(Addendum- Please note that changes have been made to the Prologue in order to make a better fit within the Canon Supernatural Timeline. It also aids in this story's progression.)
Chapter 22
"Hello, boys." Crowley said, clearly pleased with himself.
Dean glared at the King of Hell as Sam looked around the room to see if anyone's attention was caught by the exchange. Nobody seemed to have noticed.
"It was you, wasn't it?" asked Sam. "In my room, and in the hallway."
Crowley raised a shot glass to his lips. "Guilty as charged, Moose." Nonchalantly he threw back the booze and laid the glass on the bar.
"What the hell are you doing here?" growled Dean.
Crowley stood and raised an eyebrow. "Ah! Having fun are we? Shall I just leave you two alone to play Hot for Teacher in this world of pointless repetition? Alright then." He raised his hand, his fingers poised in a snapping position.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" said Dean. "Hold up."
Crowley's lips curled into a cruel smile. "Didn't think so." He lowered his hand to his side.
"Did you know we were here the whole time we were gone? How long have we been gone?" asked Sam.
"Oh let's see." Crowley sarcastically started counting on his fingers. "You've been here for 2 months, sooooooo. . . ." More sarcastic counting. "Carry the one. . . ."
"Today would be nice!" Dean said shortly.
"You're no fun! Honestly you've only been gone a couple of hours. You said you were in need of a vacation, I thought this would make a nice change from your normal every day-to-day hunt and slaughter. Besides, I needed a break from my own affairs."
"What do you mean you thought it would make a nice change?" Dean said. "Cass sent us here . . . and how did you know I said we needed a vacation?"
"Oh boys, boys. Have you learned nothing from our years of friendship?" Crowley reached into his pocket and pulled out a small silver coin.
Sam and Dean looked confused for a few seconds before the memory of the coin crept back into their minds. He had used the coin before to eavesdrop on their conversations when dealing with the Four Horsemen.
"Seriously?" Dean asked Crowley. "You planted another damn coin on me? Aren't we past the whole, 'Spy vs. Spy' thing?"
"Except this time it worked out in your favor!" Crowley laughed as he put it back into his pocket.
Sam shook his head trying to wrap his mind around Crowley's confession. "Metatron put every book he'd ever read into Cass's head, and you somehow convinced him it was real?""
"Oh please. We came up with the idea together. Dean did me a solid and I wanted to return the favor. I had a nice chat with your befeathered friend and he suggested this . . . novel idea. He has his own errands to run, as do I. And now I can do them freely without that damned witch wearing me down to my last bloody nerve."
Dean looked at Crowley. "Finally got tired of Mummy Dearest?"
"Rowena?" asked Sam.
Crowley nodded. "What was it you said? 'Family don't end in blood, it doesn't start there either'?"
Sam's eyes moved between the two of them not believing his ears. Did he seriously just quote Bobby? he thought.
"I've sent the wretched witch packing. Dean convinced me of my Mother's transgressions, and after pulling her little stunt, I am finally rid of her and her treachery." Crowley sighed heavily.
"But as for this place, your impotent semi-Angel had enough mojo juice to send you off to Potterland, but I'm the one who created it."
"But . . . why?" Sam asked.
"Let me use smaller words so you can understand, Moose. You. Vacation. Me. Delivered."
"Yeah, so you said. But why here? I wanted beaches and babes. . . .not. . . not this! This is Sammy's schtick, not mine." Dean interjected.
"Well, it was either this or My Little Pony. I could send you there if you'd like." Crowley teased.
"No, no, no!" Dean said quickly.
"But why this book?" asked Sam. "Out of the entire series, this is the book you chose? The main villain isn't even in this one. I would have figured you would have plopped us down right in the middle of the Battle of Hogwarts hoping for a stray curse to finish us off."
"To be honest, I thought about it. This place is like a malfunctioning Holodeck, everything is real." Crowley admitted passively. "But, I figured I owed you one."
Sam and Dean both looked sideways at the demon.
"What?" he said defensively. "I can't be nice?"
"No!" they answered in unison.
"Alright fine!" Crowley exclaimed. "The third book sucked and I figured you could make it more interesting. And you certainly have done that, haven't you, Moose?"
Sam faltered. "Yeah, I kinda changed some things." he said scratching the back of his head. "Wait, wait! You've actually read the books?"
Crowley's eyebrows raised at the question. A moment later his brow crinkled and he hesitantly squeaked, "Well, not exactly."
The brothers continued to stare at him, waiting for him to crack.
The demon sighed and rolled his eyes. "When I was holed up in shady motels on human blood benders, I liked a little background noise, okay?"
An amused smile crept across Sam's face as he realized what Crowley was saying. "So, let me get this straight. You listened to the Harry Potter audio books . . . while getting high?"
"Only when I had company. I watched the movies on repeat when I was alone."
Dean smirked. "Crowley, you are going soft."
"Was." he said quickly. "I got better."
Sam stepped forward. "So, everything that Cass said about protecting Harry was just to throw us off guard enough to get us here?"
"Yeah. Pretty much." Crowley conceded. "The story is the same story, well, it was until you went and spiced things up."
"Right. Right." Dean continued. "Okay so, ha ha ha, very funny. The joke is over. You got us. Now send us back home."
Crowley pursed his lips. "Ooooo. Sorry. No-can-do, Dean-o!"
The brothers exchanged worrisome looks.
"What do you mean? You can't? Or you won't?" Dean pressed.
"Yes." the demon answered simply.
Dean's fist balled up tightly by his side. "Wanna run that by me again?" he asked.
"Look ladies, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have another appointment. It's been lovely." he said and turned toward the door. Sam and Dean immediately began to follow him out to the street.
As soon as they were outdoors, Dean grabbed Crowley by the shoulder and turned him hard. "Hey! Don't you walk away from us, we're not done here."
"Oh, I'm afraid we are. You see, this is a gift." Crowley said. "AND I'M NOT A BLOODY HORSE!" he bellowed.
The raised voices drew a bit of attention on the street. Sam looked their way and waved a hand to signal that everything was fine to the passersby and they went about their business.
"Once this story begins, it has to finish." said Crowley through gritted teeth. "That is how it's designed. A year here is only a day in our world. So enjoy your damned vacation! And next time don't expect me to be so exquisitely GENEROUS!"
And with that Crowley promplty Disapparated with a loud pop!
Dean did his best to stifle his frustration and growled under his breath. Students and locals again started to take notice.
Sam grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away from the front of the building and down the alley around the side.
"Not in front of the kids, Dean." he said in a low voice.
Once they were out of sight Dean punched the side of the stone building hard. A sickening crunch of bones breaking echoed through the alleyway and Dean pulled his hand to his chest craddling it.
Sam took out his wand immediately. "Let me see, Dean. Let me see."
Dean pushed him off but Sam insisted. He grabbed his wrist and took a look at the damage. The knuckles were split, a continuous dark bruise across the back of his hand had already surfaced, and the whole thing was begining to swell.
Sam had seen his brother put holes in walls all his life. He couldn't recall him ever doing this much damage to himself in one punch. Then again, he never made a habit out of punching stone walls either.
"I really hope this works." Sam said as he pointed his wand at his brother's mangled hand. "Manibus Emendo!"
A bright blue light surrounded Dean's injury and a revitalizing warmth emminated from the glow. A few seconds went by and it slowly faded. Sam held his breath as he took one of Dean's fingers and moved it slowly in a circle. It moved solidly, the bones inside intact and mended.
Sam breathed a sigh of relief. "So he did miscast it." he said to himself.
Dean was in awe. "What?" he asked shakily.
"Gilderoy Lockhart." Sam said. "He used a similar spell on Harry in his second year. But instead of healing his bones it removed them."
Dean looked horrified. "The rubber arm thing?"
"Yeah. You rmember that?"
"It's kinda hard to forget something like that. Charlie made sure I was awake during that scene . . . Oh jeeze, Charlie!" Dean remembered.
"I know." Sam nodded. "She's still out there. Those guys are still after her. I hope she made it to Bobby's cabin alright."
"Let's just hope that she had a good enough head start. If what Crowley said is true and we're only gone for a day maybe she'll be okay. As soon as we get back we need to hightail it to the cabin."
"Agreed. But first we have to survive this place for a whole school year." Sam said.
"Damn it." Dean muttered under his breath.
"And if we are stuck here, then we have to start getting closer to the main characters. We have to make them trust us."
"Okay, fine. What are you thinking?"
"Well," Sam started. "I'm thinking we need to work on Ron and Hermione first. "
"Alright, how do we do that?"
"We could start by sharing their interests. Show that we are into what they are into. From there it would be a lot easier to befriend Harry as well."
Dean nodded. "We've already have a few brownie points with him already so that's good."
"That's true. And if his two best friends say we're good, then he would be more inclined to let us in."
"Okay. So how do we get closer to the other two?"
"I have an idea about that."
Ten minutes later as the brothers entered Honeydukes, the clamour of students' laughter and chatter rose like an approaching freight train. All along the walls there were deep shelves and cubbies full of confectionary treats. Tremendous jars of wildly colored sweets rested on practically every available surface. Great heaping barrels of the stuff stood grouped together in several locations around the store, and there was hardly standing room in between them all.
Dean's mouth dropped open as he looked around. "Dude. I've died and gone to Heaven."
Sam wasn't listening, he was scanning the faces of the students looking for one in particular. After a few commotion filled minutes, he spotted the firey red tuft of hair he was looking for along the back wall of the shop.
Sam tapped Dean's chest with the back of his hand. "Hey. There he is." he said.
"Okay. What's the kid's last name again?" asked Dean.
"Weasley."
Dean grimaced. "Really? Poor kid." And with that Dean began wading through the sea of students heading in Ron's direction.
"Hello Professor!" chimed several students on his way through the crowd.
Dean did his best to smile and nod to as many as he could without losing sight of Ron. Thankfully something had the kid's attention and he hadn't moved at all. Dean also found it hard to concentrate as each student that he passed or bumped into had some sort of sacchariferous delicacy in their hands, or threatening to teeter over the edge of their overloaded armfulls.
He closed in on the boy and squeezed in between two students. Somewhere underneath the tangle of school robes and moving limbs, Dean's foot hooked on somebody's leg and he stumbled forward colliding into Ron's turned back.
''Oi! Watch it mate!" Ron said angrily turning about quickly. As soon as he realized he had just told off a teacher his face went immediately pale. "Oh! I - I am s-s-s-so sorry Professor!" Ron stammered. He continued looking up at Dean, but the of horror did not leave his face.
Dean couldn't help but laugh on the inside. He just placed a hand on Ron's shoulder. "Don't worry 'bout it kid. Weasle is it?"
"Uh, Weasley, Sir." he answered.
"Right!" Dean looked over at the shelf that had previously held Ron's attention. "What did you find there?"
"Sir?"
Dean pointed to the shelf. Ron instantly perked up when he finally realized he wasn't in trouble. "Oh! Pepper Imps, Sir."
"Pepper Imps? Never had those. What are they like?"
Ron got excited. "You've never had them? They're wicked fun. They're little black peppermints, and when you eat them smoke comes out of your nose and ears!"
Dean looked genuinely surprised. "What? Really? Awesome!"
Ron reached over and pulled a package off the shelf and handed it to Dean who read it eagerly.
"Breathe fire for your friends." Dean muttered he read aloud. "That's awesome! What else they got?" he said as he shoved the package into the crook of his arm.
Ron beamed from ear to ear. "Well this is the Special Effects Candy over here. Over there you've got nugats, and toffees, and treacle fudge!"
Dean's eyes almost rolled into the back of his head. "They got any pie?"
"They've got Cauldron Cakes and Pumpkin Pasties."
"Nah. I want something that I can really sink my teeth into, ya'know?"
"Well, then you won't be wanting the Exploding Bonbons then." Ron laughed.
"They make those?"
"They do! And Fizzing Whizzbees that lift you off the ground. And Acid Pops, and Jelly Slugs, and Ice Mice, and Licorice Wands, and -"
"Whoa, whoa! Slow down!" Dean said smiling. "Teach me your candy ways." He looked across the room where Sam stood by the door and gave him a wink.
Sam nodded and headed out to the street. He headed toward a shop at the end of the row called Scrolls and Tomes where he was sure he would find Hermione Granger.