A/N: If you all thought I'd forgotten about this, I've just proven you wrong. I'll say this though, this chapter had me moving at a snail's pace for a long time. I've never written a courtroom scene of any variety before, and this was WAY outside of my comfort zone. I'm so glad I've completed this chapter at last though; thank God for Camp NaNoWriMo! Additionally, if you've read the first chapter of this forever ago, I do recommend going back for a re-read, as well as reading through the recent oneshot I posted, which takes place prior to this fic's events. [I also would love some kudos and reviews on AO3 if you have me added on there, but I'll still take comments on here too.]
Chapter 2: Asphyxiate
"Will the witness please come forward and take the stand?"
Rain lifted her head a fraction, lowering her hands as her heart pounded in her chest. Why did she feel so anxious? Maybe three days hadn't been enough time to prepare. Certainly it hadn't been any time at all to work on processing the events that had occurred in the wake of the battle royale. Everything was happening so fast...too fast. As she approached the witness stand, the air seemed to slowly get sucked out of the courtroom and the walls steadily loomed closer and closer.
Run! her instincts screamed at her. Get out of here, it's not safe! You can't breathe and everyone's watching you! Run, run now!
But of course her feet betrayed her and she moved right to the witness stand, coming to a halt in order to swear an oath. She took deep, steadying breaths as she placed a hand on a worn, leather-bound book and recited an affirmative that she would only speak the truth before those assembled. Aside from the occasional muffled cough, the silence was absolute throughout the room. Even so, the energy and attention of those collected weighed heavily on her as she stepped up into the box and took her seat. She had a brief moment to look around, to take in the scene before her.
All around, colony leaders—both political and military—were sitting up or leaning forward in their seats. Everyone wanted to hear an explanation for what happened. Everyone wanted somewhere to point the finger of blame for the incident with the Dark Gundam. So far Neo-Japan was shaping up to be the scapegoat for that, and for good reason. Rain was just worried that somehow she was going to botch the issue even further. Not too far away she caught Domon's eye as he watched, his expression stony and grim. Around him the Shuffle Alliance, their teams, and Neo-Sweden's representatives watched with varying levels of concern and sympathy. Seated with them and quietly awaiting his own turn on the witness stand was also Doctor Raizo Kasshu. Empathy and regret shown in the older man's eyes as he regarded her. With a surge of gratitude for all of them, Rain inhaled and tried to stay calm as a prosecutor stepped toward her for questioning.
"The witness's name is Rain Mikamura?" he asked, for confirmation more than anything.
"Yes," she answered.
"And you are twenty years of age?"
"Twenty-one, sir," she corrected. She had almost forgotten, but her birthday had come and gone before the tournament was over, and so had Domon's. "I don't know if the file was updated since our participation in the Gundam Fight."
"You participated in the Gundam Fight tournament?" the inquisitor said sharply, and Rain bristled slightly and sat up a bit straighter.
"No," she replied. "I did not personally take part in the fight officially. I was Neo-Japan's mechanic and crew for both Shining Gundam and Burning Gundam."
The man made a small hum and paced a few steps before speaking again. "You were chosen by Major Ulube Ishikawa and your father, the late Dr. Mikamura specifically to be the crew member to Neo-Japan's fighter, Domon Kasshu. Why was that?"
"To tell you the truth, sir, I'm not really sure why," she said, shaking her head. "Even my…" she choked on the word, hesitating at the stabbing pain she felt in her heart. "My father also did not know why Major Ulube Ishikawa ordered him to involve me; he merely speculated the reasoning was due to the fact Domon and I knew one another as children."
The prosecutor twisted where he stood to look around at Domon, whose stony expression didn't shift in the slightest.
"Interesting," he remarked. "And yet you learned of their true intentions concerning the Dark Gundam, did you not?"
Rain tensed. Was he trying to imply she was an accomplice in what had happened? Steeling herself and trying to maintain a neutral expression, she held her head high and answered, "I learned that they had ulterior motives while the Gundam Fight's battle royale was taking place." A few whispers started to buzz around the courtroom and she kept speaking, not about to be silenced. "Neo-Germany's fighter, Schwarz Bru—" she nearly choked again at the thought of another loss, another man who was practically family himself, and shoved aside those memories fiercely, trying not to think of the last several times she had been near him and what had transpired. "Schwarz Bruder, who turned out to be an android clone of Kyoji Kasshu made from DG cells, revealed the original attempt at apprehending the Ultimate Gundam was made by my father and Major Ulube. The story was later doctored and falsified to make it seem as though the military and government had uncovered a plot to subjugate Earth and the colonies using the Dark Gundam. My father confessed the truth to me in light of Schwarz's story, that he and the major had planned to capture and use the damaged Dark Gundam for their own aims. My father felt conviction for his actions, and promised once the tournament was ended he would return to the colony to confess everything, and pay for his crimes accordingly."
The buzz of chatter from those present filled the room, but Rain did her best to ignore the snippets of conversation that reached her ears. She focused all of her attention on the prosecutor, who appeared to be stalled by her answer. Either he had been expecting her to panic or else her straightforward honesty threw him off. The thought did nothing to ease the notion he was trying to suggest she was implicit in the matter. After another moment he cleared his throat, aiming to regain steam.
"Y-yes, well. You eventually found out."
"Correct," Rain answered, not about to let him continue with the implication. "In fact, when the fleet from Neo-Japan readied to return to the colony, I offered to return with them and accept whatever fate might await my father with him."
The chatter grew louder, shock and amazement underlying the voices she heard. The prosecutor's eyes glinted as a loud bashing sound denoted a gavel slamming against its pedestal. At the call for order, the room fell quiet and Rain caught sight of Domon plunking himself back down into a seat with a grouchy expression on his face as he crossed his arms. Instinctively she then glanced to Dr. Kasshu, who gave a near-imperceptible shake of his head at her, his face blank. Did he disapprove of her statement? Ice plunged into her stomach. Had she just made a huge misstep in admitting to her initial desire to share her father's sentence for his crimes?
"Your Honor," the prosecutor said, his gaze continually flicking to Rain and the jury as he addressed the judge. "It sounds to me as though the witness is actually offering to be tried as an accomplice to her father's crimes. Wouldn't this entire tribunal—"
"Objection, Your Honor," the defense attorney cut in sharply, her voice carrying over the buzz of shocked gossip in the courtroom. "Mr. Huang's statement is leading, and attempting to demonize the witness who, I will remind the jury and all assembled, was a victim as well."
"Sustained," the judge said. "Mr. Huang, please try to keep your statements relevant to the case."
"But Your Honor," Huang said smoothly, "this is relevant. Here we have the daughter of one of the—I'll say conveniently deceased—culprits, offering to pay the price for the crimes committed against all nations."
Rain's heart ached and her stomach vanished, even as the attorney spoke up to argue again. She didn't know which hurt worse, the callous devaluing of her father's life and death, or the prosecutor's push to see her sentenced in his place. Not for the first time, she wished she could simply disappear; perhaps agreeing to be a witness had been a worse choice than she initially thought. She tried to reassure herself it would be alright—at least I have Domon here has moral support—but even that thought offered no true comfort as she sought out his face among the crowd and saw him glowering angrily, Chibodee's and George's expressions of concern on either side of him.
"She did not offer to stand trial for everything that occurred since being taken against her will to weaponize the Dark Gundam for Major Ishikawa's purposes," said the defense. "For which Miss Mikamura is also innocent."
The last thought was probably added in for her benefit as much as it was to cut off the prosecutor, but there was no comfort in that either. A deep, black chasm was yawning open beneath her and she was beginning a free-fall into it.
Nothing changed the truth of what had happened: she had been absorbed so deeply into the Dark Gundam that she'd nearly become it. It had fed on every emotion in hear heart and used her, used everything she felt, every secret pain, every selfish and harmful impulse, every ounce of internalized loathing as its own.
Symbiotic, that's what it had been. The thing had fed off of all her pain and in turn, protected her as its core life unit. Horrid, ugly, invasive and violating. Even the thought of the Dark Gundam itself left her feeling sick and tainted all over again, and her skin crawled with the physical memory of its slithering coils possessively seizing her.
Really, no matter what anyone spoke to the contrary, a tiny part of her continued to say in unpleasant, silent whispers "This is your fault. You did this, because you were hurt and deep down, you wanted to make others hurt too. You did this."
Habit made her want to speak up and give voice to those thoughts, however illogical and damning, but her throat closed up and her chest began to tighten. She was starting to struggle with breathing.
"Miss Mikamura?"
She wasn't sure who spoke. She shook her head to clear it, but the end result was worse. Now she felt dizzy in addition to everything else.
"Miss Mikamura, are you feeling alright?"
"Of course she's not alright, look at her!" Domon's shout filled the room as he shot to his feet. "You're overwhelming her!"
A massive stir rose in response and the judge repeatedly slammed down the gavel.
"Order, order! If you cannot restrain yourself, young man, you will be forcibly removed. This is a tribunal. If you have something to say, then you should have been brought on as a witness."
She didn't look to see what the response might be; she was shaking so badly it took all of her strength just to grip the edge of the witness box in an attempt to steady herself. Vaguely she tried recalling what Chibodee and Nastasha had said about civilians in military tribunals, but the words swam incoherently around and around in her head.
"Your Honor, Miss Mikamura seems to be taking ill. Motion to temporarily dismiss her from the witness stand on the grounds she is currently unfit to answer any further questions."
Those weren't her words or those of her friends, but they swam in her head as well, enough that she wasn't sure if they were real or she had imagined them. But then someone stepped up to the stand to lead her out, a firm but gentle grip on the arm ushering her from the room, and she realized she hadn't conjured the words up in her panic as a hope for escape. Murmurs flying around the room fell away, and she didn't register Domon calling her name as she stepped through a side door and entered a back hallway. The stranger escorting her took her past several closed doors before they reached one and she was ushered into a small room with a kitchenette and table surrounded by cushioned chairs.
"Here," the gentleman who'd led her said, coaxing her into one of the chairs. "Try to relax and breathe. Can I get you anything? A glass of water or something to sip?"
"Water would be nice, thank you," she answered, attempting a grateful smile. But she barely looked up before her expression faltered and instead she cast her gaze down once more as she hugged her arms and tried to focus on her breathing. Deep and even breaths, and hopefully she wouldn't be moments away from passing out from hyperventilation.
Think, Rain, she said to herself as she took a few deep, shuddering inhales. You can't get this worked up; you agreed to do this. Calm down. You can't pass out.
The man bustled about in the kitchenette and seconds later he was handing her a bottle of water. She murmured a small thanks and he told her he would be back in a moment with someone to examine her if she wanted him to.
"N-no, thank you. I think I just need some space to breathe," she said.
"Are you certain you don't want someone to look you over?"
She shook her head. "I'll let you know if I change my mind, thank you."
Mercifully he relented and stepped out of the room as Rain opened her water bottle and sipped at it. The silence and comfy atmosphere of this room—an employee break room perhaps?—was a blessed relief to her nerves. She already felt less stifled. For several moment she focused on her breathing, breathing and sipping the water, but anxiety continued to push thoughts into her head.
Surely she hadn't stalled the proceedings, had she? No, no surely not. There was more that had to be gone over. Perhaps they would call upon Dr. Kasshu...but the look he'd given Rain earlier made her stomach abruptly churn.
Was there more to his look than the context of her being a witness in the tribunal? No, there couldn't be, that wouldn't make sense. Then again, she hadn't ever anticipated her own father's loathing of Domon, much less her ties to him.
Those thoughts twisted into two separate, distinct coils of heartache and despair. What would she do if Raizo Kasshu disapproved of her relationship with Domon? Did he disapprove? And her father…
Tears slipped free as her eyes burned and she almost crushed the water bottle in her grip. Three days hadn't been nearly enough time to truly mentally prepare for this tribunal, and it certainly wasn't enough time to mourn her father. Whatever else he had been, whatever else he had done, he was still her father and had been the last remaining member of her family. And now...now, even with Domon in her life, a tiny part of Rain still felt alone and adrift in an ocean without end.
As for Dr. Kasshu, he and her father had been best friends for decades, up until Neikan Mikamura had betrayed Raizo for his own ambitions. Rain's stomach knotted over and in on itself. When he looked at her earlier, had Raizo Kasshu been remembering her father's treachery? Did he secretly fear that she too, might turn against him? And if he did, surely he didn't approve of Domon being in a romantic relationship with her.
Not that Rain found she could blame him if that was the case. He probably couldn't look at her without remembering the last time he had seen her father, moments before being forced to submit to cryostasis. Those same moments where he was betrayed by the military, by her father, and watched as they killed his wife when she tried protecting their elder son. Yes, it was probably those moments he thought of when he looked at Rain now, those awful memories of the last time he saw his beloved Mikino and Kyoji alive.
Kyoji…
Memories flooded her mind's eye. Kyoji, helping her and Domon with their homework when they were children. Kyoji carrying Domon on his shoulders while Rain took pictures of them with the new camera she was so proud of. The devastation on his handsome face when he and his parents explained to her that Domon had decided to stay on Earth after a trip to the Guyana Highlands, to train under the tutelage of the then-mysterious man known only as "Master Asia". Kyoji, sweeping her into a proud, laughing hug when she had been accepted into her first choice university two years early, a hug that left her light-headed with unexpected giddiness. The heart-wrenching, horrific news that Kyoji had allegedly stolen the gundam he'd worked on with his father and planned on using its cells to enslave humanity. Seeing Kyoji in the tunnels of the old subway beneath Shinjuku, both relieved that he was alive and yet dreading that he truly had become a monster. The utter tangle of emotions upon the reveal that Schwarz Bruder was Kyoji, that he'd been looking after them the whole time in secret, the most tragic victim in all of this. Kyoji, pressing soft, tender kisses against her forehead as she drifted in and out of sleep.
Her face flooded with heat. No, that had to have been a dream or a product of an overactive imagination. Her better memories of Kyoji and of Schwarz, and the time she spent with each of them were overlapping and causing her to imagine things that didn't happen. Stress from this whole ordeal was getting to her, that was all.
Although, there had been one confusing if not surreal moment when she had that heart-to-heart with Schwarz, a memory she had buried up until this point…
She was jolted out of her thoughts by the door to the room being thrown open as Domon charged in, Chibodee and George hot on his heels.
"Hey!" someone in the hall yelled. "You can't just—"
"Shut up!" Domon shouted back over his shoulder before dropping into a crouch next to Rain's chair and seizing her hands, water bottle and all. "Rain, are you alright?!"
She faltered for a breath, forcing her thoughts as far away from where they'd been going as she could. "Er, y-yes Domon, I'm starting to feel a little better." She attempted a reassuring smile but it felt brittle on her face. "I just...need a little time to collect myself in a space where I don't feel like I'm suffocating."
"And nobody can fault you for that, mademoiselle," George said quickly, his tone kind and soothing. "The way things were starting to look out there, I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Huang may need to be removed from the case and investigated. He seems a little too eager to want to point the finger of blame on a single person."
"I thought you said they couldn't do that?" Rain asked a little desperately, looking past Domon to Chibodee. "That a citizen technically can't be tried as a guilty party in a military tribunal?"
"Technically no," Chibodee said, his expression turning grim. "It isn't allowed, but I would betcha anything that creep's going to try and find a loophole."
"Oh." Perhaps it had been pointless to hope for a purely optimistic answer. While his concern and suspicions weren't unappreciated, she felt her heart sinking farther and farther.
"Don't worry, Rain," Domon said at once, and she realized some of what she was feeling had to be evident on her face. "We're not gonna let that happen! No matter what, we're not going to let them punish you for what that scum Ulube did!" He released her hands in order to clench his fists and added, "I swear it by the crest on my right hand, if they so much as try, I'm going to punch them all out myself!"
She suppressed a groan; the last thing this situation needed was the Shuffle Alliance's King of Hearts starting a physical altercation with anybody because he was trying to protect her from a believed miscarriage of justice. "Domon, not that I don't love you for being willing to do that for me, but I don't think you're allowed to, much less that you should even entertain the idea."
He frowned at her, but it was Chibodee who spoke up in the lull.
"I...think what he means is that we've got your back, and we're willing to do whatever it takes to help keep ya safe."
"Yes, with that I concur," George added, turning to look at Rain and covering his heart with his right hand as if proclaiming a vow. "No matter what, we're in this with you, miss."
"You betcha," Chibodee said. "You don't gotta go through this by yourself. We're not just your friends, we're all family, so remember you've always got us to fall back on."
A small tremor went through Rain and her throat closed up with the swell of emotion she felt at their support. More tears stung in the corners of her eyes, but she quickly reached up to brush them away, sniffling and taking a few quick breaths in an effort to hold herself together.
"Thank you, all of you," she said. "I can't even begin to tell you what your support means right now." After taking a few more moments to reach a semblance of full composure once again, she asked, "Did Sai Saici and Argo stay in the courtroom?"
"Yes, I believe they wanted to make certain we could be caught up on any developments once we returned," George answered, though his tone sounded hesitant.
"You think you're ready to go back in there, Rain?" Domon asked, his brows knitting together. His expression was difficult to read; he seemed to be working through conflicting emotions she couldn't identify.
"To be honest with you, I'm really not sure," she said softly. "I don't feel like this has been nearly enough time for me to recover enough to go back. I want to be able to breathe again."
She watched his jaw work and his face twist with indecision, like he had more to say but didn't know how to get it out. Finally he sprung to his feet, huffing a sigh and throwing his hands up in exasperation.
"Just forget it!" he snapped, spinning on his heel and marching for the door, leaving her reeling in shock and confusion.
"Hey! Domon!" Chibodee raised his voice, charging right after his friend. George frowned after them both, clicking his tongue in disapproval. Rain thought she heard him mutter "heavy-handed" under his breath before he turned and gave her a sympathetic look.
"I'm sure he didn't mean it the way it sounded, Miss Rain."
Her gaze drifted down to her lap. The water bottle in her hand was slick with condensation and she briefly considered putting it to her forehead out of a desire for comfort and something to soothe. She hadn't expected that reaction from Domon, though she felt stupid for not anticipating it regardless. Hadn't she been traveling with him for over a year now? She should know the ins and outs of his moods, his reactions, his tempter, the way he might respond when under stress. To say nothing of how much he must have been struggling to keep quiet in the courtroom!
But that doesn't mean he can't hurt you, a nasty little voice whispered in her mind, alien yet unsettlingly familiar all at once. Or that he won't. After all, he just did.
They would get through this. They'd already endured worse together. But when all was said and done, they would need to have a serious talk about their relationship and how they communicated.
I can't go back to the way it was before. Not if we're going to be a couple. He needs to understand that. We both do.
"I'm sure you're right, George," she said, exhaling heavily. "I'm sure you're right."
Domon didn't slow his stride even as he heard Chibodee catching up to him, but continued forward with the same intent, restless energy as it boiled inside him. He clenched his fists as his arms swung at his sides, twin pendulums moving in time to his step. It was already hard to keep his cool, and he was itching for something to punch.
"Hey!" Chibodee said again, abruptly at his side and wearing a disapproving scowl that Domon caught in his peripherals. "What the heck was that all about?! Why'd you go and say that to Rain?"
He gave a small snort, deliberately avoiding eye contact. "You wouldn't understand."
"Oh, yeah?" Chibodee swung around so fast, blocking the path ahead that Domon was forced to stop mid-step. "Try me. What's so bad about her needing space from the witness stand that you've gotta—"
"Shut up!" Domon snarled, swinging a fist forward in a shaky punch that his friend caught with a reflexive block. "Just shut up! You don't get it! This is my fault! I'm the reason she agreed to go on the witness stand, I'm the one who pushed her to do this!" He swung his other fist, only for Chibodee to block it with a forearm. "She got overwhelmed, and it's my fault!"
With a patient sigh and a tug on his fist, Chibodee pulled him to the side, near a large window that looked outside. "Awright pal, look," he began. "First of all, you aren't some creep interrogating Rain and makin' a buncha fishy remarks, so that's not even on you. Second, doncha think maybe Rain might've agreed to this for her own reasons?"
Instantly he was mollified, feeling mild embarrassment creeping in. Truthfully he was getting so worked up about, well, everything and in all the stress and tension, he hadn't worked through those thought processes on his own. The tension began to ease out of his body little by little, and he realized how high his shoulders had hiked up only once he lowered them.
"And another thing," Chibodee went on, lowering his voice, "if that's really what was eatin' ya, why didn't you just say that instead?"
"Well, I…" He faltered, looking down at his feet and chewing his lower lip. How was he supposed to really word what he was thinking when there was so much stress stirred up in his head like a tornado? He didn't think that maybe he could express that concern to Rain; what were you supposed to do when you became a couple, especially if you had been just friends with the person your whole life and you were comfortable with that? Even if the idea of admitting such a fear to her outright wasn't daunting in and of itself, what good was it? It wasn't as if he could change anything about the situation they were in with this tribunal.
"Because I can't do anything about this mess," he finally answered, letting out a deep breath and feeling suddenly very tired.
Chibodee's expression softened a bit and he opened his mouth, but never got a chance to voice his response. At that same moment, Domon heard something or someone rushing up behind him and turned just in time to catch a glimpse of a fast-moving blur that grabbed at his cape and skidded to a halt with an urgent "bro!"
"Sai Saici?!"
"Hey, what's goin' on, short stop? Where's the fire?"
"Listen," Sai hissed, glancing between them with an uncharacteristically grave look. "Mister and I were gonna stay in the courtroom, but I saw something odd going on, so I snuck outta my seat to investigate, and bro…I think you'd better see this."
Domon exchanged a quick, worried glance with Chibodee before nodding at their younger friend. Sai gestured for them to follow as he scampered back down the hall, and they took off after him at a brisk pace, propelled forward by the strange sense of urgency his words had instilled. They didn't have to go far before Sai slowed to a stop near the corner of a three-way intersection in the halls.
"Whaddaya think this is about?" Chibodee murmured near Domon.
"No idea," he whispered back before Sai shushed them, pressing a finger to his lips and indicating they needed to look around the corner. Puzzled, the other two complied, trying to stay as cautious and quiet as possible.
What they saw was totally unexpected.
Several paces down the adjacent hall stood Dr. Raizo Kasshu, engaged in a phone call, his face troubled and his voice quiet. Standing with him was a man none of them knew, but had seen sitting among the representatives of Neo-Germany back in the courtroom. He stood rigid in his crisp suit, his posture speaking to a military background, and his eyes never left Raizo Kasshu. The conversation on the phone must have been drawing to a close, because Raizo straightened up and said, just loud enough they were able to catch it, "Don't worry, I'll be there. I promise I'll do whatever I can to help. Yes, of course...trust me, I need no bribing. I'm more invested in this than you know."
With that, he ended the call and handed the phone to the man standing with him. His companion seemed relieved by what he'd heard and smiled faintly.
"Good. You have my thanks, doctor."
"Don't thank me yet," Raizo said. "Save that for later, when we see what comes of this, if anything."
At this, the three edged out of sight to exchange anxious looks. Domon couldn't meet either of his friends' eyes for long though; a cold feeling was working its way up his spine. What exactly was going on?
"We shall send for you soon," they heard the stranger said.
"Not too soon," Raizo said quickly. "Use discretion. Too many people are on edge right now. The last thing we need is anyone interfering."
The conversation must have ended there, for the next thing they heard was the sound of departing footsteps moving further away. Tension laced the abrupt silence, and Domon fidgeted with his gloves, adjusting and re-adjusting them on his hands. Were it anyone else, he likely wouldn't hesitate to immediately go confront them and demand answers regarding what he had witnessed. But this was his father, who'd been trapped in a cryogenic state for over a year while Domon competed for the chance to free him. He hadn't even seen his dad for ten years prior to being approached by Neo-Japan's government, and regardless he barely remembered ever being able to easily communicate with him. The thought of trying to go up to him right now and demand an explanation really shouldn't have been a daunting one, but it was.
"Bro, why do you think your dad was talking to a guy from Neo-Germany?"
Sai Saici's whispered question brought him back to his senses, at least for a second.
"I'm not sure," he replied, keeping so quiet he almost wasn't sure he was actually making sounds at all. "My guess is it has to do with my br—with my brother and, um...Schwarz."
"You sure?" Chibodee asked, leaning in closer to be heard. "That didn't exactly sound like some simple conversation, and we didn't hear them mention anything about him."
Domon hung his head, feeling the weight of everything from the past year up to this moment pulling him down. "No, I'm not sure. But right now, I've got to believe it's something like that. I don't think I can handle much more."
No, that wasn't quite right; he knew he couldn't take much more. He needed to cling to something positive, some shred of hope in all the madness going on.
Sai gave him a look of pure compassion while Chibodee gripped his shoulder in a reassuring squeeze, and Domon felt the wild storm in his mind subside, if only a little.