B'Elanna realized she had the ability to fix things when, at shift change, a power surge spiked through her station. A flurry of orange-white sparks flew out of the console, causing the yellow grid lines to blank and a dark pungent smoke to waft forth. B'Elanna yelped, pulling her hand back as the station started to smolder. Her stomachs twisted and turned at the malodorous smoke emitting from the console. Instinctively, she placed a hand on her abdomen.
This is the last thing I need, B'Elanna thought as she took a step backwards. A small crowd had gathered at the periphery, and the attention made B'Elanna uncomfortable. She inspected her hand carefully; she was sure she'd experienced worse burns in her past life, and she shrugged off the pain.
"Shit," Amina said, her dark eyes round with concern. She had her jacket on, clearly eager to go, but seemed rooted in place by the technical failure occurring in front of her. "B'Elanna? Are you all right?"
B'Elanna took a shallow breath and then nodded. She didn't know how, but this wasn't the first time she'd dealt with an unexpected fire in a key system and she knew she could handle it. She quickly reached for the cannister of fire suppressant installed on her station and extinguished the flames. It would take some time to repair the now foam-covered machine, but at least she'd managed to stop the fire. And now to figure out what caused the power surge…
B'Elanna was deep in analysis – how do I know all this? – when the crisp voice of the efficiency monitor interrupted her.
"What occurred here?" the woman demanded. Her blond hair pulled back severely and dressed in a purple uniform speckled with orange, the efficiency monitor stood out for another reason; she was the only worker who wore distinct personal ornamentation. But it was specifically the curved silver object just above the monitor's right eye that fascinated B'Elanna.
... you will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
The hairs on B'Elanna's neck stood up. She was on a ship, bathed in green light, and surrounded by black-leather clad humanoids, their skin devoid of color, their features obscured by metal devices, and their movements hampered by hoses connecting the various electrical components on their bodies. A hand extended from the shadows, grasping at her throat-
"B'Elanna."
B'Elanna blinked and saw both Amina and the monitor staring at her, one with worry and the other impatiently.
"Please state the cause of this disturbance," the monitor said coolly, her blue eyes taking in the damaged workstation.
B'Elanna lifted her chin with a bit of defiance. She was aware of Amina – and others – staring at her. She'd dealt with people like the efficiency monitor before and she refused to be intimidated by her.
"It's a simple power fluctuation," B'Elanna explained. "Once we open the station, we should be able to see where the malfunction occurred, but I imagine the power transfer scheduled for earlier this evening overloaded the main circuitry as additional reactor coil relays weren't released in time. The back-up systems should be compensating for the issues now and if I am correct about the cause, we should be able to make the repairs within the hour."
"An hour is an unacceptable delay. You have thirty minutes."
B'Elanna was about to protest that without an evaluation and systems analysis the demand was completely unrealistic, but then a fragment of memory caught her off-guard.
... plasma relays have blown, Captain. Looks like a fluctuation-
... can you fix it?
"If you'd leave me alone, I could get started now," B'Elanna said, momentarily distracted. Captain? Who was the Captain? "We are wasting time with this conversation."
"Your attitude cannot be tolerated, and a notation will be made in your service record regarding this incident. You should have been paying attention and this would have never occurred in the first place. Procedural violations are not acceptable practice in this facility," the efficiency monitor said in a tone of voice that implied she never made a mistake.
"I was," B'Elanna said heatedly. "It happened so suddenly - I noticed a problem in the North Sector and I was attempting to resolve that first." Next to her, Amina shuffled slightly, her gaze downcast. B'Elanna knew Amina should have been aware of the power transfer, but now wasn't the time to point fingers. "It was a cascade reaction. I'm sure it's happened before here."
At that moment, a maintenance worker arrived and quickly removed the metal plating on the front of the work station. B'Elanna squatted down, the bulk of her belly making the movement awkward. After a moment, she rose – gratefully accepting Amina's offered hand for balance – and turned to the efficiency monitor.
"I see the issues and I can resolve it as requested in thirty minutes," B'Elanna said crisply.
"Explain," the efficiency monitor ordered.
"The inverted transducer looks like it wasn't made to handle the voltage. We could replace that one with another with greater conductive properties and that way we don't have to be as concerned with a delay in opening the reactor coils. If we don't make that adjustment now, then something like this could happen again."
"You are capable of making this repair?"
B'Elanna nodded without really knowing where her confidence came from. The maintenance worker brought her a new transducer and B'Elanna carefully removed the damaged equipment. She seemed to know instinctively how to weld the new one into place, and she carefully rewired the entire station. After a quick inspection of other componentry, B'Elanna was satisfied and decided to re-connect power. After a few moments, the console lit up again and the efficiency monitor nodded.
"Efficient work," the efficiency monitor said. "I will make a note of it in your record, employee eight five eight eight."
"My name is B'Elanna."
The monitor regarded the half-Klingon icily and then moved on to the next station without another word. Amina came to stand next to B'Elanna.
"She gives me the chills," Amina said in a low voice. "She's everywhere, watching everything and everyone. I don't think she misses a beat."
"Do you think I offended her?" B'Elanna's earlier confidence evaporated as she watched the efficiency monitor rapidly typing some notes into her tablet.
"I think everything offends her."
"I really need this job," B'Elanna said pensively and then she shook her head in dismay. Hadn't someone warned her about her attitude before? "I should have been more careful. I haven't met her before, but I've heard plenty of stories about her."
"Don't worry about it, B'Elanna. I'm sure she'll find someone else less efficient than you. After all, she did pay you a compliment about your fix. How did you know what to do? Were you an engineer back on Kessik?"
B'Elanna shrugged. "I don't know." Truth be told, she didn't know what she'd done on Kessik, but she was sure it wasn't as satisfying as working on Quarra was. Not for the first time, she wondered when this fog would lift from her memory. Perhaps she should visit the hospital and request a full neurological scan.
"Then how did you know how to fix that?"
"Instinct, I suppose." B'Elanna laughed uneasily.
"I'm impressed. I wish my instinct was that good," Amina said. "I wouldn't worry about the efficiency monitor, B'Elanna. She's probably forgotten about you already."
B'Elanna didn't share Amina's optimism but decided it was easier to agree than to fret about the situation. "I certainly hope so," B'Elanna said.
The two women watched as the monitor made her rounds, stopping occasionally between the different workstations to make notes on her PADD. B'Elanna convinced herself that Amina was probably correct; there were plenty of others here for the monitor to focus her attention on, especially with all the new workers, many of them still struggling to learn their duties.
"There are a lot of new employees here and it's not surprise we've been having some problems lately," Amina said, as if she had been reading B'Elanna's thoughts. "You wouldn't think there is a labor shortage in the galaxy. A lot of them seem to be from Earth." Amina frowned. "Must be a terrible place for all of them to choose to come here."
"I suppose everyone heard about Quarra the way we did," B'Elanna said. "There's a lot of opportunity here for those of us who didn't have any choices back on our home worlds."
"That's a good point. Still, it's curious."
Concerned the efficiency monitor might come back and fault her for not working, B'Elanna quickly tapped a few keys and was satisfied all systems were working as specified and there were no concerning fluctuations in the power grid.
"Well," Amina said, catching the hint. "I'm off. Thanks for fixing the console." She paused. "Maybe you should consider moving to a more technical position. You might be happier there. The engineers are more indispensable; the management has a hard time keeping the talented people in this role. If I had your skills, I'd make the move in a heartbeat." She flashed B'Elanna a quick smile. "Have a good night and… I owe you one."
"Good night," B'Elanna said. And that night, as she watched the hypnotic rise and fall of the power waves on the screen in front of her, she contemplated Amina's suggestion.
B'Elanna settled into her usual table at the restaurant, her eyes already fixed on the PADD. In the last chapter, M'Nea's sister T'Alia, had lifted the sagging spirits of her fellow warrior women with a rousing speech and together, the women had all pledged to vanquish the evil forces of Tagoth, the false God, who had come to challenge Kahless.
But her quiet time didn't last long before Tom showed up at her table.
"Hi," Tom said. His expression was soft, kind, and maybe even caring. "Listen, I get off work in a few minutes. I thought maybe you and I could-"
B'Elanna bit her tongue. She didn't want to like Tom, didn't want to chance letting someone like him into her life. She couldn't shake the feeling that anyone she had a relationship with eventually left her. She knew she'd been involved with someone like Tom before, and clearly, he hadn't stuck around. Her annoyance at whoever that mystery person was pricked at her.
"You don't give up, do you?" B'Elanna asked sharply.
"You don't even know what I was going to say."
"Let me guess: you were going to invite me for a 'walk by the river' or maybe to your living quarters to 'admire the view'," B'Elanna said bitterly. Somehow, she knew she had heard all these lines before and she suspected that she had fallen for any number of these at least once.
"Actually, I was going to offer to introduce you to some people I met."
B'Elanna looked at him surprise, wondering what he was up to. She certainly didn't think she'd have anything in common with his friends.
"A couple expecting their first baby in a few weeks," Tom said. "I thought you might want to get to know other parents. You know, swap stories, maybe even find a playmate for your baby."
B'Elanna couldn't speak. The thought of meeting other people - people who could possibly understand her situation, who could help her...
"If it's a bad idea..." Tom appeared uncertain.
"No, it's -" B'Elanna shook her head, trying to think of the perfect word to express her sentiments. Tom looked at her pensively. Finally, B'Elanna smiled at him. "It's nice."
"I'm sorry about the other day," Tom said, relief evident in his voice.
"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn't have assumed-"
"Forget it." Tom's tone was light, casual, forgiving. B'Elanna sighed. Another time, another place, maybe... the possibility was growing more attractive.
No, she lectured herself sternly. Don't even think it, B'Elanna. Don't even dare. It's how you got into this mess in the first place.
And because Tom was still looking at her so expectantly, B'Elanna softened.
"Look, it's very rare that I admit I'm wrong, so you should probably take advantage of it while you can," she said.
He grinned at her and B'Elanna immediately warmed up to him. There was something sweet in that smile. He seemed genuinely interested in her - an intriguing, but welcome development after days of relative anonymity.
"It's been hard being alone with a baby coming. I have a habit of keeping my guard up," B'Elanna said.
"That's understandable."
"It's just a romantic relationship is out of the question for me right now, so when you started asking..." her voice drifted off.
"How about a friend?" Tom asked gently.
"What?"
"You said romance is out of the question. Could you use a friend?"
B'Elanna considered. She could say no, and he'd walk away; this she was sure of. Or she could say yes, and the result would be the same. But right now, she really did want to talk to someone, so she nodded.
"I would like that," B'Elanna said hoarsely.
"Mind if I sit down?" Tom said. He cast a look towards the back door, as if looking for his boss. "My feet hurt." He grimaced. "I don't think I'm used to standing on my feet all day."
"Please." B'Elanna turned off her PADD.
"What are you reading?"
"'The Warrior Women at the River of Blood.'"
"A river of blood?"
"It's a Klingon thing."
"Must be," Tom said with a little laugh. "Sounds fascinating. You really must enjoy it. You never look up from it." His eyes twinkled as if he was revealing a secret, and B'Elanna flushed. Had Tom been watching her?
"I do like it a lot but it's a little predictable," she said, hoping Tom wouldn't notice the color in her cheeks.
"Predictable?"
"I seem to anticipate how every twist and turn is going to end up." She shrugged. "I'm never surprised."
"Maybe you should try something new then. Something less predictable," Tom said. He folded his arms on the table. "Do you mind a suggestion?"
B'Elanna looked at him warily. Now that she had agreed to have a conversation with him, was he going to proposition her again? Involuntarily, her fists clenched below the table.
"What?" she asked edgily.
"You know, it's okay to get up and meet people. Everyone here is really friendly." He paused for a moment, as if trying to choose the right words. "I don't think you want to be alone, otherwise you wouldn't come here. You could read just as well at your own place and then you wouldn't have to worry about nosy waiters bothering you." The last bit was said with a bit of self-deprecation. "I could help, if you want."
"Uh, maybe another time. Right now, I just feel a bit-"
"Off-balance?" Tom said softly. B'Elanna nodded.
"Yeah, a little. Do you ever get the feeling you don't know where you're going?"
"Sometimes, yes."
"Even worse, I don't know how I got here." The moment she said the words, B'Elanna felt better. An expression of concern crossed Tom's face.
"What are you talking about?" he asked and B'Elanna couldn't quite place his tone of voice. "What do you mean by here?"
"Quarra. Everyone else, they know where they came from. I don't. I mean, I think Kessik, but I'm not sure. It doesn't feel right but that's the only place I remember."
A moment of silence and B'Elanna was convinced that Tom thought her crazy. But his expression - it was contemplative, maybe even a little sad.
"I know what you're talking about," he said in a low voice.
"You do?"
"Yeah." Tom knitted his fingers together on the table. "I have the same feelings and I, I don't remember anything about my life before I worked at the Power Facility and you know how that turned out."
"No, I don't actually."
"I had an argument with the efficiency monitor."
B'Elanna nodded in sympathy. "I met her today when a power surge blew out my console. She arrived immediately."
"Impressive talent she has to be everywhere at once," Tom said. "Anyway, we had an argument over the quality of my work. The next minute, I was out here, looking for a job. Umali, the restaurant owner, was the only one who recognized my natural charm and took a chance on me."
"I can imagine," B'Elanna said dryly.
"But to be honest, I can't think of where I worked before the Power Facility. I probably wasn't any good at that job either. I'm starting to think I'm a vagabond, moving from place to place. You know, not letting any dust settle around my feet? To tell the truth, I think I like that. Something gets a little dull and it's time to move on and try something new."
"Starting over, you mean?" B'Elanna asked.
"Yeah. I get the feeling I've had a lot of experience 'starting over'." Tom's eyes took on a faraway, misty look.
"That's why I came here. To get a new start. I want to make sure I give my baby a good life and I don't think- I mean, I must have thought things were bad enough on Kessik to leave."
"Was it the father?"
"Who?" B'Elanna asked.
"The father. Your baby's father- I'm sorry, I'm being insensitive." Tom looked stricken.
"No, it's all right," B'Elanna said, and surprisingly, it was. "He- he left."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't." She held up her hand. The last thing she wanted was his pity. "It's all right. I'm okay. Really. Everything, everything's okay."
"If you don't mind me saying, you don't look okay," Tom said softly. B'Elanna bit her lip. Her eyes felt moist and she cursed herself for her lack of emotional control. Tom reached across the table and covered B'Elanna's hands with his. His touch was light against her cold skin, and surprised, B'Elanna realized she liked the warmth of his palm. He caressed the top of her hand gently. B'Elanna nodded, because she couldn't speak.
"Hey," Tom said softly. His fingers covered hers and without thinking, B'Elanna grasped his hand. The touch felt comfortable, as if they had done this a million times before. Tom didn't pull away and for that, she was grateful.
"I- I'm so, so sorry. My- my emotions sometimes get the better of me. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. You don't need to. Not with me."
B'Elanna sniffed, feeling ridiculous, but appreciating Tom's kindness at the same time.
"This, this isn't like me. I don't know what's come over me."
"You're under a lot of stress; it's understandable. A new place, job, baby on the way… it's a lot."
B'Elanna pressed her lips together, trying to keep her emotions under wraps. That Tom understood how overwhelmed she felt was nothing short of astonishing, but also his response validated it was okay to for her to have those emotions. She looked down at their intertwined hands. A few days ago, she would have pulled away, but now, she simply enjoyed the security of another person's touch.
"I don't remember him," B'Elanna said softly.
"What?"
"The father. I don't remember him. Nothing."
B'Elanna inhaled deeply, feeling the lump in her throat growing larger. She couldn't quite make out Tom's expression and wondered if he thought she was completely crazy. After all, she reasoned, how could she possibly not know the name or face of the man who fathered her child? B'Elanna stared down at her hands, still covered by Tom's larger ones.
"You don't have to be alone," Tom said quietly. B'Elanna glanced up, almost in shock at his words.
"I don't remember a time when I wasn't," she got the words out with difficulty. Her throat hurt now, and she really did think she would cry despite her best efforts not to.
"I have a hard time believing that," Tom said softly. "A really hard time."
"It's true," B'Elanna said. "If it wasn't, why can't I remember anything at all? I can't even remember him..."
In the background, Umali called for Tom and he groaned.
"Go," B'Elanna said. "I understand."
"Will you be okay?"
"Yes. Fine, I mean, I'll be fine. Thanks. Really. Thanks for everything."
B'Elanna swallowed hard and then let go of Tom's hand. He reached out to gently run his fingers across her cheek; to her shock, B'Elanna didn't flinch. She rather liked feeling his caress across her skin. There was nothing seductive about the touch, nothing that implied anything but friendship and concern, a genuine warmth that B'Elanna missed desperately.
"I'd better see what Umali wants, but if you need anything ever, please don't hesitate to ask. I mean it." Tom got from his chair and then looked back down at B'Elanna wistfully. "I can't imagine anyone wanting to leave you. I just can't."
The nights were the hardest. B'Elanna would lie in bed, usually with her hand on her swollen belly, trying to find a comfortable spot on the hard mattress. She was very aware of all the sounds surrounding her, from the gentle whir of the replicator recharging to the loud utility transports just outside the apartment complex. She would hear voices at all times of day and night. Loud voices, laughing, usually, people coming home from work, going home to warm, safe places.
Sometimes, when sleep was impossible, B'Elanna would curl her body into the large wicker chair on the balcony. The prior occupant of the apartment had filled the window boxes with brightly colored flowers and other greenery. B'Elanna didn't really know how to take care of plants so she would touch the soil, make sure it was moist, and if not, get some water. She really hoped she could keep the plants alive.
She imagined sitting out on the balcony in a rocking chair, cradling her baby in the soft glow of moonlight. She thought of pleasant summer nights and warm breezes.
And she thought of Tom and his smooth voice telling her, "I can't imagine anyone wanting to leave you. I just can't."
But she knew better. She couldn't name the occurrences, of course, but she knew better.
B'Elanna woke one night in a panic, sweating, and rushed into the bathroom to splash water on her face. And when she looked up, she saw the gentle ridges across her forehead. She knew why he - whoever he was - left.
She didn't understand why Tom couldn't see it too.