When Kurt and Blaine got home they found Rachel in the kitchen sampling a cookie from a tray she'd just taken out of the oven

"Hey Rachel!" Blaine greeted brightly.

Rachel smiled uneasily. "Oh, wow I didn't realize you two were going to be home this early," Rachel commented, caught off guard.

"What's all this?" Kurt asked her, cooler.

"I decided to make some treats for the Funny Girl cast to bring to rehearsal later. Want to try some?"

Blaine helped himself to one. "Thanks Rachel, they smell amazing!"

Kurt shook his head, declining. "Didn't you make chocolate muffins for everybody yesterday?" he asked.

Rachel busied herself with cleaning off the counter. "W-ell yeah. Just… in a baking mood I guess." Rachel explained. "You two gonna catch some Netflix or you goin back out?"

"Blaine has homework to do." Kurt supplied before Blaine could respond.

Blaine wrinkled his nose, but took the hint, grabbing his schoolbag from by the bookcase. "Yeah, maybe we'll binge watch something after, we'll see."

Kurt sat down at the kitchen table, shooing his fiancé towards the bedroom. "You should get started, I can test you when you think you've got it down. Rachel and I need to have a chat."

Blaine looked at Kurt quizzically. Rachel turned from the counter.

"We do?" she asked quietly.

"We do." Kurt responded, short. He then gave Blaine a look that sent him backing up. He disappeared behind the curtain in the bedroom without another word.

"S-something up?" Rachel asked.

"You tell me." Kurt countered. "You said you weren't expecting us home so soon?"

"I just assumed after working out you'd be—"

"You didn't think I'd catch you baking cookies. What happened to counting calories for your opening night?"

Rachel flushed. "I—I told you—it's a treat for the people in my show."

"Uh huh. That was the story yesterday."

"Everybody liked it and… we're all working so hard. I'm just being generous."

"I think you're being sneaky."
"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I saw you eat one of those muffins yesterday after you baked them. You're supposed to be dieting."

"Kurt. One muffin isn't going to-"

"And you just had a cookie."

"Th-they're—I mean, it's a vegan recipe Kurt."
"Seriously Rachel? I don't think the lack of eggs has an impact on the amount of sugar young lady."

"You're making a big deal out of—"

"Hey. You're the one who told me to stay on you about your diet." Kurt scolded. "It's your Broadway debut, and you're making up reasons to be off your diet."

"I'm not making up—"

"You want to treat the cast there's a thousand healthy things you could have made. We've been living together over a year, you never bake and here you're suddenly inspired two days in a row? Those things you made yesterday were practically diabetes pills. "

"I can't believe you. Blaine gets Cronuts all the time and you never say anything about it."

"Blaine isn't the issue, Rachel—you're deflecting."

"Well here I am, doing something nice and—"

"How many of those chocolate muffins did you make yesterday?"

Rachel fidgeted, "I don't know, a bunch. There's a lot of people in the show."

"More than you needed?"

"Well I wasn't sure if the stage managers would all want—"

"Was the one you ate here before you left the only one you had?" Kurt pressed.

"Kurt, you're being—"

"Answer the question young lady."

Rachel pouted. "Not exactly," she admitted finally.

"Not exactly?"

Rachel sighed. "I ate one on the subway. And there was some leftover after so I kind of had another coming back from rehearsal."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "So you had three chocolate muffins in one day? It's a wonder you didn't make yourself sick."

"It's not like I ate them all at once—" Rachel defended.

"And now you're pretending to be nice again making up another excuse to eat baked goods you know I'd never allow you to buy."

"It's not pretending—"

"You're hardly Julia Child. You hate cooking because you hate cleaning up after. But you decided you could get around our agreement about nutrition by making "gifts" for others. You're manipulating the rules. And testing to see if I'm paying attention. I am."

Rachel scowled. "What, am I supposed to throw these out now after all that work?" she asked sarcastically.

"No but I'd say you clearly need a good reminder to keep your hands off them on your way to rehearsal." Kurt commented before setting aside the tray of cookies and taking Rachel's arm.

"Ku-urrrt," Rachel whined, not liking where this was going.

"Ra-achel," Kurt mimicked, umimpressed, before firmly pushing her back down so she was half laying across the kitchen table. "At minimum you know you deserve consequences for sneaking sugary foods yesterday and you know it. You chose to be on this diet and asked for discipline when you slip up," he reminded her, flipping her skirt up before pulling her panties sharply to her knees. "You choose to feed your friends all this sugar it's your business but you don't get a medal for using that to blow off expectations," he scolded. " If you're going to be on a subway this afternoon with a carton of cookies I think a warm bottom will be a good distraction from any temptation to be diffing into it yourself," he added, patting the vulnerable bared bottom in question before landing a SMACK that had Rachel's torso stiffen.

"Okayyy I get it," she whined sullenly. "You don't have to—"

SPANK-SLAP. "I decide when you 'got it' young lady" Kurt admonished, holding her in place and monitoring the increasing pink across her fanny. "I'm not playing games here," he warned with another SMACK.

Rachel winced, remembering that Blaine was in the bedroom doing homework, and could obviously hear all of this. Embarrassed, she had to admit that this consequence was making a few nibbles of a cookie seem pretty not worth it.