A/N: Hello Pitch Perfect Fans!
Sorry it took so long. To be honest, writing the last couple chapters just left me drained. I hope the Bechloe fans like this chapter.
Thank you to BeChloeIsLegit for her continued help and support, you are a true writing friend, and to my other writing friend, I hope you read this, the ending of the chapter was inspired by some of our past messages. I hope you return soon.
To all the readers, I really appreciate the response to this story. It has made writing it so much better.
Thanks to everyone for reading, and please leave more reviews; they really are helpful.
Disclaimer: As always, I do not own any rights to Pitch Perfect or any of the characters, but I do love them.
CHAPTER 31
***Honest Conversations***
Chloe is lying in bed, quite content. She's never been so contented in her life. She woke up a few minutes ago, maybe more, time has become irrelevant, and she's in no hurry to move. She needs another few, at least, before she will be ready to open her eyes.
Part of her fears that this is all a dream, and she's not ready to wake from it.
It's too perfect.
A body shifts against her back, and Chloe smiles. She can't help it. It's not a dream. Beca is there. Beca is the person shifting against her. The petite brunette is the person snuggling close, who has her arm draped protectively over Chloe.
Beca is spooning her, and it feels glorious.
It's not the first time they have slept in the same bed. It's not the first time Chloe has woken up with Beca spooning her. This time is different though.
Before, when Chloe woke to her tiny DJ spooning against her, it was a stark reminder of what Chloe couldn't have. It was always a bittersweet moment.
This morning it's different. This morning it's a message of hope and potential. It's the chance of everything Chloe has ever dreamed of coming true.
Chloe has often dreamed about this moment, about how it would feel to wake next to Beca as something more than friends. Countless times she had pictured in her head how Beca would look waking up. She had always pictured the petite woman with messy morning hair, which just adds a wild sexiness to the beautiful brunette. Chloe had often imagined Beca's stormy blue eyes blinking open slowly. In every dream she's heard Beca's beautiful raspy morning voice speaking to her, a bit slower and deeper than usual as she whispers, "Good morning".
All of this would lead to the moment Beca leans in, and presses a kiss to Chloe's lips. How soft and warm Beca's skin would feel against her as the petite brunette would pull her even closer. She would imagine the way the sun would stream into the room waking them up and wrapping them together under a blanket of warm light. How they would snuggle together under rumpled sheets, and never let go.
Yes, the redhead often dreamed of this moment, and it was always pure bliss.
Feeling Beca move a little closer, hug her a bit tighter, Chloe learns, reality is even better.
Of course, as always, Beca is the big spoon. No matter how they started sleeping, or in what position, when morning comes, it would find Beca spooning Chloe. Chloe wouldn't have it any other way.
It's just the way things are meant to be.
This thought brings a smile to Chloe's lips. She snuggles back more, loving the feel of her petite best friend tight against her. Loving the feeling of Beca's arm draped across her bare stomach.
Chloe can feel Beca's breath on the back of her neck and it tickles the redheaded girl, causing her to shudder with giggles.
She wants to savor this moment that she's dreamed about since… well since barging into the younger woman's shower back at Barden. Maybe even since the moment she had called out to the freshman girl at the activities fair on the quad. A moment in time that has been etched forever in her mind. The alt-girl, who had been sporting a number of tattoos, ear spikes, and a heavy dose of eyeliner. Walking around as if she were too cool to care, yet with just a hint of trepidation, as if a little lost and overwhelmed.
Chloe remembers feeling like she just wanted to go over and give the obvious freshman a hug. Though that might not have gone over well. Beca had been so unapproachable back then. Chloe often wonders if perhaps that's one of the things that drew her to Beca. That the petite alt-girl seemed almost unattainable.
Chloe remembers Hood night, and the Hood Party. She remembers taking Beca by the hands, and leaning close. It was nearly the first time she kissed Beca. At the last second, she had realized what she was about to do, and had instead made a declaration that she was sure they would be fast friends.
She's asked herself, what would have happened if she had kissed Beca that night? Would it have scared Beca off? Would she have responded positively? Was it best that they did become 'fast friends' first, so they could fully develop as friends?
She likes to think Beca would have responded to the kiss, but she's fairly certain, Freshman Beca would have run away as fast as her tiny legs would take her.
When Chloe had stood on that tier of the amphitheater, she couldn't have imagined that she really would become so close with the beautiful petite brunette. She hoped, she prayed, she had worked for it, but she wasn't sure it would happen.
Now they are fast friends, but oh so much more.
In her contentment, Chloe lets her mind wander to the night before,
The ride home in the taxi is quiet. Neither had wanted to wait for an Uber, so instead grabbed the first cab they came across. Neither let's go of the other's hand as they enter the yellow cab. In the same vein, each tuck in to the other, so they are both leaning on one another. Neither wants to relinquish even the smallest of contact with the other.
Both sit quietly, silence feels right at the moment, feels safe. Beca and Chloe are just tired, both mentally and physically. The emotional roller coaster of the previous couple of hours have proven exhausting.
Through it all, despite the drama, Beca can't stop smiling. It's not a huge smile, not a Chloe Beale facing the world smile, but a gentle warm smile that conveys how happy she is. Chloe is wearing the exact same smile.
In relatively short order, the taxi pulls up to their apartment complex, and Beca pays the driver. It takes another minute for the petite brunette to get out of the taxi. Chloe leans against the yellow vehicle while she waits. Her legs feel like she's just run consecutive marathons. Beca finally extricates herself from the cab, and pauses a moment to simply stare at the redheaded woman, who looks sexy-as-Hell, leaning against the car. This sight alone is enough to make Beca's heart aflutter.
With a soft contented sigh Beca steps over to the redhead, wrapping her arms around the taller woman's waist and whispering, "Let's go home."
This simple statement is enough to make Chloe's heart beat faster. Chloe pulls her best friend into her tightly, and leans down pressing their lips together softly. Their kiss is sweet and lingers just long enough to have them pulling back to breathe. Chloe can already tell she simply will never get enough of this with Beca. She has wrapped her arms around the petite brunette's shoulders, and simply breathes her in, before whispering her answer in Beca's ear, "Wherever you go, I go."
Chloe can feel the smaller woman shudder, which only causes Chloe to smile more. She takes Beca's hand in hers, interlocking their fingers, and says, "Shall we?"
"Let's," replies Beca as they walk from the curb, to the entrance to their apartment complex. They continue holding hands, even as they start to ascend the steps to their floor. Neither Beca nor Chloe can imagine ever letting go. Not for the first time, the redhead notices just how perfectly her hand fits with Beca's.
She looks up from their hands, and into the DJ's eyes. She is certain Beca recognizes the same thing.
They make their way up the six flights of stairs in good time, and then along the landing to their apartment, Beca leading the way. The petite brunette turns to look back over her shoulder just as she reaches their door. Chloe beams at her tiny DJ. Beca can feel the redhead's joy radiating off of her.
"Home sweet home," says Beca as she opens the door and holds it for Chloe, and though they have lived there together for months, it strangely feels like they're entering for the very first time.
Chloe enters, Beca right behind, and so collides with her when the redhead spins about. Before the petite brunette can comment on this, or even let out a startled grunt, Chloe's hands are taking either side of Beca's head, holding her steady as the redhead moves in for a kiss.
Everything in the world feels right, as their lips come together. The kiss starts out gently, each woman feeling her way into it. They each cherish this kiss, the gentleness of it, the sweetness of it, the perfection of this kiss. It feels so good, neither awkward nor complicated in any way.
As time passes Chloe can't contain her passion, and begins to pour more into the kiss. She gently nips at Beca's lower lip. Beca lets out a quiet whimper, and Chloe begins to back off a bit. Beca however regains her footing and responds with equal passion.
Beca brings her hand up to cup Chloe's neck, pulls her in to kiss her more deeply, and Chloe melts into the kiss.
It's only the natural need for oxygen that forces the two women to part. Though they remain close enough to rest their foreheads against one another. "I love you," Chloe whispers softly, her smile one of happiness.
"I love you, too," Beca responds immediately.
Beca wakes up warm and content. She doesn't feel like moving yet, she's too comfortable. Beca has always loved taking her time when waking in the morning. There's something quite satisfying about lounging in bed, when she has nothing to do, and she can take her time waking up. When she slowly allows reality to enter her awareness.
This morning she's especially happy to wake up, because she's snuggled up against Chloe. There's nothing better in the world than being snuggled up against Chloe. She doesn't mean to, but really can't help comparing sleeping next to Chloe, with sleeping next to Jesse. Jesse was a snuggler, just like Chloe, but Beca never warmed to it. With Jesse, she felt overheated and constricted. She always needed space.
On the other hand, she's always slept so well against Chloe, even though Chloe is a furnace compared to Jesse. For some reason Beca has never had any trouble being tucked in next to the redhead.
Slowly Beca blinks open her eyes, taking her time to focus on her surroundings. The first thing Beca sees when she's able to focus her eyes is the back of Chloe's head. Her long curly, copper-colored hair is splayed in every direction, like beautiful morning sunrays. Chloe's curls lay around her, while Chloe's body fits perfectly against hers.
The morning light, peaking through the blinds, makes Chloe's curls glow. Beca reaches out to stroke them, feeling their silky texture between her fingers. Beca leans her head forward, slightly, just enough to inhale the scent of Chloe's hair; strawberries and vanilla, with just a hint of floral sweetness, probably lilies.
It's her scent; Chloe's scent. Beca loves it, she inhales deeper, so that it's all she knows. If this isn't heaven, then she doesn't know what is.
The redhead begins to stir. She turns to look at Beca and smiles. Not a shy smile, nor a morning smile. No Chloe's smile is radiant, blinding. It burns itself into Beca's memories, so that it will stay there forever, and she will treasure it always.
Upon entering the apartment, Beca is caught off-guard when Chloe suddenly spins about, and pull Beca in close for a kiss. Arms go around one another, and pull each other tight. It's amazing for Beca to feel Chloe's hands on her. Wherever Chloe's fingertips briefly brush Beca's skin it feels electric.
It seems surreal for Beca, she's running a hand through Chloe's red hair as they continue to kiss. So much drama, so much angst, so much fear over this surprisingly simple, yet glorious act.
Her kiss is hot and a bit desperate, but also liberating, as she finally is giving in to her true desires.
With one hand in Chloe's hair, the other hand wanders down Chloe's back, and around the redhead's ass, and Beca will later swear on a stack of bibles that the hand acted of its own volition as it squeezes Chloe's ass through the thin fabric of her dress. She will also admit she was quite pleased to hears Chloe's breath catch at that moment too.
The kiss comes to an end when they both are forced to breathe. Chloe pulls back far enough to brush their noses together, as she whispers, "I love you."
Beca pulls back a bit breathless. "I love you too," responds Beca once she regains her ability to breath. She's a bit shocked at how dreamy her voice sounds, but she's too happy to care.
With a gentle laugh, Chloe says, "We should get comfy."
"Yeah," Beca still sounds as if she's in a dream. After a moment, though, her brain begins to whir into overdrive. Should she invite Chloe into her room, or follow Chloe into hers? Are they even sleeping in the same room tonight?
"So, you know…" Beca starts, her voice soft, barely above a whisper, "I was thinking we could share a bed tonight, I mean if you want."
Chloe laughs, that full Chloe laugh Beca loves, as she reaches over to brush a strand of Beca's hair out of the way. "Beca Mitchell," Once her laugh settles, Chloe replies in a rather matter-of-fact manner. "Did you really think there was any other option?" The redhead's voice gives a quiet challenge back to the petite brunette.
"W-W-Well you know, I didn't want to assume," Beca furrows her brows. "Ummm, would you like to sleep in my room with me?" Her voice ending in a question, even as she mentally scolds herself for being so nervous.
Chloe answers with a soft smile, "You are so adorable when you get nervous." She places two fingers on Beca's lips, to stop the petite brunette from saying anything more, "And before you ramble on, yes, you are, and always will be adorable to me."
The tiny DJ blushes, but returns Chloe's smile and takes the redhead's hand and leads her to her room. Even as she walks though, she grows nervous. She suddenly begins to wonder what Chloe's expectations are for the rest of the night.
Upon entering Beca's room, Chloe immediately starts to take off her heels, and reaches behind for the zipper on her dress. After a few frustrating attempts, Chloe asks, "Hey Becs, could you get this zipper?" She turns around and pulls her red hair to the side, giving Beca a view of the zipper. She looks over her shoulder and smiles.
It's a beautiful smile, an innocent smile, yet it causes Beca's heartbeat to flutter. She's stupidly happy in this moment. Chloe's smiles always had that power for Beca. It didn't matter how her day had been, Chloe's smiles would always make Beca feel better.
Beca approaches Chloe slowly. The redhead faces forward, and Beca uses the moment to give her hands a quick shake. She hopes to o get rid of the nervous tremble that's made an appearance. It's like whenever she's within a certain radius of Chloe now she can barely contain herself.
As she steps up behind the taller woman, the petite brunette takes a deep breath and then releases it slowly to calm herself.
It works, she feels herself gain a bit of confidence.
Of course, Chloe continues to hold her hair off her neck, so as Beca exhales, her breath dances on exposed skin. Chloe can feel it on the back of her neck and it causes her to shudder.
"Hold still," Beca says as she raised her hand up slowly to the back of Chloe's dress; not realizing what she's doing. Her hands are shaking just a little bit as she takes the zipper into her hand.
Beca leans in a little closer so she can see what she is doing, because it seems there's a clasp too. Her breath again tickles the back of Chloe's neck causing the redhead to shiver a little more with each exhale. It takes a little bit, but Beca finally unclasps the hook, and pulls the zipper down, slowly exposing Chloe's back.
Beca can't help, but let her fingertips gently skim down Chloe's back, marveling at the silky-smooth softness. She can feel Chloe trembling under her fingers, and she's quite proud of herself. The petite DJ is so excited to know she's actually exciting the redhead. What she doesn't realize is that she's underestimating herself, because she's turning Chloe into a quivering mess.
"Are you ok?" Her voice low and husky.
"Yeah," Chloe responds airily. The redhead takes a deep breath to steady herself, steps away from Beca and turns around to face the smaller woman. Suddenly, Beca is drowning in Chloe's bright baby blue eyes that have always had the power to captivate her. She stares into them for what feels like forever before Beca notes Chloe is holding her dress against her chest. Suddenly the thought of how simple it would be for the redhead to drop it, short circuits Beca's brain.
It's like Beca's world has been shaken to its core.
Everything is suddenly moving very quickly for the petite brunette, even as in other ways it's slowing down.
It takes a Herculean effort to tear her eyes away from the redhead. She notices a stack of her laundry piled neatly on her dresser, and reaches for some sleepwear; her eyes never leaving Chloe. A small portion of Beca's consciousness realizes between her schedule, and running away, she hasn't done her laundry in over a month. Even as her fingers grasp a super long Barden shirt she stole from Chloe her sophomore year, she realizes the redhead must have laundered it for her.
"Thanks," whispers Beca as she hands Chloe the shirt. Chloe quirks her right eyebrow in question, so Beca clarifies. "For continuing to support me, even when I wasn't returning the favor."
The look Chloe gives Beca is pure love. "Always."
They again lapse into silence, both savoring the moment, both in awe that it's actually happening.
Chloe follows suit, and begins removing her dress. Beca can't help feeling like a teenage boy as she openly stares at Chloe as the redhead turns and begins to shimmy out of the form-fitting dress. Something about the quick shake of Chloe's hips is totally mesmerizing. It's also causing Beca's temperature to rise. She's really not sure she can handle that.
"Wait!"
Chloe looks over her shoulder, and Beca can't think of anything sexier she's ever seen. Chloe raises an eyebrow in question. Beca mumbles in response, "Do you want any privacy? I can leave if you want."
Chloe chuckles. "Beca, we've seen each other in nothing at all. I think it's okay."
Beca smiles sheepishly, even as a series of very vivid memories flash through her head. The implications of what might be happening begin to seep into Beca's consciousness. It suddenly hits her how everything is moving so quickly.
Too quickly.
She swallows, and realizes Chloe is looking at her, expecting an answer. She doesn't trust her voice, so simply nods her head. Chloe continues to just look at her, so she swallows once more, and croaks out, "Yeah, I guess so." She looks over at the pile of folded clothes, keeping her focus there, as she tries to get a handle on the butterflies fluttering in her chest. It helps to not look at the redhead at the moment. The heat between them, the years of pent up feelings, and her own insecurities are all jumbled, leaving Beca feeling very flustered.
To cover, Beca grabs her sleepwear, a long shirt that she stole from Chloe, and then a pair of boy shorts, and holds them before her, almost as a shield.
Beca expects Chloe to tease her, or say something quite suggestive. She's therefore a little thrown by the lingering silence. It forces her to peek back up at the redhead.
Chloe just looks at her, as if she's contemplating something. She's biting her lower lip, in that way Beca recognizes is the redhead's look when she's truly thinking through something. There is a flash of panic. What if Chloe is changing her mind? No that's crazy, if anything Chloe is thinking about having sex with her. This actually increases Beca's panic. What if Chloe is expecting sex? And what if Beca is bad at it, or says she's not ready, and then Chloe breaks up with her, because she wasn't able to meet Chloe's expectations?
Beca can feel the blood begin to drain from her face, as she feels the spiral of thoughts in her head. She can feel the panic setting in, when Chloe says her name, she doesn't really register it though, and Chloe repeats herself, "Beca?"
Beca refocuses on the redhead, and sees nothing but love and concern. Before Beca can say anything, Chloe is saying, "You know, I do need to take off my makeup, and wash my face, and then brush my teeth."
Beca just blinks at the redhead, trying to pull her thoughts out of the maelstrom going on in her head. Chloe smiles that special smile, that is for Beca only. "So, I'll be right back."
"Oh," Beca replies. "Oh! Yeah. Well, you know," she pauses, "Ummm, dental hygiene is super important, and stuff." She cringes at her awkwardness.
Chloe doesn't seem to mind, she kisses Beca on the cheek as she passes, and goes to the bathroom. Beca smiles and touches her cheek. That simple act, allaying so much worry.
She moves over to the bed, and removes her dress, and carefully hangs it up. She's so glad she had worn this dress tonight, and doubly so because it was the first time she had worn it since purchasing it.
She quickly changes into her sleepwear, listening to Chloe in the bathroom washing her face of her makeup and then brushing her teeth. The two pass each other in the hallway, trading smiles. Beca then quickly brushes her teeth, washes her face, and then with a deep breath returns to her room.
She freezes in her doorway, because lounging on her bed is Chloe, her bare legs dangling over the edge. Beca has always appreciated Chloe's legs, but now in her bed they look so sexy. It leaves Beca's mouth dry.
"You look amazing," whispers the DJ. There is love and awe in Beca's voice, the pink tint of blush coloring her cheeks. Then to Beca's deep mortification, she does the most un-Beca like thing she's ever done, she giggles. She giggles like the young, love-stricken soul she is. Beca closes her eyes, waiting for the teasing, she's sure Chloe is preparing to toss her way. When there's nothing but silence, she tentatively opens one eye, and then the other.
Chloe is staring back from the bed, with nothing but love and pride. Beca notes that Chloe is blushing too. It's when Chloe responds with, "You do, too," that Beca realizes Chloe is just as nervous as she is, and maybe was enjoying the view just as much.
Beca makes her way over to the bed, and falls on the bed with a heavy thud, completely spent from the night's drama. Then realizing what she had just done, looks over at the redhead and smiles sheepishly. "Ummm, that was less graceful than I anticipated."
"It was kinda cute, and to be honest how I feel," replies Chloe with a shake of her head. She then leans in, capturing Beca's lips. Beca's heart had started to beat faster as Chloe moved closer, and it went into overdrive as their lips met. Chloe turns into the petite DJ, taking the smaller woman into her arms, pulling her impossibly closer. Then Chloe rolls back, pulling Beca on top of her.
Beca's breath catches at this sudden move by the redhead. Chloe smirks as Beca leans in. Chloe brings her head up, lightly rubbing their noses together. Beca loves it, though she is pretty much only focusing on Chloe's lips at the moment. She would be lying if she didn't admit she's often been fascinated with Chloe's lips, but at this moment, it's like she's seeing them for the first time. They are so plump and bee stung from kissing, and oh so pink; so, so, pink. Chloe's lips look so bitable and so, so, soft.
Beca extends her head forward to place a soft kiss against Chloe's lips, marveling at the sense of rightness that comes from these actions. Chloe's hands went to either side of Beca's head, holding her in place. Their kiss deepens, and Beca feels Chloe's body grind into hers. Whether intentional or not, Chloe's thigh centers on Beca's core, and simultaneously sends sparks of passionate heat throughout her system, while setting off alarm bells in her head.
Beca is instantly a mess of contradictions. On one hand, she wants this, she wants Chloe, on the other she's suddenly scared, and unsure of herself. The feel of Chloe under her is exhilarating, and everything she imagined it could be, and that both excites and terrifies her.
As Chloe becomes a little more adventurous in her kisses, Beca's mind goes into overdrive. The redhead moves down Beca's jawline, planting light kisses and little nips. She then moves over Beca's throat, ending up at a particularly sensitive pulse point, where she sucked extra hard. It's too much for Beca, she isn't ready.
"Chlo…"
"Hmmm?" Chloe hums even as she uses her tongue to soothe the spot she was just sucking on.
"Chlo… Sto… Ahhh." Beca loves the feelings Chloe is generating within her, but it scares her too. She isn't ready.
"Stop."
Chloe instantly stops. She pulls back, and Beca can see the guilt in Chloe's eyes. "Beca," she gasps. "I'm so sorry." She pulls back further. "I thought you liked it…"
"No…"
Beca could kick herself. She sees Chloe's face fall even further, and so tries to make it right. "No, I mean yes, I liked it. I loved it. I-I-I just don't think I'm ready…"
Beca exhales the breath she didn't even realize she's been holding. Her breath tickles Chloe's neck and the redhead shudders. It was taking every ounce of her willpower to not continue.
Chloe's voice is low and husky as she asks, "Are you ok?"
"I-I-I'm nervous, Chlo," admits Beca, shyly.
Chloe reaches out to tuck a few loose strands of Beca's hair behind her ear. "Why?"
"Well…" Heat rises up Beca's neck, which she's determined to keep from spreading to her face. The blush however is too much and does spread to her cheeks.
"Beca?"
Through sheer force of will Beca manages to control her voice. "I have no experience…"
"Beca…"
"And you've been with Stacie…"
"Beca…"
"And she wants to devote chapters to you…"
"Beca…"
"What if I'm crappy, and you want her…"
Beca is silenced by the touch of Chloe's lips on hers. It's quick and fleeting. She wants more, but Chloe is rolling Beca off of her and sitting them up.
Beca panics, sure that she's ruined everything, and tears begin to gather in her stormy blue eyes. "Hey now," says Chloe, raising her thumb to catch the tears before they begin to fall. "What are these for?"
"I'm ruining everything…"
"Let me stop you right there," Chloe says softly but firmly. "No, you're not." Beca won't look her in the eyes, so Chloe uses her index finger to gently push Beca's chin up. "I'm in love with you Beca Mitchell, and part of that means I-we move at a pace you are comfortable with."
Beca isn't convinced, and Chloe leans in and gently kisses her lips. "This is a big step Beca," says the redhead. "You need to be completely comfortable with it."
"But…"
"No buts, Beca. I love you, and I have no problem waiting for you," Chloe says with earnest sincerity.
Beca gives Chloe a look, "You're just going to wait?"
"Well, I hope," Chloe answers with a grin, "that there will be a lot of cuddling, and kisses, but yes, I will wait. You're worth it."
It's Beca who surges forward and captures Chloe's lips. Their kiss is passionate, and yet so caring, and before it can get too heated again, Chloe pulls away. "Maybe we should slow down and cuddle?"
"If you insist," says Beca, with an attempt at sarcasm.
"I insist," replies Chloe as she scoots up the bed. "Now come up here," she pats the bed near her. "I need my big spoon."
Beca arches her eyebrow. "I'm the big spoon?"
Chloe grins. "Of course." She pats the spot next to her again.
Beca grins, and crawls up to the indicated spot. Chloe rolls on her side and waits for Beca to spoon up against her. Beca can see what Chloe is doing, recognizes the loving gesture the redhead is showing. She lays down next to Chloe, wrapping herself against the taller woman, happy to be the big spoon.
They fall into a comfortable silence with each other, and Beca's tension slips away. Chloe leans back against the petite woman, which warms her heart. Beca wraps her arms around the redhead a little tighter, and begins to softly sing to the redhead.
It's a little bit funny
This feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can
Easily hide
I don't have much money
But boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where
We both could live.
Chloe recognizes the song, of course, but stays quiet, in this moment she would rather just lay there, listening to Beca's voice in her ear.
So excuse me forgetting
But these things I do
See I've forgotten if
They're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is,
What I really mean,
Yours are the sweetest eyes
I've ever seen
She takes great pleasure in the way Beca's body seems to fit so perfectly against hers.
The breath of Beca's singing tickles her ears, and its effect is one that just melts her insides. She's never felt such love in her life.
And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple but
Now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
Now you're in the world
Chloe laughs lightly. It's a beautiful soft sound. Her chuckle reminds Beca of wind chimes. Beca can't help but laugh too as she continues to sing, but now it's a duet.
If I was a sculptor
But then again no
Or a girl who makes potions in
A traveling show
I know it's not much but
It's the best I can do.
My gift is my song and
This one's for you.
Beca feels a tug at the corners of her mouth as she hears Chloe's voice harmonize perfectly with hers.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Their voices have always blended so perfectly, from that first time in the shower, to this moment laying in each other's arms, at the beginning of something new.
And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple but
Now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
Now you're in the world.
They sing the last one more time.
How wonderful life is
Now you're in the world.
"I love you, Becs."
"I love you, Chlo."
They both say goodnight at the same time, which elicits another round of chuckles.
Beca supplies a quick kiss to the back of Chloe's head and they both drift off to sleep.
"Chloe?," Beca's voice is a low whisper, and thick with sleep, but still as sweet as honey. And though she's heard Beca a million times, and woken up next to the DJ probably a thousand times, the sound of the petite brunette's voice causes Chloe's breath to get stuck in her throat.
This isn't a dream!
Chloe's smile grows, and now she's sure it's safe to open her eyes. She rolls over, keeping them closed, so that when she does open them Beca is all that she will see.
The redhead opens her eyes slowly, blinking away the sleep, and there is her tiny DJ. She knew Beca was there, she knows Beca is beautiful, still, when Chloe opens her eyes this morning, with sunlight is streaming through the blinds, landing on Beca in just such a way, Chloe's breath catches. Beca has never looked so beautiful.
"Morning, Beautiful," whispers Beca with a soft smile.
"Morning, Love," Chloe whispers right back, a soft smile of her own.
They lay in comfortable silence, just loving that they are finally together, for a couple minutes, just drinking in the moment. They'd missed this. The happy silence. Just two best friends together. The stark contrast against the past few months. It had been a long stretch, and they'd missed each other.
"How did you sleep?"
Beca answers honestly, "It was one of the best night's sleep I've ever had. You?"
Chloe whispers, "Better with you here." She leans in and gives a soft lingering kiss.
"I feel the same," Beca answers dreamily as Chloe pulls away.
"I love this," Chloe says with a happy sigh, "lying here, under the bedsheets with you."
"Me, too," replies Beca, and she does. She can't remember ever being so content.
The young couple again lapses into another silence. Words don't seem that necessary. Each woman is just enjoying the moment. Taking the opportunity to study the other in exquisite detail. Openly eyeing the other, not having to hide their love in furtive glances.
After a bit, Beca realizes that they've been just lying there, staring at one another for a half hour. Yet for the life of her, she has no desire to break this moment. She is reminded of all the times Chloe and her had ended up just staring at each other. They would stare until Beca would realize what was happening and end it. Beca now realizes that should have been a glaring sign for her. She wishes she would have paid more attention to them.
"Hey, don't overthink this," says Chloe, as she leans in for a kiss.
Beca smiles softly, she has no desire to break this moment. "I'm not actually. Which I find puzzling, because I overthink everything." Chloe leans in again, and softly kisses Beca. "I am thinking, we should have been doing this much sooner."
Chloe giggles as she falls back flat. "All in good time."
"Maybe, but I wish I had made better choices," Beca admits.
Chloe rolls back over, her head resting on her hand for support. She looks at Beca with her deep blue eyes, and smiles. "Beca, this is no small thing you are doing. It's no small thing to fall for someone, to put yourself out there, and be vulnerable to someone." She runs her hand up Beca's side, causing the petite brunette to close her eyes and just savor the touch. Chloe then takes a few strands of Beca's chocolate brown hair, and tucks them behind her ears. "On top of that, even in this year, there are those who can't accept a gay relationship. It's overcoming, but still it's no small thing."
Beca asks, "Do you ever worry about that?"
Chloe shakes her head no, "Maybe a little," she pauses, "once it might have been a big deal." The redhead's smile is so big now, Beca is nearly blinded by its intensity. "But I came to realize it doesn't matter. They, whoever they are, don't matter." She reaches out and cups Beca's face. "How can love ever be wrong?"
Beca closes her eyes, and leans into Chloe's hand, relishing the softness on her cheek. "I agree," she whispers.
Beca had always prided herself on being able to bury her emotions so she would never overly expose herself. When she was around Chloe though, she never feels vulnerable. It's like it's okay to feel everything. Chloe just has a power to bring out emotions and feelings within her; some of which she didn't even know existed.
"Beca," there's a hesitancy in Chloe's voice that causes Beca's eyes to snap open. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course," replies Beca without hesitation.
The redhead is silent for a second, pondering her next question. She makes a decision, and asks, "What changed?"
Beca furrows her brows, not sure of the question. "What do you mean?"
Chloe bites her lower lip, wondering if this isn't the right time. She decides though that she's already committed to this path. "What changed that you were willing to take the leap with me?"
"I realized some things about me, about you, and…"
"And what?" The redhead was now very curious.
"And it just felt right," Beca answers honestly. "It's like it has been building, and building, until it burst forth." The petite DJ looks at Chloe with all her love. "I couldn't deny the fact that I had fallen in love with you."
Beca has never seen so much love in another person's face, and to know it's all directed at her was so awe inspiring. Beca can't help but lean in and kiss Chloe, hoping she can convey her love back. The redhead readily accepts and returns the kiss, gentle and loving.
Their kiss comes to a natural end when they both break to breathe; only pulling back enough so they can see each other's face. Chloe rests her forehead against Beca's and quietly whispers, "I'm never going to tire of that."
Beca's lips quirk upward into an impish smirk, as she replies, "Me neither." She then moves in for another. This one a bit more passionate, the last fueling a desire she's kept hidden away. Where last night she was worried, now in the light of day she feels braver, bolder, and liberated.
Their mouths move together as if they have done this a thousand times. Firm yet soft, their lips form perfect counters to the other. Moist, but not slobbering, the experience for each woman is quite pleasing. And when Beca swipes her tongue across Chloe's lips, the redhead parts them, allowing the brunette access to explore, even as their tongues dance around one another.
Again, the need for air forces the two women apart. Each fall back on their respective pillows. A bit breathless from her Tiny DJ's kiss, Chloe asks, "Beca?"
"Yeah?"
"Not that I'm complaining, or want this to stop," Chloe says hesitantly, as she rolls on her side.
Beca does the same. "Ummm - okay."
"It's just I was so worried; but then you came back, and there's such a change in you," Chloe begins to ramble.
Beca gives her a quick peck on the lips to silence her, then says, "It's okay Chlo, you can ask."
Chloe smiles at the DJ, then looks a bit serious as she asks, "What happened last week?"
Beca looks contemplative, as she mulls the words she wants to use. She starts slowly, "Well, I had been feeling all this pressure, with work, with my schedule, with Jesse, and my feelings for you. I had run away to Las Vegas under the cover of work, but that was just an excuse."
Chloe just lays there, letting Beca talk, not wanting to disrupt the petite brunette's chain of thought. She does however hope her face and eyes convey how much she cares and loves.
Beca does sense the love emanating from the woman next to her. It does help, it does reassure as she continues, "Then the dress fitting happened, and the Bellas, God bless them, helped me to confront some things…"
"Did they overstep?"
Beca shakes her head. "Maybe at the time-I-I-might've answered differently…"
"Beca…"
The petite brunette holds up her hand. "No, it's okay. I came to realize they did me a favor. But before that realization came, there was…"
"Was the Karaoke," Chloe whispers.
There's a pause, and a heaviness that wasn't there before descends upon the two women. After a second Beca sighs. "Yeah, there was the Karaoke." She pauses again. "I wasn't clueless. I knew what was going on, but I truly didn't know what to do."
"Becs…"
Beca talks over Chloe, not wanting to stop, "Then you sang that last song." Chloe's eyes begin to well with tears, but remains silent as Beca continues, "There was no hiding after that declaration. You put it all out there…"
"I'm so sorry, Becs." Chloe can't contain it anymore. Her words are sorrowful, and she feels so awful for forcing her into such a public display.
This catches Beca off guard. So, lost in her memories of that night, she hadn't been playing close attention to Chloe, and didn't realize the effect she was having on the redhead. "Hey," she brings her hand up and cups Chloe's cheek, gently guiding Chloe's eyes to meet hers. "Don't cry, this isn't a sad story, this is a happy story." Beca's thumb gently wipes away a tear.
"But I put you on the spot, I forced you…"
"No," Beca responds to Chloe. "You inspired me."
This catches Chloe off guard, even as another tear forms, which Beca quickly kisses away, Chloe asks, "What?"
Beca smiles. "Yes, I ran at the moment. It was a lot to take in." She forestalls any more apologies from the redhead. "But that moment passed, actually rather quickly…"
"But then-what-where?"
"I realized there was something hanging over me, that was holding me back from accepting the obvious," Beca says honestly.
Chloe is truly curious, "What?"
"My mother," Beca answers. "I needed to confront my mother…"
Chloe doesn't know the full story, has never pushed for details, but over the years has pieced together that Beca and her mother had an estranged relationship at best. It was even worse than her relationship with her father. "Beca…"
"You inspired me, Chlo," Beca says before kissing the tears away from Chloe's cheeks. "You had the courage to put yourself out there. You laid your heart on the line, leaving yourself completely vulnerable."
Beca smiles. "How could I do any less? I used your courage as inspiration to finally face my mother."
Chloe looks at her friend with great sympathy. "How did it go?"
To Chloe's surprise, Beca's smile actually grows. "Better than I could have ever wished."
"Really?"
Beca nods her head. "Yeah, really."
Chloe's smile is warm as she asks, "Will you tell me about it?"
"Yeah."
"Only if you want to," Chloe says, holding up her hand.
"I want to," Beca assures the redhead. "I want to share everything with you." Chloe's chest fills with such warmth, and her eyes well again, but this time the emotions threatening to overcome her, are ones of joy. She moves in quickly and captures Beca's lips.
They remain locked together, just savoring the taste of the other, enjoying the soft feel of the other woman's lips. When they finally break, Beca smirks. "I'm never going to finish if we keep doing this."
Chloe smirks back. "Do you want me to stop?"
"Not a chance," Beca breathes out as she moves forward and captures Chloe's lips.
It's another minute before Beca and Chloe break. It takes a moment, but Chloe is patient, and Beca starts telling her story. It's a bit rambling and disjointed, and Beca's not sure where to take the story, but over time her week is revealed.
Chloe doesn't care that Beca is all over the place with her narrative, she still hangs on every word. And throughout the brunette's telling, it's easy for Chloe to listen raptly. She has always found a nervous Beca to be just so adorable, especially when the girl is bumbling through her words.
She can't believe there is so much she didn't know about Beca. She's always prided herself on knowing everything about Beca, knowing her better than everyone else. It's shocking to find out how much she didn't know. Chloe silently vows to spend the rest of her life learning the rest.
"Kiss me," says Chloe as Beca's story comes to an end. The story has left her an emotional mess. It has evoked all types of emotions within her. These feelings are overwhelming her. Happiness. Sadness. Fulfillment. Loss. Contentment. Regret. Love.
So much love.
Like her heart could literally explode, overflowing with love.
All for her, all for Beca.
"Okay," Beca replies almost shyly, before she gently presses her lips onto Chloe's.
Again, both women marvel at the feel of each other's lips; they are warm and soft like velvet, yet with a firmness of passion.
Chloe quickly takes the lead, gently biting her DJ's lower lip, deepening the kiss. Not to be outdone, Beca responds by running her tongue along the redhead's. Chloe eagerly welcomes it into her mouth as she rolls over on top of the petite brunette, while Beca runs her hands up and down the taller woman's sides, from just below her arms to her hips, which causes the redhead to softly moan into her kiss. Chloe wraps her arms around Beca's neck as each savors the taste of the other.
Each woman feels their heartbeat accelerate as they take in how the other looks, feels, sounds, tastes; it's a sensory menagerie.
Chloe pulls away, much to Beca's disappointment, but then the redhead smiles at the petite brunette, her special bright, blazing smile that has lit up Beca's life for the better part of five years, and everything is good in the world.
"I love you." Looking up into the most beautiful cerulean blue eyes, the tiny DJ feels nothing but love.
"Good, because I love you, too," responds Chloe before bending down to pepper Beca in light kisses.
Beca sighs contentedly. In this moment she has found heaven, here with Chloe. She would never get tired of this. She gently pushes Chloe back, so she can look into those majestic blue eyes again. She swipes a loose hair out of Chloe's face, and whispers, "I want this. I want to wake up with you every day like this. I want to be by your side, and you by mine, until we grow old. And even then, I want to keep waking up next to you, every day, until death do us apart, which will only mean we spend eternity in the afterlife together." Beca pauses as she takes in the love emanating from Chloe's eyes, before she says, "I guess I'm saying I never want this to end."
"Oh, Becs," Chloe responds, and leans down to capture her tiny DJ's lips again in a passionate embrace…
Love I get so lost, sometimes
The two women continue to kiss, years of pent up passion released in this moment.
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
But whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are
Neither is sure who hears it first, but there's a small prick to their bubble. An unwelcome entry into their shared universe.
All my instincts, they return
And the grand facade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside
Chloe pulls back and looks down at Beca questioningly. She asks, "Is that?"
In your eyes
The light the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
"Music?," Beca finishes. "Yeah, it is…"
In your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your eyes
The resolution of all the fruitless searches
The two women look at each other in confusion, each listening.
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your eyes
"Oh, God," groans Beca.
Chloe looks at her questioningly. "What?"
In your eyes
I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Beca shakes her head and slides out of the bed, quietly padding out of the bedroom barefoot. It takes Chloe a moment, but then she follows.
She's surprised to see Benji and Emily rising from the couch. Both look at her sheepishly. Chloe arches an eyebrow; Emily blushes.
"Ummm, Benji's going to stay with us," Emily says. Her eyes grow wide. "I-I mean, if it's okay."
Love, I don't like to see so much pain
So much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive
Chloe notices Beca looking through the window. She refocuses on the young couple and says, "Of course, Benji." She flashes her trademark smile. "You are more than welcome."
And all my instincts, they return
And the grand facade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside
Chloe steps next to Beca, and gasps when she looks out the window.
Jesse stands in the parking lot, dressed in a long beige trench coat, with a boombox held above his head, music blaring.
In your eyes
The light the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes
"Where do you think he got the boombox?," Chloe asks. It's so unreal, it's all that she can think to ask.
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your eyes
"I seriously have no idea," Beca answers honestly with a shake of her head. The moment that she recognized the song, she had known what she would find, but still seeing it in person is a whole other reality.
The resolution of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes
"He bought it on eBay," Benji answers as he and Emily join them at the window. "Specifically for a situation like this." The man looks at his longtime friend shaking his head, and the pity is clear for all to hear and see.
I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
"Oh, God," says Beca as she covers her face. She can't believe Jesse is doing this. She had hoped that he would take to heart what she had said last night.
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
"What do we do?," Chloe asks, looking at her friends for any ideas.
The heat I see in your eyes
In your eyes, in your eyes
"Should we go out there?," asks Emily. Looking at Beca in particular she continues, "Or at least one of us?"
In your eyes, in your eyes
Beca shakes her head, "I'm not going out there."
In your eyes, in your eyes
"You don't have to," says Chloe. When the other three look at her, she gestures with her chin towards Jesse. They all turn to see Jesse turning off the boombox, and setting it down. They then see what Chloe was referencing, as they all notice Aubrey striding determinedly towards him.
"Oh, God. She's in full General Posen mode," breathes Beca.
"This can't be good," whispers Emily.
From the distance they can't tell what Aubrey says to Jesse, but they can tell he doesn't like it. They can see Aubrey is in no mood to argue, but Jesse tries. All four of the friends grimace, this might not be pretty.
It's like watching a car wreck. They want to look away, but can't. All four hold their collective breaths as they watch the scene playout before them. Aubrey stands with arms crossed as Jesse makes what must be some passionate speech. He gestures around wildly, most often gesticulating towards Beca and Chloe's apartment.
Aubrey finally seems to reach her breaking point. She says something, and then turns on her heels and walks away. Jesse looks between Aubrey and the apartment, as if torn.
Aubrey looks over her shoulder and barks a command. The four friends leap back from the window, and it must register with Jesse, because with great resignation, he picks up his boom box, and with a wistful look, dejectedly follows Aubrey.
Emily asks, "What do you think she said?"
"I have no idea," says Chloe with a shake of her head.
"Nor do I want to," says Beca.
All four friends nod their head at this.
o0o
"You know you never really had a chance," says Aubrey as she takes the bar stool next to Jesse. She signals the bartender and points to Jesse and then herself, before holding up two fingers.
"Isn't it a little early to be drinking?," Jesse snarks as he looks about the little dive bar Aubrey brought him to.
Aubrey shrugs. "They open early to show European soccer games. EPL in particular."
When Jesse stares at her blankly, Aubrey explains, "English Premier League. I come here to catch the Liverpool games."
"That's a rather surprising revelation about one Aubrey Posen," declares Jesse as he accepts a drink from the bartender. He sips and makes a bit of a face. "Whiskey? Really?"
"Thanks, Phil," Aubrey says as she accepts her own drink. "Put them on my tab." She then swivels on her seat and faces the broken-hearted man. "Yes, whiskey. You are in the midst of a bad breakup, which you are not handling well. Definitely calls for whiskey."
"Right," answers Jesse with a sarcastic bite. He lifts his glass and tilts it towards Aubrey in a mock toast, and then throws back a huge gulp.
He immediately goes into a coughing fit. Aubrey smirks as she slaps his back, and signals Phil for a refill.
"Try sipping, it will go down easier, and slower, which you definitely need," the blonde says as she takes a sip.
"Sipping, yeah, sounds like a good plan," Jesse wheezes. He takes a much smaller sip this time, and calms his breathing. Once he is set, he looks at her and says, "So, I never had a chance." His sarcasm is back.
Aubrey chooses to ignore it. She knows he's hurting. "Yes, you never had a chance. What you are now witnessing was inevitable."
"Bullshit!"
Again the blonde chooses to ignore the young man's outburst. "Think about their history together. Think about their personalities. Then tell me I'm wrong."
Jesse looks at her without saying anything, and Aubrey takes the opening to continue."From the moment those two met, they have felt a pull towards one another; like they had their own personal magnetism."
Jesse scoffs at Aubrey's pronouncement.
The blonde ignores this and continues. "Beca was literally born with the ability to bend music to her will. You know this, you've seen it first hand, and up close."
There's petulance in Jesse's response. "Yeah, so?"
Aubrey fights to keep from rolling her eyes. She knows Jesse is hurting, so she continues to try and explain. "Chloe is music. She doesn't just love music, she's literally music at its most pure and raw in her soul."
"That doesn't explain Beca. That only explains Chloe. I've known she's harbored feelings for Beca for years, but Beca…"
"Reciprocated," Aubrey cuts in. "It was there, whether you chose to admit it or not."
"So, you're telling me that Beca and Chloe are soulmates?" Jesse does nothing to hide his incredulity.
"In a word? Yes," Aubrey's answer is short and to the point.
"Please," Jesse shakes his head. "We were together for four plus years. She's not gay."
Aubrey waves this away as non-consequential. "I'm not saying she's gay. I don't know what she is, or really care, for that matter. It's not important."
"Not important? Not important! The woman I love, and was planning to marry, is now shacking up with another woman, and you don't think it's important."
"No, I don't," Aubrey answers honestly.
"Well it matters to me," he replies sullenly, before taking a larger sip. The whiskey burns, and he grimaces.
"Smaller sips," advises Aubrey. "And it's up to you if you want to fixate that Chloe is a woman, but it's not the reason you and Beca didn't work out."
"Oh really? Do tell then."
"Jesse, did you ever think that maybe you fell in love with the image of Beca you were building in your head? Creating the leading lady for a movie starring you?"
Jesse stares at Aubrey, processing what she's saying. No, it isn't true, he hasn't been trying to create his leading lady. Beca had always been his leading lady since he had first talked to her at the radio station, on the first day of their internship.
Jesse swallows, unable to look Aubrey in the eye. "I always had this belief that if I did everything right, she would…"
"She'd what?," Aubrey asks incredulously. "Be someone different, want something different than what she's always wanted? I think you've been kidding yourself Jesse."
"No, but if she gave me one more chance…"
"So the Say Anything rip-off was what?," Aubrey asks.
"A display of how much she means to me."
"Jesse…" Aubrey sighs. "You can't be this naïve. Grand gestures don't work in situations like this. So, my guess is that you're in denial."
"What? No!" There was no sarcasm in his response.
"So, what did you think would happen? Did you really believe that Beca would see your demonstration, and come running out of her apartment and into your arms?" There's a bit of bite in Aubrey's question.
Jesse starts to answer, then pauses, seems to contemplate something, and then says, "Well, when you say it that way."
"Jesse, that's the only way," replies Aubrey. "This is precisely what I'm talking about, Jesse. The thing about life: it is not like a movie. You started to believe that big grand expressive gestures would solve all your relationship issues with Beca."
"They weren't to solve," Jesse hisses, "but to prove my love. To show how much she means to me…"
"While Chloe has just always been there," Aubrey cuts in. "You know the reason you grew to dislike her so much?"
"Because she has been working to steal my girlfriend…"
"Jesse, do you really, I mean really, think that Chloe has been working to steal Beca all this time?"
Jesse swept his arms about him, all the while nodding. "Yeah, I do." He takes a strong swig of the whiskey, and says, "I think that bitch bided her time, and preyed upon Beca's feelings, and stole my girlfriend!" He ends his rant in a hiss.
The blonde just stares at Jesse for a few moments, moments in which she pictures punching him in the face, but she restrains herself. "Jesse, you're speaking about my best friend, but more than that she's the most generous caring person on this planet."
Jesse goes to speak but Aubrey cuts in. "No, if you keep speaking I might have to hit you." Jesse leans back and holds his hands up. "You're a bigger fool than I took you for."
"Hey!," Jesse says, taking offense.
"No, you listen to me! I've tried to play the supportive friend here, but it's quickly becoming apparent that you need a swift kick in the ass."
Jesse goes to speak, but Aubrey holds up her index finger, and images of her punching him are as clear as day in his head. "Chloe Beale did not hatch some plot to steal Beca. The closest thing she ever came to any actual plan was to fail Russian Literature so she could remain at Barden."
"Huh?"
"Oh please, Jesse, you of all people should know she only failed so she could stay at Barden with Beca," Aubrey says, as if it's clear as day.
Realization hits Jesse, and he snaps his fingers. "See, she was a conniving bit…"
Jesse sees stars as his head snaps back from the force of Aubrey's punch.
"Phil, two more. Plus can we get a bucket of ice for my hand, and a towel with some ice for his nose?," says Aubrey as she massages the knuckles of her right hand.
Phil is quick with their new drinks, and then without a word brings up a bucket that he fills with ice. He then tosses Jesse a clean towel, which catches him in the face.
"Thanks," Jesse sounds nasally as he holds his head back and pinches his nose. He groans as he takes the white towel and ice, and presses it to his face.
"You know there was only one bitch leading the Bellas your freshman year. So I would appreciate it if you would refrain from calling my best friend one," Aubrey says with utter conviction. "I would hate to have to give you a demonstration of what happens in my kickboxing classes."
Jesse holds his hand up as he asks, "You take kickboxing?" His voice nasally and a bit clogged sounding from pinching it with a towel.
"No." She shakes her head and drops her voice into a menacing growl. "I teach it."
Jesse stumbles off of his bar stool. Aubrey looks at him and then at the stool. "Sit." She says it quietly, without anger, but the steel of command. When Jesse hesitates, she repeats the command, but with more vigor. Jesse scrambled back up onto the seat.
"So, as I was saying, Chloe didn't do anything with the intention of breaking you and Beca up. She wouldn't do that. She wouldn't want to hurt Beca like that. And she also knows Beca enough to know that the hobbit can't abide cheaters. There was no way Chloe would ever put Beca into a situation where she knew Beca would be hurt by it."
"Are you trying to tell me Beca didn't cheat on me?" Aubrey can't tell if there's more incredulity or hope in Jesse's plaintive whine.
"Beca never cheated on you with Chloe," Aubrey says with conviction.
"I don't believe that! Are you telling me they never even kissed while we still together?"
Aubrey's eyes flick to the left, and Jesse jumps on it. "A-ha! I knew it! Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit!" Jesse takes on a smug look, as if he's won the argument.
The blonde rolls her eyes, and says in a strained, but calm voice, "Oh, you got me." She mockingly duplicates the surrender gesture Jesse had recently done. "Yes, Beca kissed Chloe before you arrived at Fat Amy's gala. Their first kiss was movie ending worthy, witnessed by a thousand people!" Aubrey notes how crestfallen he looks, and can't help taking some measure of satisfaction. "There, are you happy? Do you feel better now?"
Jesse's shoulders slump and his face falls. "Didn't think so," Aubrey says. "Chloe and Beca didn't cheat." The blonde holds up her finger to stop Jesse from saying anything. "Beca jumped the gun, but Fat Amy told me that the only reason Beca hadn't broken up with you was at her request."
"What?"
"Yes, Beca was planning on breaking up with you, but Amy asked her to hold off till after whatever the Hell that was last night. Guess no one expected you to jump the gun and propose right there in the middle of a riff-off, but then I guess we all figured that anyone who has dated Beca for the last few years, would actually know the woman."
"I know my girlfriend!," Jesse hisses. This draws the attention of a few customers who have wandered in, so Jesse shrinks down and whispers, "I know my girlfriend…"
"Ex."
"Thanks for the reminder." Jesse is full on sullen now.
"The sooner you accept the fact," Aubrey says with all sincerity, "the sooner you can start to heal."
Jesse just grunts and takes another sip. Aubrey continues, "Seriously Jesse; what were you thinking?"
Jesse is actually confused by this question. "Huh?"
"The proposal? What were you thinking? Did you actually think that would work with Beca?"
Jesse turns on Aubrey. "I thought she would say 'YES'! You say Beca doesn't like grand gestures, but we know different. Remember it was Beca who put together that set for ICCA's. Who came down and kissed me. It was Beca who gave me," he holds his hands up, and does air quotes, "my 'movie moment'."
"Jesse, she inserted a song into our set that meant something to you, and we were cool with it. But the performance was going to happen whether we sang 'Don't You Forget About Me' or not. And, yes, she came down and kissed you. Very romantic, I grant you, but since then, has Beca shown any inclination to PDA? Has she ever initiated a public spectacle? Has she shown enthusiasm or mortification when you have pulled one of your 'movie moments'?" It's Aubrey who does the air quotes.
"She-she," Jesse stutters, wanting to say Beca appreciated the efforts, had been touched by the moments, but the words wouldn't come. He could picture Beca begrudgingly accepting the gestures, barely tolerating Jesse's attempts at romantic moments. "She tolerated them."
"Yeah," the blonde takes a sip of her drink. "Because that's what you were going for. Now, what about those quiet gestures, those little moments, when you weren't looking for grand, but just doing something for Beca?"
Jesse lapses into silence, as a number of moments flash through his mind, all ending with Beca smiling and happy. Unfortunately, most of the memories are from his sophomore year.
"Jesse? Are you even friends with Beca?"
The question shocks Jesse out of his silence. "Of course!"
"Really?"
"Yes!"
"Jesse, I'm going to be brutally honest here," Aubrey says.
Jesse indicates his nose. "Now you're going to be brutal?"
Again Aubrey chooses to ignore Jesse, lest she punch him again. "You are currently not friends with Beca. At this point I really doubt that Beca even wants to see you again."
This totally shuts Jesse up. He sits there muted.
"I truly believe that at one point, Beca loved you, and I think there's a chance she may still care for you. But right now, you are not her friend, and not welcome in her life."
"She told you this?," Jesse demands.
"No. She didn't need to. I know my friend, and I know if you want any chance of having any type of relationship with Beca, then you have to show her you can be a friend."
"How am I supposed to do that?." Aubrey thinks she detects some actual honest curiosity in his question.
Aubrey turns on the stool and looks Jesse square in the eyes. "First, give her space. No communication of any kind. No phone calls, no texts, or emails. Cut all social media connections…"
The blonde's demands seem to horrify Jesse. "But how will…"
Aubrey gives a curt shake of the head. "You won't."
"But, what if-?"
"You won't."
"I mean, what if-?"
"You won't."
"Fine," Jesse concedes with a dramatic sigh.
"Two," says Aubrey.
"Two!?"
"Yes, two, Jesse. You might want to write these down." Aubrey signals Phil for pen and a pad of paper. She thrusts them in Jesse's hands and continues. "No coming to her apartment building, or the neighborhood. No 'accidentally' running into her."
Aubrey points at him. "You have to give her time and space."
"Time and space for Chloe to sink her claws deeper into Beca," Jesse mumbles, not realizing he said it out loud.
"That ship has sailed Jesse. Beca has been in love with Chloe for nearly as long as Chloe's been in love with her. To be honest, you were right about those two being closer than best friends. It's too bad you didn't do the right thing and step aside. You could have saved Beca, Chloe, and yourself a lot of grief."
"You don't just let a girl like Beca get away, she's one-in-a-million…," Jesse starts.
"Why not?," Aubrey counters. "Chloe did, and would have again. If Beca hadn't asked Chloe to come to LA, Chloe would have stayed out east, letting Beca go. I know for a fact she was planning on leaving soon. She had an idea you were going to propose. She planned on leaving at that point. How come Chloe is willing to let Beca go, and you're not?"
"Maybe I love Beca more," Jesse says smugly.
"Please! Chloe's pinkie toe has more love for Beca than you can muster on a good day," Aubrey says with a mirthless laugh. Before Jesse can say anymore, Aubrey continues, "Chloe was willing to walk away, and let Beca go, because she always put Beca first. She always wanted Beca to be happy, even if that meant Beca chose you."
Aubrey pokes Jesse's chest. "Can you do the same? Can you put Beca first?"
Jesse wants to answer 'Yes', but knows he might not be answering truthfully. He does love Beca, but he doesn't want to face the emptiness of not having her anymore. She's his aca-girl, he's her aca-boy. When she kissed him that afternoon at the National Championship, it had confirmed all he had been feeling. How could it all have slipped away?
"Third," Aubrey snaps Jesse out of his thoughts. "You have to learn how to be a friend again."
"Wait, I know how to be a friend," Jesse argues. When Aubrey just raises an eyebrow in question, Jesse defends himself. "I've got plenty of friends."
"I might have to punch you again if you say those douchebags USC Boys," Aubrey says with all sincerity.
"Benji," Jesse throws out. "He's my best friend." Aubrey just raises an eyebrow again in answer. "What? Benji is my best friend."
"Is he?"
"Uhh-Yeah," Jesse's answer holds no conviction.
"Jesse, you lost two important people in your life yesterday," says Aubrey. She reaches out and takes Jesse's hand in hers. "Whether they're both gone from your life for good, is totally up to you."
Aubrey picks up her whisky and finishes it, then stands up. "Phil, charge this all to my card." Aubrey waves at the glasses. When Phil gives her a thumbs up, Aubrey looks at Jesse, still holding his hand and says, "My third suggestion is, fix things with Benji. Do right by him."
"I don't…"
"Learn to be a friend again. Be Benji's best friend again," advises Aubrey with all sincerity. With that Aubrey pats Jesse on the shoulder and makes her way towards the exit.
Jesse follows her with his eyes. "Hey, Aubrey, why did you do this?"
The blonde doesn't stop walking, but answers over her shoulder. "Because you have the potential to hurt two people I care about very much. Too be honest, you already have, and I want to put a stop to it." She stops and turns towards Jesse, who is still sitting at the bar. "And I know. deep down, you are a decent guy, and still can be a standup guy." She turns to leave, before turning back and with a smirk that would make Beca proud, she says, "That's as if you stop being a douchebag."
As Aubrey opens the door to the outside, light comes flooding in, surprising Jesse. He forgot it's the middle of the day. Suddenly, exhaustion takes over and his shoulders slump. He realizes it's been thirty-two hours since he slept.
"Jesse," Aubrey's voice cuts through the haze of his exhaustion. "There's a cab out here, waiting for you. Take it, go home, and get some sleep."
Jesse stares at Aubrey dumbly, trying to process what she just said. "Phil, can you make sure he gets into a cab?" The bartender gives an affirmative. With that Aubrey turns to leave.
"Aubrey!," Jesse shouts, stopping the blonde. "Uhhh-thanks." She nods, and turns to leave again. "Aubrey!" Jesse can see her exhale in annoyance. "Ummm, uhhh, do you think maybe, uhhh, you might want to get a drink? You know, uhhh, once I do what you, ummm, suggested."
Aubrey looks at Jesse with a weird look, as if she's chewing on her bottom lip. She then chuckles, shakes her head and says, "Boy, you really haven't been paying attention." With that she steps out of the door and into the midday sun of LA, leaving Jesse in the dark.
o0o
A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed. The ending is in sight.
Songs used in this chapter
Your Song by Elton John
In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel