AHHHHHh HHH HhH HH HHhhH HHh hH hh! ! ! ! ! !
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KNUCKLES: What the fuck, man?!
AMY: EEEEEEK! O_O
SONIC: ...
KNUCKLES: You pulled out on me, man! Pulled out on me!
SONIC: What?!
KNUCKLES: You fucking pulled out on me so you could stick it in some bitch, man!
AMY: YOU GUYS ARE FREAKS! YOU FUCKING FAGS! I'M OUT OF HERE!
*AMY runs off, naked, slamming the door behind her.*
KNUCKLES: I'm out of here, too, man! You pulled out on me, so I'm pulling out on you!
*KNUCKLES opens the door, walks out and slams it behind them.*
SONIC: *sobbing into his puke-covered hands* Balls off... balls way off...