Chapter Thirty-One
John finished his coffee, leaving the mug in the sink before starting up the stairs to Amelia's bedroom. He knocked on the door, listening as the little girl cried inside of the room. "Hey, Squirt?" He started, waiting for her to let him inside, knowing what it was like to not have any privacy and how that felt. "Can we talk?"
"Go away!" She cried, her words breaking John's heart clean in two.
John lowered himself to the floor, leaning his back against the doorframe as he let his own tears roll silently down his cheeks. He took a deep breath, letting his chest swell with air. "You know, when I was your age, I was scared all the time." He remembered fearing his father's temper, taking his chances with the gangs on the streets to avoid his old man, when he was only seven. "My Dad was always in a bad mood, and I guess I'm a little like him when I get mad."
He heard the doorknob jiggle, looking up to see the little girl wiping tears from her eyes. "Why were you mad?" She asked, cautiously stepping closer to the man on the floor.
John knew better than to touch her, remembering how he'd been petrified at human contact when he was a little kid. "I wasn't really mad… it was more of a temper tantum." He smiled as the child inched closer, knowing that he was on the right track. "You know what those are right?"
She nodded, hugging her stuffed bear close to her chest, and John noticed for the first time that she was wearing his old ratty flannel that he'd torn the sleeves off of in a fit of rage. "I get those sometimes when I'm tired, Mommy and Daddy tell me to take a nap when I get grumpy and yell."
John nodded, tugging on the frayed sleeve of his stolen shirt. "See, that's what I had." He smiled as she sat on the floor beside him, resting her head on his bare chest. "I got crabby because I was tired, and that was my way of putting myself in timeout." He ran his fingers through her hair, gently untangling the curly locks with his fingers. "I just needed time to be by myself and make myself think about what I did." He felt her little arm rub against the slightly irritated incision scar on his chest, wishing that it would finish healing so that he could wear shirts and let people touch him there without itchy burn that had plagued him since Claire had rushed him to the hospital that Monday morning. "I didn't mean to scare you, Kid."
She nodded, listening to his heart beat in his chest, remembering how it had stayed steady all through the night she'd been kidnapped, even though he'd been just as afraid as her. That was the only time she'd seen him scared, and she'd known he was scared because he'd actually tackled her brother when John had deemed him too close for comfort. "Are you scared right now?" She asked, her heart jumping into her throat as she felt his chest give a violent twitch.
He was silent for a moment, waiting to see if a seizure was going to take over, heaving a breath when he knew his body was faking him out. "I am." He sighed, hugging her closer to his side. "I'm scared that I won't be able to protect you, if some people decide to take me away in a few days."
"Why would they take you away?" She looked up at the man, noticing how his eyes were slightly more yellow from whatever emotion he was feeling. "Do they want you to live with another family?"
John chuckled, shaking his head. "No. They don't want me to live with another family." He sighed, knowing that he'd dug himself a hole he couldn't get out of. "They think that I did some very bad things, that I didn't do."
She tugged on her teddy's ear, thinking about how he always helped her feel better when she was scared. "Do you wanna borrow Teddy?" She smiled at the bear. "He always makes me feel better."
He laughed, lifting the kid into his lap. "How about we make an agreement?" He pointed to the bear. "I borrow Ted when I'm scared, and when you get scared or have a bad dream, you can sleep in my bed." He smirked, picking the child up with him as he stood. "Sound like a deal?"
She nodded, pulling on the key around his neck. "Deal."