Asleep at Dawn
Chapter 6: Caught Napping
-"Think I'm Gonna Fight Fair? As If!"-
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, BlazBlue, or any of the various bit-character cameos in this chapter. I just write crossover fanfics about them.
A/N: Miss me? Blame Xenoblade Chronicles 2. It's a pretty great game, but it eats up a lot of time.
Speaking of time, it's time for the boss of Lotus Academy, but first...
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Lotus Academy 1F: Gymnasium...
"But Mr. Terumi, I can't do a MILLION laps!" Some random pasty-faced kid whined.
"A literal million, kid! Get on it!" Mr. Yuuki Terumi was the very archetype of an evil Phys Ed teacher. "Ugh, dealing with kids day in and day out...what could be worse?"
*BOOM! Rattle thump thump bump! Ching ching bang!*
The noise caused more whining from the kids. "Mr. Terumi, what's that noise? Is someone fighting upstairs?"
Okay, that got his attention. "...There's an upstairs?"
"That would be the first I've heard of it," said a voice very similar to Mr. Terumi's, "and I'm the only janitor employed here." Mr. Hazama stood in the doorway. Only his dusty jacket distinguished him from Mr. Terumi, but the two were definitely not related, at least as far as they knew.
"Interesting. A janitor, you say?" Terumi swept aside his fake memories and turned fully to regard Hazama. To the class he was already trying to forget, he yelled, "Class dismissed! Run along, kids, or you'll be late for lunch." The kids filed out in a relieved but orderly manner. "So you don't quite remember yet? Well, it's not like you matter."
Hazama just smirked. "Ouch, that hurts, Terumi. Right here. Surely you didn't think you were the first to break the illusion? I'm just a better actor than you. So, would I be correct in assuming you want to meet with those girls?"
Terumi huffed. "'Want' is such a strong word. I don't have much choice. You of all people should know why."
"Just wanted to be sure, old buddy. You'll do whatever you want, I'll do whatever I want, and whatever happens, happens. I suppose we'll meet again soon enough."
"Whatever. I needed a good stretch anyway. Twin Fangs!" Terumi kicked upward at the ceiling (the very high gymnasium ceiling), shredding his frumpy workout clothes in the process to reveal that he had on his iconic yellow hoodie the whole time. His kicks, sheathed in slimy magic, left a corrosive residue on the ceiling, letting him shatter it with the impacts. "Ouroboros!" A chain shot out from his sleeve, latching onto something on the secret upper floor and pulling him up out of sight.
Hazama slow-clapped at Terumi's departure. "That's just like you, Terumi. You have all the class and subtlety of a reactive warhead...so you'll be the one those wannabe heroes come after first." He shucked his old janitor's clothes and fed them to Ouroboros, revealing his snappy NOL Intelligence uniform, then moonwalked back out to the hall to find a sneakier way upstairs.
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Moments earlier, in Lotus Academy 2F: Martial Arts Arena...
Lambda yanked open the door and stumbled, slack-jawed, into an enormous amphitheater worthy of a mighty empire, with a massive, sandy-floored circle sunken in the center for the arena and rows and rows of benches, with lotus flower-shaped emblems hanging on banners everywhere. Here and there, groups of kids who looked about the girls' age traded blows with each other, using their bare hands and various bladed weapons, from army knives to zweihanders and everything in between.
Lambda looked down on the fights from the middle row of benches where they'd emerged through the door. "Well, that can't be safe. Scanning...Mild abjuration magic detected. Okay, so they have a field up to make cutting weapons...not cut things. It also weakens most other kinds of magic. I really shouldn't be surprised."
Namine replied, "That could be a problem. Look over there!"
After a short pause, Xion mumbled, "Uh, where?"
"...Right, you can't see me pointing." Namine manifested herself in front of the group and pointed at the highest concentric circle of benches, across from where they'd entered. A giant Heartless was waiting there, fiddling with a flask of some kind of glowing, red potion. It was covered in mismatched clothing from head to foot. It had a wide-brimmed, purple witch's hat and flowing yellow robes, making it seem like a huge Wizard Heartless, but it also had an artfully-distressed biker jacket made of black leather hanging unzipped from its shoulders, and its spindly arms were wrapped in white bandages. Under the hat, the girls could make out a glowing yellow left eye and a red eyepatch over the right eye. The rest of the boss Heartless' face was framed in shadow. It didn't carry a Wizard's signature staff, but it did have a bandolier of colorful potions in long-necked glass flasks slung across its chest. The potions swung on flimsy-looking strings and clinked together as the boss moved. The Heartless Emblem was on the buckle of an extra-wide, brown belt tied around its waist...although the belt itself seemed to serve no purpose whatsoever.
Xion turned to Lambda and calmly told her to, "Pay up. I won the bet."
Lambda gazed up at the Heartless. "I would, but there's no munny in the Training Worlds, remember? And we haven't figured out how our TP accumulates yet. For all I know, we could all have one big account for everyone. Instead, let's figure out what the deal is with this Heartless. Scanning... Target identified as the Trouble Brewer. Threat level: A. Physical strength: C-tier. Magical strength: A-tier. Bottles contain volatile chemical solutions imbued with different types of magic."
Kairi summoned Destiny's Embrace. "Sounds like the potions are the biggest problem. Just get far away from where it tosses them, I guess."
Namine disappeared while telling the others, "Yes! Do that, now!" The red potion was already sailing through the air toward the heroines' party.
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Defeat the Trouble Brewer!
*BOOM!* Although the girls all scattered in different directions long before the bottle landed, they underestimated the sheer explosive power of the potion inside. A fiery blast swept through the stands, covering at least a quarter of the room. The building was left undamaged, since it was designed to withstand ridiculously powerful blasts from untrained students; the girls weren't so lucky.
The girls were tossed through the air into the arena, landing close to each other as their Keyblades tumbled out of their hands and rattled along the ground. Kairi and Lambda landed pretty softly on their backs, but Xion landed on her head with a *bump*, leaving her too dazed to get up.
Lambda and Kairi pushed themselves up and re-summoned their Keyblades with matching *ching* sounds. Lambda raised her Keyblade and pumped extra mana into it to try and cast a higher-level Fire spell. She managed to cast Firaga, which created a big fireball that zoomed over to the Trouble Brewer and blew up on its eyepatch with a *bang*, engulfing the Heartless' head in flames.
Lambda reported the results: "Minimal damage inflicted. Thank goodness for the suppression field that kept us from getting roasted by the potion, but like Namine mentioned, it's mostly going to work against us. And now I'm out of mana." She made a note of the sensation of her mana slowly recharging. It felt like a fatigued muscle cooling down after hard exercise; it wouldn't be useful until it had properly rested. There has to be a way to actively pull in mana from the environment and speed this process up. "Kairi, I don't suppose you have a brilliant plan to actually hurt this thing?"
Kairi was about to respond, but she was cut off by one of the students, who had all stopped sparring with each other to watch the newcomers.
A short-haired girl in a white T-shirt with purple sleeves called out, "I have a plan: PUNCH IT IN THE FACE!" She then literally flew up to the stands where the Trouble Brewer was busy untying a new potion from its bandolier, tightened her fingerless gloves into fists, and slugged the boss in the face...causing minimal damage.
"Videl, get back here! It's too dangerous!" A tall, muscular boy with extra-spiky black hair and plain workout clothes yelled up at the girl.
The girl, Videl, craned her neck around to glare at the boy. "Aw, c'mon, Gohan, you big baby! We can totally take this g-GAAAH!" The Trouble Brewer had finished preparing a yellow potion and smashed the flask straight into Videl's stomach. Lightning visibly arced all over her body for a moment, and she was sent careening back into the arena, where Gohan easily caught her with one hand and set her on her feet.
Videl seemed winded and her clothes were charred, but she was otherwise okay. "I know, I know. You were right. C'mon, we've got to find an instructor to help! Of all the times for Thor to take a restroom break...!" The martial artist couple flew out the door and down the hall, waving for the other students to follow.
Kairi had just made up her mind to get into mid-range and try to inflict a negative status, but the problem was suddenly yanked out of her hands as the floor beneath the Trouble Brewer exploded upwards. The Heartless continued to float in place, heedless of the various construction materials bursting upward, which didn't work out so well for it when a green blur shot up from the hole and ripped straight through the boss from bottom to top. The streak embedded itself into a horizontal flagpole, revealing itself as a black snake head on the end of a glowing green chain, which began to pull its owner up.
A lanky man in a yellow jacket zipped up the chain, ripping the Trouble Maker in half with one of his knives on the way up, and landed nimbly on the flagpole. "YEEHAW! Gotta hand it to Nine, she made some neat toys...before I killed her!"
Lambda froze up for a moment. "Scanning... Target identified as Yuuki Terumi. Threat level maximum. Recommendation: tactical retreat."
Kairi had no past experiences with Terumi to make her fear him. Instead, she chose to notice, "He just beat the boss! Doesn't that totally throw off the whole Training Worlds concept? What happens now?"
Terumi scowled down at her."Say what, girl?"
*KZZZT*
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Mission Failed. Try again.
[Lambda's perspective] Principal's Office: Reception...
Lambda opened her eyes to find she was once again seated at the secretary's desk in front of Simon's office. This time, however, her memories were unaltered, including the memories of what had happened upstairs. She murmured, "So that's how it works. Kudos again, Merlin. This world you've created really is impressive. Now, how should we go about this differently to get it right this time...?"
Lambda decided to stay put, since she was already at the place where they'd been brought to the second floor, and Kairi and Xion would know where to find her. To pass the time productively, she ran through a mental list of her current bag of tricks.
Running checksum... Keyblade: status normal. IDEA Engine linked; standing by. Known functions: temporary 40% increase to striking force with Keyblade. Running simulations. Results: 50% increase in spell potency, 20% increase in maximum mana pool, 60% increase in mana recharge rate. Estimated duration: 15 seconds using basic functions. Requires a cooldown period of up to 30 seconds after duration expires. Other functions detected; unable to identify. Recommendation: experiment.
Lambda nodded to herself. "Well, that's actually plenty to work with, at least for now. What I really want to do is expand my mana pool." She remembered that expending her mana was similar to muscle fatigue, so she thought up a practical way to "exercise" that muscle: she produced a small flame over her hand and kept it burning until her mana ran low, then pushed herself to maintain the spell as long as she could. Once she ran out of mana, she waited a minute to recover before conjuring the flame again.
She was pleased to note that she was able to hold the flame almost fifteen seconds longer on the second try. Therefore, either her mana pool had expanded, or she'd simply learned how to do that particular homemade spell more efficiently. A more in-depth checksum told her that both guesses were correct
Unfortunately, checking a history of resource use over the last day (being part machine had a lot of advantages, especially now that no one could walk up and start pushing her buttons) showed that the basic Fire spell and the other spells she'd discovered hadn't gotten any more efficient...probably because they weren't hers. Ancient mages or Keyblade Masters must have made those spells, refined them to peak efficiency, and bound them to the World somehow to preserve them for the next generation. Lambda mumbled a quick thank-you to the old masters, just in case. Well, even if she couldn't improve on the basic combat spells, expanding her mana pool would let Lambda use those spells more often, which made this new form of training very important. She started to come up with ways to stretch her magic during those boring times when the Heartless weren't actively attacking her group (such as her current situation).
As a result, when Ira Gamagoori slammed open the door and dragged both Kairi and Xion to the discipline chair, the first thing they all noticed was the secretary's faintly glowing, pale green aura. Ira blinked once, twice, three times...and then decided he was better off not asking. He snorted, turned away from the desk, and poked a switch on the wall, which caused another discipline chair to rise out of a hatch in the floor. Kairi remarked, "This school really does have it all, doesn't it?"
Just like before, Ira replied with a hypocritical, "BE QUIET!" He locked the two not-truants into the chairs and banged the door shut on his way out.
Lambda remarked, "He got you too this time, huh, Xion?"
Xion grumbled, "Yep. He may be a bit thick, but he really is good at his job. Which works out well for us...aside from being locked in these chairs."
Lambda started to stand up. "Don't worry, I'll open it."
Xion shook her head. "Wait, I want to try something Sora did in Halloween Town once." She summoned her Keyblade, although her hand was still bound in the shackles in such a way that she couldn't point the Keyblade at anything useful. Pointing and shooting wasn't her plan, though.
Xion charged Light in the tip of Forget-Me-Not, which fired a beam sideways, straight up at the ceiling. About halfway up, the beam split into several little, shining drops that landed on the various bindings holding Kairi and Xion in the chairs. A series of clicks followed, and both girls were free.
Kairi stood up and rubbed her wrists. "Ugh, that guy! Didn't anyone ever tell him to treat girls gently?"
Lambda rolled her eyes. "Come on, you're a Keyblade wielder. You need to be tougher than that."
Kairi huffed, "Says the only one of us who never got grabbed. And would you care to explain why you're glowing?"
"Oh, that." Lambda stopped glowing. "I was exercising my magic; I've got a lot of training to do. After all, if we go charging in like we did last time, then either Terumi will ruin everything again or the Trouble Brewer will just blow us up."
Simon the Digger asked from behind Lambda, "Terumi? Trouble Brewer? Last time? ...Oh, don't mind me. I'm just curious. You girls just broke the record for the fastest time to dispel the fake memories this school put in you."
Xion sheepishly replied, "It's...complicated, Principal Simon. The short version is, the three of us are off-worlders, and we're here to fight a monster called the Trouble Brewer, which is in the arena on the second floor of this school. It's very important that we have to beat the monster without help, or everything will happen again."
Simon nodded. "Ah, say no more. Your story isn't that strange compared to my usual students, and lengthy explanations aren't my style anyway. Since it seems you already know what the school is all about, and you don't seem like bad kids, I'll let you up to the second floor." Simon drilled an elevator into the ceiling like before.
"The abridged version of the explanation went more smoothly than I thought it would," Lambda whispered as the elevator took them up.
Xion whispered back, "When dealing with a shonen protagonist, the less complicated you try to be, the better."
Lambda blinked. "When dealing with a what?"
"Never mind. It's an anime thing." In a louder voice, Xion reminded Simon about the hall pass pins, which he provided.
"Well, good luck with that monster! Remember to kick logic to the curb and go beyond the impossible!" After dispensing that bit of manly wisdom, Simon dashed out of sight, once again knocking all four girls to the floor.
Namine had been knocked clean out of Kairi's heart by the shockwave. As she vanished again, she mumbled, "I thought he might make more sense the second time, but..."
"Don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it..." Lambda chanted to herself.
"Hey," Kairi called after Xion, who was already charging ahead, "wait for us! We still don't have a plan!"
Lambda hummed to herself. "Actually...well, I'll explain after we catch up to her." They dashed down the hall.
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Hall 2-B...
"So what's this plan of yours?" Xion asked her companions after they caught up.
Lambda and Kairi took a moment to get their breathing under control. When she was calm again, Lambda replied, "We should find this 'Thor' person. That girl, Videl, was talking about how he was taking a restroom break, right? If we find him, he can turn off the suppression field so we can do some actual damage to the Trouble Brewer."
Kairi raised her hand. "Does that mean we have to go into the men's bathroom?"
Lambda shook her head. "Not necessarily. We could always make some noise in the hall to get his attention. Here's the restrooms..." She raised her voice and shouted at the generic stick man-marked door, "Hey, Mr. Thor? Are you in there?"
A muffled, but still loud voice replied, "That's 'Mighty Thor Odinson, God of Thunder' to you!"
Lambda blinked. "I just wanted you to know that there's a nasty monster invading the martial arts arena, but my group have to be the ones to kill it, or it won't work!"
"One moment, if you would. Cursed toilet paper! I will unroll you with speed to make Sleipnir envious!" For the next ten seconds, a multitude of unusual sounds filtered through the door. The girls' expressions became gradually more incredulous as they picked up the sounds of a hammer, a chainsaw, a siren, and a cat. The party unanimously decided they would be better off not knowing what he was doing in there.
But finally, Thor (AKA "The Mighty Thor Odinson, God of Thunder") slammed open the restroom door and stood picturesque in the door frame, wearing some kind of jumpsuit-armor-costume-thing with several big circles on the front and a tiny helmet with winged ornaments. He had enough muscles to make it obvious that he could totally handle the Trouble Brewer if not for the fact that it would cause a time loop.
Thor scowled at the girls. "What sorcery is this?! You three are not any students of mine!"
Namine manifested herself. "Four, actually. And no, we're just here to beat the monster, since it's from off-world just like us. Please let us handle it; if someone else beats it, it will just cause...problems."
Thor rubbed his manly chin in contemplation. "What manner of being are you? An apparition? No, it matters not. You seem sincere, oddly enough. And you have visitors' passes. But if you four must be the ones to defeat this monster, then why have you come to me for aid?"
Lambda explained, "There's a suppression field covering the arena that reduces the effectiveness of our attacks, but the monster is so strong that it can still do serious damage with the field up. We overheard that you're the instructor for the class in the arena, so we thought you could help us take the field down temporarily. Or at least evacuate the class."
Thor nodded seriously. "Ah, the field must have slipped my mind. I can certainly do those things...but are you sure you can handle such powerful attacks without the field to weaken them?"
Kairi nodded. "I think so. I have a couple things I can use to try to speed us up and do more damage."
Xion blinked at her. "You do? That's news to me."
Kairi grinned back at her. "You're going to love what I have in mind...well, if it works."
Thor struck a dramatic pose with a big one-handed maul. "Good! Let battle be joined! I shall sally forth and make the preparations. The arena will be ready when you arrive. Blessings of Asgard upon you all...you'll probably need it." He moved as if to throw his hammer (Mjolnir, if Lambda had her mythologies straight), but rather than let go of it, he allowed the impossibly heavy artifact to drag him along with all its ridiculous momentum, and sent himself flying down the hall at an insane speed.
Kairi stared after him. "Well, I suppose that's one way to fly. Will he be alright?"
Xion shrugged. "He calls himself the God of Thunder. If he's even a fraction as impressive as his title, he'll be fine."
Lambda reported, "Target threat level: SS. He is literally a god. Good thing my programming can't force me to try and kill gods anymore. But we do need to pursue him. I hope your plan works, Kairi." The girls rushed down the hall to the arena.
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Martial Arts Arena...
"Get ready to land on your feet, everyone." As soon as the party filed into the arena, Kairi cast the strongest Aero spell she could muster, flinging everyone to the far corners of the amphitheater. She sent herself flying straight at the Trouble Brewer, which was exactly where it had been last time.
Kairi did a twist in midair to dodge the first potion, surprising even herself with such a deft maneuver, and called on that Light she supposedly had so much of. Think of Sora and all the awesome skills he's gained. Think of that Paopu fruit I'm going to share with him. Think of the faith I have that we'll all succeed in our tests. Think of -
Ouroboros zipped up through the floor ahead of schedule. Kairi had to make an attack before the Heartless could be destroyed, but all she could think to say was, "HOLY...!"
*PSSSEEEEEEEWWWW!*
A brilliant, blue-white pillar of Light lanced down from the indistinct ceiling overhead and consumed a two-meter-wide circle around the boss, including Terumi's head as he pulled himself up. Kairi touched down on the other side of the hole as the badly damaged Heartless vanished. Kairi belatedly finished her exclamation, "...Holy smokes."
"*Cough!* What the hell was that?" Terumi griped as he used one arm to pull himself out of the hole and the other to hold a nasty-looking burn mark on his forehead.
Kairi, ever the well-mannered Princess of Heart, actually apologized to Terumi. "I'm sorry, Terumi...um, I think. Should I be sorry? I was trying to use a generic blast of Light, like King Mickey does, but...well, it looks like Holy is another spell. I didn't expect you to come up early."
Terumi groaned in frustration. "Ugh, you're such a goody-two-shoes! It makes my skin crawl! Actually, this whole world is a major pain in the ass! No one told me that the boss had to be killed by you little shits, so I ended up teaching P.E. to a bunch of brats again! So this time, I was going to jump in and beat you up at the same time as the boss, but you killed the damn mood with that move. I'll be back!" The ancient incarnation of hatred shoved himself back down the hole with a petulant humph.
Xion and Lambda approached the hole and joined Kairi in staring at the damage. Xion mumbled, "What? We won...?"
Lambda turned toward the door."Scanning...survival of target confirmed. The boss teleported to another room. But you got Terumi to back off! Great job, Kairi! Way to improvise!"
Kairi sighed. "I wish I could say I meant to do that...but I'll take what I can get. What's that guy's deal, anyway?"
A male voice drawled from right behind them, "His deal's the same as always. 'World of despair, death is the only truth, blah blah blah.' He sure has gotten rusty, though. I could have salvaged that plan after the initial stumbling block."
Xion turned around, and found Hazama practically pressed against her back. She made to shove him away, only to receive a powerful kick that sent her flying to the other side of the hole. Hazama continued talking in an obviously false apologetic tone, "Oh, I'm so sorry! I just really, really hate being touched. You kids should be more careful around an Azure Grimoire, anyway. I might end up eating your souls, don't you know?"
Kairi replied in confusion, "Thanks for the concern, I guess? You shouldn't kick my friends, though."
Hazama smiled in bemusement, with his eyes still apparently shut. "Huh, I kind of expected more aggression. Number Eleven must have told you about me, hasn't she?"
Lambda confirmed, "I told them what I know. What I don't know is why you're here in the first place. I heard that you and Terumi came straight here after you suddenly popped into existence in the Heart Timeline. What do you two want with us?"
Hazama smirked his most infuriating smirk. "First of all, Terumi and I aren't in cahoots or anything like that anymore. We just happen to be in the same situation. Surely you've noticed by now? You said it yourself: we only just started to exist in this timeline. And who else could we have to thank for that but you, Number Eleven? I don't know what you did to yourself in this timeline, but you've become such a powerful Observer that you ended up anchoring us to this timeline without even trying."
Lambda's crimson eyes widened. "So I'm your primary Observer? That explains a lot."
Xion cut in, "Really? I'm still lost."
Lambda sighed. "I'll fill you in when we have time - we still have to beat that boss, after all. As for you, Hazama, it's clear to me that you only showed up now so I would confirm your existence. Now that I have, why are you still here?"
Hazama held a hand to his heart, looking like the very picture of innocence...if that picture was left in a pile of garbage. "I just wanted to make it clear that I, for one, have no intention of interfering with your little tests. I wouldn't want to cause any misunderstandings, would I?"
Lambda translated that, "In other words, you want to preserve your own existence, so you're trying to use emotional manipulation to make me less likely to pull the plug."
Hazama seemed surprised, but in a pleasant way. "Ah, you sussed me out in one try! I had you pegged for the heroic type, but maybe you take more after your boyfriend? Oh well, back to the drawing board. So, are you?"
Lambda replied, "Am I going to stop Observing you? No, not unless there's no other choice. That would definitely make you both cease to exist, but I would also end up erasing myself and Roxas, and Xion through him. Plus, I know Riku would miss me. He might even succumb to the Darkness, although I have faith that he's stronger than that. So I'm not going to rule out the possibility, but it would definitely be my very last resort."
Kairi's breath caught in her throat. "Lambda, would you really go through with that?"
"I hope not," Lambda replied, "But with Terumi involved, I have to consider the worst-case scenario. Don't worry, the only kind of situation where I'd do that is one where the people I mentioned already ended up dead. So Hazama, if you see Terumi, tell him to leave my friends alone!"
"I'll be sure to do that, Number Eleven. Are you sure you don't want me to stick around, though?"
"Call me Lambda; I'm not exactly a Murakumo Unit anymore. As for sticking around, I was planning to invite you to join our team," Lambda casually replied.
Hazama, Kairi, Xion, and Namine all simultaneously shouted, "WHAAAT?!"
Lambda pointed out, "Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Or have 'em join you. There are a lot of reasons for it. It's a way to strengthen our side, it reduces threats to us, it's the heroic and nice thing to do, Xehanort would never see it coming, and on top of all that, it's what I want to do."
Hazama looked intrigued. "And you're truly okay with that, Lambda? I did kinda cut your throat open a while ago. And I also helped Terumi play hacky-sack with your boyfriend's face. And I'm not ashamed to say it felt good to do those things."
Lambda smiled back. "I still think there's a chance for you to change. Terumi seems stubbornly stuck in the past, but you're already trying different things, aren't you? If you think about it, we have very similar circumstances, what with being created by Relius to serve a purpose other than our own wills." With a joking lilt, she continued, "Besides, my neck is obviously still fine, and Riku was just borrowing the face you used as a hacky-sack. He got rid of it already. And my last reason...you already got my name right. You already want to say yes."
Hazama blinked, opened his mouth, shut it again, then turned away from the group and looked upward. "Damn, you're perceptive. Can't pull one over on you, can I, Lambda... Well, I guess that settles it. I'll tag along for now, and maybe carve up some Heartless if it strikes my fancy. Unless there are any objections?" He turned back to the group and extended a hand for a handshake...while twirling a butterfly knife around the other hand.
"None that I can think of right now," Kairi nodded, placing her hand on top of Hazama's without hesitation. "At least you'll be...interesting...to have around."
Xion grumbled as she skirted around the hole, "I'll be fine as long as you keep the knives away from me. And any other weapons," she added quickly as Hazama's smirk started widening. Still, she added her hand to the pile.
Lambda arched an eyebrow as she stepped forward. "...We're going to have to work on your people skills. Like, not threatening your new teammates with sharp death. That said, welcome to the team, Hazama. All for one and one for all, and all that." She placed her hand on top of the others, and they all raised their hands up before stepping back. "Now, we have a Heartless miscreant to track down. I think it went to the mecha hangar. I guess nobody won that bet."
Xion flinched. "Seriously? We'd better get over there before a giant robot steps on it and resets everything again! C'mon!"
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Lotus Academy 2F: Mecha Hangar...
One door down and across the hall from the Martial Arts Arena, the newly-expanded team of probably-Junior Heroes entered the Mecha Hangar. The room was enormous, absolutely dwarfing the Martial Arts Arena. This was because it had to hold dozens of giant, humanoid machines along the sides. At the start of the row on the left was one tiny, red mecha that looked more like a disembodied head of some of the others with stubby arms and legs, yet this one had more presentation put into the golden storage harness; a golden plaque over it declared its name was "Lagann; PROPERTY OF THE PRINCIPAL". On the opposite side of the room was a similar harness for somewhat larger red mecha that seemed to have no head, instead having a face built into the torso. For some reason, the face wore snazzy, triangular shades over its yellow eyes. A plaque styled like flames informed the visitors that this mecha was "Gurren - MANLY PILOTS ONLY!"
There was room in the middle of the hangar for maintenance equipment and launch pads. The back wall was taken up by a huge metal gate that looked like it could withstand more than a few rams and punches from the mechas in the hangar. Engineers in heavy-duty work clothes scurried here and there, carrying tools and driving forklifts to keep the mechas in tip-top shape. Teenage student pilots in colorful suits hung out in groups, going over strategies for the next combat exercise. But where was the Trouble Brewer? A tricky Heartless like that, running loose in a place like this? It could end up breaking a lot of very expensive toys.
Or driving them! One of the mechas, a comparatively short, blocky white robot with a V-shaped golden fin on its helmet, stomped its way out of its harness, breaking cables and bars as it went.
A redheaded girl in a shiny red rubber suit yelled, "Hey! Who's trying to launch the vintage Gundam without authorization!? The rest of us aren't ready to go yet!"
A voice came over the P.A. "This is not part of the exercise! There's a serious problem! The pilot isn't responding! Anyone who's already in a mecha, provide fire support to subdue the Gundam! Everyone else, evacuate immediately! Clear the room!"
As it turned out, no one else was in a mecha at the time. Xion mumbled, "So much for fire support..."
Lambda looked up at the "Gundam's" head. "Scanning..." Oh, the cockpit was actually inside the torso. "Adjusting...Primary target recognized. The Trouble Brewer is piloting that mecha somehow! And here I thought we'd just have to contend with its own potion bombs. Anyway...targeting rogue mecha. Designation: Gundam. Target's threat level is S. Numerous integrated and carried mecha-sized weapons detected. Energy sword, rifle, grenade launcher, machine gun, energy-tipped spear, flail, head-mounted flak guns...Geez, that's a lot of weapons! Luckily, it can only use a few at once, because most of them have to be carried in its hands. Still, those are mecha-sized bullets. One hit, and we're all dead."
"Then scatter!" Kairi summoned her Keyblade and ran at a diagonal, trying to circle around behind the mecha's giant legs. Unfortunately, summoning her Keyblade got the attention of the Heartless at the controls. It turned to face her, each plodding step covering more ground than ten of Kairi's strides. Looking up at the glowing yellow eye cameras of the Gundam, she realized she was in over her head. "A little cover would be nice!"
"Sonic Blade!" Xion summoned her sword and wings to launch herself up at the Gundam's head. While it was an effective distraction, completely shifting the boss' attention away from Kairi, Xion's stab didn't do any damage. And now the head of the Gundam had its mounted guns pointed directly at her. "Nice try!" Xion dismissed her wings and went into free-fall to get clear of the Gundam's aim, briefly summoned her Keyblade, and called, "Wind!" A miniature tornado burst up from beneath her, giving her a bit of a boost when she re-summoned Sonic Blade to take to the air again. She then switched to Ouroboros and began to levitate at chest level to the mecha, charging up energy in the jaw-sword. "Ragnarok!" A swarm of orange bolts trailed through the air and exploded on the mecha's thick armor, doing no more damage than Xion's first stab. She summoned Sonic Blade again and tried to get some distance. "Grr! I just don't have the firepower to get through!"
Lambda brought up her holographic keyboard, but shook her head. "I need to get closer to even try and hack this thing, and at that range it'll just step on me!"
Hazama scratched his chin for a minute, then shrugged. "I think I can hold it down for a bit. Ouroboros!" A chain lashed out, grabbed onto thin air, and pulled Hazama toward Gundam's giant feet. "Eternal Coils of the Dragon Serpent!" He summoned a green glyph on the ground under the Gundam's left foot, launched Ouroboros at it, and yanked himself forward again...but rather than do an ineffective knife combo on the foot, he just kept flying past it. The chain embedded in the armor just got longer and longer as Hazama swung all the way around the other leg.
Namine gasped. "I see; he's going to tie its legs together and trip it!"
Kairi nodded approvingly. "Good thinking! If you don't have a mecha of your own to fight on equal terms, the next best thing is always to go for the legs."
"Where'd you learn that?" Xion asked, landing beside her as Hazama swung past them again.
Kairi simply answered, "Video games. Mostly the Star Wars ones. It works on four-legged robots; two legs should be even easier."
"Hazama swung by again, yelling over the roar of his own adrenaline, "ONE...MORE...PASS!"
Lambda sprinted to the Gundam's left side and brought up her keyboard again as Hazama finally stopped swinging. "On your mark, get set, HACK!" Hazama touched down and affixed the other end of Ouroboros to the floor. As the mecha turned to where the travelers were all grouped up, it got tangled in the chain, which stretched taut but showed no signs of breaking. Hazama smirked up at it. "No dice, big guy. You'd need enough power to destroy the world to even think of breaking out of my coils!" The mecha tipped ponderously forward, wobbled for a bit, then fell down on its face with a deafening crash.
Kairi sprinted over to Hazama. "That. Was. AWESOME!"
"I know, right? Go ahead, praise me some more! I'd hoped joining this team would be more entertaining than watching from the sidelines, and it's pretty clear I was right!"
Meanwhile, Lambda was busy with her hacking attempt. "Almost got it...there! All movement and weapon controls are locked. Now it's just a matter of..." she summoned Elysium and fired a Release beam at the Gundam's torso. A whir of motors could be heard, and the mecha's chest plate opened up to reveal the Trouble Brewer seated among the complicated controls. It ripped a blue potion off of its bandolier and tossed it angrily at Lambda.
"Stop!" Xion brandished Forget-Me-Not and cast a time-stopping spell on the tiny flask, halting its movement in midair. "Kairi, if you would..."
"Sure thing!" Kairi leaped into the cockpit and drove Destiny's Embrace through the Trouble Brewer's cloak and out the other end, leaving a rip in the chair it sat on. Its captive heart rose out of the wound and floated upward, disappearing in front of one of the bright fluorescent lights on the ceiling. "We got it this time! Good thing, too; how could it possibly have topped its own pranks again?"
"We're probably better off not knowing," Namine replied, "But the Practice Keyhole is over there on that tiny mecha, Lagann."
Sure enough, the familiar, glowing outline showed up on Lagann's giant nose. Xion pointed her new Keyblade and locked it, causing a distinctive *click*. Xion waited for a bit, commenting, "Right around now is when Sora would usually get a new Keychain to transform his Keyblade. Too bad these Training Worlds aren't the real deal."
Kairi nodded. "Too bad, and not just for that. I mean, they teach kids to pilot giant mechas here! So cool!"
"Yep, but we've still got to move on soon," Lambda reminded them. "Let's find a save point and get report back to Roxas. But where's a save point?"
The tiny mecha, Lagann, shuddered all of a sudden. It's metal mouth opened, and for lack of a better term, it...barfed sparkly Spiral Power all over the floor in front of it. The puddle of sheer manliness vanished quickly, but left behind a swirling, green save point.
Namine wondered, "Is it...sentient? Well, thank you very much, Lagann." The mecha nodded in Kairi's direction, settled back into its harness, then went motionless again. Kairi nodded back, stepped into the save point, and disappeared into green sparkles.
Xion blinked. "Okay... I'm just going to use this convenient save point to get back to the hub. I've got to show off my new Keyblade to Roxas!" She skipped excitedly into the swirl and vanished.
"Don't think about it don't think about it..." Lambda mumbled again as she disappeared.
"Heh heh...now things are getting interesting." Hazama moonwalked into the save point and vanished as well.
"SHIT!" Terumi cursed as his attempt to grab his old vessel with a chain was just a second too slow. "I must be having an off day." He skulked off toward the Dark Corridor he had ripped open between this world and Midnight Town. He had a lot to think about.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
A/N: About a month and a half passed again. Thank you all for your patience!
Another Disclaimer, Just For Good Measure: As you'd expect, I still don't own anything related to Kingdom Hearts, BlazBlue, Gundam, Tengan Toppa Gurren Lagann, Kill la Kill, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Dragonball, Marvel Comics, Nordic mythology, etc. etc. All characters used without permission, but not for profit. They're all probably quite OOC, too. I'm not really well-versed in any of those franchises other than KH and BB.