A/N: Rafael and Noah have a chat about the boy's behaviour at the end of S20 E02.

I still stand by my comments in the first chapter that the events of the Undiscovered Country didn't happen in this universe. But I'm using artisitc license to imagine the events after that episode as if Barba was still with the DA's office and still working with SVU. Hope that makes sense.

September 2018 (2)

Rafael Barba entered the lobby of East Side Elementary School trying not to feel self-conscious. He'd collected Noah from school before, but never on his own. Olivia was always with him which meant he hadn't really noticed how out of place he looked. The other adults were waiting to collect children were all female. The majority were young females too, nannies he assumed, but there were a couple who were a little older and more likely to be mothers or grandmothers. He was just thankful he wasn't dressed for court; that would make him stand out even more. No, the jeans and casual sweater he was wearing definitely helped him appear less conspicuous.

He didn't have much time to linger on how his presence might appear, because the bell rang, and the main door opened to reveal a line of children, Noah right at the front.

"Uncle Rafa!" The youngster's face lit up at the sight of his favourite uncle and he ran over, dragging his school bag behind him.

Despite the serious conversation that Rafael knew had to come, he couldn't help but smile at the boy's reaction to seeing him in the school yard. "Hola, mi amigo," he greeted, bending down and enveloping him in a hug.

Pulling back, Noah looked at him curiously. "Why are you picking me up? Where's Lucy?"

"I missed you while I was away, so I thought I'd surprise you." It wasn't a lie, he had missed the boy while he'd been away at the National Sexual Assault Conference and had always planned to surprise him by picking him up from school, but the purpose of the gesture had become two-fold after his late-night conversation with Olivia last night.

He was lying on his hotel bed when the call came. He'd called her about twenty minutes earlier, asking if it was okay to talk. She'd told him she was just putting Noah to bed – he was currently in the bathroom doing his teeth – and would call him back once her son was asleep.

"Hi," he greeted happily. He was missing her more than he'd thought he would, given the fact that they'd only been in a relationship for six months. But they had seen each other pretty much daily for the last few years, so despite it only being a three-day conference – five if you included travel time – it was a major difference in their routine.

"Hey."

Rafael's brow furrowed at the deadened tone of her voice. "You okay?"

"He pushed me."

"Who? A perp?"

"Noah," she replied with a soft sniffle.

Rafael sat forward, unable to comprehend what his girlfriend was telling him about the sweet little boy he knew. "What?"

"He didn't want to go to bed," Olivia explained. "I told him he didn't have a vote and he pushed me."

"I'm sure he didn't mean it, Liv. He probably just caught you by accident."

"No. This was… deliberate. He stepped forward and pushed me with both hands."

"Shit. What did you do?"

"I sent him straight to bed and told him we'd talk about it in the morning. I told him I loved him and he… he didn't say it back."

"Oh, Liv." The pain in her voice almost broke him but he knew he had to hold it together. "He does love you. You know he does. He's just tired and clearly angry. It'll pass. You'll be getting your usual exuberant wake up call in the morning, I'm sure."

"We'll see."

They spent another half an hour on the phone, Olivia sharing her fears about Noah's behaviour and the stress of balancing work and being a parent, Rafael assuring her that she was doing an amazing job, that this was just a blip, while wishing he was there to wrap his arms around her and hold her as she cried.

Before they hung up, they brainstormed a strategy for how Olivia was going to deal with Noah's behaviour in the morning. But after the call had ended, Rafael lay awake for a while going over things in his head. He and Olivia were a team now and, while no discussions had taken place about his role in Noah's life, Rafael knew that this relationship was it for him; he didn't plan on having another, which meant that eventually he was going to be Noah's parent. Maybe it was time to start acting like it in more ways than reading bedtime stories and helping with homework.

Noah and Rafael walked hand-in-hand towards the park, Noah happily chatting away about his day. As the playground came into view, Noah increased his pace and began tugging Rafael in the direction of the gate.

"Not so fast, mi amigo," Rafael told him, slowing to a halt and bending down to the boy's level. "Before we play, you and I need to have a little chat about last night."

Noah's face fell as he realised his mom had told Rafael about his actions. As his uncle led them towards a nearby bench, the little boy seemed to find the cracks in the sidewalk extremely interesting.

Taking his seat, Rafael patted the bench next to him and Noah reluctantly joined him.

"Now, I just have one question and I expect you tell me the truth, okay? I know you know the difference between the truth and lying, don't you?"

Noah nodded slowly.

"Right, good. So, here's my question. Why did you push your mom?"

A few moments of heavy silence were followed by a shrug.

"Noah," Rafael pressed, his tone harsher than before.

"I was mad at her, okay?!" Noah wasn't used to Rafael being the disciplinarian. He was always the fun Uncle, the one who goofed out with him, who bought him presents and let him eat cookie AND ice-cream, when his mom would have made him choose between the two.

Rafael wasn't revelling in this new role either, but he knew he couldn't let Noah's actions go unaddressed. While he was sure Olivia had dealt with it that morning, he wanted to reinforce that his behaviour was unacceptable. Both adults had fought against the demons of angry, violent biological parents and the possibility that they would turn out like them and, as much as they would say they didn't believe that violence was genetic, there were moments – like this one – that frightened them. So, Rafael needed to know, just as he was sure Olivia did, that he had done everything in his power to try and overpower even the slightest chance that Noah's genetic make-up had played a part in the events of the previous night.

"I know that, amigo," Rafael told him, modulating his tone – it was obvious the boy had been angry, "but why?"

"I didn't want to go to bed. I wanted to stay up and talk to you. I heard her on the phone and she said she'd ring you back when I was asleep, but I missed you and I wanted to tell you about my little league game, but she made me go to bed."

Rafael was a little taken aback by the fact that Noah's outburst had been related to him being away at the conference, but he quickly recovered. Placing a hand on Noah's shoulder he gave it a gentle squeeze. "I can understand why that made you angry, but Noah, no matter how angry we get, we can't go around pushing or hurting people. Do you understand that? We have to find another way to deal with our feelings."

The little boy nodded sullenly. "That's what Momma said."

"She's a wise woman," Rafael said, relieved that he'd echoed the messages the boy's mother had passed on. "Now, did you tell your Momma why you didn't want to go to bed?"

He was pretty sure he already knew the answer. If Noah had voiced his wish to speak with him, he was sure Olivia would have mentioned it. Hell, she'd probably have given in and let the boy ring him to say good night, knowing he wouldn't have minded one iota.

Noah shook his head, confirming Rafael's theory.

"Why not?"

Noah shrugged. "I don't know."

For a moment, Rafael wondered if the boy was withholding something, but he'd been honest enough to open up about why he'd lashed out, so he couldn't see why he'd suddenly start lying now.

"I know that when you're mad, it's hard to control yourself, but you need to take a breath and use your words. You need to tell people how you're feeling and why. And y'know what?"

Noah looked up at him, eyes wide. "What?"

"If you do that, there's a far bigger chance that you'll get what you want."

"So, if I'd told Momma I wanted to talk to you, she would have let me?"

"Maybe. Probably. But if people don't know why you're angry they can't help fix it. Do you understand?"

"Yeah." Noah was quiet for a moment. "I made Momma sad," he said quietly, tears pooling in his eyes.

Noah's expression tugged at Rafael's heartstrings – as much as this was a lesson he knew the boy needed to learn, it wasn't easy to be in the position of teaching it, of seeing him upset over his actions. He reached over and pulled Noah onto his lap. "You did, but we can fix it," he assured him. "We'll go to the store and we'll buy ingredients to make dinner for your mom and we can pick up her favourite ice-cream while we're there, yeah?"

Noah nodded. "You always say Momma's ice-cream is silly expensive."

Rafael smiled. "At ten dollars a pint it is, but I think we can overlook that today." He stood and held his hand out for Noah, who took it and shuffled forwards off the bench.

"Can I make Momma a picture while dinner is cooking?" he asked as they walked towards the exit to the park, his plans to play on the playground forgotten in his haste to make things right with his mom.

"Of course you can, mi amigo. I'm sure she'll love it."