Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Cream. She was a young whippersnapper rabbit-type thing, who always did the right thing. She was a very proper, lovely young rabbit, and was well known for her politeness.
Her mom was very happy with Cream, because of all that Cream did. Cream got straight A's (in second grade, no less), and washed behind her ears before bed, kept a neat room, and never brought home mudpies.
Well.
At least, her mom was very happy with her until a particular hour, on a particular day. On this particular hour of this particular day, Cream's mother was a little irritated with Cream. Cream had failed to pick up the clothes in her room, and her mother had noticed a week's worth of clothes had piled up in a corner of her room, next to her bed.
Cream's mother sighed at the door, and tapped her foot angrily.
"!" she shrieked. She wanted to be sure that Cream, and all of the neighbors next to their ghetto apartment heard.
A small rustle was heard in the next room.
"Uhhhm, yes, mum?" the young rabbit's timid voice squeaked.
"Get your ass in here."
"Uhhhm, yes mum."
The young rabbit mournfully dragged her foot down the stained hall to her room. She stopped next to her mother's side.
"What the fuck is that, Cream?" She pointed stupidly to the pile of clothes. Cream's glazed eyes followed her finger.
"Uhhhm, clothes, mum."
"I can see that, STUPID." She accidentally spit on Cream's face. Cream barely flinched. She just looked up at her mom dumbly.
"Cream, I'm SO tired of THIS MESS! You knwo how much I hate this kind of MESS." She was very justified in this anger. One time, Cream had left a pair of socks on the edge of her bed, when she was four. "Do you remember how fucking MAD Mommy gets when you do this?"
"Uhhhm, yes mum."
"HOW COME YOU WOULD DO THIS TO ME?" Cream's mother had leaned over, and screamed in her face.
"Uhhhm-"
"YOU KNOW WHAT? AHMA TEACH YOU A LESSON. A FUCKING LESSON. I"LL CLEAN THIS FUCKING MESS FOR YOU, AND THAT'LL MAKE MOMMY MAD. SO VERY FUCKING MAD. THEN YOU'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN, HUH?"
"Uhhhm, no, mum." Cream was squirming by this point, and pulling at her dress uncomfortably.
Cream's eyes widened in fear as her mother stomped into her room, and bent over to pick up a shirt. She walked in quickly behind her mom, and started whimpering sadly.
"NO! Get the fuck back from me. Fucking mess. Jesus Christ. This better NEVER fucking happen again." She threw one of the five shirts at her child. While she was bent over on the floor, Cream's mother happened to look under Cream's bed. Cream's whimpers got much louder, and she bit her lip in fear. Her mother gasped, and gritted her teeth.
"UhhhhHHHM! MUM! MUM! MUUUUUUM" Cream cried out, as her mom reached under the bed.
She pulled out a sock.
Then another.
And another.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" She stuck her head under the bed. "OH MY GOD! THERE MUST BE A YEAR'S WORTH OF SOCKS! YOU TOLD ME ALL OF YOUR OLD SOCKS GOT HOLES!"
Cream burst into tears.
"Uhhhm mum! Mum. I'm sorrryyy." For the first time in her life, Cream spoke more than one sentence at a time. "I just got laaaaaaazy, and didn't waaash them."
"LAZY? LAAAAZY? YOU FUCKING LITTLE-"
"I'll take care of them, jsut leave them there, mum." She eyed her mom nervously as she started to reach for more socks.
Cream's mother was NOT a happy camper.
"LEAVE THEM? OH NO! I'LL SHOW YOU, YOU. YOU!" Cream's mother sputtered from the anger. "YOU LITTLE LAZY BITCH."
So she stuck all of her head under the bed, to grab those socks, much to Cream's horror.
"Oh my HOLY HELL. WHAT- WH- WHAT IS THAT AWFUL SMELL?" Her mother shuddered from the alleged smell.
"Muuuuuuuuum! LEAVE THEM ALONE!" Cream reached down to stop her mother from inspecting the socks, but it was too late.
Poor Cream.
Her mother opened one up.A horrible, repulsive smell greeted Cream's mother, and she dropped the sock in horror. It landed with a quiet thump.
"Cream."
"Uhhhm, yes mum?"
"What the FUCK is in that?"
In order to avoid a nasty confrontation, Cream tried to hastily grab the sock from her mother. It was a silly thing to do, as many otehr smelly socks were sitting right next to her mother. Either way, her mother noticed her actions, and reacted. Her mother angrily grabbed the sock just as Cream did, and squeezed it hard.
Both of them froze, one in shock, and one in terror as dark, rotting shit squirted out onto Cream's mother's hand.
Before her mother could even ask, Cream interjected.
"Mum! I just had to goooo, and you don't let me go to the bathroom, because it dirties the toilet, and, and..."
Her mom was only able to look dumbly at her.
"So...I had all these old socks, and..."
"You mean to tell me." Her mother began. "That you've been shitting in your socks for a year?"
The young rabbit squirmed uncomfortably.
"uhhhm, yes mum..."
At that moment in time, the shock wore off of Cream's mother. She looked at the pile of sock-shits scattered under her bed and now her floor, and became angry. Oh so very, very angry. The kind of uncontrollable angry that makes most peopel do silly things. Like yell at their child.
But right now, she wasn't gonna yell.
She took a sock, and wrapped the neck of it around her hand tightly.
"Uhhm, mum?" Poor Cream.
Cream's mother started swinging the sock.
Cream was very anxious. Very anxious indeed. She was watching her mother's movements very carefully.
"Mummy? Mummmmyyy? What are you d-" But the poor, young rabbit was cut off. Cut off by her mother swinging the sock-shit into her face.
The shit exploded out of the sock, all over the young rabbit's face. It was a messy sight. The poor, young rabbit could only cry in despair, and try to defend herself.
But alas, it woudl not work.
Cream's mother continued to beat her daughter with shit-socks, until enough had exploded to cover her entire body.
"HAH! TAKE THAT, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT." Cream's mother shrieked at her. Poor, little Cream. Cream even tried to escape, and crawl out of the room. but alas, she was only assulted by more socks.
Finally, Cream tried to balance her sobbing body on her desk. Juuust as she was reaching up to steady herself on it, a blow of shit came to the back of her head. Her mom let out a victory screech from the sound as shit smacked against her daughter.
However, the force was too much for the poor, young girl. Her face slammed into the corner of the desk she was trying to climb up.
Her mother only blinked as Cream's broken skull leaked blood, and was now permanently indented. Cream's sobbing turned to bloodcurlding wails, as she turned to her mother. Her face was completely covered in runny shit, from her tears, and it leaked into her broken skull.
Cream's mother twitched, and let out one more screech. A loud one. All of the neighbors heard her.
She brought down the hard sock upon cream's head again, slamming the back of her head against the desk. Cream's wails turned into low groans, as her skull cracked loudly. Cream's mother found the sound ot be very encouraging, and rewarding.
So she continue to beat the poor, young rabbit's skull to death with a sock of shit.
The poor, young rabbit was soon dead, never to be heard form again. Not that she talked enough to be heard in the first place anyway. Cream's mother, with a new found love of beating peopel to deal with socks full of shit, decided to move to Africa, and beat up black people there.
And all the people in Africa were terrified for the rest of Cream's mother's life ever after.
FIN.
Sonic sez! No, says!
Tails flailed his arm around pathetically towards Sonic's Tv. He was holding a Wiimote, and bowling badly on his game. Then Sonic walked into the room.
"Sawwwnik. I can't hit any of the pins." whined Tails, promptly throwing another gutter ball.
Sonic scowled. "It's cause you're dumb, dude." He grabbed the wiimote from Tails. "Here, I'll show you how it's done!"
Tails gasped. "You gotta put on the strap!" He pointed at the strap.
Sonic stared at him.
"Fuck you, man. You baby, you." He stretched his arm back to throw the bowling ball, and scowled more. He extended his arm forcefully, as tails quietly watched.
The Wiimote flew into the Tv, and it exploded loudly.
"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE FUCKER! JUST. JUST SHUT UP." Sonic coughed from the smoke. He waved his hand trying to see through the smoke, but the sprinklers turned on. Tails burst into tears.
"Fucker, you better shut the FUCK u-" SOnic walked threatening towards him, so tails took a step back. Right onto a twitching, water-ruined power cord. tails could only gasp before he started crackling and seizing.
Sonic watched on, still getting covered by the sprinkler, and calmly walked away.
"And that, kids!" Sonic looked over your way, "Is why you always use and tighten the Wiimote strap!
Non Existent For Real - 2011