Hey guys! Here's the newest chapter. This one finally brings Beca and Chloe back together for real interactions. I'm really sorry this took so long to get out. Life just didn't allow for more time writing.
Thanks for the reviews and the kind words. Please review more. They are always appreciated, and help in the process.
Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect or really anything.
CHAPTER 21
***Epiphany***
After insisting she couldn't have another 'celebratory' drink with Fat Amy, Beca had finally managed to hold her boisterous blonde friend to her promise of driving her home. It had taken a decent mix of cajoling, begging and several imaginative threats, but in the end, she had finally succeeded in getting her friend and former roommate moving.
Beca had even convinced the flamboyant Aussie to make a quick stop on the way home. She knew she needed to have more than an apology to make it up to Chloe. She wanted to give Chloe something to help celebrate the launch of her lessons.
Chloe. Just the thought of the tender-hearted, fierce-spirited young redhead is enough to send Beca's heart and mind into a jumble. Things had been spiraling like this, with regards to Chloe for the past couple of weeks, and it was leaving Beca confused.
She takes a quick glance at her phone, and just as on the numerous occasions throughout the day when she had looked prior to this, there are no messages from Chloe.
And that hurts; but she knows it's her own damn fault.
She had made a decision, well a couple of decisions, that were meant to provide clarity for her; were supposed to bring her contentment in knowing she's committed to her long-term relationship. That were to prove she's not her father's daughter. That would prove she had grown beyond the girl who runs when things are tough; but instead sucks it up, and toughs it out. Yet despite this, she couldn't help feeling it was all wrong.
The truly ironic thing is, on the outside, everything seemingly is going her way. Everything she had ever dreamed about career wise, coming to LA, wise, is beginning to fall her way. Yet it all seems to be tainted.
No vibration from her phone, still no messages from Chloe; and the cold pit in her stomach seems that much deeper.
Beca looks out the car window trying to distract herself, just as she had in the morning. While it is no longer raining, the gloom of the cloudy day lingers, and this same feeling seems to have taken up residence in Beca's soul. Despite, by all accounts, having an amazing day, the petite brunette cannot shake the funk she's been in all day, all week.
In fact, it actually seems to be growing as she nears her apartment.
Of course, these dark feelings leave her ill-tempered and with the beginnings of a headache. All she wants during the drive is for some peace and quiet. She desperately wants to find the right state-of-mind to face her best friend and properly apologize. Fat Amy, being Fat Amy, though has kept a running commentary the whole time. The Aussie is speaking but the sound only vaguely registers in DJ's left ear as her focus is only on the redhead hopefully waiting at the apartment.
Fat Amy suddenly stops talking and Beca realizes her friend had asked her a question. "What do you think? Shawshank?" Fat Amy looks over expectantly; when she doesn't get an answer, she taps the brunette on her shoulder.
Beca looks over to the blonde Aussie, "What?"
Fat Amy sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes as she asks, "Were you even listening?"
"Umm yeah… Of course," Beca answers.
"And what was I talking about?
"Huh? What?" Beca rolls her eyes. "Oh, you were talking about your wedding…"
Amy gives her a look, "Lucky guess… So, your answer?"
"Umm yeah…" Beca starts, but Fat Amy gives her a harder look. "Maybe…" Beca tries, but the look remains. "No? Okay, I wasn't listening. You got me," Beca finally admits; deciding it's better to be honest at this moment then try to bluff her way out of it.
Fat Amy sighs again. "What's up with you, half-pint? You keep zoning out on me. I know it can't be me. I'm never that boring."
"I'm sorry Amy, I'm just really out of it," Beca sighs. Glancing at her phone, still no new messages.
"No worries Short stack, I can just say it all over again. I know as my Maid of Honor, you'll want to know this backwards and forward." Fat Amy again falls into a steady stream of constant flow of words.
Beca bites her tongue, deciding it's easier to let Amy carry on and on without interrupting her, than to answer any questions that a snarl or angry outburst, might elicit. It's just easier this way; and it's not like Amy is really looking for any real input from her. The blonde Australian was just making sure Beca was paying attention.
Thinking she has the DJ's undivided attention, the Aussie returns to talking nonstop about her plans for her wedding, her many myriad plans for pre-wedding activities, and what she and Bumper have planned for the show. It all shouldn't annoy Beca so much but it does. Fat Amy is an incessant fount of dubious facts, crazy anecdotes, and obvious boasts; so within seconds Beca isn't paying attention again; though she's doing a better job pretending to be interested. She knows this makes her a shitty friend, but she just can't pay any attention to Fat Amy. Her spirit is way too agitated, as she thinks of Chloe.
Her phone vibrates and Beca quickly looks at the message; deflating as she sees 'Becaaw!', knowing it's from Jesse. Still showing no messages from Chloe. With a sigh of frustration, she doesn't respond to her annoying boyfriend. She has neither the energy nor the inclination.
Beca recognizes this is a dick move towards Jesse, doing exactly what she has been doing to her redheaded friend. Because honestly over the past couple weeks she has made one dick move after another towards Chloe. Often avoiding her friend, staying away from the apartment. Being weird when she is. It seems like at every opportunity she has been a huge jerk to her best friend.
So Beca decides to focus on Chloe.
Beca needs to focus on Chloe, to begin making amends. She knows this to be true.
A quick look back on the past couple weeks, shows her she's been less than supportive of Chloe's music lessons idea, even though the redhead had asked Beca to. This despite her friend asking her to partner with her, and then releasing her from the commitment when her DJ career began to take off.
Beca had shown even less support for Chloe's vision of growing these lessons into classes, and then, someday, opening a music school. Beca closes her eyes as she remembers some not so stellar moments as Chloe outlined her evolving vision. It's possible that some of her comments may have even been taken as throwing shade on Chloe's ideas.
Beca shakes her head at her own stupidity. Chloe has done everything to support her in every way; more than any other person ever has, yet when the opportunity arose, Beca hadn't reciprocated.
She's cognizant of the fact that Chloe is insecure about her future and career ambitions. That the way forward for her has always been less clear to the redhead. Yet when the time came to be supportive, when Chloe starts to find her own path, Beca was too wrapped up in her own issues, to be supportive of her.
In other words, the exact opposite of Chloe Beale.
How could she have been so selfish?
Now she senses she has created a chasm between them. A glance at her phone, still showing no messages from Chloe seems like confirmation.
She really hates how she's acted, and is disappointed in herself for how everything has been playing out. Yet, every time she thinks of picking up her phone, and calling Chloe, she backs out due to overwhelming fear and guilt.
This leaves her so confused, because she's feeling fear and guilt of what? Of Chloe?
As Amy turns onto her block, Beca looks at her iPhone one more time with a frown. It's confirmation things are not right between her and her best friend. She couldn't remember the last time a whole day had gone by without hearing from her favorite redhead. Chloe had never not responded to Beca. The lack of communication with her best friend just adds to her anxiety.
So lost in her thoughts, she's not even sure Amy has come to a full stop, before jumping out of the car, and bidding her Aussie friend farewell. She fast walks her way across the parking lot and into the apartment complex; but as she arrives at the foot of the stairs, Beca starts to slow. Each step up gets harder, and she's only vaguely sure why. Something coils its way coldly in Beca's belly.
Beca realizes it's a churning mixture of guilt, frustration, exhaustion and disappointment. It's making her feel nauseous, and suddenly the prospect of having to face her best friend is becoming quite daunting.
It catches her by surprise. She wasn't expecting this, It's only Chloe, after all; maybe the nicest person on the planet. Yet this only seems to raise the anxiety level for the petite DJ.
Beca closes her eyes and fights back these sudden waves of emotions, but to little effect, as feelings of remorse washes over her.
She knows she's treated Chloe horribly of late, and Chloe took it all because that's what the redhead does. Beca knows that making Chloe feel that she isn't important to her, or a significant part of her life, is without a doubt one of the worst things she's done in their relationship. Especially considering the many sacrifices Chloe has made for Beca.
Upon arriving at the door to the apartment, she freezes.
It shouldn't be this scary.
Beca knows this.
It's Chloe; who is usually as scary as a kitten. And yes, there have been times, where Chloe has been scary, Fat Amy often being the target of the redhead's wrath, but for Beca she's usually just the soft, bubbly best friend. Yet Beca's aware that her last couple of weeks of avoiding the redhead makes her a dick, and not in the normal Beca-is-a-dick, kind of way.
So, she's scared to see Chloe, to see the disappointment. To see she's lost her. That would be the worst thing ever.
The reason being, Beca loves her…
… Kind of.
Because of course Beca loves Chloe, everyone loves the redhead. What is there not to love? She's an amazing woman; loving, kind, caring, sensitive, lovable, generous and so, so much more.
She's everything to Beca….
… You know, in a best friend kind of way.
This has to be the only reason as to why she worries about losing Chlo. Why her heart beats faster when she thinks of her, why she stammers and rambles a little more anytime she's around her of late.
Isn't it?
It's not because she's gorgeous….
… Of course, she's gorgeous….
… Everyone knows she's gorgeous.
What? Has she been living under a rock? Beca has always admitted, if sometimes reluctantly, to the fact that Chloe is undoubtedly super attractive.
Okay maybe she's one of the most beautiful people Beca has ever met; both inside as well as the obvious outer exterior.
It's why Beca loves her….
… As a friend. Jeez! She shakes her head. She hadn't initially realized when the word 'love' started creeping into her thoughts. Her mind had been elsewhere, on work and Emily's album, and the promotion. Yet sometime during the day, the word love, started to creep into her thoughts, and it keeps returning.
She's not sure if it's a bad thing. She's not sure what to make of it at all…. Beca shakes her head, she just doesn't have the words to articulate her emotions.
Suddenly she realizes she's just been standing there for a good couple of minutes. Still it takes more than a few heartbeats before she can work up the final courage to open the door.
Chuckling a little nervously at herself, Beca placed her hand on the doorknob.
When she finally does open the door, Beca steps into the apartment, incredibly wary. Not because she's scared of what the redhead might do, but because she's still not sure of what she plans to say. And maybe she doesn't want to see any disappointment in the redhead's cerulean blue eyes.
Maybe that's the scariest thing of all.
She opens the door to the apartment slowly, with the thought that maybe she won't be noticed and can make it to her room without being noticed. She figures it wouldn't really hurt to postpone this discussion.
It's later than she expected to return home. She glances around tentatively, half expecting to see Chloe and Emily in the living room. She lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding, when she sees it's devoid of anyone.
She immediately feels bad that she's relieved.
Yet, suddenly there's hope that maybe she can delay the inevitable. If she can disappear into her room and avoid talking to Chloe for a few more hours, maybe she can find a better way to apologize.
Yes, some time to think would really be handy right now, the petite ball of angst rationalizes. Beca closes the door softly behind her and turns around.
"Emily? Are you back already?" Chloe calls out from the kitchen.
Beca lets out a curse under-her-breath. She slumps against the door and remains there. So much for entering unnoticed.
The redhead waits for about five to ten seconds for a response, but when none comes, she ventures, "Beca?" Something about Chloe saying her name causes Beca's heart to swell, which just adds to her confusion.
Still no answer comes from the brunette, who is trying to formulate her words, while leaning against the door, but her throat closes up. Thousands of ideas are dancing through Beca's head, but she can't latch on a single one before Chloe's voice interrupts her train-of-thought.
"Hello?"
Beca kind of figures that her apology to Chloe will be both easy and difficult. She'd tell the redhead how sorry she is, and of course Chloe will accept it graciously; but that would be one of the issues. Chloe always accepts the apology no matter how sincere or half-hearted; there's no way to tell if Beca's sincerity would be recognized, Chloe deserves all Beca's sincerity.
"Beca?" Chloe asks, as she comes out of the kitchen, and into the entryway. Beca smiles sheepishly, as she meets Chloe's eyes, and tries to convey an honest apologetic demeanor. Her chest begins beating like a drum. Still it hurts the brunette to note there is not the normal softness in Chloe's usually forgiving blue eyes, and the barest hint of insecurity.
It physically pains Beca to know she's the cause of this. While at the same time it's confusing as part of Beca can only focus on how pretty her friend is.
"Beca, are you okay?" the redhead asks, the tiniest hint of irritation creeping into her voice at the brunette's continuing silence.
Beca can't help but note the lack of sympathy or easy appeasement she normally feels from her ever forgiving friend. This cuts Beca to the bone, and she drops her eyes to the floor. It makes it easier for her to wallow in the quagmire of her guilt.
"Beca…" It's no longer in the form of a question. Irritation rings loud and clear. Beca raises her head tiredly, her cheeks flushed looking even more pink in the dim light of the entryway. Yet the brunette still can't find her voice, because she's thinking about her silence, and how rude it is, which just stifles all new attempts at speaking.
Chloe doesn't deserve this; she deserves much better. Thinks Beca though she's still struck frozen in place, her only movement, her eyes growing round as they are captured by Chloe's cerulean blue.
She knows she looks increasingly guilty, her face blushing rose pink.
"Becs, are you okay?" Chloe asks in a slightly softer voice. The concern quite evident in her tone, and facial features. Chloe can never hide her concern for Beca. She waited expectantly for an answer, but the DJ wavers with a complete lack of confidence.
The DJ looks at Chloe with apologetic eyes and nods her head. For some reason the sight of Chloe, who has been cooking in the kitchen, and looking all domestic, causes Beca's voice to catch more, because she finds great beauty in her friend.
And that's crazy, because this isn't how one friend should consider the other.
Right?
For some reason though she senses Chloe may feel the same.
And that's not crazy; right?
Beca is fairly certain that Chloe cares for her above and beyond the call of normal friendship, and slowly she's realizing those feelings may be mutual. She's not sure what this means, but she knows it's important.
She can feel Chloe's eyes on her, waiting for her to speak. But Beca still can't find her words. An apology just seems so lacking.
At Beca's continued silence, Chloe's annoyance grows. Gesturing back towards the kitchen, she says, "I think I'm just going to go back…."
Straightening herself up, Beca says quickly, "I wanted to apologize to you." It comes out in a rush. Beca's afraid she won't get it out. Then as she falls back into silence, all she can think, is that wasn't so hard, but it also isn't close to being enough.
Chloe stares back at her younger friend, and acts unfazed by this admission. Beca is caught in Chloe's gaze and is lost. Eyes that are usually crystal bright, have lost some of their luster. She feels the tension returning, and tries again, her voice wavering, "I really want to say I'm really sorry."
"You do? Really?" Chloe asks in an exaggerated faux-befuddlement.
Beca does her best to communicate with her best friend, but it's hard. The look in Chloe's eyes is everything she feared.
"Yeah…" answers Beca weakly. Chloe continues to stare at her and Beca can't come up with a thing to say. Beca feels her skin becoming flushed and her temperature rising.
Chloe's angry stare begins to turn quizzical. She tilts her head and looked at Beca's face with a hint of amusement. A hesitant smirk begins to tug onto Chloe's lips. Beca can't help watching her lips.
Beca scratches the nape of her neck sheepishly, she says after a long pause, "I'm sorry. I should've… I should've known how you feel, how important today is."
Beca glances up at Chloe. Her eyes meeting those cerulean blues, which now seem to be getting a touch of their usual twinkle. Chloe continues to remain silent, but her features lose more of her anger.
"I brought you this," says Beca pulling a black leather bound executive portfolio. Chloe accepts the offered item and drops her eyes to it. She gasps as she sees her name engraved in gold, 'Chloe Beale, Music Teacher'. Her eyes growing in wonder.
The redhead raises her eyes, and Beca can see confusion in her cerulean blue eyes.
"Open it," whispers Beca.
Chloe opens it and gasps. Inside is a stack of papers. The first is the sheet music for John Legend's 'All of Me'. She thumbs the page and looks at the next, 'Just Give Me a Reason', by Pink. The third is James Blunt's 'You're Beautiful'.
Chloe looks up into Beca's stormy blue eyes, her cerulean blue questioning. "What is this?" the redhead finally asks.
Beca reaches up and scratches the back of her head while dropping her eyes to the papers in Chloe's hands. "Ummm… Well, you're going to need music to teach the kids… right?" She gestures to the music sheets. "I thought you could use some music with which to teach them. And I thought you could use you know, music from this century…"
"There are hand notes?" Chloe asks, as she notes handwriting in the margins.
"Yeah, I went through them, made suggestions. I also tried to find finger diagrams that can go with the music. You know, to help your more beginner students."
"Becs, this is so sweet." The redhead's hands flick through the sheet music, she sees more titles and artists she recognizes. She silently mouths the lyrics of certain songs, and quietly hums the notes of others. Her head comes up at one particular, "You included 'Let it Go'? From Disney's Frozen?"
Beca blushes, and drops her eyes again, "Well, yeah… I mean you are going to be teaching a lot of prepubescent girls, right?"
The redhead's lips curve into a smile. And any lingering insecurity disappears from Chloe's features.
"Good point, just figured you would focus on groups like Pvris…"
The petite brunette smirks, "Pvris? You think I would include Pvris?"
"Hello. Have I been living with the best DJ in America, or under a rock?"
Beca blushes and Chloe smiles, and the two feel more normal than they have in weeks, which is quite refreshing. "So, yeah, they're in there too… I put in 'Heaven' and 'You and I'."
Chloe starts thumbing through the stack till she finds one of the music sheets for Pvris. She stops when she finds the sheet music for 'You and I', and pulls it out. Her eyes dance over the music and she can't help singing.
I know it's warmer where you are
And it's safer by your side
But right now, I can't be what you want
Just give it time
And if you and I
Can make it through the night
And if you and I
Can keep our love alive, we'll fight
Her voice is soft and melodious, and it can't help but bring back memories of the first-time Chloe had ever harmonized with her. A moment in time that is forever etched in Beca's memory. It's so warm and special, and Beca can't help but joining in.
We can meet in the middle
Bodies and souls collide
Dance in the moonlight
Where all the stars align
Oh, you and I, oh you and I, oh
Well it's cold when we're apart
And I hate to feel this die
But you can't give me what I want
Just give it time
And if you and I
Can make it through the night
And if you and I
Can keep our love alive, we'll fight
The two stop and look deeply into each other's eyes. Now for both women there's the shared memory, of an intimate second encounter; at the same time both crazy and perfect. A first time singing together, but more importantly the shared smiles, the shared glances, the knowledge that each stood bared and vulnerable to the other. A moment that had intertwined their lives together forever.
Beca suddenly feels herself being engulfed in a familiar, but missed embrace. The sudden hug of Chloe shouldn't come as a surprise, but it does. She can't help but responding to the redhead's embrace, nor the swell of her heart at the feel of Chloe's body tight against hers. She turns her head and whispers into the crux of the redhead's shoulder and neck, "I'm sorry…"
"It's okay," whispers the redhead, and there it is, because somehow, Beca knew it would be Chloe's response. It's okay. Suddenly all her fears and worries seem so silly and unnecessary.
The hug lasts longer than any normal one, but it feels right. When the petite brunette does step back, she's wearing a shy smile. Chloe smiles in return, she whispers, "Thank you," her voice and expression as warm as her eyes and heart have ever been. It brings courage to Beca. The young DJ opens her messenger bag and pulls out a smaller box and hands it to her best friend. "This is part of your apology, I mean my apology to you…" She stops talking, takes a breath, and then says, "It's for you, I hope that you enjoy this as well."
Chloe answers at once, "Of course I will."
The DJ smirks, "You haven't heard it yet Chlo."
Chloe looks her directly in the eyes, and says with all sincerity, "Becs, it's from you. I'm absolutely sure I will love it."
Beca feels herself pulled into another hug, bright red hair all in her face. "I should do this more often…" she whispers before she can filter what she's saying.
Chloe pulls back, her eyes studying Chloe's face, and then says with all honesty, "You can do this, not what preceded it…"
Beca nods vigorously, wanting to make it clear that she never wants to repeat the mistakes of the last few weeks. "Yeah, definitely, nothing like the last few weeks." Beca reaches down to the grocery bag that she had dropped at her feet and picks it up.
"I also got you this," Beca pulls a larger box out of the paper bag, and hands it over. Chloe recognizes the box, eagerly accepts and opens it, smiling brightly as she looks inside at a strawberry cheesecake from their favorite bakery. It has a light golden center covered in bright red strawberries and whip cream. Chloe looks at the cake, her eyes glimmering. It looks absolutely delicious, and Chloe's mouth waters. It's her favorite, and she tries her hardest not to drool.
She looks up at her friend, and her eyes are shiny. The visible proof of the amount Chloe cares for Beca is easily seen in the redhead's eyes, making Beca feel just so much more awful for her behavior the past week.
Chloe notes the wave of sadness, and decides that Beca has suffered enough. She smirks at Beca and giggles, as she asks, "I'm guessing you want a piece?" She knows this is one of Beca's favorites as well, although she always plays it off as it being Chloe's.
To this question, the petite brunette nods. Chloe smiles brightly and walks into their kitchen, setting the cake on the counter.
Beca follows, finding her voice, "Look Chloe, this in no way makes up for my recent behavior, but I hope you get that it's a small token of my appreciation for everything you do."
Chloe smiles as she takes the cake out of its box, and retrieves a knife to cut it. "I do, Becs, and it really is sweet of you," She says cutting the cake into slices and putting one on a plate she just pulled out of the cupboard.
Beca can't help but notice that the redhead's smile seems to have a touch of a smirk. She looks intently at Chloe but can't discern any residual anger. Her acceptance of Beca's apology seems to be genuine enough. Still her Chloe senses are tingling, telling Beca the redhead is up to something.
Before the tiny DJ can give it more thought, Chloe's arm loops through petite brunette's and pulls her into the empty living room and over to the couch.
"Here you go, my sweet apologetic Becs," Chloe coos cutting a bite from the single slice she brought, and holding it up to Beca's lips.
To which the petite brunette recoils in horror. "Wait a second, I thought this was supposed to be my peace offering to you, as part of my apology, not a weird personal boundary thing!" Beca exclaims in a huff.
This causes Chloe to frown. "A personal boundary thing, Becs? What are you talking about?"
"This," Beca indicates the bite of cheesecake being offered, and then the space between them. "Why are you trying to feed me?"
Chloe tut tuts her younger friend, and pushes the offered bite closer. "I'm just offering you some of the delicious cake you so generously brought me. So, you'd rather not have the cake?" Chloe asks before offering a bite again.
Beca keeps her mouth shut, and gives a quick shake of her head.
"What a waste…" Chloe sighs dramatically. She adopts her best sad puppy dog eyes, and Beca feels her will weaken. The petite brunette would willingly swear in open court that the redhead's blue eyes actually increase in diameter when she uses those eyes.
Beca just stares at her best friend for a moment, and then down at the plate in Chloe's hand. The slice of cake does look so perfect... And yet, Chloe feeding it to her just seems so wrong. It's so incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. It would be sheer torture for the angsty brunette.
Suddenly Beca screws her eyes tight and looks at her best friend through squinting eyes. "This is my punishment for being a dick the last few days; isn't it?"
Chloe's smile takes on a knowing look, and she begins to nod her head, even as she says, "Why would I ever do that? That would just be rude and thoughtless..."
"I'll eat it," Beca concedes, "Please… Just... Don't be all weird when feeding it to me, ok?"
Chloe smiles broadly, and holds the cake up to Beca's mouth again. The petite brunette opens her mouth and accepts the forkful of strawberry cheesecake. She closes her eyes and savors the cake, it's delicious creamy taste filling taste buds, the strawberries and whip cream mixing with the cake into a heavenly delight. It was everything that Beca had hoped it would be when she bought it, and she made a happy moan. Strawberry Cheesecake may have started as Chloe's favorite dessert, but over the last five years it had become Beca's as well.
Beca keeps her eyes closed as she savors every moment of being fed. She sighs contentedly.
Chloe giggles at her best friend, looking deep into the brunette's steel-gray blue eyes. "I'm guessing you're really enjoying this."
Beca smiles shyly and nods, "Best punishment I've ever received. Not sure if this isn't enticing me to do more dick moves in the future."
Chloe gives a mischievous smirk. "In the future, I might find less appealing punishments." The redhead holds up another bite, "Do you want some more?"
Beca nods a bit too eagerly, and Chloe begins feeding her another forkful.
"Look Chloe, I'm really sorry. I've made some… a lot of… mistakes lately… I never meant to hurt you…."
Chloe stops the brunette with a hand on her knee. Beca can't help notice the change in her redheaded friend. She looks Beca in the eyes, and when Chloe speaks, there's an audible vulnerability in her voice. "Beca… It's okay… Look we both know you are meant for great things, and your career is really starting to take-off. All I ask is maybe don't be in such a rush to leave me behind…"
"What? Chlo?" Beca's eyes grow wide at her best friend's revelation. "Is that what you think is happening? No!" Beca begins to shake her head vigorously.
"Beca…"
"I'm not leaving you behind Chlo. I'm never leaving you behind. I need you in my life. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. You are a huge part of my life.…" Beca is staring into Chloe's eyes as she makes this declaration, and she can see in Chloe's eyes that the redhead isn't truly believing what she's being told.
There's still resignation in Chloe's voice as she says, "It's okay Becs. You don't have to…."
Beca cuts her off, speaking very fast, so she won't be interrupted. "Look Chlo, I'm not good at always letting those close to me know my true feelings, but you have to know, you need to know, I love everything about you. I love the sound of your laugh and the way your voice rises when you're excited; and I love that you get excited by just about everything. I love your passion, and dedication. I love you put friends first, and you've always been there for me. Basically, I love you…."
Beca freezes.
Chloe freezes.
During Beca's deluge of words, she had leaned in close to her best friend and roommate. Chloe mirroring the movement. Now each sat frozen, eyes wide, still remaining close, just inches apart, unsure of what to do.
Beca's eyes flicker down to Chloe's lips.
Chloe's eyes search Beca's face, attempting to discern what was just revealed. She examines her tiny DJ closely. Shock and confusion seems to be the prominent emotion playing on Beca's face.
Beca's eyes flick up to Chloe's, and then back to her lips. Chloe can't help dropping her eyes to Beca's thin lips, as she sucks her lower lip under her teeth.
The door to the apartment slams open startling both.
"Oy! Shawshank! We're here!"
Beca and Chloe fly apart. Each scooting six inches in the opposite direction. Beca is pretty sure her features mirror the confusion Chloe's showing at the moment. "Fat Amy?"
"Oy! What are you twig bitches doing, eating my cake!?"
Both women only manage a "Huh?"
"You're eating my cake!" Accuses Fat Amy as she points at the half-eaten slice of strawberry cheesecake.
"What are you talking about, Amy?" Beca asks defensively. "I bought this cake for Chloe!"
"But you bought it for me, for giving you a ride. You know, since it's my favorite…"
"It's Chloe's favorite, Amy! Your favorite is French Silk, which I can't ever eat again thanks to your story about you, Bumper, and a bathtub in New York…"
"Well that ends any chance I will ever eat a French Silk again in my lifetime," says Aubrey as she enters the apartment.
"Never say never Bree," says Stacie trailing behind. "I think I can change your mind. Besides the bathtub idea sounds perfect."
"I used to like French Silk…" sighs Emily dejectedly as she closes the door.
"See what you did Amy, you broke Legacy," scolds Beca. "And ruined French Silk for us."
"Trust me, what Bumper and I did, didn't ruin French Silk, it enhanced it," Fat Amy says dreamily.
"Dude! Gross!"
"Sorry Stace," Aubrey shakes her head, "I don't even think you can save this."
Stacie just smiles wider, "Challenge accepted Posen."
Chloe just starts giggling at the antics of her friends, partly at the ridiculousness of the discussion, but also to cover her blush at what just happened between her and Beca. She cuts into the slice of cheesecake and takes a bite.
"Oy! You're still eating my cake!"
Beca crosses her arms and fixes Fat Amy with a withering stare, "It's HERS to eat!"
The blonde Aussie is about to answer, but finally really sees the look on her smaller friend's face, and thinks better of it. "Well she could at least share," Fat Amy says in a small voice.
"Of course, Fat Amy," replies Chloe, jumping from her place on the couch, hoping nobody notices how quickly she moves. "Let me get plates. Does anyone else want some?"
There's a chorus of affirmatives from all the friends. "Everyone take a seat in the living room."
Aubrey watches her best friend with narrowed eyes as she leaves for the kitchen, as she takes a seat in the plush chair. She hadn't missed the blush her friend was sporting, nor that the Hobbit was also blushing. She glances up at Stacie, who's taking a perch on the plush chair's overstuffed arm rest. Stacie catches her eyes and does a subtle nod tilt towards Beca.
The blonde takes note of the way Beca's steel blue eyes follow Chloe. It's obvious that Fat Amy interrupted something when she barged in. She doesn't have to wonder what though; Aubrey can see it, written plainly in the way Chloe and Beca are holding themselves.
Aubrey watches Beca's hands fidgeting, as if she's not quite sure what to do with them. The blonde notes the way Beca's eyes flick to Chloe's retreating form and back. When Chloe disappears into the kitchen, Aubrey notices that Beca is still unable to settle, and is acting as if she has something to hide. The petite brunette looks from face to face of all her friends, but never quite meet the eyes of anyone.
It's a certainty that Aubrey will be having an in-depth conversation with her best friend sometime in the not so distant future. She thinks about following the redhead into the kitchen and cornering her there, so she can get to the bottom of it, but Chloe is already returning with the cake balancing in one hand and plates and forks in the other.
"Damn Ginger, that was fast. You must have realized how hungry I am," says Fat Amy as she scoots over to the coffee table where Chloe is laying out the cake.
"You're always hungry Amy…" sighs Beca.
"Well I have to keep this sexual engine fueled," replies Amy with a quick slap to her belly.
"How am I not more scarred?" Asks Emily as she finds a space for herself next to the DJ at the coffee table.
"Oh legacy, you are, but it's those quirks and scars which bond us as Bellas," replies Chloe as she hands the taller girl a slice of the cheesecake. With a smile and a wink Chloe continues, "We would be a boring bunch if we didn't."
"And boring we're not," adds Beca.
"Not in the slightest," purrs Stacie, giving Aubrey a wink.
Needing to take this conversation in a new direction, Beca asks, "Umm, soooo, uh, why is everyone here?"
Amy nudges her petite friend, "Come on Short Stack. I told ya; I was going to get the rest, so they could all join in on my happy news. Are ya kumfumbled?"
Beca looks at her Aussie friend in complete bewilderment. "Ummm… what?"
Amy looks at her with her own worried look, "You know, confused or lost… Are you okay Short Stack? You seem kinda flustered."
Beca digs into her half-eaten slice of cheesecake as a bit of cover, while nodding, "Yeah, I'm just really, really, tired."
Knowing that getting anything more from Beca in a group setting is nigh impossible, Aubrey interrupts Fat Amy. Tired of waiting for Fat Amy's news, she asks, "Can you tell us what's going on already?"
Easily diverted, especially when the topic of conversation is about her, Fat Amy moves to stand just in front of the television, so everyone is facing her. She rubs her hands together, and smiles like the proverbial cat who caught the canary. "Well as you know, I'm getting married to the bloke who butters my toast…."
Beca groans in protest.
"Can we please do this without the food metaphors," interrupts Aubrey.
"Especially when we're never sure what's a metaphor and what's literal," adds Beca.
"Amen," quips Emily.
"But they bring color to your rather dull lives," says Fat Amy in all seriousness.
"Okay, I'm headed back to my place," says Aubrey, "Are you coming?" She asks Stacie.
Before Stacie can answer, Amy holds up her hands. "Wait," says Fat Amy. "Please."
Aubrey pauses, and looks to Stacie and then Chloe. Both women give her silent looks, asking she give the blonde Australian a few more moments. With a deep sigh the blonde sits back down. She then raises her right eyebrow, in silent command to proceed.
Amy is just about to do just that, when Lily silently enters the room from the hallway that leads to the bedrooms.
All the women in the room are startled by the silent girl's entrance by their silent friend.
"Uh, Lily? What brings you here?" Chloe asks the silent Korean woman, as she settles herself onto the coffee table.
"... Important moments happening…." mumbles Lily. Beca and Chloe both feel like Lily gives them a pointed look.
"Are you here for Fat Amy's announcement?" Emily asks.
"... Already know…." Again, the women in the room only hear part of the answer.
"What do you mean you know?" Amy asks.
Lily shrugs, and whispers, "Telepathy…." Or at least that's the word all the women think they heard.
Emily can't help herself "How did you get into the apartment?"
More quiet mumbling, but one word comes across clearer than the rest, "... teleportation…" or something close. All the women in the room look to one another with shrugs and confused looks. Lily simply shrugs and continues to sit, and stare at Fat Amy expectantly.
"Ummm, yeah, Uhh," stumbles Fat Amy, trying to regain her balance in this announcement. It had become derailed, and she wasn't sure how. She had only made a simple description of her Bumper's love for her. Deciding she needs to move this announcement along, Fat Amy looks at the various faces sitting around the room in front of her. "There's something I've been wanting to ask all of you,"
"Take your time," Beca sarcastically responds.
"So, what exactly is it that you have been meaning to tell us?" Stacie asks Fat Amy.
"You know most of my family is back in Tasmania," Fat Amy hooks her thumb behind her, as if gesturing towards Australia. "What you don't know is that they won't be making it up for the wedding," Fat Amy's voice actually drops, and the women in the room feel their hearts dropping for their usually unflappable friend. Since Fat Amy hadn't announced a time or place for the wedding, they hadn't thought about the logistics of Fat Amy's family coming.
Chloe asks the question on everyone's mind. "Why?"
"Oh, you know, old wounds, past mistakes, timing of the wedding," Fat Amy rambles on, not looking up from the floor. It's a rare moment of vulnerability for the woman. At that moment, all the women in the room realized that they hardly knew anything about Fat Amy's family. She rarely talks about them, and when she does, they are not sure if the blonde Australian's stories are true, exaggerations, or flat out lies.
"But that's okay; because I found a new family here." Fat Amy's head comes up, and she smiles proudly at all the women in the room as she continues. "You're my family," Fat Amy says confidently. "It's important to me that you, my American family be there to support me."
Gesturing towards Beca, "I already asked Short Stack here to be my Maid of Honor, and she of course gladly accepted the honor of standing with me." Beca is blushing as all eyes are on her. Chloe nudges her petite friend in the ribs. Amy continues, "Now I want to ask all of you, if you will stand with me as my bride's maids?"
Chloe and Stacie are immediately on their feet shouting 'Of course!" As both women maneuver to give Fat Amy hugs. Aubrey is next, and she also indicates yes, and then Emily steps up, grinning from ear to ear as she nods her head yes.
Holding up her hands to indicate 'stop', Fat Amy says, "Hold up Legacy. I was thinking a different role for you…."
Emily's face falls in confusion, and she asks, "What?"
The blonde Aussie starts smirking, "I was thinking you could be our flower girl…."
"I can't be a FLOWER GIRL!" Emily exclaims irately.
"Course you can, Emily. You'll be perfect. Maybe we can have Benji be the ring bearer."
"I'm not being a flower girl. I'm too tall!" Emily stamps her foot indignantly.
"I know it would be a bit unorthodox, but you would be so cute Legacy." Fat Amy reaches up and pinches Emily's cheeks, who smacks the hand away, and huffs, even as she feels the blush in her cheeks.
"I'm NOT being your flower girl," declares Emily with a finality.
Fat Amy bursts into laughter. "I know Legacy. I'm just joshing you. As much of a joey as you are, I want you up next to me when I stand and get married." She opens her arms, and Emily giggles and leaps into a hug.
There's more congratulations given, and Chloe disappears for a few seconds, returning with a bottle of champagne, and seven glass flutes. "This calls for a toast!" More cheers all around as she begins passing out the long stem glasses, and Beca takes the bottle and begins to open it.
"That's not how you do it Shawshank," declares Fat Amy as she grabs the bottle from her shorter friend.
"Hey!"
Ignoring her friend's protest, Fat Amy says, "This is how you do it," as she applies pressure with her thumb on the cork.
"Amy wait," says Aubrey, but it's too late, the cork flies out of the bottle with a loud pop, a small fountain of the champagne rising out of the bottle. The cork ricochets off the ceiling and is just about to hit Beca in the face when a hand snatches it out of the air.
Beca's eyes cross as they try to focus on the small fist just an inch from her face. Lily opens her hand, and the cork rests on her palm. Beca weakly says, "Thanks Lily."
Lily merely nods and then makes the cork disappear in a move that would make Benji jealous.
With a nervous chuckle, Fat Amy says, "Uh yeah, thanks Lily. Quite the pop there, wasn't it?" To deflect attention, she holds up the bottle. "Champagne?" and she starts pouring into offered glasses.
Once everyone has a glass, Aubrey holds up her flute and says, "A toast, to our never boring Bella sister. May she and," there's a momentary look of distaste on her face, "Bumper have a long happy life together."
There is a chorus of 'Here here,' and the girls all touch glasses and drink up. Amy downs hers and then refills. She holds up her hands as she says, "That's not all." The women around the room all quiet down, retaking their seats, expecting another drawn out presentation. Fat Amy however decides it's time to just go for it. "Universal agreed to pick us up. We're going to be on TV Pitches! We've signed the contract!"
"Are you kidding Amy?" Stacie asks as she jumps up from her perch.
"Nope," Fat Amy answers, as she shakes her head no. "It's all official. We're going to be making a public announcement on Monday!"
Chloe, Emily, and Stacie all squeal, jumping up and down. Stacie grabs Aubrey and pulls her into a hug, and a not so subtle squeeze of Aubrey's butt, as she lifts the blonde off the floor and twirls her.
"Stacie!" Aubrey blushes from head to toe.
"Just caught up in the moment, Bree," Stacie makes an unconvincing attempt at looking apologetic.
Beca and Chloe can't help giggling at their friend's antics. Aubrey gives them one of her patented looks with a raised eyebrow, and the two best friends realize they have their arms draped over each other.
The two best friends pull away immediately and each blush, not looking at each other or anyone else in the room. "So, when do we start filming?" Chloe asks to deflect attention.
"Okay, this is the thing. We are going to have a month prep time, and will do a live show in six weeks."
"What?" Asks all the women in the room.
"I thought this was going to be a taped show?" Aubrey asks, a very perplexed look on her face.
"Well that was the original plan, but the suits at Universal decided from what they saw at the last presentation, a live show would be easier to sell. Give it more cache, so to speak."
"I don't know Amy. This commitment is getting bigger and bigger. I need to get back to school at the end of the summer," says Emily.
"We'll work it out for you Legacy. Don't worry about that. The first show will be in August. So, there won't be any conflict for that one."
"I agree with Emily, Amy, this is getting more and more complicated," says Aubrey.
"I agree," adds Stacie.
Holding up her hands, Amy says, "It's not really changing anything, save that it will be live instead of taped." She sees the looks on everyone's faces, and knows she's going to have to go for the hard sell. "Guys, I know this isn't exactly what you signed up for, but I know you can do this, and I need you for this."
"Amy," Aubrey sighs.
"General, please I need you," Amy says with more vulnerability than she usually ever shows. "Guys, I need you all…"
Chloe looks at everyone around her. Slowly everyone nods, and the redhead smiles, "Of course Amy. We'll be there for you."
"Great! Now we have a lot to do. The wedding of course will be in five weeks," Amy says nonchalantly.
"What?!" All the women in the room jump up again.
"Yeah, didn't I mention that already?" Amy asks everyone.
They all answer, "No!"
"Oh, yeah, Bumper wants us married before the show, so we can tell the audience we're married when we introduce the show."
"That's impossible." Beca and Aubrey say together.
"That's exactly what Ashley and Jessica said," says Fat Amy, her face scrunching at the thought. "Trouble is I can't solve it with you like I did with them."
"What did you do to get them on board?" Emily asks the blonde Australian.
"I tripled their pay." The blonde says nonchalantly.
"Poor Jessica and Ashley," Beca whispers to Chloe.
"Yeah, I can only imagine what hoops Amy is going to have them jumping through," Chloe whispers back.
"What are we going to do?" Beca asks her best friend.
"I want to do it, but it's really on you Becs." Chloe whispers honestly. "I've got the time. Your schedule is the filled one."
"Yeah," Beca rubs the back of her neck. "I don't know. I am not sure…" She trails off, then looks at Fat Amy who is in deep conversation with Aubrey and Stacie. "But I can't say no to Amy. I mean it's Amy, right?"
Chloe nods. "Yeah, it's Amy." She sighs. "You know I have your back right Becs? If you want to do this or don't, I will back you." She looks Beca in the eyes, "I will do whatever I can to keep the pressure off of you."
Beca looks at her best friend. Suddenly she sees everything she's been struggling with today, and for really the last few years in stark clarity. Suddenly she knows a deeper truth. "Yeah, I know Chlo. I know." She looks up at her large blonde friend. "Okay Amy, we're in. What's the plan?"
"I knew it. Look guys, it's going to be fun! We'll have my Hen Party, the dress fitting, the Bachelors' and Spinsters' Ball…"
"Uhh, what's a Bachelors' and Spinsters' Ball?" Emily asks.
"Oh, it's an Aussie tradition, it's a huge party before the wedding. We're going to have one, and it's going to be a blast! Ashley and Jess are already planning it." Fat Amy's enthusiasm is infectious, and all the women find themselves smiling and nodding.
"Then it's settled." Amy announces. "We're doing this! Yay us!" She points to Chloe, "Ginger, do you all have any more?" She holds up the bottle of champagne. Chloe nods and disappears back into the kitchen, as Amy pours the remains in her bottle into the girl's glasses. "Drink up Pitches! The month of celebration starts now!" The women in the room all give a shout, lifting their glasses to the ceiling. Chloe returns with two more bottles of champagne and raises them to more cheers.
Aubrey and Stacie intercept the bottles when Amy goes to get one, and open them without the excitement of Amy's earlier attempt. Glasses are filled, music is turned on, and it does become a celebration.
Beca finds herself gravitating to Chloe, and notes that the redhead is doing the same. They come to a stop in front of the other and find themselves looking into each other's eyes. Beca feels the warmth of clarity again, as if all answers she's ever looked for are in the blue of her friend's eyes. She can see that Chloe is about to say something, but there's a knock at the door. Both women turn, and involuntarily step back. She knows who it will be, and she senses Chloe does to.
Emily skips over to the door and opens it before anyone has a chance to say anything, and there is Jesse, standing with his goofy grin, holding a couple movies and a bouquet of wild flowers.
"Becaaw! Looks like I'm just in time for the party," Jesse says good naturedly.
"Umm yeah…" Beca says.
"These Pitches all agreed to stand with me. Your particular ball of angst and surliness having the honor of being my Maid of Honor. We were just starting the celebration." Fat Amy volunteers.
Beca looks at Jesse with a bit of trepidation. "Umm yeah, what she said. Ummm, what are you doing here? Thought you were going out with the guys?"
Jesse comes in fully and gives Beca the flowers. "It's not the same without my girl. Plus, a quiet night in, with you sounded perfect." He holds up the movies. "Thought we could hang out and watch something, and you could get some sleep." He chuckles, as everyone knows Beca falls asleep in most movies. "What do you say? I know last couple nights have been rather sleepless."
Beca feels all eyes on her, as an answer is expected. Yet she only really cares about a pair of cerulean blue orbs that she can feel. Jesse prods again, and Beca feels trapped. She finally nods, and says, "Yeah, sure, that would be nice," the words feel like ash in her mouth, yet she squeezes out a forced smile.
"Perfect," says Jesse, and he heads back towards Beca's room. "Ladies, sorry to interrupt. Congratulations Amy. I'm so looking forward to the wedding." He nods and disappears down the hall.
Beca stands looking at where he disappeared, and refusing to meet Chloe's eyes. She feels she has suddenly taken another step back. She looks at Amy. "Sorry, I'm going to cut it short." She then looks at Chloe, and she can see there's pain in her best friend's eyes. She mouths a 'sorry', and Chloe seems to snap out of wherever her mind was, because the redhead is smiling, and says, "I always have your back, Becs, always."
As Beca walks back to her room, she whispers with confidence that even surprises her, "I know…."
[*+*X*+*X*+*X*+*]
A/N: And that's it for another chapter. Sorry for the ending of this chapter, but a few more things have to happen before Beca and Chloe can make that next step.
I wanted this chapter to really convey that Beca is in the midst of an epiphany. A realization about herself and her feelings. For those who want her to make the leap, I would like to point out, up until this point she has always seen herself as straight, and she still fears being her father's daughter. Just leaving a relationship is not something she can do easily.
Hopefully you all are still on board with this story. With the wedding plans and the show prep, things are going to start happening.
Please Review. Let me know what you think.