April 2018

"Uncle Rafa, why do you always wash the dishes?" Noah asked, watching Rafael with a curious expression, head tilted slightly to the left.

Rafael glanced back from where he was stood at the sink, sleeves rolled up past his elbows, his hands deep in soapy water.

"Well, yourmami cooks…" Rafael glanced at the pile of takeout containers this evening's meal had arrived in. "Or at least, she provides the food, so it's only fair that I clean up," he explained.

Olivia was in the bathroom, taking a shower. She'd had a long day. She'd been about to leave to relieve Lucy – who had a class that evening – when Dodds had appeared demanding a detailed briefing on their latest case. She'd called Rafael, tentatively asking if he'd be able to swing by her apartment and watch Noah until she was done.

He and Olivia had only been together a couple of months, and despite the numerous evenings and weekends Rafael had spent with her and Noah, he'd never been left alone with the boy. Nevertheless, he'd agreed – wanting to help her out – and had packed up and headed to her apartment to relieve Lucy.

He and Noah had spent the next couple of hours playing with his Lego, building an intricate police station – complete with SVU squad figures – and playing cops and robbers. When Olivia had called on her way home, telling him not to worry about dinner because she was picking up takeout, Rafael hailed his first babysitting adventure a success – Noah was happy and unhurt, and they'd avoided any emergencies. The three of them had enjoyed a relaxed dinner before Rafael had made his usual offer to clean up while Olivia showered off her stressful day.

"Yeah, but why do you wash them in the sink?" Noah replied. When Rafael furrowed his brow at him, Noah stood from the table with a sigh and walked over to the sink. He pulled down what Rafael could now see was a faux-cupboard front to reveal a dishwasher. "Momma always uses this."

Rafael caught movement out of the corner of his eye and raised his head to see Olivia entering, a small smirk on her face.

"Well," he began, raising an eyebrow at Olivia, "your mami never mentioned a dishwasher." For a moment, Rafael wondered how he'd managed not to notice the appliance but then realised the first few times he'd cleared up was while she was settling Noah in bed, and he'd done so without asking. He'd just spotted the washing up liquid and sponge by the sink and got on with it, assuming that – as the required tools were there – that was how it was done in the Benson household, just as it had been in his house growing up.

"You always looked so comfortable washing them by hand, I didn't see the need," she shot back, eyes shining.

This was new, the light-hearted teasing between them. It had started to creep in in the months before they'd addressed their feelings for each other but only occasionally; each wary of giving too much away or overstepping or tipping the careful balance they had managed to find. But now, they were free to tease as much as they liked, and it was a facet of this new relationship that they were very much enjoying.

"I'll remember that," Rafael told her, before playfully throwing the dishcloth at her.

"I had fun today, Uncle Rafa," Noah said, as he snuggled down in his bed. The two of them had just finished the second bedtime story of the evening – after more Lego building and a couple of jigsaw puzzles – and Rafael was getting him settled before he called for Olivia to come and say goodnight.

"So did I, mi amigo."

The boy rolled onto his side, grabbing Eddie and tucking him into the crook of his arm. "Can you watch me again soon, please?"

"I'm sure your mami and I can work something out, but I wouldn't want to put Lucy out of a job," he joked.

The boy shook his head. "No. I love Lucy," he agreed. "But I enjoyed building Lego with you too."

The slight disappointment in Noah's voice tugged on Rafael's heartstrings and he had the overwhelming urge to reassure him.

"Well…" Rafael hesitated, unsure if his next words would overstep. He and Olivia hadn't really spoken about how they were going to address the change in their relationship with Noah. "Your mami and I have decided that I'm going to be spending a bit more time here," he said, trying to find a child-friendly way of explaining the situation without using terms like 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'. "So, I'm sure there'll be lots of Lego time for the two of us."

Noah's eyes widened, and he turned towards the door, "Is that true Momma?"

Rafael's head flipped round to see Olivia leaning on the doorframe, an unreadable expression on her face. He swallowed nervously as he waited to see how she'd respond to Noah, to see if he'd blown this relationship before it had even really started.

"Uncle Rafa will probably be over here more often, yes."

Relief flooded through Rafael and he turned back to Noah. "But only if that's okay with you?" he asked. He didn't want to insert himself into the child's life if he wasn't wanted – and one successful night playing with Lego didn't mean that Noah would want him in here all the time.

Noah nodded sleepily, struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Because if I'm here too much and you just want some time with your mami, you tell me. Okay, mi amigo?"

"Never here too much," the boy mumbled. "Love you, Uncle Rafa."

Hearing Noah's declaration, tears sprang to Rafael's eyes. He bent, pushing Noah's curls off his forehead and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. "I love you too, mi amigo. Dulces sueños."

He slipped quietly from the room, leaving Olivia to complete the process of settling Noah to sleep, returning to the living room where he poured them both a drink. It wasn't more than five minutes before Olivia joined him, Noah having fallen asleep almost instantly.

"Hey." He reached for her wine glass that sat on the coffee table and handed it to her. She took it gratefully and joined him on the sofa, curling her legs under her as she got comfortable. "I'm sorry if I overstepped with Noah… telling him I'd be around more."

His tone was hesitant, wary. It had only been two months of casual dates – dinners, the theatre, walks through the park – and one night of passion at his place while Noah was having a sleepover with Jesse. And while they had declared their feelings for each other, there had been no promises or pledges made.

He took a gulp of scotch. "I know we haven't really talked about how we're going to discuss it with Noah–"

Olivia reached over and placed a hand on his thigh, cutting him off. "It's fine," she assured him, shifting her position slightly so she could meet his eyes. "You're right, we haven't talked about it. But, I have no problem with what you said to him. It's probably what I would have said too. And it's sweet that you want him to feel comfortable."

"I do, Liv. I really do."

He was under no illusions – if Noah wasn't comfortable with him… with them… this relationship wouldn't work. He'd walk away rather than make the boy unhappy or make Olivia feel like she had to choose.

Olivia smiled. "I don't think you've anything to worry about on that score. Noah idolises you."

Rafael blushed. Noah seemed happy enough to have him around, but he wasn't sure he would go as far as to use the word 'idolises'.

Olivia sensed his doubt. "He does," she insisted.

"Well, let's hope it lasts." He slid his arm around her shoulder and, carefully balancing his glass of scotch on his lap, picked up the TV remote that lay next to him on the cushion. "Netflix?"

Olivia nodded and snuggled closer, allowing Rafael to pull her into his side as he flicked through the catalogue of shows available. They finally settled on some old episodes of The West Wing, but it wasn't long before the show was forgotten – left to play on in the background as Rafael and Olivia continued the explorations of each other's bodies that had begun the previous weekend in his apartment.

Olivia was straddling Rafael's lap, his hands at her waist, teasing the skin beneath the grey hoodie she had thrown on after her shower. He felt the hitch in her breath as his thumbs stroked her sides, just above the waist of her simple, black leggings.

Curling her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, she nipped at his bottom lip teasingly before smoothing her hands over his shoulders and round to the front of his dress shirt. She toyed with the buttons for a few moments – the tie and suspenders had been discarded long before she'd got home from work – before beginning to unfasten them.

In response, his hands swept up her sides, lifting her hoodie a little further as they went to reveal a pale blue, lace bra. Rafael groaned at the sight, dipping his head forward to place gentle kisses along her skin. Olivia allowed herself a small smile, pleased that she could elicit such a reaction given her age and scars.

Finished with his buttons she lifted her arms, allowing Rafael to completely remove her sweater. Once it was discarded – thrown over the back of the sofa – his hands went to the clasp of her bra, unfastening it deftly as she pushed his shirt off his shoulders.

"Maybe we shou–" Olivia gasped as he cupped her breasts, lifting them so his tongue could swipe over her nipple. "Rafa…"

She tapped him on the shoulder and he pulled back, looking at her with dark eyes, full of arousal and love.

"Sorry," he breathed.

"No. Don't be sorry. I was enjoying it. I was just going to suggest maybe we should move this into the bedroom."

"I…" He wasn't expecting her to suggest that, assuming she'd want to shield Noah from this particular aspect of their relationship for a while longer. "Are you sure?"

She nodded as she climbed off him and reached for his hand. "You did promise Noah you'd be around more often. Breakfast tomorrow seems like a good place to start, don't you think?"

Rafael woke first, spooned against Olivia, her hair tickling his nose. Drawing his arms from around her gently, he pushed himself up on his elbow to look at her. She was beautiful, lying there with the thin streams of sunlight shining on her face. Not that she wasn't beautiful all the time, but there was something about seeing her like this; peaceful, vulnerable, that took her beauty to a whole new level. Perhaps it was the newness; this was, after all, only the second time he'd woken up next to her.

Glancing at the clock, he figured there was still a little bit of time before Noah would be awake, so he slid from the bed and padded across the room to the en suite. After a quick shower he dressed in yesterday's suit – thankful that he kept a spare one at his office – and headed to the kitchen to make a start on breakfast.

He knew Noah loved blueberry pancakes and, after a quick scout around the kitchen, found the ingredients he would need to make them. He had just finished preparing the batter, when he heard a door open at the back of the apartment. Placing the wooden mixing spoon in the dishwasher, he leant around the kitchen archway to see Noah heading towards his mom's room.

"Buenos Dias, mi amigo!" Rafael whispered, just loud enough to get the boy's attention. He wanted to give Olivia the opportunity for a few extra minutes in bed.

It's took Noah a few moments to realise what was going on, but when his sleep-addled brain caught up, his face broke into a smile. "Uncle Rafa!" He ran down the hallway and skidded to a stop in front of Rafael.

Rafael scooped him up and sat him on the counter. Noah eyed the bowl of mixture on the counter and his smile grew wider. "Are you making pancakes?"

"Yeah. Someone told me Eddie likes blueberry ones, so I thought I'd make him some. You want to go get him?"

Noah shook his head, giggling. "Eddie doesn't eat pancakes. You're silly, Uncle Rafa."

Rafael feigned disappointment. "Oh. Well then, who's going to eat all these pancakes?"

"I will!" Noah declared. "And momma and you can have some too."

"That sounds like a great idea. Do you want to help?

The two of them got to work, Noah washing the blueberries while Rafael heated up the pan and poured in the batter. Noah gasped in awe when Rafael expertly flipped the first pancake, his eyes fixated on it as glided into the air and then landed back safely in the pan.

"That was awesome!" he exclaimed.

Rafael smiled down at him as he returned the pan to the heat to cook the other side of the pancake. Once cooked, he slid it onto a plate and put it in the oven to keep warm. Picking up the bowl, he paused before pouring the batter.

"You want to flip the next one?" he asked Noah.

"Yeah!"

"Okay, then."

When the second pancake was ready for flipping, Rafael helped Noah to kneel on one of the stools he'd dragged around from the other side of the breakfast bar, so he could stand behind him and help guide him with what to do. He brought the pan over, cautioning the boy against touching it and helped him grip the handle safely.

"Okay, so after three, we're going to flick the pan upwards." Rafael explained. "You ready?" Noah nodded so Rafael began the countdown. "Three… Two… One… Go!"

The pancake flew into the air and, with a bit of creative movement from Rafael, it landed back in the pan to loud cheers from Noah. Rafael returned it to the stove as Noah continued his celebrations.

"We did it! We did it!"

"Did what, sweet boy?" Olivia's voice called as she stepped into the kitchen, Noah's cheering having woken her.

"Uncle Rafa and I are making pancakes and we threw it into the air and caught it again."

"Wow! Well done, baby." Olivia bent to kiss his curls.

"And I washed the blueberries all by myself," he told her proudly, pointing to the bowl on the counter.

Rafael was pouring the third pancake into the pan when Olivia sidled up beside him and placed a hand on his back.

"Good morning."

He turned to face her, and it took all his willpower not to lean over and kiss her, but he was conscious of Noah's presence, so settled for flashing her a warm smile. "Morning."

"You didn't have to cook breakfast, y'know."

He reached for the coffee pot and poured a cup. "My abuelita would come back to haunt me if I didn't."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "She told you to make breakfast for a woman after sleeping with her?"

Rafael chuckled. "Not exactly, but she did raise me to a be gentleman. So…" he handed her the coffee he'd just poured. "…Go. Sit. And let me and mi amigo here finish breakfast." He placed his hands on her shoulders and ushered her out of the kitchen.

"Well, in that case, I think I'll go get ready."

"We'll keep it warm for you."

The boys worked together to finish breakfast and – having showered the previous evening – it wasn't long before Olivia re-joined them, dressed and ready for the day.

"Can we have pancakes every day, Uncle Rafa?" Noah asked.

After cautioning Noah about talking with his mouth full, Olivia caught Rafael's eye over the top of the boy's head. His eyes were wide, looking for help in answering. With a reassuring smile, she gave a nod, which he quickly returned, just like in the courtroom. She was giving him permission, trusting him.

"Well… I… I won't be here for breakfast every morning," Rafael began, "but, when I am we can have whatever you want. That okay?"

Noah smiled happily. "But I think you should be here all the time! Then we could eat pancakes and play Lego. That would be the best!"

Rafael felt his eyes grow damp at the boy's words; suddenly overcome with emotion. Sitting there, at the breakfast table with Olivia and Noah, he knew with the utmost certainty that this was what he wanted for the rest of his life. It may have only been a couple of months, but the picture that Noah painted, though slightly unrealistic, was one he wanted to be part of.

He raised his eyes to meet Olivia's gaze once more, finding her eyes glistening too.

"I love you," she mouthed.

Rafael smiled and nodded. He couldn't quite form words at the moment.

Olivia dispatched Noah to get ready for school, before he noticed Rafael's reaction to his words. Once the boy was down the hall, she reached for his hand. "You okay?"

He nodded. "He really wants me here."

The awe in Rafael's voice gave Olivia butterflies. She squeezed his hand. "We both do."

Her words made Rafael smile grow wider, and he turned his hand in his to interlace their fingers. "Good. Because there's nowhere else I'd rather be."

The moment was broken by the sound of a key in the front door. "That'll be Lucy," Olivia told him.

Rafael looked around, not quite sure what to do with himself. "I…"

Olivia smiled – he was adorable when he was flustered – and patted his hand. "It's fine, Rafa," she told him and stepped into the living room to greet her nanny.

"Hi Lucy."

"Hi Liv. Something smells good."

"That would be Rafael's culinary skills."

At the sound of his name, he stood. "Lucy," he greeted.

"Mr Barba? Hi."

The young woman looked knowingly between the two of them, him dressed in the same clothes he'd been wearing the previous evening when he'd come to watch Noah.

"I should, erm, go and hurry Noah along," he mumbled, beating a hasty retreat to the back of the apartment.

The two women shared a look, Olivia shaking her head at his ridiculous behaviour as she cleared the breakfast dishes. "Sorry about him."

Lucy waved her off and followed her boss into the kitchen. "So, you and Mr Barba, huh?" she asked with a smirk.

Olivia couldn't help the small smile that crept onto her face. "It's still new, but yeah, me and Barba."

Lucy smiled. "For what it's worth, I think it's a good fit."

Olivia glanced up to see Noah bound into the living room, dressed for school, sneakers in hand. He watched as Rafael settled him on the sofa and helped him tie his laces; carefully showing him, step by step. Her smile grew. "Yeah, it is." She turned back to Lucy, her expression growing serious. "Listen, given our working relationship, Rafael and I need to be discreet about this latest… development."

Lucy held up a hand. "My lips are sealed."

"Thank you. You deserve a raise."

"Well, I won't argue with you," Lucy replied with a slight chuckle.

"No, but my bank manager might," Olivia said with an apologetic shrug. She made a mental note to get Lucy and exceptionally good gift at Christmas.

Lucy laughed. "No worries. Now, I'd better get Noah to school." She rounded the breakfast bar and picked up Noah's coat and bag. "Come on buddy, time to go."

Noah shuffled to the edge of the sofa but paused, turning to Rafael. "Will you be here later?"

"I don't know, mi amigo. That depends on work. But if not, I'll see you soon, okay? Maybe we can go to the park at the weekend."

Noah turned to look at his mom. "Can we Momma?"

Olivia nodded, approaching the sofa. "Of course, sweet boy. Now, get your coat on or you'll be late."

Noah did as requested, and Rafael and Olivia walked he and Lucy to the door. Olivia kissed her son goodbye and Rafael ruffled the boy's curls. "Have a good day, mi amigo. Make sure you listen to your teachers and learn lots."

Noah nodded. "Bye Momma. Bye Uncle Rafa. Love you!"

"Te amo mi amigo," Rafael whispered as he stood in the doorway, his arm around Olivia's shoulders