By the time Spike returned, it was less than an hour to sunrise, and Buffy was in the early stages of panic. She had fallen asleep eventually, but tossed and turned fitfully, waking up each time that she reached out for Spike and hadn't found him.

Much to Spike's appreciation, Giles had covered the windows completely behind the thin curtains, and as a result the two slept on long after the sun had risen for the day. Nobody was keen to bother them. Spike slept for awhile, but woke before Buffy, holding her in her sleep, lost in thought.

He had searched for over an hour, unable to pick up the scent of her, before finally returning to the house. Wherever Drusilla was, she was long gone, and he hoped beyond hope that the unfortunate girl's souvenir had just been a trick of his mind.

Buffy murmured in her sleep, pulling him closer. I can't tell her, he thought. I want things to stay this way, our little honeymoon stage. He kissed her gently, and Buffy's eyes opened slowly.

"Good morning." She whispered, winding her arms around his waist.

"Morning, love." He leaned down and kissed her again, more deeply. She tried to pull away, protesting that she still had 'awful morning breath', but he ignored her.

Giving up, she leaned into it. He kissed her repeatedly, his anticipation growing, and her self-control gave way completely. She slipped his hands under her camisole, directing them onto her breasts. While his hands roamed over her chest and squeezed the sides of her body, his tongue and lips took turns exploring the exposed skin on her shoulders and neck. From this position, the scent of him was intoxicating. If she was honest with herself, the fact that he was still technically a demon did add something to the experience - breathing him in, her Slayer instincts screamed danger, and she was never one to run from danger.

For the first time since their reunion, what followed reminded her of the early days of her 'relationship' with him, when it was built on sex and lust and violence. With him ensouled, the sensations were heightened by something else... Trust, perhaps?

She felt like she could let go of herself completely with him now, but his personality was still there, his creativity. Pushing back the intrusive and sobering thought that his skill might be built on past experience, she allowed herself to respond to him, and soon after, momentarily lost the ability to think at all.

He was back in the alleyway, with Drusilla, the night she turned him. He felt it all over again, the crazed desperation for anything to distract him from the feelings of rejection and inadequacy. He was letting her bite him. She looked beautiful, her eyes were so youthful; she didn't yet carry the decades in her eyes she eventually would. Spike himself felt innocent, he didn't yet have any blood on his hands.

The empty alleyway behind him suddenly changed. They weren't alone, there was a girl there, watching, looking terrified. Drusilla released him, pouncing on the girl instead, who screamed. He froze in fear, still human, still weak. He knew her, the girl, her identity came to him in waves, memories, he had to save her. Rushing at Drusilla, he was himself again, at least in mind he was no longer William, he was Spike, and the girl was Buffy, his Buffy. Drusilla laughed and knocked him away like batting away a fly, and Spike watched, helpless, as Drusilla drained her victim dry.

Spike woke up feeling ice cold, despite the heat of the room, and of the woman still wrapped tightly in blankets at his side. The earlier parts of the morning came back to him as he shook off his nightmare. We must've fallen back asleep, after…

"Oh, bloody hell." His eyes had found the clock in the corner of the room. It was past noon, and he was in desperate need of a shower.

"What?" Buffy sat up, following his eyes to the clock. "Oh, shit." She dashed about the room. "We promised we would help Giles and Willow today, why didn't anyone wake us up?"

"Can't imagine they were tripping over themselves to knock on our door, pet." He motioned to their lack of sleepwear, and she groaned, embarrassed.

"Okay, okay." She pushed her hair out of her face. "You take the first shower, it's the door to the left of the library. Willow left some towels for us on the chair, you make a dash for it, I'll be in right after you."

"Not with me?"

In answer, she threw a pillow at him as hard as she could, which only made him chuckle to himself as he followed her direction, wrapping a towel around his waist and slipping out of the room.

Buffy looked around her. The bed was slightly askew, half the blankets on the floor, crumpled up with her shorts, her tank top and Spike's clothes from the night before. Guiltily, cursing her own poor behaviour, she slowly made the bed, retrieving the pillow she had thrown at Spike. Still waiting on his return, she picked up his clothes too, folding his jeans, and laying his leather duster out on the bed. Sticking out of the pocket, she thought she saw her own lace underwear, and blushed.

Pulling them out, she stopped suddenly, realizing it wasn't hers. It wasn't even underwear. It was a thin, delicate lace choker. The lace looked old, maybe antique, the stones in the center looked like obsidian, and possibly garnet or rubies. Her stomach dropped, realizing why it looked so familiar. Drusilla. That bastard… kept a souvenir of hers. After all this time?

Her eyes stung, the heat of humiliation and anger filling her cheeks. She shoved it back into his pocket as Spike began to open the door.

"Hey love, the knob's a bitch, you've gotta-"

She grabbed the towel and shoved past him, staring at the ground. Watching her fly across the hall, Spike heard the bathroom door slam and felt it echo in his own chest.

"Crazy bint. What'd I do this time?"

Spike waited for her to come back after her shower, but instead, she seemed to have gone straight downstairs. Frustrated and confused, he followed her. So much for that bubble.

She was sitting at the table, talking brightly to Willow, apologizing profusely to everyone for oversleeping. Giles was waving her away from the kitchen, as he made her a large sandwich; they'd missed breakfast.

Sitting down beside Buffy, Spike grumpily bid everyone a "good afternoon."

Shooting him a warning glare, Buffy looked back at Willow, letting her continue.

"- we thought we'd split up today. Xander was going to talk to the coven members, since I've gotten as much as I can. They're usually so keen to flirt with him that he might have better luck. He's probably still asleep too, so don't worry about your late start. Angel, Giles and I were going to look through the Academy library and database, and we figured you and Spike could just fill in where you'd like."

"Spike can go with Xander, I'll go with you." Buffy's voice was cold, which was not lost on anyone in the group.

"I guess I'll be off then." Spike had raised his eyebrows, but decided against arguing. Whatever I did, I'd better not poke the bear. He felt a slight pang of jealousy, realizing she would be spending the day with Angel, not him.

"You won't have to walk, at least." Giles tossed his car keys to Spike, before looking him over, transparently rethinking the idea. Still, he didn't withdraw the offer, just added a hasty "Carefully, if you please."

Shrugging, Spike ducked out of the room, avoiding Buffy's eyes. Buffy's cheeks were burning again, and she just barely managed to push the need for tears away. Willow had noticed, however, and squeezed her hand, motioning to follow her into the other room.

"What happened?" She whispered as soon as they were out of earshot of the kitchen.

"I don't know, Will," she paused. "I think Spike... might be missing the old days a bit… I found something today, in his things. I think it was an old necklace of Drusilla's."

Willow raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure? Buffy, anyone can see how he looks at you, don't scare yourself over nothing."

Buffy shook her head. "It's not just about being jealous… what if he misses being 'Spike the Big Bad?', I mean, we know plenty of evil humans, what if, even after all this, he just goes right back to it? What if his soul isn't enough to stop him from being… exactly who he was?"

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"No, I didn't… But he took so long to come back last night, he didn't get back until almost morning. I didn't worry about it then, but now, I just feel sick to my stomach. He's hiding something from me, I can feel it."

Willow gulped, starting to grow nervous. "I don't know, but we can look into it. Maybe at the library we can pull up some literature on souls, see how it really affects someone?"

Buffy nodded. At that moment, Dawn came down the stairs behind them, excitedly grabbing Buffy's attention.

"Hey, sis!" Her voice was bright, happy. She twisted on the floor, Buffy could tell she was biting down a question.

"Spit it out, Dawn." She tweaked her nose to let Dawn know she was playing, and Dawn yelped before continuing with her request.

"Sooo…" she dragged the syllable, in classic teenager fashion. "Since you guys are going to be off playing detective today, I was wondering if I could go to my friend Shireen's? She's having a bunch of girls over for a couple days since her building has an indoor pool- I'll only stay for the first night… and only if it's okay with you, that is. Giles said I could, but that was before I knew you were coming. I don't wanna just ditch you!"

Her face was so eager and pleading, Buffy laughed outright, forgetting her earlier troubles for a moment.

"Of course Dawnie, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to catch up tomorrow."

Dawn squealed excitedly, almost running Angel over in her rush to use the house phone in the kitchen. Angel threw up his hands as if surrendering, smiling as he watched her eager stampede. His smile became a touch bittersweet when he caught Buffy's eyes, but he didn't lose it altogether.

"Giles is ready for you Buffy, we'll let you eat and then we'll head out to the library. He mentioned he might have to drop off Dawn on the way, so it'll be a tight squeeze."

Buffy smiled back weakly, following him into the kitchen. This is going to be a long day.

If Xander was upset about the surprise addition to his day, he kept it to himself. Spike suspected, quite correctly, that Xander preferred to have Spike where he could keep an eye on him, as opposed to spending any 'unsupervised' time with Buffy.

Luckily, December in London meant another sunless day. The coven's cooperative housing unit was around seven miles outside the city, and they passed the drive in mostly silence, interrupted by the occasional quip from Andrew, who had insisted on coming as soon as Spike had arrived.

Since Xander's freelance carpentry work usually left him free in the afternoons, he'd spent quite a bit of his time the past few months visiting an overworked Willow at the coven and at the Academy, usually to make sure she was eating something. In her limited spare time, several of the other wiccans were aiding her in her project of helping Giles track down texts and artifacts of power, slowly rebuilding the Watcher Council's archives. Willow always teased him that he visited for the attention; she had a bit of a point. Most of her fellow witches had quite a hard time finding men that were comfortable around magick, and the younger of those had been quite taken with Xander. One in particular, Celeste, is who they would be visiting today.

They didn't need to look hard to find her; she was already waiting on the steps of their meeting hall, a beautiful wood-and-cobblestone building. Small orbs of light danced across the masonry, illuminating it despite the darkness of the day. Directly below the orbs, a young woman in a long red dress lounged back, watching them approach, playing with the light overhead. She was nearing thirty, but looked much younger. Her skin was pale, practically luminescent, nearly blending into the fairness of her hair, which looked almost white in the glow of her magick. Her eyes were dark gray, almost too dark for her face, and had a sense of depth to them that was quite unusual.

"Celeste, my lady!" Bounding up the stairs, Xander kissed her hand delicately, to her amusement. It was clear this was a ritual of sorts for them.

"Xander, my sweet pirate." Her voice was small and soft, but seemed to hum with energy. Stepping out of the car, Spike eyed her with interest.

Andrew glanced at her and whimpered softly, reclining the seat as far as it would go. "I'll stay in the car, she gives me the creeps."

Curiosity peaking, Spike walked up to introduce himself.

"This must be the vampire, the one who came back to earth… unexpectedly." She spoke slowly, eyeing him over, equally intrigued.

Spike felt his hair stand on end. "Someone's been telling stories about me, then?" He glanced coldly at Xander.

Xander and Celeste shared a smirk. "No, my pet." She whispered.

"She's a Seer, Spike." Xander explained. "She senses quite a bit, and usually knows beforehand if she's going to meet someone new."

"I see." Spike kept his body tense. He knew these games well, and currently far from appreciated the additional reminder. Deciding to speak as little as possible, he hung back slightly, letting Celeste and Xander continue their slightly flirtatious small talk.

"I was sad to hear that Willow was having trouble, we quite like her here."

"Would you be able to help us out with that, my wise one?" Xander winked at her, and she waved him off.

"I don't know all, Xander, but I can tell you a few things." She paused, closing her eyes. "For one, I don't sense that anyone within the coven wishes her ill. There are a few here that are jealous of her, of her beauty or of her power, but none that wish to harm her." She opened her eyes wide. "However, I can sense the presence of someone else with magick here, not at the coven, but in or near the city. Someone powerful. They are tied to Willow, but I don't know exactly how. I think they may be here because of her."

Someone with magic, thought Spike. Not Dru. Maybe I don't even have to tell her...

"Must be our Big Bad." Xander tapped his fingers. "Where can we find this bastard?"

Celeste looked disdainfully at Xander, but Spike was the first to speak.

"Doesn't work like that mate." Xander turned around, surprised. Spike was looking at him smugly. "She's not a sodding GPS, just thank her for what she's already told you, it'll be more than useful."

Celeste's eyes fixated on Spike, looking him over again with renewed appreciation. "Well, this one knows how to treat a lady." She purred.

Spike met her gaze, eyes cold. "Wouldn't be so sure about that, love." Turning around, his coat whipping behind him, he left the two, walking back to wait with Andrew in the car.

"Don't mind him." Xander said, starting to follow. "He's always like that."

At the Academy, Buffy and Willow had chosen a workspace as far away from Angel and Giles as possible.

"Here's something," Willow whispered, nudging Buffy. "It's a study that was done by a branch of our coven, back in the 1940s. Oh!" She exclaimed. "It looks like they were actually studying the phenomenon of Angelus becoming Angel."

The girls shared a look, lowering their voices further, although both men were well out of earshot.

"It says here," she continued. "That they were trying to figure out why Angelus was so evil without his soul, since some vampires kinda clung to their humanity more so than he did."

"Did they figure it out?"

"Um…" Willow trailed off, still reading. "Oh." She glanced at Buffy.

"Bad news?"

Willow's voice was nervous. "Well, they concluded that demons that were once human do actually keep their humanity in a sense, but the demon that takes over pushes them to act on dark instincts they already have. They can feel pain… and love… like humans can, but they have no conscience, so no motive to try to resist the 'evil within themselves.'"

Buffy closed her eyes, trying to fit Willow's words within her own history with Spike. 'What you feel isn't real' she had told him many times. 'You can't love', 'You're beneath me.' It was all true, how he'd felt… As real as it was now. A part of her had already suspected this, given how enthralled by her he still seemed after he was ensouled, but the confirmation left her feeling somewhat guilty. Spike had not been good, not really, but he was no Angelus. Most people wouldn't have been able to resist that darkness as well as he had, or I'd be out of a job.

Oblivious to Buffy's turmoil, Willow was still reading, keeping careful watch of Angel across the room. "They list in their final findings that Angelus is a unique case, and that the evil he's done in the past is... still something he's capable of. Ouch. I guess this doesn't help, does it?"

Buffy nodded. "Thanks Will."

"You know, this still doesn't mean Spike is going all 'dark side' again… But if you're nervous, you can definitely sleep in my room tonight. We'll all watch him. God knows Angel would love a chance to…" She trailed off, realizing she was babbling again. Instead, she gave Buffy's hand a quick squeeze.

Buffy was silent for a few minutes, still thinking. I still think he's keeping something from me… but I can't imagine him being like that again, not after everything we went through together. Is it wishful thinking to just trust him?

"Will, shouldn't we be focusing on you?"
Willow shrugged. "I don't know… I think Giles might be overreacting a little. Andrew found me locked in my own classroom last week, and Giles had been freaking out ever since. Doesn't seem that crazy to me… although, I don't really remember what happened after my last class, one moment the room was full, and the next, I was in an empty room and the lights were painfully bright… It happened a couple weeks ago too, after I watched one of Lindsay's classes. I don't remember the final bell, I just found myself standing in the parking lot, with a wicked headache…" She paused her story, seeing the concerned look on Buffy's face.

"That doesn't sound like nothing Will, I think Giles is right."

Willow looked solemn. "Well… I did think it was odd when Lindsay told me we had made lunch plans… I didn't even remember it, and trust me, I would've remembered asking her out, definitely vice-versa…" she paused, contemplating whether or not her theory was too crazy to voice. "I think I was talking to Lindsay the first time it happened. I have to wonder if it's got something to do with her. I don't sense any magick from her, but I might be too distracted by her to notice. Besides, it would explain why she'd even be interested in me in the first place...:"

Buffy thought for a moment. She didn't necessarily accept Willow's belief that Lindsay was 'out of her league,' but she also had no reason to trust a woman she'd never met. Better be on the safe side.
"Does Lindsay have anything she keeps here? Like a locker or something?"

Willow nodded. "We have full-on safes in the teacher's lounge, but she prefers to use the lockers in the training rooms. They assigned her a permanent one as a courtesy, usually students have to leave them empty at the end of the day."

"Let's go." Buffy stretched, signalling to Giles that they would be back soon, and the girls headed for the training rooms on the other side of the campus.

Willow was able to open the locker with a quick spell, noting with a glimmer of hope that there was no protective magick in place. Shifting her weight nervously, she stood guard at the door while Buffy searched. Weekend trainings had already become regular for some of the more advanced students, it would not be a surprise for a student or two to make an appearance during the holidays.

"Not seeing anything yet," Buffy called out. "Looks like my box at home - all weapons. Looks like hers are dulled for training though. I don't think-"

'QUIET.' Willow's voice entered her mind, and Buffy slammed the locker shut in shock, her hands jumping to cradle her head. Willow had done this sort of mental projection before, but it always felt somewhat invasive, even when it was expected. 'Someone's coming.'

Whoever it was, Buffy was going to meet them first. Keys were turning at the back door of the locker room, and Willow was stationed at the main entrance, hoping to intercept any eager students.

'They're coming in the back, Will' Buffy thought as hard as she could, willing the other girl to hear her.

'Oh God. Buffy, that's the staff entrance. Get out!.'

Buffy was able to stand, leaping back from the locker, hoping it looked undisturbed. In any case, she didn't have time to fix it. The door opened slowly, and a beautiful young woman stumbled in, arms full of what looked like practice weapons. Instinctively, Buffy dashed over to help her.

If she was surprised to find the locker room occupied, she took it in stride. "Thank you!" She breathed out quickly, as Buffy grabbed a small stack of practice padding that was about to tumble from her arms. "...whoever you are?"

Buffy could hear the question. "Sorry, hi, I'm Buffy Summers, I-"

"You're Buffy? I know who you are!" The girl was suddenly excited. "You're the slayer from California, The Slayer. You're completely famous here." Dropping the last of her equipment, the girl grasped Buffy's hand, shaking it enthusiastically.

Looking her over, the girl's identity suddenly clicked. She was tall and slender, with tan, freckled skin and deep-set pale green eyes. Her delicate hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, ideal for a workout, and unmistakably a beautiful rosy blonde. "Oh!" She exclaimed.

The girl looked at her quizzically, and Buffy quickly continued. "I'm sorry, you must be Lindsay."

"... Have we met?"

"No, sorry." Buffy smiled. "I'm a friend of Willow's." She realized, with a touch of surprise, that the girl's grip was as strong as her own. "Are you a Slayer?"

"Yes." Lindsay smiled back. "Mr. Giles tracked me down about two months ago, while I was living in Arizona. I was a bit too old to be a student here, but when he found out I was working as a martial arts instructor, he offered me a job! I love it here, everyone's been so welcoming. Not to mention, it was getting hard to adjust to the increase in strength when I was working with, well, ordinary students."

"Imagine that! Willow never mentioned you were a Slayer."

"Willow mentioned me?" Lindsay blushed.

Hearing voices, Willow rushed back into the room, turning an impressive shade of magenta when she realized who Buffy was talking to.

"Willow!" Lindsay beamed, walking over to meet her with long strides, and pulling a stammering Willow into a tight hug. "I just met your friend Buffy, were you visiting to work? I told you that you should take a break once in awhile."

"Y-yes." Willow stared at her feet. Lindsay's smile was starting to falter; Buffy quickly stepped in, trying to rescue her friend.

"So, Lindsay, are you here for work too?"

Lindsay finally took her eyes off of Willow. "Yes, some of the girls were talking about getting some training in during break, they don't like to go too long between workouts. I offered to teach some extra classes since it's such a long break, so they've got me coming in every other day for the next three weeks, except Christmas and New Year's of course! Mr. Giles is even going to pay me since it's a holiday, but I just love it so much, I would've done it for free."

Boy, this girl can talk! In contrast, Willow was staring at the floor as if she would never speak again, still faintly pink. Buffy smiled at her fondly, grabbing her by the arm and attempting to pull her into the conversation.

"Willow and I would just love to watch your class! When does it start?" Willow looked up at Buffy, clearly panicking, but Buffy ignored her, smiling warmly at Lindsay.

"Oh, that's great! I got here a little early to set up and stretch, but you're welcome to take a seat on the benches, the girls should start filtering in within ten minutes or so."

Thanking her, Buffy half-dragged Willow to the plain wooden benches in the next room. The training room was expansive, around the size of the gymnasium back at Sunnydale High. Half the floor was covered in blue and red training mats, separated from the the rest of the room by a small lattice fence. The other half was covered in exercise equipment, various weights, beams, and other contraptions designed to enhance dexterity and strength. Buffy whistled softly to herself, slightly envious. Giles did all this in a few months?

"Xander did an amazing job, didn't he?" Now that Lindsay was out of the room, Willow was slowly regaining her ability to speak. "Andrew got us most of the equipment. He spent hours calling around, finding Giles some stuff he could grab for cheap or free. We don't have much of a budget yet, most of the old Council's funds went towards fixing up this place and affording staff… But many of the Watchers that didn't make it through the attacks had quite a stockpile."

"Right, Xander." She had almost forgotten her friend's skill. The room was clearly of solid construction to begin with, but the new additions were breathtaking.

"He made these too!" Taking a seat, Willow patted the bench next to her.

"Willow, I know you don't really want to talk about this, but I really don't think it's Lindsay doing this to you."

"I know… Is it bad that I almost hoped it was?" Buffy looked at her blankly, and Willow sighed, explaining. "I'm just so overwhelmed, I think I really like this girl, but I have no idea how to act around her. Not to mention, every relationship I've ever had has ended so horribly… I'm just not ready to go through all that again… and she's so tall, and pretty..."

Willow was trembling, and Buffy decided against pressing the issue further. Instead, she pulled Willow's head onto her shoulder, letting her friend breathe. She's been through so much.

"I love you Willow."

Willow sat up, smiling faintly. "I know Buffy, I love you too."