"Shh, it's okay." I soothed as I rubbed a cool cloth over the forehead of the blonde Sergeant. He had developed a fever from a gunshot wound that had gone septic. I had him on a strict antibiotic regiment and his fever had finally come down enough to allow his body to start shivering again. It was a good sign. Now all I had to do was make sure that it continued to fall and his chances of survival were good.
"Jo! Hey, Jo!" I turned to the sound of the medic's voice. "Jones needs yous."
"Alright, come here and keep him cool." I ordered as I stood up and handed the cloth to the medic. He took my place at the Sergeant's bedside and I ran into the main hall.
"What?" I heard Medic Jones question as I cut a path through the surgery room that we had to start using to house the worst of the wounded as our makeshift hospital started to fill up. The men were now practically sitting on top of each other and we didn't have enough beds for all the wounded. It wasn't unusual to hear the sound of the Chaplains reading the last rites to dying soldiers and, I'm ashamed to admit, I had started to get used to it.
"He's paralyzed." A familiar Cajun voice replied. I felt my heart drop to my chest as I rushed through the doors. "He can't feel a thing." I ran in and stopped short as I came to stand beside Roe. His eyes held a haunted look and I swallowed hard, afraid of whom I would find lying on the table.
"Jo?" A voice questioned. My head snapped around to the man on the bed.
"Smokey!" I cried as I shoved passed Roe and dropped down next to the Corporal.
"Jo," he whispered. "Jo, I can't feel my legs."
"Shh, it's going to be okay, Smokey." I said as I ran a hand through his hair in a comforting gesture. He sighed and closed his eyes. "I here blue, it's going to be okay."
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I had done everything I could for Smokey. I could only sit and wait for an opening in the German lines so that he could be evacuated and get proper treatment. In the meantime, i had to make sure that his wounds didn't become infected.
I sighed and rolled my shoulders as I sat by the Easy man's unconscious form. I intended to closed my eyes briefly, just to rest them, but I woke up half an hour later to an urgent shake on my shoulder.
"Jo, we need you." I nodded and sprang up from my position on the floor and ran to the men carrying a young Private down into the main hall.
"Put him here!" I ordered. I pulled back the bandage from his side to reveal a long gash that went from his third rib down to his pelvis. "Anna!" I called out and the young African nurse came running. "Prep him for surgery." I said. I knew she didn't truly understand what I said to her, but after the days I had spent here she seemed to be able to interpret the tone of my voice enough to know what it was I wanted.
It was two hours later that I stood in the middle of the our pitiful OR, rubbing the blood from my hands with an old rag as I surveyed the room. We were overfilled and the smell of blood and death mixed with the smell of bodies that hadn't bathed in weeks. It was enough to turn anyone's stomach.
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"Hey Smokey. How ya doin'?" I asked the corporal as I sat by his bed. I had finally found a small reprieve from my constant battle against death.
"I'm alright," he rasped out. "You, on the other hand, look like hell." I laughed.
"Don't sugar coat it on my behalf, tell me what you really think." I turned so my back was pressed against his bed. My head suddenly felt like it weighed a ton and I dropped it back to rest on the edge of Smokey's bed.
"Seriously Benny, when was the last time you slept?" I waved him off.
"I'm fine." I told him, closing my eyes. "I'm more worried about you. I'm not the one who with a bullet hole going straight through my body."
"Am I going to be okay, Benny?" He asked in a small voice. I grabbed his hand and pinched it. "Ow!"
"You're going to be alright, Smokey. It's going to take time for your body to heal and it's going to take a lot of effort on your part, but I think you're going to be okay." I let felt myself start to drift off into unconsciousness.
"Jo, we need you." My head snapped up and I rubbed my sore neck.
"Wha-?" I mumbled as my mind started to wake up.
"We need you, more wounded are coming in." I sighed and pulled myself up off the floor, popping the joints in my knees and back as I did so.
"Alright, I'll be right behind you." I mumbled to the medic.
"You've been asleep for about ten minutes," I turned at the sound of Smokey's voice.
"Eh, couldda been worse. It couldda been only five." I managed a small smile at the Corporal before I quickly made my way over to the newly wounded men.
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Renee came running up to me with a huge grin on her face. She pulled me into a hug and started to talk rapidly in French. I held her at arm's length and stared at her in confusion. She continued to babble on and on. I sighed in annoyance and began speaking rapidly in Navajo to her.
"What are you saying?" Renee stopped her tirade and looked blankly at me.
"Exactly." I grinned. She rolled her eyes.
"Mon Dieu! I said that there has been a break in the German line! We can move these men to sécurité… safety!" I sighed deeply in relief.
"Fan-fucking-tastic, call in all the jeeps and transport trucks we can get!" I ordered the surround medics. "Let's get these guy outta here while we still can!"
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"Hey Smokey. You ready to get home?" I asked as I grabbed the top of his stretcher and lifted.
"Home?" He asked eyes wide.
"Yeah, there's been a break in the line. We're getting you outta here." I smiled as a grin formed its way across Smokey's face.
"Home." He said softly. I handed the stretcher to the boys in the truck and patted Smokey's foot. "Hey, Benny, tell the guys I'll see them back in the states."
"I will, I promise." I smiled. "You work on getting better, ya hear me." He nodded.
"Yeah, I hear ya."
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December 25, 1944
"Jo." Renee called, a small smile on her face. "Joyeux Noël." She tossed me a bar of chocolate. I smiled at her.
"Ya'at'eeh Keshmish." I replied, a small, weary smile gracing my own face. I broke the bar into pieces and handed it out to the men, keeping a small piece for myself. I took a small bite of it and allowed it to slowly melt in my mouth. It wasn't the sweet milk chocolate I was used to, but a bitter dark chocolate. I closed my eyes and savored the taste.
"Jo! We got an arterial bleed in here!" I was off like a shot, my piece of chocolate left discarded on the small table.
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I sat in the doorway watching the snow fall softly to the ground. Growing up I had always loved the quiet that the winter snowfall seemed to bring to the word. I used to imagine it being a illegal to speak higher than a whisper on those days and now I found comfort in that silence. There were no cries of pain or moans of agony in the silence. There were no shouts of 'Jo, we need you,' in the silence. There was only peace.
I thought of Buck and George and wondered what they were doing right now. No doubt Luz would have found something to give his foxhole buddies for Christmas. I swear that man could barter for a drop of water in the desert. I missed the stupid jokes he would tell me to try and make me smile. I missed his smile.
Buck… oh Buck. I worried about the Lieutenant more than any other. I knew he was under a lot of stress and I knew something in that hospital had cracked his hard exterior. I wished I could be there, curled up next to him, stealing his body heat and trading stories with him. I knew that Bill was taking good care of Buck, watching out for him like I wished I could.
"Sergeant Benally!" A radioman came screaming up the steps of the church. "We have a wounded man over at Able's line and they're afraid to move him. They think he might have hurt his neck." I was up and moving in an instant.
"Alright, I need to grab some supplies. You get a jeep over here waiting for me when I get back." I called out as I ran into the church. I skidded to a halt inside our supply room and grabbed whatever I thought I might need.
"Jo, où vas-tu? Where are you going?" Renee asked as I packed a bag full of supplies.
"There's a wounded man over at Able Company's line. They're afraid to move him. I'm going to go over there and check him out." I said as I turned to the nurse.
"Soyez prudent." She said to me.
"You too." I slung my bag over my shoulder. "You're a good friend, Renee, and a good nurse." I said to her, appreciating her concern for my wellbeing.
"You are too." She replied. I smiled at her and ran out of the church, hopping into the jeep.
"Let's go." I ordered and the driver slammed on the gas.
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It was dawn by the time I had made it back to Bastogne. The wounded man had hurt his neck after he fell backwards into a foxhole during a sudden shelling. I had to immobilize his head and it took time to make brace from scratch. I had treated his wounds from the wood splinters as I gave direction to the men on how to build a sufficient enough neck brace.
"What the fuck happened here?" I asked as we pulled into the town. Mangled, burning piles rubble sat where houses and building once were. The smell of burning wood and brick filled my lungs, making it harder to breath. There were cries of anguish coming from all directions of the town as the natives shifted through the rubble of homes looking for keepsakes, looking for corpses.
"No," I whispered in horror as we pulled up in front of the church that had once been our makeshift hospital. The archway still stood, but the rest of the building had been destroyed in the blast. I jumped from the jeep and ran up the steps. Dread filled me as the smell of burning flesh and fresh blood hit my nose like a punch.
"Sergeant Benally?" A voice questioned from behind me. "Christ, Sergeant Banally! We thought you'd died in the hospital." I turned to find Medic Cooper standing behind me.
"Renee, Anna?" I questioned. He shook his head and I felt my stomach drop to the floor.
"Sergeant, we need you." I closed my eyes and forced back the tears that started to well up in them, pushing the heartache and exhaustion down with them. "We've got temporary hospital set up and it's already starting to fill up with wounded." I opened my eyes and motioned for the medic to hop into the Jeep with me.
"Alright, show me where this hospital is."
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"Lieutenant Welsh!" I exclaimed in surprise as I came up to the man after countless hours in surgery. "What the hell happened?"
"Dell." Was all he said and I raised an eyebrow in confusion. I lifted the pressure dressing on his leg, looking at the damage. Someone had already worked on him and they had done a damn fine job of it.
"You're going to be alright, sir." I patted his uninjured leg and smiled. He looked up at me like he was seeing me for the first time.
"Benny?" He asked.
"Yes, sir." I nodded.
"They said you were in that hospital." He said in awe.
"I wasn't." I tilted my head and observed the man in front of me.
"You look like hell." I snorted in amusement.
"Thanks, sir." I shook my head. "Gave you morphine, did they?"
"Yeah," a grin spread across his face.
"Yeah," I grinned. "You just lay back and rest, okay?" He nodded and was asleep within seconds.
"Sergeant Benally!" A medic called for me. I sighed deeply and ran over to the new batch of wounded.
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"We're running low on… everything. Bandages, plasma, food, everything." Medic Cooper informed me. I closed my eyes and sighed in worry.
"I didn't want it to come to this," I rubbed my eyes, "but we've got no choice. Raid the houses. Order the men to take only what we need, leave enough for the families to survive until the next drop." I ordered with a heavy heart.
"When will that be?" Cooper questioned.
"I don't know." I turned to the medic. "But let's hope that it's soon."
"Hey, Jo!" A blood covered medic yelled, breaking my attention from the man in front of me. "We've got a truckload of new wounded out here, we need you now!" Both Cooper and I were off like a shot, running out and into the truck full of bleeding men.
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I leant against a wall and sighed heavily having just finished working on Lieutenant with a gaping wound in his leg. Surgery was getting harder and harder now that I no longer had Renee and Anna to help me. The medics did what they could, but they didn't have the training that the nurses had. I was stuck teaching them the duties of a surgical nurse while I was trying to save the life of soldiers on the table and teaching them how to monitor and administer the proper amount of drugs as well as how to keep track of the patients' vital signs. It made all my efforts twice as hard. At least I could trust Renee and Anna with simple surgeries which gave me a reprieve, even if it was short one. But now I was alone in my efforts, I had to do all but the simplest of surgical tasks myself and the constant flow of wounded with fast decline of supplies made sleep a damn near impossible goal to attain. I was to the point that I was so tired that I was droning, literally starting to fall asleep on my feet between surgeries.
It was a rare opportunity that I found myself in at that moment, there were no new wounded that needed my attention and the ones I had already attended to were sleeping peacefully, or as peaceful as they could. I slowly slid down the wall, bringing my knees to my chest as I did so. I rolled my neck before I laid my head on my knees and closed my eyes. A dreamless sleep overtook me almost immediately.
"Jo." A voice called. "Jo, wake up." I was too tired to moan so the noise that came from my throat was more like a strangled breath. "C'mon Jo, we've got a patient." I moaned and cracked my eyes open, coming face to face with the bright green eyes of Medic Cooper.
"Alright." I whispered and sat up, stretching the sore muscles in my back. I leant my head back against the wall and felt my eyes start to close of their own accord.
"JO! Wake up!" Cooper yelled and shook me. "The patient is someone from Easy." That had my eyes snapping open faster than lightning.
"Why didn't you say so in the first place?" I growled as I grabbed his hand and allowed him to pull me up.
"I tried, you fell back asleep." He replied.
"Where is he?"
"He's already in the surgical room." I was off and running, brushing past the walking wounded and medics that found themselves in my way. Not that it was anything new, I was pretty sure they were used to seeing me sprinting across the room as I did so on a regular basis.
I skidded through the door and into the semi-clean room we used as a surgical unit. My focus was solely on the man on the table, he was a replacement from 3rd, one of the men I had never really bothered to get to know because of this very situation. I sighed in relief that it wasn't someone I knew and sprang into action, directing the medics as to what to do and how to do it. The boy's injuries weren't too bad. He had a sizable head wound, but it was just a gash, no fracture to the skull or swelling of any kind. I was able to stitch him up and once he was healed he would more than likely be sent back to the line.
"Alright, Coop, go ahead and wrap the wound for me." I said as I finished tying off the sutures. "Keep an eye on him and make sure he regains consciousness in a few minutes." Cooper nodded his head and I escaped through the doors, grabbing a rag and wiping my hands of blood as I did so. I brushed past the medics who were mulling around, no longer caring to make small talk with them. All I wanted to do was get back to my wall and crash.
"Jo." A familiar voice called, stopping me dead in my tracks. "Is it really you?" I sighed deeply and turned to face the owner of voice.
"Roe." I swallowed thickly. He stood there, staring at me with astonished blue-gray eyes, his mouth slightly agape. "How are you?"
My question seemed to break him out of whatever trance he was in and he quickly crossed the distance between us and pulled me into a tight hug. I was so stunned that it took me a moment before I was able to bring my arms up and return the man's embrace.
"Oh God, Jo." He whispered. "We thought you were dead!" He exclaimed, tightening his grip around my body as he did so. "We all thought you had died when the hospital collapsed." He pulled back and looked me in the eyes. I could see the tears that started to form in the corner of his blue-gray orbs. "How are you alive?"
"I was called to the front. Able had a wounded man they didn't want to move." I told him. "I was there when the town was attacked." He studied my face for a moment before bringing me in for another hug.
"I thought you were dead." He mumbled into my shoulder. "I thought the last thing I had said to was…" He trailed off and held me tighter. "God, Jo, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it, any of it."
"It's alright, Gene." I patted his back. He pulled away and looked at me, keeping his hands on my shoulders as if he were afraid I would disappear if he let me go.
"How can you say that?" He asked me with wide eyes. "After what I said to you-"
"Gene, you were under a lot of stress, we all were." I soothed. "You needed to let off some steam, I understand."
"No," He said, averting his gaze. "I thought it was… It could have been the last thing I ever said to you."
"But it wasn't," I told him nudging him so he would look at me. I looked into his eyes, "it wasn't."
He breathed deeply and dropped his head. I placed my hand on his shoulder and rubbed it, feeling the tension start to slowly ease from his body. He looked back up at me and I noticed a small tear had escaped from his eye. I resisted the urge to brush it away.
"You're alive." He said.
"Last time I checked." I grinned and he gave a small chuckle. His blue-gray orbs turned serious.
"Buck and George, they've been real torn up." He said and I felt my stomach drop to the floor. I swallowed hard as Buck's wild blue eyes came to my mind. Oh God!
"You have to go, Gene." I said as I grabbed his shoulders and lead him to the door. "You have to tell them that I'm okay." We made it out of the building and I stopped and ordered a Private to flag down a jeep.
"I'm sorry." Roe repeated.
"There's nothing to be sorry about." I replied. "Just let everyone know that I'm alright, let them know that I'm alive." I said to him as a jeep pulled up. He grabbed my shoulder one last time and squeezed it before jumping in the jeep and speeding off back to the line. I watched him go until I could no longer see the jeep and sighed as I made my way back inside.
I stared at the wall that had become my temporary bed, all thoughts of sleep left my mind as Buck's wild-eyed look stared hauntingly back at me from inside my memories. I felt the small amount of food I ate the day prior try and make its way up, but I pushed it back down. I was so afraid of what the word of my death had done to both Buck and George. I knew that if either one of them had died I would be beside myself with grief. They were my family, the only people in this world that I could count on and I would be lost without them.
I slid down the wall and picked at the flecks of blood on my hands, slowly flaking it off.
"Damnit!" I growled and slammed my head into the wall. If I hadn't have exposed myself to this, if I had of just let that kid die, I would still be there with George and Buck. I wouldn't be here, killing myself as I tried to save these men. I would be freezing, but I would be with my friends and I would know that they were safe.
But I knew, deep in my heart I knew I could have never let that boy die. I could have never left these wounded men here to die. I dropped my head to my knees and fought to suppress the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes. I bit my lip so hard that it bled, but I reveled in the pain. It allowed me to feel something other than mental anguish.
"Jo! We need you, now!" A medic covered in fresh blood yelled from across the room. I was immediately to my feet and running to the next wounded and bloodied man.
Funny how the one thing that was keeping me sane was the one thing that was slowly killing me.
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"Jesus, Benny. You look like shit." Lt. Welsh said as I brought him his food ration. I glared at him and took a seat next to his bed.
"Thank you, sir." I grumbled.
"No, really Benny. When was the last time you ate anything… when was the last time you slept?" He asked in worry.
"I'm fine." I grumbled. The truth was that we were running dangerously low on food rations. Our pantry was down to bits and crumbs, the majority of our supplies having been in the church. We had to boil and reuse bandages and we were almost completely out of morphine and plasma. I hadn't slept in days and I hadn't eaten more than a few crumbs. It was more important that the wounded get the food so their bodies had all the energy they could get to start the healing process. I moaned and rubbed a hand through my hair, I had never been so exhausted in my entire life. I felt like I would drop at any minute. The only thing that was keeping me going was the adrenalin rush I got every time my name was called in urgency. I groaned and popped my back as I sat up to check on Welsh's wound.
"How're you feeling?" I asked as I examined the wound.
"Been better." He mumbled through a mouthful of food. My stomach gave a quiet grumble but I ignored its protests.
"Well, you're still alive, that's something to be thankful for." He gave a humorless laugh.
"Yeah." I rolled my shoulders and stood up.
"Gotta get back to work. I'll come back by and check on you later." I muttered.
"Try and get some sleep." Welsh called after me and I gave a short wave to let him know that I heard him.
"Jo! We need you over here!" Cooper called out.
Sure. Sleep. Right.
"I'll sleep when I'm dead." I grumbled as I rushed over to the wounded man on the table.
If stress didn't kill me first.
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Droning- Ranger speak for falling asleep on your feet.
This chapter was a little heavy, but I figured that it would show the pure exhaustion that Jo felt with being the only surgeon and how she would have to be constantly called upon to fix the wounded men to the best of her abilities in the worst of conditions.
I did take a lot of liberties with this episode as did the writers of the series Band of Brothers. Renee and the African nurse were real people, but they did not work in Bastogne. They were nurses that worked at the 10th Armored Division aid station. Renee was actually killed in the bombing of the aid station, but the African nurse, whose name is Augusta Chiwi, survived the bombing and was seen as recently as 1999 in Brussels.
I've almost finished up to chapter 20, and I think I now have a pretty good idea at who Jo's romantic counterpart is going to be. I could tell you all who it is, but where would the fun in that be?
I would like to thank all my reviewers, britt, Azrael's Darkest Secrets, and my two newest reviewers, Ashlynn and Eliaw. Thank you all so very much for letting me know how you feel about my story. It means a lot to me.
britt- I'm glad you like my story enough to send two reviews for one chapter, lol! I didn't mind it at all! I loved Renee's accent in Trueblood, but I think Roe's accent is a little more charming. I'm glad you like the medical bits in there. Medicine is my passion, and I try to make the scenes feel as real as possible. Thank you so much for being one of my most faithful reviewers!
Ashlynn- Wow! You have no idea how excited I was when I opened up my e-mail to see 13 new reviews. I'm very excited that you enjoyed my story enough to go through and review every chapter of it. Thank you so much for your support!
Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Don't forget to leave a review!
Amanda
Revised 7/11/17