Chapter Thirteen
Amelia climbed into John's lap, making him jerk awake. "Spaghetti Cheetos!" He exclaimed, looking around to try and get his bearings. "Huh?"
Amelia laughed, forgetting why she'd come to him for a moment. "What does that mean?"
"What?" He asked, not remembering what he'd said.
Claire snuggled her head farther into the crook of his neck, craving his touch. "You said something about spaghetti and Cheetos." She mumbled, slipping back into her slumber.
"I have no idea, what that was about." He chuckled, looking down at the sad child in his lap. "Hey… what's that face about?" He asked, letting her cuddle up to him.
She wrapped her hands in John's shirt, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I miss Monte." She sniffed, looking up at her knight. She knew that if anyone could make this better, it was him. He could fix everything, he'd even fixed her favorite baby doll when one of the older kids in the park had broken it.
John nodded, knowing that she missed her best friend. She'd had to say goodbye just a few days ago, and despite everyone telling her that they'd see each other again, there'd been enough tears to fill the Nile. "I miss my friend too." He hadn't told her about Sid yet, and he didn't want to. She was far too young to learn about all that he'd grown up in. "I miss a lot of people."
"But we'll see them, again right?" She asked, pulling on a loose thread in his flannel. "When we go back to visit?"
John nodded, resting his head on top of Claire's. "You sure will."
"What about your friends? Will you see them again?"
John looked down at her, his mind flooding with memories of Sid's body. "I don't think so."
"Why?"
He smiled at her, loving the look of innocence in her eyes. "They live in heaven now." He still wasn't sure if he believed any of that shit, but he did know that there was something out there. "I won't see them for a very long time."
She gave him a puzzled look, tilting her head to the side. "Were they old?" She questioned, unable to picture a teenager in heaven.
John shook his head, taking a slow breath. "They weren't all old. Some of them were younger than me."
"Why did they go to heaven then?" She asked, trying to fit the puzzle together in her mind.
John kissed her head, feeling Claire shift in her sleep. "They were really sick." He remembered how he had Sid would do anything to get high and escape the pain they were always in. "And there wasn't a doctor to help them."
Amelia rested her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. She always liked to hear his heart, she liked how it sounded, it was an odd comfort she'd found. The steady beat was a message telling her that everything would be okay, that everyone would be okay. "Are you still sick?"
John held her close, knowing that he couldn't tell her the truth. "I'm almost all better." He smiled. "It'll just take a little bit longer."
She closed her eyes, happy to have her knight say that. "I can't wait for you to be all the way better." She yawned.
"Me too, Squirt." He sighed, knowing that he would never be better, no matter how hard he tried. "Me too."