June 6th, 1997
She was just sitting there. That was it – sitting there – like some naive, feeble little thing. He knew better. He knew that despite her closed eyes, despite being wrapped in thick cables that kept her from hurting him, despite it all, Audrey Potter was dangerous. He twirled his wand in his hand, comforted by keeping it close, though he made sure that he was watching her even closer. Sure, she looked like she was really stuck in the binds right now, but Theodore knew better. Theodore knew that Audrey Potter was dangerous and a murderer and would stop at nothing to get what she wanted.
Besides, he liked seeing her naive and feeble – just like his father had been on the night she had killed him.
The illusion shattered instantaneously; her eyes opened, her lungs heaved for air as if she had just run a mile. Theodore knew to feel suspicious and he knew he was right to be – Audrey was full of tricks and he had no doubt that she had just used any and all of them to try and escape.
"Theodore," his eyes moved to glare at her again. It was all he could do now. When he looked at her, he remembered the gift she had given him: the memory of his father's death. It was all he could see: the violence, the anger, the monster that had not hesitated to maim, torture, and kill. "Theodore, these Death Eaters are going to kill everyone-"
"Not anyone here," he muttered, looking away from her. Though he had jumped at the opportunity to keep his father's murderer in her place, he wasn't exactly on board with the reasoning. Draco had said the students would be safe, particularly the Slytherins who were locked away in the common room. They had no reason to worry and he promised they could remain unaware that they couldn't leave, distracted by the party that raged outside his dormitory door. "And since when did you care about killing people?"
"Theodore, don't make this about the Department of Mysteries," she shook her head. Theodore immediately bristled, as if she were denying that the day his father died was unimportant. "This is so different."
"Everything is about what you did in the Department of Mysteries, Potter," he snarled, trying hard to bite back the hysterical laughter that bubbled in his chest. Look at what they'd all become, all because she couldn't pick a side. Because she refused to be loyal to anyone but herself...these were the consequences she had always seen herself above. Now he would take pleasure in drowning her in them. "You don't realize what you did to the people around you. You don't realize how you ruined all of our lives."
"Theo, what I did to your dad was...it was horrid," she stopped herself, closing her eyes. Maybe she remembered it as vividly as he did, or maybe she was playing on heartstrings again – she had a natural talent with it. Didn't she always say that she could get away with anything? Didn't she always say that no one could outsmart her? "But I didn't mean to kill him. Never, in my life, would I have purposefully killed the father of my best friend, Theodore. If you can never forgive me...I understand that. But you have to know that I didn't mean it."
"You didn't mean it when you burnt his face until he died, Audrey?" he sneered. "Really?"
"I didn't," she shook her head animatedly, trying to look innocent. Yes, she fooled lots of people with those giant green eyes of hers. She'd even managed to fool Draco. "When I started burning him I was trying to make him flinch away. When Bellatrix's spell hit...I don't know. I don't know how long I held on for. I don't know how long I was under the spell for..."
"Don't make excuses," he whispered, looking away from her. He knew that what she was saying was true: he'd seen it. He had witnessed Lestrange's spell hit the two of them, he'd witnessed the pain of the curse itself, but that didn't mean she hadn't meant to kill him beforehand. "You were the one that killed him."
"It was me," he was shocked by how easily she agreed with him. "But then again, you tried to poison me the other week, so..."
"I didn't try to poison you," he rolled his eyes, scoffing to himself. He would not stoop so low. "Little Greengrass had measured out three times the dose I had; I convinced her that seeing you suffer was better than seeing you dead."
"So...you saved me?"
He sneered, hating the hope in her voice. He didn't want her to hope that things were better – they weren't. Sure, he had wanted her to suffer, but he was above murder. Even he didn't want to see her die. Still, he couldn't let her know that was his weakness; he knew Audrey Potter better than anyone else in the world, even better than her brother and Snape and Draco, and he knew that as soon as she found a weakness, she would abuse it until she had enough of that weakness and the power from it to waste. His weakness was her strength: there was nothing Audrey Potter wouldn't do to get her way. Theodore kept to his boundaries.
"Don't get any higher on yourself," he snapped. "Not all of us want to be murderers."
"I know...so don't let me be one again," she took a deep breath, her eyes firmly placed on him, searching for his weakness as she always did. "Please don't make me be the one who lets all these other people die, Theo. Please."
"You just want to run," he accused. He was surprised by how insulted she immediately looked.
"Theodore, please remember that every problem you have ever blamed me for is because I refuse to run away. This, the Department of Mysteries, the Triwizard Tournament, the altercations with Umbridge and the Squad...you can say a lot about me, but I do not run."
That was something he'd never considered – well, sure, he'd considered it, but he'd been biased for and then against her when he had. She did not run; that was true and he hated to admit it. She had never run away from her problems, she had always faced them head-on – it caused all the problems that the two of them had ever faced. She was always so abrasive, so daring, she had never fit in like she should have.
"Theo, I don't expect you to ever forgive me – but can you forgive yourself if anyone in this castle dies because I wasn't there to warn them?" She was trying to guilt him, this he knew. She was a master of it, but still, the fact rang true: people could die tonight. Death Eaters could be thirsty for blood and he was one of the only people that had been forewarned they were on the hunt.
Salazar's spit...she was right. As much as he hated it, she was right. It had been a long time since he had seen Audrey Potter care about something to bring out all the stops as she had – the abuse, the manipulation, even the guilt. Since what had happened in the Department of Mysteries she had thrown it all away in recompense for what had happened. And to think, Theodore – the man she had thrown all her tricks away for – was the first to have them used on him again.
There was a moment, a quick moment, where he smiled grimly. "I missed that."
She looked confused, as if she hadn't expected her mastered methods to work. "What?"
"When you fight back," he responded, sighing to himself as he flicked his wand and watched the binds slither from around her and loosen. He couldn't tell whether he was proud of his decision or if he resented himself for it. "This doesn't mean I forgive you."
"I never expect you to," she grinned that victory grin of hers, though she tried hard not to seem arrogant. Theodore, however, saw it. She had always been so competitive. She took the time, despite her rush, to rip each and every loosened bind from her skin. "Thank you."
As much as he watched her tear each rope and take more time than he would have, he had to wonder: why risk this? Was it just a chance for more bloodshed, or was she actually doing something for the betterment of someone else?
"Is it true?" Theodore asked, his voice suspicious. Audrey stopped what she was doing; it appeared that she wanted to give him her undivided attention, despite the hurry. "Is it true that you two love each other?"
"I love Draco so much that I still haven't told anyone what he's done," she answered, her voice weak. Were it strong, perhaps Theodore would have doubted her, perhaps Theodore would have heard a lie...but the weakness, the vulnerability, the sound of regret in her voice made his resolve start to crumble. "Is that enough of an answer?"
"Keep him safe, Audrey."
She didn't care to respond to him, she simply rushed from the dormitory. Theodore took his time following. He couldn't tell how to feel about what had just transpired – was it a mistake, letting her go? Would this be the first time that Audrey Potter thought it better to run?
He ambled his way into the common room, as he approached he could hear how it entirely contrasted to what had happened in the dormitory. Everyone in there was alive with excitement; the party was in full swing and everyone wreaked of Firewhiskey and bad decisions. The sound coming from the room was not deafened by the feet of concrete and rock, but rather the protection spells he and Draco had cast hours before. Just as he made it to the opening of the common room, he heard a terrible, deafening explosion. It silenced all other sounds, even the lights seemed to dim with worry. Running the eight feet to see what had happened, he saw that there was dust and rubble settling around that insane little girl, who was inspecting the small hole she had made in the wall with ire.
"What are you doing?" Daphne asked while Theodore approached. Audrey held the blonde's shoulders in her hands, holding her steady. "Why are you blasting up the room?"
"You cover up this hole and barricade yourselves as soon as I'm out, do you understand? Don't let anyone in until the morning." She demanded. Daphne, finally, started to kick away the Firewhiskey that soaked her thoughts.
"What's going on?"
"The Death Eaters are in the castle," her announcement started the whispers; the deafened room had not caught its rhythm in time to ignore her words. The whispers spread throughout the entire House as if they were actually surprised that something like this could happen – had they not seen the side as Theodore had? Could they not tell what would happen, how everyone had known that the battle was brewing? "The Slytherins have been given immunity from them as long as you stay in here – but I wouldn't trust it if I were you. I have to go and make sure everyone's okay."
"Audrey, no," Daphne gasped, grabbing onto Audrey's shoulders and making a barricade away from the others around them. This was a private moment that was heard by all because of the shocked and terrified silence around them. "You're a Slytherin. Don't go out there; let the others fend for themselves. Just stay-"
"Not while Draco's out there," she demanded. "Keep everyone in this room!"
She climbed out without another word, crawling through the two foot hole in the wall on her belly. Theodore was glad to see that very few others would have been able to fit through considering how extremely tiny she was; it would make for an easy patch.
Daphne, suddenly sobered and completely terrified, looked like her mind was running a mile a minute. She took a few long moments before she finally turned to him with wide eyes and a demanding tone. "What did you do?"
"Me?" He made a face. He and Daphne had grown close thanks to being in close quarters – he was not yet seventeen and had no legal guardians left; he was stuck between scraps from the Malfoys or shmoozing with the Greengrasses. She had been his best bet, despite her obvious crush on him. He couldn't deny though, hearing that tone that was only ever taken when Audrey Potter was involved, made him feel small...especially from her.
"What's going on? Where were you and she?"
Ah, he hadn't really thought up of an appropriate lie and it was not his forte like it was his friends'. He scrambled, but the slight hesitation was enough to make Daphne reach her own conclusions. She came toward him, shoving him with all her might. "You bastard!"
"I didn't do anything!"
"That's the problem, isn't it?" She accused him. "Why would Audrey be left with you and then burst into action? Dammit, Theo, you're supposed to be the level-headed one!"
"How the hell did this land back on me?" His eyes narrowed. "I get that you want to keep best friends with Audrey and all, but that's not really the fairest conclusion to jump to, is it? She's the one who decided to go out and save the world like her stupid brother-"
"And what did you do to make her?" Daphne walked forward, popping out her hip and placing her clenched fist on it. Theodore raised his eyebrows, surprised by her tone. He'd kind of hoped that because of her little weakness for him, she'd just assume he was in the right.
Apparently that was not tonight's plan.
"Daphne, Draco has everything under control. He-"
"What about Draco?" Pansy Parkinson had lurched through the crowd, waiting for any gossip that she could insert herself into. Theodore could say this: no matter how much he hated Audrey Potter for what she had done, he still hated Pansy Parkinson. Whether he hated her more, he wasn't sure, but after everything the three Slytherins had been through it was impossible to forgive her.
"Nothing," Theodore said at once.
"No," Blaise stepped forward, an arm around Tracey Davis' shoulder. "What are you lot talking about? You're ruining a perfectly good party with your angst, Nott."
"There's no angst," he said quickly. "Nothing's going wrong, everything's under control, Potter has gone to ensure it. Since we know she always saves the day, why don't we-"
His words were stolen from him by a rumble from the south wall. It was the entrance to the Common Room and the party silenced once again while they listened. Was Audrey back already? She was supposed to go get Draco and stop him – she oculdn't have done that so quickly.
"'Ello? Look a' this, Amycus! They won' let us in. You got a par'y goin' on in there?" A high voice interrupted, freezing Theodore's blood cold. "I smell Firewhiskey...and traitors."
"Alecto Carrow," Lillian breathed. He hadn't really noticed when she ahd stepped forward with the group of them, but it was certainly easy to watch her stumble away from the door as if it had just nipped at her. "What is she doing here?"
"Audrey was right," Daphne breathed. "The Death Eaters are in the castle."
"Come out, come out, 'oo-ever you are!" She sang again. "I want the traitors blood! The Potter, she's in there, ain' she? Bring 'er out, an' all the other 'alfbloods, too!"
"Le' us in," her brother, as rotten as she was, sang through the wall. Theodore's eyes pulled themselves to the hole that had yet to be patched up...where the lanky, twisted twin watched them with a grin. "We can 'ave fun too."
"Depulso!" Theodore's head snapped over to Daphne, who was the first who had moved to action, shoving all the rubble back where it came from with her charm.
A rumble came again, this time more dust had to settle as the Carrow siblings attempted a similar curse that Audrey had escaped with. They were trying to break in. Blaise immediately looked towards Tracey, whispering to her as she shook her head worriedly, half looking ready to flee and half to go out there with her fists swinging. Beside them, Lillian and Daphne were already at work setting up more charms.
"What did you do, Theodore?" Daphne demanded, both girls glaring at Theodore as if he were the one threatening, attacking them...
Then again, because of his involvement...wasn't he?
"Come on," Tracey encouraged, opening the door to her dormitory and letting everyone file in. It had taken her the longest to forgive him for his involvement the night that Dumbledore had died, but she had been talked down by Daphne and Lillian who were both much more concerned about their other dorm mate. The blonde girls in question looked nervously over to the curtain-drawn bed that may as well have been gathering dust – Audrey Potter had barely left the confines of those curtains in four days now and the brood of Slytherins was ready to change that. Still, none of them wanted to poke the dragon.
Blaise, deciding to take the lead, took a deep breath and moved toward the bed, ripping away a section of the draping with one swift movement.
"Up," he ordered. The pale figure in the bed immediately shielded herself from the light that filtered in from the holes in the torn fabric, whether it was to hide her eyes or her appearance, Theodore wasn't sure. "It wouldn't be so surprising if you'd stop being such a prat, Potter."
"What do you want, Zabini?" The voice that came from behind the small hand was hoarse and lifeless. She threw her pillow over her face so that no one could see the mess she was in and hopefully so that she would be left alone – but the Slytherins were not about ready to give up on her.
"Besides for you to take a bloody shower?" Blaise drawled, his voice less sharp than he usually had it. He sighed, realizing that even then it was still too harsh before he moved forward, almost as if to comfort her. He quickly decided better of it and started ripping the curtains some more, so that there was truly no escaping from the light. "I want you to stop feeling like everything's your fault. I hate martyrs."
"Luckily I don't give a flying fart what you think," she muttered. Daphne sent a worried look over to Theodore, her eyes skirting over to Audrey before she motioned for him to give it a try. He wasn't a fool; he knew why he was here. He was here because he was the only one that would be able to sway Audrey at all – it had always been that way. Now that she had killed his father, her guilt was even thicker than the guilt she could inspire in others.
Theodore went up and roughly pulled the pillow from her face, taking in the mess in front of him. She looked like she had just come from the battle itself – had she changed since he had held her prisoner? Had she moved? Just by looking at her, he would have guessed she hadn't. The flare in her angry eyes disappeared when they finally focused on him; her fight left her as she realized why they would finally bring him in to finish the job.
"Is the funeral today?"
"Yes," he told her simply, his voice could not find the sorrow for her that he had promised Daphne...but there was understanding. For once, he didn't doubt that she may understand his pain. He could see that she did. "You'll be going if I have to drag you there myself."
"It doesn't matter how thin I am, I will not make that easy," she tried to distract from the poorly worded threat by running her hands through her hair, only to get her fingers caught. She seemed to revel in the pain it caused as she forced her fingers to break through her tangles.
"Luckily I don't give a flying fart," he used her words, rolling his eyes as he did so. She scoffed at him, though quietly, still not quite ready to insult him openly. "If you're feeling so guilty than you may as well be using it in a productive way – like attending the funeral of the person you feel guilty over doing whatever it is you did. It could be alleviating."
"Or disastrous," she mumbled, her eyes examining who all had come to her pity-party with her. Theodore could just imagine how Daphne, behind him, was squirming to comfort her in some way – it was hard to remember back two years ago when Daphne wouldn't have. They had all changed so much; it was strange to remember their roots still intertwined. Potter's eyes flickered to someone behind him, someone who obviously didn't budge under her gaze before landing on him. "Come on, we know that you two would love to feed me to the wolves. People don't want me there now that they know the part I played-"
"You're forgetting all the different parts you played," Daphne spoke up, her voice sounded desperate for Audrey to understand that she was accepted by their snake-headed society. "You warned the entire school about the threat."
"And then let the threat escape," her voice broke as she said it and she shoved her head into her hands, just in case she was about to cry – she had always done that. She hated showing that weakness. "I let them run."
"Most people don't know that part," Tracey answered, sounding nervous. Theodore looked around, watching as Tracey and Blaise threw motions back to one another; Tracey was trying to get Blaise to back her up – he was refusing. Audrey sighed, catching the argument.
"A lot of the Slytherins feel indebted to you," Lillian explained after she realized that Tracey's try at a strategy would not work. "If you hadn't told Daphne to barricade the wall, if you hadn't have warned us, we never would have been able to be ready for when Alecto Carrow was down here..."
"We stick to our own, Audrey," Daphne stepped forward, as if she were stepping forward to stand with Audrey and her beliefs. "And you did that by warning us. The Slytherins are not only realizing that but they're appreciating it."
"And the other parts of the night?" Audrey looked up from her hands, her eyes as accusing as her sharp words. Her voice was lower now, effected by grief and rage – this was what Theodore now understood the most. "What have you heard about that?"
No one could meet her eyes then. How could they? They knew what they had heard and Theodore knew it to be true – after she had raced after Draco like that, how couldn't it be? Still, that grief and rage was what he understood and it only seemed right for him to be the one who could finally empathize with her.
"You let Snape and Draco go," Theodore refused to look away from her. He wanted her to know that it was not wrong, what she had done. She had proven to a lot of people – including him – that maybe she wasn't so one-dimensional. He had started to remember that despite her preaching and bitching, she had always stuck up for them in the end. "You saved them from a life at Azkaban – if not worse."
"You didn't make them do anything, Audrey," Daphne agreed, taking a step forward as she weaved her fingers through each other again. "You let them make their own choices."
"Choices that got people killed," she barked out, her eyes clashing against Theodore's as they welled. "And those are bad choices."
Yes, Theodore could acknowledge just how many of those bad choices Audrey Potter had made in the past few years, but instead he tried to think about the better ones she had made just this week. He could never get through this if he continually thought back to that foggy silver memory up in the now-deceased headmaster's office...
"They were bad choices," Theodore acknowledged, nodding his head slightly with his voice meaningful. "But they were the right ones to make."
Audrey nearly started crying. He could see the tears, anyone could have seen them, which was why Daphne – knowing Audrey's pride would be wounded – sprang to action.
"Let's get you ready," Daphne broke the silence, moving over to one of the wardrobes. "You shower while I find the most suitable outfit."
It took a lot of hassling and a horrible whiff of depression and sweat before Audrey Potter agreed to climb into the shower. While she did that, the girls whispered to themselves, going through her closet and eyeing the boys as if they had done something wrong.
"You seem less like an arse," Blaise commented while he leaned against Potter's bedframe with Theodore.
"Funny, you seem more like one," Theodore muttered. Blaise, always up for a challenge, smiled and patted his housemate on the back.
"Nearly there, Theodore," he smiled. "You're nearly back."
Daphne tittered happily only a few moments later, pulling out a set of green robes and holding them in front of her with a smile. She examiend them closely, as Theodore always saw her examine her own clothing, before the smile fell as if she had just been told it was thrift-wear.
"Oh no," she looked back in the closet over her shoudler, gripping onto the fabric. "Is this really all she has?"
"Oh no!" Lillian's voice was much higher and much more sad. "Is that..."
"The dress that pretty much represents Draco?" Daphne looked back to the dress with a scowl. "Yes."
"Can't she wear it anyway?" Blaise asked, blinking. "It's just a dress, it's not a ring."
"You are so heartless!" Lillian cried. "She loves him, Blaise, and he just-"
"I'll set it in there," Daphne sighed. Tracey moved to argue with her but Daphne frowned. "It's a funeral, Davis. It's all she has..."
Needless to say, when Audrey walk out of the lavatory she was clean, she even looked as if she had rubbed her skin raw, but she was still dressed in her dirty clothes that had not been changed since her depression had began.
"Why aren't you wearing your robes?" Daphne asked, though her voice was more disgusted by the smell of her old laundry than disappointment.
"I'm not wearing them," her voice was flat, but strong. "I'm not going to the funeral either."
"Audrey," Lillian sighed, trying to keep her eyes on her friend – it was hard. Audrey's big, green eyes were able to lure anyone in on a good day. But on a bad day? They looked about as toxic and poisonous as acid. It felt like it would burn Theodore if he held her gaze for too long. "You can't just miss it."
"I won't miss it," she shook her head, playing with the fraying hem of her robes. She looked nearly as vulnerable as she often pretended to be. Again, not for the first time this week though still after she had murdered his last living parent, Theodore was nearly afraid for her emotional well-being. "I just won't go with everyone else. I have no right to be there with everyone else and quite honestly, I don't want to be. I don't belong with them, I don't belong here."
"That's not true-"
"It is true," she snapped, sounding more than finished with the subject. "That's what this whole thing has boiled down to: I had to make the hard choices. I may or may not have made the right ones-" her eyes caught Theodore's, who bowed his head. He did not want that anger to fill him up again – not when he was finally feeling ready to move on. "None of us have made the choices that we're going to have to. But we have to. We have to decide what's important and protect those things. We have to pick sides. All of us."
"We can't just pick sides. That's not how it works," Blaise, like the rest of the Slytherins, hated being told what to do; Audrey Potter was no exception to the rule. If anything, the fact it was coming from her only made it worse.
"Audrey, it's not that simple," Lillian agreed, sounding nervous, knowing where the conversation was going.
"I'm not saying it's simple, I'm saying it's what's right to do. I'm not saying that you need to join the Order of the Phoenix and I'm definitely not promoting getting the Dark Mark on your arms..." she shivered, closing her eyes against a memory that Theodore was sure had to do with Draco. "But it's time to decide. We're not just kids anymore; we're kids in the middle of a war. People are going to die...the question is which of those people you'll fight to save."
No one spoke, no one moved. There were too many thoughts in the air to speak around them.
"That's what Dumbledore was trying to teach me all year – and I've picked my side. You need to pick yours." She sounded so sure that she nearly swayed Theodore on the spot. But no – there were more variables than that; she had been the advocate for saying things were not that simple – for her to go back on her own words only made the bitterness begin to creep in again.
"We'll die," Theodore stated blandly. "Some of us don't have the choice that you do."
"Yes you do. Of course you do. Draco did, I did – clearly we chose differently, but that doesn't mean..." she shook her head as she cut off her own words, her voice breaking under her own sour words. "I understand that you will choose whatever you choose and don't make your decisions based on me – make your decision based on who you want to see alive when we've seen this through."
No one disputed her – how could they? The Slytherins had known that this was ending in a war and they knew that they were straddling both the winning and losing sides. The problem with straddling that line was that they didn't know which side they would fall into when they stretched out too far and lost their balance.
It seemed Daphne switched her footing first.
"Get changed," she demanded, going up to her and placing a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm not going to the funeral."
"Oh, I know you're not going to the funeral," her voice was unimpressed, but not as rude as Theodore would have expected from her. "But if I'm going to spend any more time with you, I'd really like the ability to breathe through my nose."
Theodore didn't know how to feel. While Dumbledore's funeral was emotional, from the speeches to the entombing, all he could think about were Audrey's words: choose a side. He knew why she had demanded it, he understood why it had to be done, but how could he just choose? Other than the Greengrasses and select other families, he didn't know anyone that was neutral or on the Order's side – everyone was for Pureblooded elitism; it was how he was raised. He had already doubted their beliefs but after meeting people like Audrey and Tracey he had completely renounced it. He'd done his part...so did he now want to renounce everything he was?
Beliefs changed all the time, but did loyalty?
How could you ever be considered loyal if you changed sides?
"It's exactly what Dumbledore would have thought out," Audrey spoke. For a moment, it sounded like she was answering Theodore's thoughts, but after a moment he knew she was talking about the final moments of Albus Dumbledore's funeral. It was the first time she had spoken since she'd dragged Theodore and Daphne up the Astronomy tower and between the parapets lining the edge – they sat exactly where Dumbledore had taken his last breath.
"It's devastating," he could barely hear Daphne – who was snuggled in the parapet on the other side of Audrey – all the way over on his left hand side. Both girls dangled their legs, as if daring gravity to try and claim them.
"I guess I never thought Draco would do it. I think it's why I let you go to him – just in case he would." Theodore hated admitting this because he wasn't sure if it was true. Draco had seemed so sure – it was Audrey or Dumbledore. That's what he'd said.
Had he let Draco go because secretly, deep down, he couldn't dare to have Audrey sacrificed?
Or had he left Draco go simply so he could make Audrey suffer as he had?
Was it out of honour or hate that he had let Draco destroy his own life?
"Well, he didn't," Audrey answered shortly, her voice quivering with what Theodore could easily identify as loathing. Loathing for herself or for Draco, a stranger wouldn't have been able to tell – but Theodore knew it was directed solely onto herself. As much as had changed between them, that strange understanding – though mutated – stayed true.
"I never thought Snape would have done it either," Theodore said quickly, trying to ease her self-hate. If she could blame anyone, she should blame the man who had really cast the last spell. "Quite honestly I never thought he would die."
"It makes sense," her voice was quiet, more pensive. "Considering my visions and the lessons I was having with him. It was like he expected it."
"Poor Draco," Daphne sniffled again. Theodore felt his stomach drop again – yes, poor Draco. Though Theodore knew better than to mention him more than he had to, even he was not ready to do that to Audrey, to mention him. And besides that, there was the fact that made him wonder over his part in Draco's plan...his part in the plan that had set everything in motion. Had Theodore not helped him, had he not held Audrey back, would Dumbledore be dead? Would that blood be on Snape and Draco's hands? Would Audrey have been able to stop him? Would Audrey have been able to save Draco from himself like Theodore knew she had tried?
Was this more his fault than hers?
The guilt was all-consuming. Was this how Audrey felt all year? Because if this how he felt with a possibility of blood on his hands, he couldn't begin to imagine what he would have felt like if he was in Audrey's position. Is this why she was so weak, so vulnerable all year? Is this why she had stopped fighting – because the guilt had destroyed all hope to win?
If she felt even a fraction of his pain, he should reconsider how he was treating her.
He probably wouldn't...he was still so hurt...but maybe he should.
"People are getting ready to leave," Theodore stated, clearing his throat from all of the concerns that had built up in it. Looking down on the grounds, there was a procession of witches and wizards that had finally started to move. There were even some straggling bodies headed back to the castle – closer, walking alone, there was a familiar head of moppy hair that caught his attention. "Is that your brother?"
He could see Audrey lean out of her parapet to try and get a better look – the girl had always needed glasses and it was ridiculous to assume that she'd be able to see Harry on the ground when half the time she could barely read the black-board.
"Is he talking to a lion?" She finally asked. Theodore looked more closely and groaned when he realized who her stupid brother had been cornered by.
"That's Harry and he's talking to the Minister," Daphne affirmed, leaning forward in the same way that Audrey had. "Do those two tend to chat often?"
"Just when the Minister wants something," her voice sounded frustrated. "Do they look upset?"
"When doesn't your brother look upset?" Theodore responded in the same tone.
"Touché," Harry's friends had caught up with him, which only seemed to make the Minister's actions more violent. Apparently they were arguing – it was the effect Harry Potter had on most sane wizarding folk.
"Have you talked to him yet?" Theodore asked Audrey, leaning forward to try to see her and indicating down to her brother. He saw her shoulders move but her feet start to beat against the stone tower nervously – the little liar had more little tells than she thought she did.
"No," and by her tone, Theodore could tell she planned to avoid it as much as possible.
"Don't you think you should do that before you're on the Express?" He asked again, stating the obvious. She would have to sit with her brother after everything that had happened – didn't she see the potential for angry students coming to blame her and her escaped lover for Dumbledore's death?
"Do I have to?"
He sighed, already becoming frustrated. He didn't want to help her, he shouldn't have to – he was the one who was healing from the loss of a parent; she'd had years to adjust. Now he was helping her? But then there was that guilt that set in. The gnawing guilt that started to eat away at his pride and his sanity – she had lost more than one person this week and there were parts that stemmed back to his involvement. The guilt – the guilt she had lived with for a year – was debilitating.
He needed to escape it.
"Yes," he told her simply, taking his wand and shooting up a large, red flame of sparks from the tip of his wand off of the edge of the Astronomy tower. He caught the eye of almost everyone gathered around for the funeral and just had the moment to think about the poor choice in colours, before the eldest Potter's attention was drawn with all the others. He hardly said another word to those around him before he bounded off toward the castle stairs.
"That wasn't kind of you," Audrey muttered, her voice morose.
"It needed to happen. Your brother is worried about you...we all are. Things are going to change now that Dumbledore's gone," Daphne's voice held the care that Theodore wasn't sure his could conjure. She climbed out from her place on the tower wall, finally flashing her red-rimmed eyes at her best friend. "You told us that we have to pick sides; you realize you have to pick too, don't you? Now's the time for you and your brother to stick together or split up...so stay safe together."
Audrey made a face.
"She's right," Theodore muttered, getting up from his own place between the high walls. She followed their actions, creating a tone of finality in the conversation. "You two are no good together if you can't decide whether you want to help each other or not."
"I'm more help to him when we aren't together," her voice was rueful. "Not that he tends to agree."
"Maybe there's a reason for that," Theodore offered, his voice as sarcastic as it was factual. "Goodbye, Potter...see you when I see you."
"Yeah," she wasn't good with goodbyes, particularly meaningful ones and Theodore himself wasn't sure he was ready to give her a nice one, so he simply readied himself to leave. "Theodore? Thank you."
He nodded, stiff and awkward as the thoughts of guilt plagued him again. Her red eyes, her dreary and blank eyes, held no malice as his did for her. Even though he was at fault, she did not blame him – was that because her crime had been more personal to him? Or was he missing something, some form of forgiveness, that she had somehow mastered before he had?
There was no reason to stay, he hated the thoughts rolling around in his head and he left so that Daphne could have some privacy with the petite redhead...who knows when they would get to see each other again, if Greengrass chose to remain neutral with her family, or risk putting them all in danger. He walked to the mouth of the tower, looking at the splintered door that no one had thought to fix yet – it had been kicked in by the same Death Eaters that had tried to come in and torture their friend. Audrey had stopped that from happening...
Theodore suddenly felt ill. He hid it behind a grim smile as Daphne came up to him, sniffling and gripping for his hand as if it were a lifeline.
"We'll never see her again," Daphne cried, "I just know it."
"I'm sure we will," Theodore sounded sure, if not unimpressed by the news because he knew the truth: Audrey Potter would not go down without a fight, and he had an idea that she would make it a big, nation-wide one. They would not be seeing the last of her.
"She finally did it you know," Daphne sniffled, looking up at Theodore with red, wet eyes. "She picked him, Harry. We'll never see her again because we can't and she did and there's no way to stop what's happening because she-"
"No she didn't."
"How can you say that?"
"She's making sure that we're spoken for and fought for, even when we might not deserve to be...no, you're wrong," Theodore sighed, admitting the truth to himself as well as her. "She picked us."
Based off of my story Green Eyed Monster.
I do not own the Harry Potter universe or its characters. I do own Audrey Potter, her ridiculously vivid potion-making skills, and her wicked nicknames.
Thanks go to Knightshade1373, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, Lynn D. Mariza, RockChic733, vmockingjay12, Dark Rose Princess, nannan, Slytherin's Strumpet, Angel of the Night Watchers, sarahmichellegellarfan1, xXFangirlingBookwormXx, bookwormqueen, Nicky-Maree, Guest (1 and 2), OSG loves to read, Ferocious Mouse, LoonyAsLuna, Geri, potterinu and Lady British for their fantastic reviews.
I hope you liked the flashback, please review! :)
-Egypt