A/N: Hello Readers!Here's the newest chapter.
It's been a while. Sorry. Life does keep getting in the way. First I ran into a bit of writer's block, then I lost my computer, and had to start over. As is I had written so much, that I needed to divide out a lot of material for later chapters.
I hope you enjoy this new chapter, and if you like it or dislike it, please leave me a few reviews
As always, I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of the characters, but I do love them.
Please Enjoy!
CHAPTER 22
*** Life Keeps Getting In the Way***
Time has gone crazy.
Looking at the clock, Chloe lets out a sigh. Time has been moving so slowly, a constant drag. It's a plodding, steady reminder that she's alone, and will be for awhile; a very long while. It is also a countdown; slowly ticking away the final seconds of her current life, her life with Beca.
A doomsday clock to the end of her world.
This whole situation reminds Chloe of the final weeks of her first senior year in a way. There had been a countdown then too. As the Bellas progressed past the ICCA National Championship, Chloe had become frozen with indecision, as she had no real plan for after school, and only two parallel desires of remaining a Bella, and staying close to Beca. The trouble is, now there's no Russian Literature class to fail, that will allow her to extend her time.
Then again she's no longer the twenty-one year old she was then. At that point in her life she was someone willing to accept the humiliation of failing her final Russian Literature class. Of facing her parents and Aubrey, and telling them she would not be graduating from Barden. She was able to face this embarrassment and the indignity it entailed because she was not ready to face the world; not ready for a life without Beca.
Now she is… okay, maybe she isn't that different.
Chloe's sitting at their new piano. It's her new favorite place in the whole apartment. She's been remembering just how much she loved to play growing up. Her long nimble fingers dance effortlessly over the keys, pulling soft melodious music from the piano.
Her melody matches her mood, slow and sad, with a hint of loneliness. It was something she plays when she's alone and feeling melancholy. Chloe doesn't even know the name of this piece anymore. It was something she learned when she was ten, and had always thought was a very beautiful but sorrowful piece.
She playing it now because she needs to release the feelings that are constantly building up within her. Truth be told she's been playing it a lot lately. Her world is changing beneath her feet, and she can only stand and watch.
Chloe has always hated change. She has never been comfortable with it. If she could have her way, she would never see things come to an end. Yes it's irrational, she knows that, because of course life must continue. It's constantly changing, evolving, sometimes for the better-sometimes for the worse, yet she still hates it.
Maybe because of change's inevitability, Chloe feels it's okay to hate it.
When the proverbial clock strikes zero, Chloe knows her life will change, just as Beca's takes another step forward. And with that her tiny DJ will have passed her by. Of course Chloe will hate it; even as she happily supports her friend's successes, both professional and personal.
She knows that there's a dichotomy in this, a built in contradiction, but part of what makes her Chloe Beale is the ability to maintain this balance within. It's a part of her, she cannot get rid of it any easier than cutting off a limb.
Beca Mitchell unknowingly holds a major piece of her heart. In loving her, Chloe knows she must embrace her friend's happiness, even as it shatters her own heart.
It is what it is, and slowly she's coming to the point of acceptance.
Maybe it was the universe showing her the tiniest bit of kindness when it allowed her to witness Jesse buying the engagement ring? Maybe the universe was giving her time to prepare herself for the inevitable?
Chloe has decided to believe this theory. It helps her to soothe her broken heart. It has allowed her to start the internal process of preparing herself for her inevitable loss. She isn't sure how well it's going. She had tried cutting Beca out of her life, deciding not to go to the clubs where Beca is spinning, and reduce other outside contacts.
To mixed results.
The redhead has reduced the number of times going to the clubs, under the excuse of being busy with the summer camp, and her music lessons. Neither of which is false. Yet she just can't stop looking out for her tiny DJ. She still finds herself making sure Beca is eating properly, and that her tiny DJ's social media presence is updated.
And she hasn't been able to break her texting addiction. If anything she might have increased the number of texts she's sent to Beca. It might have been compensation for not seeing her favorite tiny bundle of grumpiness. Of course Chloe has her reasons for texting her best friend, even as she's trying to cut back. And they're really good reasons; such as Beca might have missed lunch or dinner, or the time Beca had a dentist appointment. Chloe also needed to make sure Beca made it to rehearsals, though she guesses that technically that's Jesse's job.
Then of course she needed to keep Beca up-to-date on Fat Amy's shenanigans, that Lily has been sleeping on their coffee table, Ashley and Jessica were sometimes using their apartment to hide from Fat Amy, and most intriguing was the continuing evolution of whatever is happening between Bree and Stacie.
Her tiny DJ has been so busy; Chloe feels it's her duty to make sure she knows what's happening with her friends, and that she's taking care of herself.
Lost in her playing, Chloe unconsciously shifts to another melody. It's as if her hands have a mind of their own, and are reading her her emotions. It takes Chloe a moment to recognize the tune she is now playing. When she does, she can't help the sad smile that touches her lips, and her fingers still on the keys, letting the melody fade into the silence. It's the perfect song for her feelings. She closes her eyes for a couple heartbeats, and takes a deep breath. When she's ready, Chloe begins again from the beginning, this time really feeling it, and when the moment is right she softly begins singing the lyrics,
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd
Need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side
The redhead's playing started slow, but it begins to pick up as she sings the next verse.
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
Soft words give way to passionate ones, that just can't be sung quietly. The apartment is filled with the sound of her voice, and it is too bad that there is no audience, because Chloe Beale may never have sung better. Every lyric she sings is chalked full of the whirlwind that are her emotions. She's a mess, she knows this, and playing is the closest thing to therapy that she can find.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missin' you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missin', too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear
To always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you
Her voice grows silent, as she continues playing just the piano. The notes are so pretty, it's what first caught her attention when she first heard this song, though the words would later speak to her. Chloe begins to sing again, her voice quiet again. Singing in a husky voice, still choked with emotion.
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
Again she raises her voice, as the song calls for. There is no way for Chloe to sing this quietly.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missin' you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missin', too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear
To always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you
Her eyes are closed, but she still feels the tears leaking out and running down her cheeks. She ignores them though, focusing solely on the music.
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah, yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do, I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe; I need to feel you here with me
Yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missin' you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missin', too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear
Will always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you
Eventually the song comes to an end, and Chloe stops playing. The last note hanging in the air as Chloe allows her fingers to linger over the keys. In the silence she hears the ticking of the old clock on the wall in the kitchen. The sound is a steady reminder of the countdown that is always in the back of her mind. She starts playing again to drown out the sound. The sound of a new random melody filling up the room. She wishes it could quiet the noise in her head.
There was a moment there two weeks ago, for just an instant, when Chloe thought the countdown had been aborted. She had truly believed for the briefest of seconds that she might not have to leave this life at all. That hope quickly faded though, because as always life got in the way.
Chloe kept wondering what would have happened if Amy hadn't barged in at that moment. What would have happened if they had kissed? Chloe's positive that they were heading towards that. Each leaning into the other. Would her life have changed in that moment? Would it have been for the better or for the worse? She isn't sure, she wishes she did.
All she knows for sure, is it would have been life changing.
The redhead's playing becomes more strident as she silently curses Fat Amy. This is not the first time Chloe has found herself cursing her Aussie friend. There's a lot to love about the boisterous woman from Tasmania, but honestly her sense of timing can be really maddening. Her ability to cause headaches, one of her truly constant qualities.
But then, it's not Amy's fault that Beca ran after.
Chloe's play falters momentarily as she thinks these thoughts about Beca.
Maybe that's not fair.
Beca didn't ask Jesse to show up that night, so they weren't able to finish their conversation. It wasn't Beca's fault Jesse chose to stay the night, so Beca and her couldn't talk in the morning. Life in the form of Jesse Swanson just got in the way.
Since then, however, Beca had been MIA.
That is on Beca.
Fresh tears begin to form again in Chloe's eyes. A single drop slipping down her cheek following the track of a prior tear. Chloe is now playing the piano accompaniment to Trouble by Halsy, it's soft sad musical notes, feeling perfect for the moment. She's not even sure when she morphed into this piece. It just feels like the soundtrack one wants while feeling the bite of rejection. This time she can't marshal the strength to sing the lyrics.
Beca's message has been loud and clear. She has made her choice.
And it's not Chloe….
Chloe stops playing, as she looks up at the cursed clock in the kitchen. She needs to collect herself. She grabs a tissue and begins to dab at her eyes. Her next lesson should be here in a few minutes. Another student Mrs Murphy had found for her. The older Irish woman had become a one woman recruiting service for Chloe; having found a half dozen new students for Chloe and Emily. The old Irish woman seemed to be bound and determined to single handedly ensure Chloe succeeded in this endeavor.
Chloe can't help but wishing Beca had been able to do this with her. She had really wanted to share this with Beca. Building something that was theirs from scratch. Beca's good fortune had squashed that dream before it could even start. Chloe of course is crazy happy for her best friend and quite proud of all her successes, yet she couldn't help regretting the missed opportunity.
Beca's success didn't allow for silly things like teaching piano to pre-teens out of your living room. It actually doesn't allow Beca much of anything. Emily had told Chloe that Beca had been working late most nights, when she's not spinning at a club.
Emily had hinted it was really wearing on Beca. Chloe couldn't help worrying about her best friend. With a sigh Chloe pulls out her phone, she has a few minutes before her next student is scheduled to arrive. She might not be a part of Beca's future, but she can make sure she's there for her friend today.
It's what she does, she supports her friends, whatever they need. Beca chose a different path, but she's still Chloe's best friend, so the redhead makes sure her tiny DJ knows it.
Time has gone crazy.
It's flying by at an incredibly rapid pace, as Beca works on her music projects at Residual Heat, while also working on a number of studio management issues that creep up throughout the week. She's been working as if she's on automatic. It's the only way she can cope with all that's on her plate.
Trouble is, it leaves her dazed and confused and, she's not sure what day of the week it is.
It's Tuesday, no, it's Wednesday.
She thinks.
She's not sure.
The days were going by faster and faster.
Beca's mind has been elsewhere, and everywhere. It's been on work, on her relationships, and on her myriad of responsibilities that life keeps throwing at her. For starters she has the one hundred and one assignments J Michael has dropped in her lap; the promotion has only increased her workload. Then there's her mixes and sets she's needed for her DJ gigs, which are coming more frequently as Marcus has come through in a big way; maybe too well. On top of this is the growing time commitment of preparing for Fat Amy's television show and wedding, each of which were full time jobs unto themselves.
This all has left little free time, and what little she has had has been swept up by Jesse. Leaving little time for Chloe; yet the redhead has occupied some portion of all of Beca's waking thoughts. She's also pretty sure Chloe has played a prominent role in many of her dreams too, along with the occasional red panda.
She's not sure if her dreams leave her tingly excited or weirded out, but they definitely leave her unsettled.
For Beca, it feels so natural to think so much about her roommate, but it also scares her.
What do her feelings mean?
What does it say about her?
What does it say about her relationships?
These thoughts niggle at the back of her mind.
Constantly.
And thoughts of Chloe automatically lead to an all too familiar twinge of guilt. With all the work these past couple of weeks she has hardly had any time or energy for the redhead. Of course Chloe has been her usual very understanding self; in fact she's been even more supportive than usual over these past few weeks, which has only made Beca feel more guilty.
What does that mean?
She hasn't had a proper conversation with Chloe since the night Fat Amy asked her to be her Maid of Honor. They had been reduced to texting, occasional phone calls, and the rare passing each other either coming or going.
She had not meant to not talk to Chloe, she just hadn't had the time or privacy to see her face-to-face where they could talk; and their next conversation needed to be in person.
Of that the DJ is certain.
Beca has actually wanted this conversation to happen, needs it to happen, though she still has absolutely no idea what she's going say. The trouble is she's been falling behind on her work assignments at Residual Heat, and has more than a few overdue assignments. Of course her boss doesn't seem to care. J Michael has just kept piling more and more on her plate.
He hasn't got on her yet about any of the overdue assignments, but it's only a matter of time. She really needs to get her assignments in.
Then there are the preparations for her expanding number of DJ gigs. Eight performances over the past seventeen days.
It's beginning to take a toll.
It's what she's always wanted, but the saying 'careful what you wish for', keeps repeating in her head. The added performances have meant less time at home. Not just because her nights have been filled, but also she's been forced to spend a lot of time massaging her sets, creating playlists, and preparing for her performances.
Fat Amy is a whole other layer of life complicating tasks that have piled up. Ashley and Jessica must call her two to three times a day with some question or request that is all tied to the preliminary work for Fat Amy's wedding preparations.
Poor Ashley and Jessica, Beca had come home the other day to find them hiding from the boisterous Aussie.
And they hadn't even dealt with the preparations for Bumper and Amy's show. Those had just started and were preliminary, but were leaching more and more of her time.
Her life was just getting in the way.
And any time she did have a free moment, there was Jesse. Thoughts of her boyfriend causes a pang in her chest. She's still in a relationship with Jesse, and part of her feels as if she's being untrue to him. She especially feels guilty when she considers how good a boyfriend he is, and he has been trying so hard these past weeks. Which is just the more confusing. His actions can still fill her heart with a warm and fuzzy affection. But is it love or something one feels for a best friend?
She's not sure.
She can't even be mad at him that he is unintentionally blocking her from having a very needed conversation with Chloe. He is her longtime boyfriend, and he has been making every effort to be supportive of her, he truly has.
So how does she politely ask him to back off? How does she ask him to give her space, so she can talk about her feelings for someone else, with said other person. Beca knows she needs to talk with Chloe. Something happened at their apartment, or would have if Fat Amy hadn't burst in. It needs to be discussed; it really does.
Not for the first time, Beca curses Amy for being, well Fat Amy.
Though Beca knows that's not fair. She could have made the time since then, but part of her was scared. Something was about to happen when Amy came in. Something life changing, and she's not sure she's ready for life changing.
She needs to talk face-to-face with Chloe.
She knows this.
It's not that she doesn't want to talk, it's just life keeps getting in the way.
She feels like she's in a loop.
Beca pushes away from her desk in frustration. Rising up she stretches her back, suddenly feeling very old as she feels every kink and muscle stiffness. Too much time at her desk.
It's not that she hadn't been communicating with Chloe. They had been texting and talking on the phone all the time, maybe more than ever before; which is saying something.
She knows it's important that they start talking, but she also knows it needs to be face-to-face. Yet she hadn't found time to see Chloe. There's only just so many hours in a day.
Looking down, and how her career is now spilled all over her desk. Beca audibly groans. There are too many music sheets, assignment layouts and notes she has to write up, and she feels her stress levels going through the roof. She feels the unrelenting pull to get back on with her work, which somehow continues to pile up even as she's sitting there.
Beca wants to rip her hair out, scream to the heavens for a while and then maybe just sleep – god knows she hadn't slept properly in over a month. Again life just keeps getting in the way.
Beca sighs as she picks up an assessment piece on a potential new artist for the studio. A decent singer with aspirations of being the next Bruno Marrs, but Beca just doesn't feel it. The guy has a modicum of talent, but nothing about him stands-out.
She opens her laptop, and opens the word document she started for the report, and quickly fills out her last observations. Beca lets her fingers fly over the keyboard, quickly
She reads it over one more time before she saves it and attaches the document to an email, she then sends Sam, with a request to proofread and format properly.
That done, she slips her headphones onto her head and plugs them into the laptop, quickly selecting her newest mix for her next gig. She smiles as she puts it on in the background. She lets the music flow over her; letting it pull her in, guiding her. Beca then grabs her notebook, and starts scribbling down possible mixes.
The petite brunette has listened to an ungodly number of songs, and filled six pages of notes when she feels her phone vibrating. It takes her a few seconds to fish the device out of her pocket, as she scrambles to answer it before she's missed the call. Finally getting the device free, Beca answers her phone without looking at the screen. "Hello, this is Beca Mitchell."
"Hey Becs, just calling to check on you. Did you eat dinner?"
"Why would I have eaten dinner?" Beca asks incredulously. "It's only…." she looks at her phone, "9:45… Wait it's 9:45? How the Hell is it 9:45?"
"Well Becs, the second hand travels around the clock, and every count of sixty the minute hand moves forward…"
"Are you explaining to me how a clock works?"
"You asked how it got to be nine forty-five. I thought I would start with the basics."
"Ass," Beca mutters, but her voice gives her smile away.
The brunette is sure she can see the redhead's wide smile through the phone connection. Chloe doesn't bat an eye as she responds, "You love my ass."
"Yeah I do…." The words just slip out. Beca didn't mean for them to, but they did. Silence descends on the two, as both women wonder what they should say next.
Finally it's Chloe who breaks the silence with a question, "Are you hungry?"
Beca's empty stomach all but answers for her. "Umm yeah…."
"Good, check with the front desk…"
The DJ squints her eyes as if it will help her see the other woman. "Why?"
"There should be a delivery of Chinese food waiting for you."
Beca's eyes grow wide and round. "You bought me dinner?"
"Yep," answers Chloe as she pops her 'P'.
"Are you here?" Beca's voice rises in hope.
There's a pause before Chloe replies, "Nope," the 'P' doesn't pop this time.
Beca is a bit crestfallen and an , "Oh," escapes her.
"You know with the camp in the morning, I couldn't. We're taking the children to the LA Symphony tomorrow so I have to be there extra early."
"Wait! You take the campers on field trips?" Beca asks, surprised.
"Yeah, at least two a week," Chloe replies happily. "I don't go on all the trips, but since tomorrow's is music based, I'm one of the leads."
"We should set it up to have your campers come to the studio for a tour," Beca's eyes widen even as she says this. In her head she can't believe she just invited a summer camp to visit her work.
There's silence on the other line, as if Chloe can't believe it either. "Really?" The question is tentative.
Beca says 'No!' in her head, but her mouth says, "Of course." It's a good thing this is a phone call, because her scrunched up face would be a dead giveaway.
Unsure of what she's doing Beca decides to change the subject quickly. "So you got me Chinese food?"
"Yeah; knew you skipped dinner."
"How did you know?"
Again Beca can sense the redhead's shrug through the phone connection. "Simple, when you're working, you never stop to look after yourself."
Chloe's answer causes Beca to smile softly. "Thanks."
"Your welcome,"
"You take such good care of me…"
"And I always will."
There's a surprisingly not awkward pause between the two, that lasts for several seconds. Finally Chloe asks the question she's been dying to ask, "Are you free tomorrow afternoon?"
"Umm, maybe, yeah, I guess." Beca mumbles as she pulls up her calendar. She sees it is actually Wednesday. Means tomorrow she'll be in DJ mode. She continues "Yeah, I'll be open in the afternoon. Before my set at ClubExchange. J Michael usually gives me the afternoon. Why? What's up?"
"We're going to Ikea to buy Bree some furniture for her apartment."
"Who's we?"
"Aubrey, Emily, me and Stacie of course. It'll be fun. Please come."
"I don't know…." Beca's dubious, shopping still isn't her thing.
"Please." Big blue puppy dog eyes pop into Beca's mind.
She grits her teeth and asks, "What time?"
"We're leaving here at four," Chloe's voice is hopeful.
"Uhh…."
"Pretty please. We'll be done by seven and have you to the club by eight; promise," Chloe's words come out fast.
Beca can totally picture the puppy dog eyes that Chloe is making. "Okay, I guess…"
"YAY!"
The two talk for a couple more minutes, till Beca says, "I guess I have to get down to the front desk and get my food, so I can get back to work."
Beca speaks up after they spending a few seconds of silence on the phone. "Yeah, I should let you get back to work, so you can get out of there."
"Yeah, and thanks again." Beca looks at her iPhone and shakes her head slowly. She doesn't know what she would do
Beca swings into her favorite local coffee house for some early morning coffee, because Beca simply can't function properly this early in the morning without it. It's a basic truth about Beca, coffee is the one thing that she always needs in the morning. One cup of strong coffee is the difference between a successful, creative day, and a maddening, waste of a day.
Beca lives on the stuff, especially lattés, with extra shots of caffeine in the form of espressos. She's completely addicted to the caffeine and completely reliant on its ability to keep her going when sleep has been fleeting.
Stretching, she winces at the sound her back and joints make. She's stiff and sore, having woken about twenty minutes before, still at her desk. She couldn't believe she had fallen asleep at her desk. There were too many nights of late where she ended up sleeping at her desk; and she wasn't thrilled about it.
Her phone had run out of charge at some point during the night, and she had set her desk phone on forward, so she hadn't received any messages or calls, and so had actually slept through the night.
When it's Beca's turn in the queue she places her drink order, one large latté with an espresso shot, and then steps to the side while she waits patiently; well as patiently as she ever waits. She really needs this jolt of caffeine. The blonde guy at the counter hands Beca her coffee with a smile and a very cheerful voice. "Here you go," he says, "your mocha."
Mocha? What the Hell!?
Beca ordered a latté! "Wait…" she starts to say, but the barista has already moved to another customer. The place is crazy busy.
Beca can't help thinking that this day is just starting and it's already getting off to a terrible start. Looking at the cup before her she grimaces that it seems to be getting worse by the minute.
Beca doesn't have time for this, and so grabs the cup anyway; not wanting to cause a fuss; and stomps out.
She stops at the corner and waits for the crosswalk light to flash green. She grimaces as she takes a sip from the overly sweet mocha when she feels someone bump into her, causing her arm to move forward, just as the lid to Beca's cup pops off, spilling a lot of the mocha down the front of her shirt.
"Are you fucking kidding me!?"
Beca looks up to see the guy who ran into her still walking, eyes glued to his mobile phone, seemingly unaware that he plowed right through her.
"Excuse me," she calls to his retreating form. When she get no response she yells again, "EXCUSE ME!"
When the young man still doesn't respond Beca throws her hated mocha at him. The cup sails straight and true and hits the guy square in the back, spills out the remaining contents. Still the guy never looks up from his phone and continues to walk.
Beca can only stare incredulously, her jaw actually agape. "Un Freaking Believable," she mutters. Now she has to get home and change before she goes back to work.
With a huff, Beca turns on her heels and storms back to Residual Heat.
Chloe's in the Kitchen pouring herself some coffee when she hears the front door slam open and then running footsteps. She glances up and sees it's Beca. She smiles brightly as she continues pouring her coffee. This is an unexpected surprise.
A very welcome surprise.
"Hey Becs, you're home early. Well really way early. What are you doing here? Can I interest you in some coffee?" Chloe's words are fast with excitement, and she doesn't wait for an answer, she just starts searching for another mug.
She senses more than sees Beca step up behind her, so isn't too startled when she hears Beca behind her. "I don't really have time. Sam is waiting in the car…"
Chloe's brow creases in confusion, and her voice conveys the feeling. "Why is Sam in the car?"
"I needed to change," huffs Beca.
Chloe turns, letting out a slight yelp in surprise, as she takes in Beca's mocha stained attire. "Beca, what happened?"
Beca grimaces; she stands there smelling like chocolate and coffee, her clothes stained from chest to her thighs. "I'm really having a bad day…"
"I can see that," Chloe says arching her right eyebrow in silent question.
"A total dooslesnozzle walked right into me as I was drinking my mocha. And the asshat didn't even stop to apologize," replies Beca as she sweeps her hand over her outfit.
"You were drinking a mocha?" Chloe's right eyebrow goes up in question, even as she fights to stifle the smile threatening to breakout. It's not funny, but it kind of is.
Beca looks annoyed, and tries to convey through her glare that laughter at this situation will not be appreciated. "That's what you got from this story, Beale?"
"It's just you don't drink mochas," replies Chloe with a shrug, somehow managing to keep her smile at bay. This is a much harder task for her than one might think.
"Yeah, well that's another thing that's making this day such a winner. The idiot barista somehow thinks mocha sounds exactly like large latté with an espresso shot."
"Which coffee shop were you at?" Chloe asks, trying to understand what has been happening to her best friend.
Beca answers immediately, "Jammin Java…"
Chloe tilts her head, and asks, "The one down the block and across the street from Residual Heat?"
"Umm yeah…" Beca offers hesitantly.
"What were you doing there so early?" There's a touch of accusation in Chloe's question.
"Umm," Beca starts to fidget under the scrutiny of her best friend.
"Uhhh…"
"Beca," the brunette can totally hear her best friend's 'teacher voice' in how she says her name.
"I slept at my desk," Beca's mumbling comes out barely above a Lily level whisper.
"What was that?" Chloe is all teacher mode now.
"I slept at my desk," Beca mumbles a tiny bit louder, like a chastened pupil.
"Beca," Chloe scolds. "That's not good for you." She gives the shorter woman a look that she reserves for students who know they have done something unacceptable. Beca drops her head, actually embarrassed by her behavior.
Beca Mitchell, I don't care what time of night it is, you call, and I will come and get you," Chloe scolds her best friend.
Beca
"I'm sorry Beca," Chloe giving the petite brunette a sincere smile. "I can't give you a latté with an espresso shot, but I can give you a mean cup of coffee." The redhead holds up a mug with a picture of a grumpy cat, with the inscription, 'Don't Talk to Me Until I've Had My Coffee.'
Beca rolls her eyes, like she does everytime Chloe gives her this mug. "Really?" Beca indicates the mug as she asks.
"Uh huh," nods Chloe, " I bought it because it reminds me of you in the morning." She points to the picture. "All cute and grumpy."
Beca is about to say her usual 'I'm not cute' statement, but the scent of the freshly brewed coffee hits her as her best friend pours it into the offending mug. "Thanks, Chlo; you're a lifesaver," sighs Beca instead.
The redhead looks at her thoughtfully. "So you have a busy morning?"
Beca nods, "They are all busy now. Of course this one is busier than most. J Michael has scheduled two really important meetings this morning, and I didn't have a change of clothes." Frustration is quite evident in Beca's exasperated voice.
"Oh Becs, can I give you a hug?" Chloe asks. Her eyes grow with shock at her own audacity. The question just slipped out before she can stop it.
"I actually need one," The petite brunette says, surprising herself, as she steps into the redhead's arms. Beca has to use all her willpower to not just collapse into Chloe's arms. Even as the redhead wraps her up in a warm loving embrace, she has to resist the temptation to just melt into her, to hold her close and breathe her in.
Beca grins; Chloe just has this way of making her feel better. It doesn't matter what the situation is. It can be the strangest, most awkward of moments, and being in the Bellas lead to numerous such situations, but Chloe could make them just feel natural, almost normal.
The brunette's soft smile continues to grow as she feels Chloe's cheek resting against her head. It's so nice to be held like this, the feeling in her chest is warm, like nothing she's ever felt. At the same time Beca has to ignore the thoughts that are tumbling through her head. There isn't the time to deal with it.
How long does one need to figure out if you're gay or bi? Or is it that she's just in love with her best friend? How do people deal with issues like this? Do other people deal with issues like this?
This isn't something Beca is good at to begin with, and to top it off her small but seriously devoted support network is of no use, because it's primary members are intertwined throughout the mess. How does she tell her boyfriend she's having sapphic thoughts about her best friend? How does she ask her best friend for advice on how to speak to her about her feelings?
This is the problem with keeping so many at arms length.
Now though she just enjoys the feel of Chloe's arms. It would be so easy to lose herself in Chloe, and never come back. And like that she knows….
She loves Chloe.
Beca realizes it's clear as day….
And that is truly scary.
How did this happen?
What does this mean?
Is she ready for this?
So now she feels she's being forced to examine her sexuality, and that's leading to whole new sets of questions.
Chloe feels the change in Beca. Suddenly her petite best friend's body tenses up. She steps back and sees the tension in her face, and knows she has stepped over a boundary.
The redhead smiles her megawatt smile that usually makes Beca feel special. For some reason though Beca only tenses up more. Chloe decides to take a different track, and repeats her question from earlier, "So, you said you have a busy morning?"
"Uhh, yeah… In fact I should really be going to change…" Beca is a bit dazed.
Chloe leans forward and gives a light kiss to Beca's forehead. "Business attire?" She whispers the question.
"Umm, yeah…" Beca answers haltingly.
Chloe spins her shorter friend around and gently pushes her towards the bedrooms. "Check the back of your door. I hung up some dry cleaning in there. Your, 'I'll Rock Your World, I'm a Badass Business Woman' suit is hanging there," says the red head.
"My what?" Beca asks as she looks over her shoulder in bewilderment.
"The suit we bought you for graduation," Chloe hums.
"Oh. Oh! You got it cleaned? When? Why?" Beca is shocked. She had meant to get it cleaned.
"Couple weeks back. Figured you would need it with your new promotion. We really should get you a couple…" Chloe is cut-off by Beca who wraps her in a tight hug. It's the redhead's turn to stiffen, but then she too melts into the hug, and returns it.
"Thank you," whispers Beca as she releases, taking a step back.
Chloe simply waves Beca off, letting the petite brunette know that it's no big deal.
Beca knows now is not the time to say more, but she wants to at least get it on the calendar. It's real then, and she can't make an excuse to put it off; well not as easily, maybe. She looks Chloe in the eyes and starts to say, "Maybe we could…"
Chloe's iPhone alarm goes off. "Ugh… Sorry Becs, I have to go, or I'm going to be late".
Shocked by the sudden turn of events, it takes a second for Beca to respond. "Oh, okay, I should really get going too. Sam's waiting in her car."
Chloe looks at her, trying to discern what just happened. She could see the emotions playing across Beca's face, but was unable to get a good read. "Did you want to say something more?"
Beca shakes her head and says over her shoulder as she leaves, "We can talk about it later."
Chloe studies her, then smiles and asks, "See you this afternoon?'
Beca nods as she answers, "Count on it."
Beca leans against the filing cabinets that sit against the back wall of her office and carefully inserts the folders, Aubrey has painstakingly put together for her, into the appropriate alphabetized place holders. Aubrey and Stacie had spent an afternoon creating this system to help keep Beca organized.
The petite DJ knows she would be lost without it.
For a moment she feels like everything's going smoothly and maybe, just maybe, she is going to be able to take control of this week, and make it better.
"How are things coming along, Reggie?"
Beca's shoulders slump. She knows J Michael coming to see her is not going to help her get control of her day. "Fine, J Michael," Beca replies, even as she continues to put away the files in her hand.
"I'm beat," J Michael announces. "These past couple of weeks have been seriously busy, haven't they?"
Beca has to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She's pretty sure her boss has no idea just how busy things have been.
He must notice, because he says, "I do know, and I am sorry Reggie. I've been running you pretty ragged lately." He flashes his best smile. "Tell you what; as compensation, why don't you come in late tomorrow, say around noon. Treat yourself to a little sleeping in."
"Oh, that'd be great," Beca replies, actually kind of touched at J Michael's concern.
J Michael's smile grows. "Now are you ready for the photo-shoot?"
Beca's face shows her confusion. "Excuse me, my what?"
"Your photo shoot." The taller man says, his face mirroring her confusion. He says, "You know, we're creating a PR campaign to hype you up."
The petite woman answers hesitantly, "Umm, yeah, it's been mentioned…."
The salesman smile is back on J Michael's face. "Well the photo shoot is this afternoon."
"What? What photo shoot?" Beca asks incredulously.
"The one this afternoon, for the PR campaign."
Shaking her head Beca says, "I haven't been told about any photo shoot."
Her boss looks over his shoulder and calls, "Sam! Could you come here?"
"You know we have an intercom," Beca says as she points to her desk.
"You do?"
"Yeah, you insisted we put it in," Beca answers truthfully.
"Does sound familiar, now that you mention it. Still, there's something liberating about sticking your head out into the hallway and shouting." He holds up a finger asking for a second. He leans out into the hallway and shouts. "Dax! Get in here! You too, Sam!"
J Michael holds his finger up again, indicating to Beca she's to remain quiet. The smile on her bosses face letting her know he's enjoying himself. Exactly twelve seconds after shouting, Dax comes flying into Beca's office, looking out of breath, disheveled, and wholly terrified. Another twenty seconds pass before Sam strolls in, steno pad in hand, pen ready to take notes.
"Thank you for joining us, Sam," says J Michael. "So nice of you to join us." His sarcasm just dripping from his every word.
Beca is impressed as the young blonde woman looks her boss directly in the eyes, smiles warmly, and in very Chloe like fashion replies, "Sure, no problem." She doesn't lower her eyes as she stands waiting, not letting J Michael intimidate her. Beca is proud of her young hire.
Dax on the other hand can't stand the silence, and jumps in. "What do you need J Michael?" He directs the question directly to Beca's boss; pointedly ignoring Beca.
J Michael ignores Dax, and asks Sam, "What time is Reggie's photo shoot this afternoon?"
Without consulting anything, Sam answers, "Beca doesn't have a photo shoot this afternoon."
"And where…" J Michael is caught off guard by Sam's response. He goes back to asking Sam about the photographer. "You know, the photographer who is going to take the glamour shots of our hot little DJ here."
Sam purses her lips, shakes her head no, and states confidently, "Beca doesn't have any meetings on her schedule."
J Michael looks both perplexed and irritated. "What do you mean she doesn't have a photo shoot scheduled for this afternoon?"
Beca thinks about jumping in, but Sam answers confidently, and nonplussed by J Michael's demeanor. "I've not been informed of any such event, have not received a single invitation or query. This is the first I'm being told about it."
J Michael begins to pace about. "That can't be, I talked to Francois myself, and then I had Dax…" J Michael breaks off and glares at his nephew, who does cringe under his gaze. "Dax, tell me you finished making the preparations for the photo shoot?"
"Oh I did J Michael. Exactly as you asked." Dax is nodding as he answers. Relief that he got this right, clear and evident on his facial features.
"So how does Reggie her not know about it?"
"Umm," Dax goes mute.
"How has Sam not heard anything about this, and does not have it on Beca's calendar?"
"Uhh," Dax looks about, he's sweating profusely now. "I never sent them an email with details…."
"You never informed the subject of the photo shoot that her presence would be needed?"
"Uhh, no," Dax fumbles out. He's suddenly not sure what to do with his hands.
"You didn't send Reggie the details of the assignment, so she could prepare?"
"Nnnoo," Dax drags out his words, with the hope of blocking out any more revelations.
"How then did you complete what I assigned to you?"
"Your instructions didn't include any mention of contacting Beca or Sam…" Dax stops talking as he sees the anger rising in his uncle.
"So this is my fault?" J Michael dramatically places his hand on his chest. This is my fault that Reggie isn't prepared for an important activity this afternoon?"
"Uhh yea-nooo," Dax quickly corrects himself. He turns to Beca and says, "Oh my God, Beca, I'm so sorry!" Dax stammers. "I-I just- I forgot- please don't hurt me, or make me run laps, these skinny jeans are really tight," Dax actually cringes backwards.
Beca is shocked by what she's been witnessing. She realizes Dax and J Michael are now waiting for her to intercede. "Umm, yeah, yeah they are. No more skinny jeans for you. Your dress code is officially business casual until further notice."
"You can't be serious," whines Dax.
Beca almost rescinds her punishment as she watches Dax's face crumble into sadness. He is such a lost puppy in the business. She notes the bemused look on Sam's face, and an idea pops into her head. "Yeah, yeah I am; and you'll report every morning to Sam, who will judge if you are dressed work appropriate." Beca almost smiles as she watches Sam's face drop nearly as low as Dax's. However she's setting precedent on how she's going to run things. "At that point Sam will give you your assignments for the day."
Sam's face lights up at this news; Dax's falls further. "You want me to report to the receptionist?"
"My assistant, and yep," Beca says in a strong voice. "Every morning." When she sees he's going to object, she cuts him off, "And every afternoon you will report back to Sam on your progress for the day." She holds up her index finger in a manner quite similar to J Michael had done earlier. It has the desired effect, Dax remains silent. "And if you don't like it, you can return back to Atlanta with J Michael when he goes back."
Dax's eyes are round with indignation and fear. They flick back and forth between Beca and her boss. After a couple heartbeats, the young man drops his head and nods. Beca smiles in triumph, she turns to Sam, take Dax here and wring him for everything he knows about today's photo shoot; time, place, what they are expecting, do I need to bring clothes."
"You got it boss," says Sam as she writes down her notes.
"Don't call me boss," she grumbles good naturedly to her blonde assistant. Fixing Dax with an intense glare, "You, help her to fix your screw up."
"You got it Beca," Dax answers, trying to regain his composure.
Beca points her index finger at the taller man. "You!" She brings her finger to within a centimeter of the tip of his nose. "Call me boss," she commands.
Dax looks like he's going to pass out. Sam takes pity on him and ushers the young man out. She gives Beca a smile and a wink, and assures her that she'll get everything sorted out for the photo shoot.
J Michael looks at her impressed. "You're better than I thought you would be."
"Umm, thanks."
"Kill it at the photo shoot." He turns about and heads out of Beca's office. "Good job today, Reggie!" He calls out over his shoulder, as he keeps walking.
Beca allows herself a small, kind of proud smile.
Chloe let out a long sigh as she thumbs the button to hang up her phone. She bites at her lip and glances at the clock on the wall. "Let's get going,"she says a little dejected. She can't help wondering why she had thought Beca would make this.
Stacie asks, "Was that Beca?"
Chloe merely nods in regret.
"Where's Beca? Isn't she coming with us?" Emily asks. The younger woman looks at Chloe hopefully.
"Her work gave her a new assignment, so no." Chloe answers as she picks up her purse. Her disappointment is clear in her crisp formal movements. "Something about a photo shoot."
"Oh a photo shoot! That must be exciting," Emily say in delight.
"For everyone save the hobbit," says Aubrey. Though the blonde's smile betrays how happy she actually is for the younger DJ.
"But our hot little DJ is going to rock it, right Chloe?" Stacie asks, flashing the redhead a happy smile, and a wink.
Aubrey glances towards her best friend and recognizes Chloe is desperately trying to cover her disappointment. Bree quickly decides to help cover for her by changing the subject. "We should get going. We'll catch up with Beca later, and she can tell us all about it." Aubrey tries to keep her voice light and good nature.
"Yeah, sounds good," agrees Stacie, also reading the situation. "We need to get Bree some furniture."
"Yeah, I need a new bed," says Aubrey as she pulls the door to her apartment closed.
"Oh no, we are not getting you a bed at IKEA," says Stacie emphatically.
"Why not?" Aubrey asks incredulously.
"I've broken eleven of them and, I'm not making it an even dozen," answers Stacie.
"How did you break the beds?" Emily asks innocently. Bree and Stacie give the younger girl a look.
"Honey, I don't think you really want to know," Chloe cautions her younger friend.
"Oh?" Emily looks over to Stacie, who smiles mischievously and winks. "Oh!" The young woman blushes.
"So no bed from IKEA," Aubrey says flatly as she heads towards the van she had rented for the day. She pointedly ignores Chloe's questioning look.
Chloe softly chuckles as she follows. She recognizes that she's envious of Stacie and how the tall brunette's so free and open. She loves that tall friend is so willing to put herself out there for someone she obviously has feelings for. Willing to be there for her someone special.
A thought strikes Chloe, and she realizes she needs to return to her apartment for a minute. Acting quickly she starts back for her apartment, calling out to Aubrey, "Hey I forgot to do something in my apartment. Start the car, I'll be right back."
Chloe hears her friends all asking where's she going, and without breaking stride she calls over her shoulder, "I just forgot to do something, it'll only take a few minutes. Be right back."
With that Chloe races up to her apartment.
Beca walks into the apartment and automatically calls for Chloe, before remembering she and the other girls were out on an IKEA shopping trip. She pauses as she feels a mixture of guilt, longing, and disappointment. As much as she hates shopping, she wishes she could have gone with the girls. It would sure as hell beat the idea of being the subject of a photo shoot. She releases a dramatic sigh, and makes her way into the kitchen.
Beca's really not into getting her picture taken, hate might be an accurate word for her feelings on it. She's especially not into this situation, where she'll be the sole focus. It's embarrassing for her and it makes her feel uncomfortable.
Which is why she's home now.
Sam had told her they would have clothes for her at the photo shoot, but the thought of wearing some other random's clothing gives her the willies. If she has to do this, she's wearing her clothes, that she's comfortable in. So she had sent Sam to meet with the photographer, while she Ubered it home to get some clothes.
She wishes Chloe was here. She wishes she had thought to invite her adorable weirdo to come along.
Beca knows she should have invited her best friend to come along. This is something right up her best friend's alley. She really could use the bubbly redhead at a time like this.
Beca knows this would be so much easier with the redhead by her side. Chloe always knows just what Beca should wear. She always knows how to make Beca comfortable in her own skin. A slight blush creeps up on Beca's cheeks as she realizes, Chloe always makes her feel beautiful. Which is hard to fathom since she feels like such a plain-Jane when compared to Chloe Beale's natural beauty.
There has always been the slightly flirty remarks, the good-natured teasing, pretty much from the moment they met; but it was something about Chloe's eyes that made Beca believe she might just be beautiful, Chloe's deep blue eyes, just held some special light for Beca, and sparkled in a way that she knew was just for her.
She wonders how she could have been so stupid?
She scolds herself for not asking Chloe to come along. She's pretty certain the redhead would have.
Beca is pulled from her grumpy thoughts by the sight of the bright pink post-it note on the counter.
Beca had learned in her sophomore year that Chloe had discovered post-it notes at an early age, and thought they were just the most adorable means of communication. She knows they were originally intended for note-taking and study purposes, but Chloe had seemed to think they were better used for encouraging messages to all the Bellas, especially Beca. Thus Chloe had stuck them everywhere, all through their years in the Bellas house, and this practice had continued in their apartment.
Beca shakes her head, and chuckles to herself, as she looks down at the note. Picking it up, the DJ can't help the tug at the corner of her lips. Chloe had doodled a picture of a star wearing shades. It had just a short inscription.
'Beca, you're a Rockstar!'
'Have a GREAT Time at the photo shoot'
A second pink post-it notes attached to the bottom of the first. It has just a short message.
'Check your room'
The DJ's face scrunches in question, unsure of what her silly best friend is up too.
Still Beca quickly makes her way to her room, pausing at the door, where another bright pink post-it note is attached at eye-level. She smirks at the message.
'Bummed U can't join us'
The message is accompanied by a sad emoji, and Beca finds herself feeling the same way. Opening the door she sees several outfits laying on her bed, with another pink post-it note prominently sitting on top of the center outfit.
'Figured U wouldn't know what to wear, so I laid out 3 suggestions'
'Hope you like!
Beca smirks as she thinks, she will of course will like them. Chloe has amazing taste in clothes, and knows just what works for her.
Picking up the first is a blue and black plaid shirt, paired with a brand new white tee, and black skinny jeans. It's a favorite. Next to it is her black suit jacket, that Chloe says accentuates her figure in all the right ways.
Beca finds herself wondering what she would do without Chloe. Then shakes her head not wanting to know the answer. She grabs the gym bag that's been left on her bed, and quickly starts packing the clothes Chloe has left her. She already knows they're perfect.
Aubrey, Emily, and Chloe each carry a bag or box into Aubrey's new apartment, as they return from their trip to IKEA. Stacie is helpfully holding the door open.
"So, you going to help me or not?" Aubrey asks in a rather commanding tone as she carries a heavy box into her new living room.
"I'm exhausted," says Stacie, in answer.
"How is it that possible? Chloe, Emily and I've carried almost all the boxes so far," Aubrey says with an edge of exasperation.
"Watching you work up a sweat has my imagination running a mile a minute," Stacie deadpans.
Chloe giggles as Aubrey's already flushed skin turns crimson. The redhead's giggles turn into full throated laughter as Emily immediately does an about-face and exits the apartment, not even remembering to set down the box she's carrying.
"You may have broken Legacy Stacie," observes the redhead.
"Oh she's being a big baby. When you go to IKEA you're supposed to get ideas for your home," answers the tall brunette, flicking her hair in dismissal.
"Yes Stacie, but most people are trying to determine what furniture fits in your home," answers Aubrey in exasperation. "Not how much weight the pieces can hold, or what positions a couple can achieve on, in, or against."
Stacie waves this away. "Well that's just being practical."
Chloe snorts a stifled laugh. Aubrey's skin seems to have taken on a permanent shade of red. "I'm not sure all the personal demonstrations were necessary…"
Stacie fixes the blonde a look, and answers, "And yet you didn't tell me to stop." The tall brunette stands challengingly, visibly daring the blonde to deny it.
Aubrey recognizes the challenge from her younger friend, and knows Stacie is correct. She decides a change of subject is in order. "You do know since you didn't carry anything, it means you have to help me put all this together," says Aubrey. She stands there with her hands on her hips, surveying the boxes from IKEA, that are stacked in front of her. Each box is labelled with its contents, which are waiting to be distributed around the apartment.
Stacie grins knowing she's won, "You mean I get to stay here, with you, alone with various tools? Count me in."
Chloe reaches over and closes Aubrey's jaw, "I'm going to find Legacy and make sure she hasn't left the building." Says Chloe as she points to the door.
"Are we going to see Beca at ClubExchange tonight?" Emily asks over the pizza.
"I'm pretty tired, and have things to do tomorrow, so I'm leaning towards no," answers Aubrey.
"I'm with Bree," adds Stacie.
"What do you have to do in the morning?" Emily asks. "I thought you told me you're free tomorrow."
"Oh I am. I meant exactly what I said; I'm with Bree. Wherever she is, I am."
"Is this like revenge for your freshman year? Is that what you're doing?" Bree asks, honesty perplexed by the tall brunette's antics.
"It's definitely not revenge Bree, but I can assure you I started thinking about this back then," Stacie replies in a sultry voice.
Aubrey tries to clear her throat, she rises saying she needs more water. Stacie follows, offering to help.
Emily and Chloe giggle together as they hear the other two women continue to go back and forth.
"What about you Chloe?" The younger Bella asks, turning to the redhead.
"I don't think so, Emily. I'm not feeling it," Chloe says as she shakes her head. The redhead can feel the disappointment radiating from her young friend.
"Come on Chloe. It's been forever since you went," Emily pleads.
Chloe feels the tug of the younger woman's puppy dog eyes, and she feels her determination breaking.
Sensing Chloe's wavering resolve, Emily tries to make a final push. "Come on it will be fun. I'll be there, with Benji, and Jesse and his buddies are going to be there. It'll be fun," Emily argues.
The news that Jesse is planning to be there has the exact opposite effect on Chloe. There's no way she wants to be at ClubExchange and watch Jesse monopolize all of Beca's time. With a shake of her head, Chloe rises from the floor and says, "I can't Emily. I need to be up in the morning." Before Emily can argue more, Chloe disappears into her room.
"We're heading out Chloe," Aubrey says, leaning into Chloe's room.
"Did Emily convince you and Stacie to go to the club?" Chloe asks, looking up from her book. The redhead sounds almost small in her question, and Bree can hear the loneliness in her voice. The blonde can see her friend biting at the inside of her cheek, watching how the skin is sucked in and twitching.
Aubrey shakes her head in the negative. "No, she left about fifteen minutes ago. She did want to ask you if wanted to go again, but I convinced her you really needed your rest."
Chloe sits up and moves her body into a sitting position against the headboard of her bed.
"Thanks Bree, I'm sure she'll have more fun without me there," Chloe lets out a shaky breath, her face resting in a frown.
Her blonde friend shakes her head as she crosses the room, and sits herself next to her best friend. "I don't think so, she's only going because Benji is being compelled to go."
Chloe's head jerks up in surprise. "What does that mean?"
"Benji isn't really getting along with Jesse's new friends." The look on Aubrey's face says everything she feels about Jesse's USC friends. "He's the outsider. So Emily's going to be there to support him."
"That's sweet," sighs Chloe.
"It's probably best you didn't go with her," Bree says, putting an arm around her.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because if you went, Emily would feel compelled to stay. Now she'll want to leave a lot sooner. I know for a fact a couple of those guys have made passes at her. The sooner she's extricated Benji, the better."
"Oh," says Chloe. She reaches over and grabs her mobile. "Give me a second." Her thumb slides over the screen as she scrolls over her contact list. Stopping at the right one, Chloe quickly types out a message.
She looks up and sees Bree giving her a quizzical look, but can see her blonde friend biting back her questions that blossom at her lips. Holding up her phone, Chloe says, "I texted Lily." This causes Aubrey to arch an eyebrow and repeat the unnerving Bella's name back in question.
Chloe smiles, "Yeah, she'll keep an eye on Emily for me. Make sure that nothing untoward happens to either Emily or Benji." There's a hint of devilishness in Chloe's eyes.
Bree releases a breath she wasn't aware she was holding.
"I will never understand you, Chloe Beale. I don't think, scratch that, I know I've never met anyone with as big a heart as you." Now it's Chloe's turn to look at her friend quizzically. "Yet you seem to be holding back letting your heart be free. Why aren't you out there, letting yourself be loved?"
Chloe bites her lip, not wanting to admit the truth, but this is Bree, and she has a hard time keeping the truth from her. She sighs and shrugs, before straightening and allowing her expression to turn upbeat once more. "I will be, don't worry Bree. I have a feeling sooner than you might think."
"Do you have your eye on anyone?" Aubrey asks.
Chloe lets out a strained chuckle, "It doesn't matter. It was just a dream."
Aubrey turns to look at Chloe, her eyes crinkling at the corners. The look on her best friend's face broke Bree's heart. It is truly perplexing to Aubrey, the question of how someone as wonderful as Chloe Beale is not in a loving relationship. Why the redhead has for all intents and purposes taken herself out of the game.
Aubrey continues to stare at Chloe with a somber expression on her face, before the blonde's face softens. She tilts her head up slightly as she's working out what is really going on in Chloe's mind. Unable to handle her best friend's glare, Chloe drops her eyes down to her hands, as she continues to play with her thumb ring.
The blonde frowns, the redhead seems to be lost in her own head. "It's okay, you know" Bree whispers, hating seeing her best friend this way.
"I know, it's just hard."
"You know I'm always here for you, right?"
"I know Bree," Chloe sighs.
"Should I stay?"
"No, I'll be okay. Don't keep Stacie waiting,"
"She'll keep. I don't think I can push her away even if I tried," says Aubrey with a chuckle and a shake of her head.
Chloe looks at her, her eyes round with curiosity. "Do you?"
"Do I, what?" Bree asks, perplexed by the question.
"Do you want to try?" Chloe asks. When Aubrey still looks at her perplexed, Chloe clarifies, "Do you want to try pushing Stacie away?"
Chloe notes the touch of red that colors her best friend's cheeks and ears, and the shy smile Aubrey is definitely trying to hide. "You don't, do you?" The redhead pushes.
"No…." Bree breathes it out more than answering out loud. She drops her eyes, but then seems to think better of it, and raises her eyes to meet Chloe's.
Of course all she sees is the biggest grin the world has ever seen. The blonde can tell her best friend is fighting to contain a shout of joy, and suddenly Aubrey feels more confident in her feelings. She returns Chloe's smile, though it's more shy and reserved.
Unknown to Aubrey though, her friend's smile is partially a mask. Chloe is truly happy for her best friend, and Stacie. The blonde and brunette are really great together, and she wishes them nothing but love and happiness. But it's also a sad reminder that she doesn't have someone who will put herself out there for her. She doesn't blame Beca, it's her own fault for falling for a straight woman, who has been in a deeply committed relationship. Which is why she knows she's not lying to Aubrey when she says she's going to be moving on soon. Just first, she'll bear the burden; she loves Beca Mitchell, and that means Chloe will take whatever time she has with her tiny DJ, and treasure it forever.
Knowing she can't keep up this pretence of happiness for too long, Chloe decides to redirect her friend, "Well even if you're not going to push the very sexy Ms Conrad away, it doesn't mean you should leave her hanging on." Aubrey gives her a look, with one eyebrow raised. Chloe giggles and gives a gentle shove. "Go get your girl."
The blonde can't help asking, "Are you sure?"
Chloe's in full acting mode now. "Of course." She lifts her book, "I'm just going to finish this chapter, and then get some sleep."
Aubrey sighs and gets up. "I'll see you tomorrow at practice?"
"Of course Bree."
Reluctantly Aubrey makes her way to the door. "Aubrey?" Chloe calls out to her best friend, just as she opens the door.
"Yeah, Chloe?"
"Thanks," she says. Her voice was soft.
Aubrey gives the redhead a sad yet tender, and gentle smile . "Of course."
Chloe sits for a few moments before picking up her book, but after three minutes of fruitless attempts at reading, she tosses it aside and lays down on her side, feeling more alone than ever before.
"Hey Beca!"
Beca turns from her preparations and smiles at her younger friend "Legacy!" She allows the taller girl to engulf her in a hug. "I'm so glad you came.
"This is amazing Beca! This is my first time on the DJ platform." Emily's voice is extra high in her excitement.
The DJ snickers at her younger friend's obvious giddiness. Looking down at the dance floor she can't see the distinctive red curls of her best friend. "Where are the others? Is Chloe here?"
"Oh, sorry, Chloe and Aubrey had early mornings," Emily says, a bit apologetically. "They couldn't make it."
The words seem to hit the tiny DJ like a blow; Beca looks so crestfallen, she quickly bows her head to hide her face.
"Are you okay?" Emily asks; suddenly very concerned for her idol and mentor. She steps forward and places a hand on the smaller DJ's shoulder. Beca lifts her head, and forces a smile, but Emily knows it's one of the DJ's masks; it's easy to see that the smile doesn't reach Beca's gray-blue eyes. Emily wishes she could say the right thing, or know how to get past her friend's walls, but as close as they are, as they have become, it's not her place. She finds herself really wishing Chloe was here. Chloe always knows what to say to the tiny DJ, how to get past her defenses, how to make Beca right.
She hears Beca assure her that everything is okay, and Emily knows it's no use pushing anymore; only Chloe is able to get Beca to open up once the petite brunette puts up one of her infamous walls. Emily decides then to change the subject. Looking around, the taller woman takes on a more serious look, and asks, "Can Benji and I hang out here tonight?"
Beca genuinely seems surprised by this question, and she's silent, not answering. The silence between the two women stretches until Emily is worried she overstepped herself and so goes to apologize. "I'm sorry, I just thought it might be okay…."
"What? Oh…" Beca seems even more befuddled by Emily's apology. "No, it's okay, it's just I thought you were going to ask…" The DJ pauses, then smiles reassuringly. "You know what, never mind, it doesn't matter. Of course you and Benji can stay up here."
Emily knows that Beca has slipped on another mask for her, but she doesn't care, she sweeps her smaller friend up into a firm embrace as she squeals a "Thank you!"
"Ugh! Get off me you big weirdo," Beca pushes her taller friend off her, but the curl of her lips tell the truth. "You have definitely spent too much time with Chloe." Beca chuckles, and Emily know's she's seeing a mask, because the DJ's eyes are definitely sad. The DJ tilts her head, and looks a little perplexed, though she tries to keep her voice light as she asks, "Why do you want to be up here anyway? Don't you want to be downstairs dancing your cute butt off?"
Emily looks rather abashed, and she studies her foot, which is currently kicking at the floor of the platform. "Actually, I-we don't really want to be around Jesse's new buddies…."
Beca holds up her hands, "Say no more." The sound of Beca's voice conveys that she has similar feelings for Jesse's new friends.
A smile splits Emily's face as she says, "We both would really like to enjoy the music without having to dodge them."
"I totally get it. You two are my official guests up here for the night. Go grab Benji, and let Rob, the bouncer at the bottom of the stairs, that only you and Benji are allowed up here tonight."
"Really Beca?"
"Yep," Beca pops the 'P' as she nods.
Emily gives a cheerful squeal, claps her hands excitedly, and disappears back down the steps, leaving a very bemused Beca shaking her head.
The lights dim, and the crowd quiets in anticipation, waiting for Beca to start. Beca let the last song fade out, and silence to descend on the dance floor. The crowd notices the silence, and go quiet too. It's as if they can feel what the DJ is doing, and want to be a part of it. Beca flicks the knob and the low strong beat of her first song starts in the background. It matches her mood; starting low and slow. It is unusual for her, it's unusual for anyone, but as it picks up, the people on the dance floor start moving with the rhythm and their voices raise in cheer to the song.
Watching the crowd start to hop and jump to the music she's playing, keeping the beat, creates a warm feeling in Beca's chest. It's always a pleasure to watch the crowd as they sync to the beat, because it means she's doing her job right.
A major part of being a DJ is how she plays the beat. She knows when to slow it down, or speed it up. She knows when to mix different beats in it, and where to drop an extra. It's not every DJ that can do this, but she can, and it fills her with passion. She can feel the tingle in her soul. It's almost like she becomes one with the music.
It doesn't matter what she's playing, she made it her own, changed it to meet her desires, it is hers now. This is why Beca does this, to show her absolute love for music, show what she can do with it.
Usually by now Beca would be lost in the music, but today she can't. There's something missing. It's been missing for the last couple weeks, and it's been growing.
Beca doubles down, trying harder to lose herself into the music. It's just not working. There are always moments during her performances where Beca can forget she's in a club, in a large room crowded with moving bodies, as she submerges herself into her music. It's almost as if she becomes one with the sound.
But today she can't.
Emily leans into Benji as she watches the way the shorter brunette dances to her own music and grins at her good friend. He looks down at her as he pulls her in close and they share a smile.
Looking back to her friend, Emily smiles. She's glad to see the DJ losing herself in her music. Beca had seemed a little off earlier, but between the music and the energy of the crowd, the DJ seems to be loosening up, which makes Emily happy. She doesn't like to see Beca sad or out of sorts. She doesn't know how to handle her.
She had been so concerned that she had actually thought about calling Chloe, and begging the redhead to come. She knows Chloe had not wanted to come, but she knows if she had told her that something was really bothering Beca, the redhead would have been here in minutes.
Now though, Beca is back to her normal self, putting on an amazing performance. The taller woman enjoys how fluid the tiny DJ is in her movements, and how amazing her stage presence is. Even adjusting the knobs on her control board is somehow still in rhythm. Beca is a star, just waiting to happen. Getting this rare glimpse of watching Beca up close, just proves it to the younger Bella.
Emily decides maybe she was worried about nothing earlier. Maybe she had just seen Beca's pre-performance jitters. There's no way Beca could be putting on such a show, if something was still bothering her.
Emily's just glad to see Beca is in full performance mode, and that her worry was for nothing.
Beca looks down at the mass of people down on the dance floor, and feels alone. Lights dance across the crowd, accentuating the movements of their bodies as they sway to her mixes, but she can't really feel their energy.
Beca has always loved being in this position, where she can watch the crowd. It allows her to be among the club goers, but not have to be in the mix. Up here she can be alone with only those who truly mean something to her, and of course the music. But the one she truly wants next to her isn't here; again.
She sways to the music, her left hand holding her headphones in place as she listens to the adjustments she's making with the right hand. She's trying to lose herself in what she's always loved most, music, but something is keeping her from fully being able to immerse herself.
Or someone.
The music is loud and pulsating, reverberating off the walls back into her. She loves that feeling. The music just vibrating through her every fiber of her being. She's always felt that without her music she would be truly lost, but now she's realizing there's something else she can't live without.
Someone.
Beca looks at the crowd before her and realizes she's never felt so alone.
A/N: Thanks for reading another chapter. I'm not happy with this ending, but I needed to get it out.
I'm sorry to those who are not happy with the slow burn, but there are a few things that need to happen. For those who are reading must remember that this story is happening over only a few weeks, while writing has taken forever. Sorry, life gets in the way.
I also want to remind people, Beca's been in a longtime relationship, and has seen herself as straight. She's dealing with two major obstacles, a relationship with someone she does love, and what is her sexual orientation.
Song: Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone
One good thing, I've been writing so much, there will not be such s big break.
Take care everyone.