Saying goodbye to Buck taken more out of me then I could ever imagine. By the time we had returned to the line I was so mentally and emotionally exhausted that I spent the next few hours just going through the motions. By the time I was finished with my turn at the O.P. I was so tired I skipped dinner and returned to my oversized foxhole.
I stood a moment and stared at the empty space. Thoughts of all the times Buck and I had sat, talking deep into the night and laughing at stories of our childhood adventures flooded my mind and I felt a small, tired smile spread across my face. As I slid into my hole in the frozen earth, I knew that I was going to be fine. I knew that with time, I would no longer need to work myself to exhaustion to force myself into a dreamless sleep. I knew I would find solace in my memories of the laughs and jokes and stories that Buck and I had shared. I knew in time I would feel my heart beat again, I would feel the rush of my blood as it warmed my body. I knew I was going to be okay…
One day.
I yawned deeply and slithered underneath the branches that covered my temporary home. My back hit the cold, frozen earth and I feel into a deep, dreamless slumber.
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"Jo. Oh JoooJooo." I felt something tickle my nose and I reached up and rubbed it before turning over and trying to fall back to sleep. "Wakey, wakey. The sun is shining, the birds are singing… Dike's incompetents is showing through..."
I groaned and buried my head deeper into the itchy wool blanket. George chuckled and slapped me on the cheek.
"Jesus Christ bananas! What was that for?" I growled as my eyes snapped open and I rubbed my stinging cheek.
"It's time to wake up sleeping beauty." He raised an eyebrow and looked me over, taking in my wild hair and disheveled uniform. "Well, maybe beauty isn't the right word." I glared at him.
"Yeah, well… I wouldn't do you either." I muttered as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. He laughed and sat down beside me, covering himself with my blanket. I narrowed my eyes at him and pulled the blanket from his grasp before twisting myself in it and sticking my tongue out at George childishly.
"JoooJooo," he whined and gave me his best puppy dog eyes. "It's cold."
"You're fucking right it is." I muttered as I pulled the blanket around me tighter and snuggled my face into the wool.
"That's cruel, Jo." He narrowed his eyes at me. "I thought we were friends."
"We are." I answered.
"And you would let your friend freeze to death?" He gave an over exaggerated stage shiver.
"Yes." I answered without hesitation. He shivered again and I rolled my eyes. "Here," I unwrapped a corner of the blanket and let him crawl under it. He shoved his cold hands down my back and I jumped.
"Get fucked, " I hissed and shoved his hands away. He laughed and scooted closer to me.
"If I wasn't in the middle of nowhere, I would!" he snarked and I huffed in annoyance. "You've got a blanket again."
"Observant, no wonder you're a paratrooper." He glared at my obvious sarcasm.
"You figure out who's coming and checking on you in the middle of the night?"
"Not a clue." I tried to play it off but Luz could tell I was frustrated.
"You know, Jo, you don't have to know everything." He chuckled and poked my head. "Give it a rest in there, huh? Just be grateful there's someone out there that cares enough to get their ass up in the middle of the freezing cold night just to make sure you're okay."
"Yeah, because that's not something I would expect from my best friend or anything," I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Did I not just say freezing cold night?" He plastered an innocent look onto his face. I raised an eyebrow and sighed deeply.
"I pity the poor woman you'll dupe into marrying you," I joked.
"Yeah, well the man you marry is going to have to be fucking crazy," he shot back.
"If he marries me, he will be," I grinned.
"You're an odd one, JoJo." He narrowed his eyes at me. "You know that, right?"
"Takes one to know one, George."
"We are a blessed few, aren't we." He grinned back. We continued to talk and laugh, joking and telling stories until it was my turn at the O.P. He walked with me until I met up with Shifty then left for his own foxhole while the private and I made our way to the O.P.
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The next few days had found me pushing myself to the limit. I patrolled the lines over and over, making sure that there were no gaps in our perimeter. I worked myself to the point of exhaustion so that when night fell I would fall into a dreamless sleep as soon as my back hit the cold, frozen wall of my foxhole.
Someone continued to keep tabs on me through the night. I went to sleep without a blanket each night and woke up covered in one each morning. I tried to force myself to stay awake for as long as I could, hoping to catch him in the act, but I since I pushed myself to exhaustion, I always passed out before he came. I was left to wake up the next morning, covered in a blanket and utterly frustrated which amused George to no end.
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It was January 12th and we were ordered to take the town of Foy at 0900 the next morning. I sighed as Malarkey and I sat next to each other and overlooked the town that laid in front of us. Our attention was brought to Lt. Dike as he walked across in front of us and yawned.
"I wish Buck were here." He muttered to me as we watched the Easy Company CO walk past us.
"Me too." I murmured back with a nod.
"Hey Malarkey, Benny." Lip greeted as he knelt down beside us. "Winters wants you both there when he goes over the plan." He informed us. We glanced at each other before standing up and brushing the snow from our legs. Lipton led us over to the group of Lieutenants. Dike spared us a glance before completely ignoring us for the rest of the meeting.
"Sergeant Benally, Sergeant Malarkey." Winters greeted us. "Alright, let's begin."
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I stood in the dark and overlooked the town of Foy as the first rays of sun peaked out from eastern horizon. We were separated by a pasture of cut hay that had been abandoned when the war had overtaken the town. It now lay yellowed and useless in tall stacks that were topped with white snow. My mind momentarily drifted to the traditional Hogan my shi'nali hastii kept on his ranch for ceremonies. I felt a smile play across my lips as I thought of the winter months when it was topped with snow, a small trail of smoke coming for the center of the wood and clay structure. I remembered the warmth, the dusting of corn pollen and the smell of burning sage that permeated the room as the sound of traditional songs filled my ears and my heart beat in time with the drums. I imagined my shi'nali hastii leading a prayer of safe keeping for myself and my brother before we left for war. I silently whispered the words to myself as I sang along with him in my mind.
"Hózhóogo naasháa doo.
Shitsijí' hózhóogo naasháa doo.
Shikéédéé hózhóogo naasháa doo.
Shideigi hózhógo naasháa doo.
T'áá altso shinaagóó hózhóogo naasháa doo.
Hózhó náhásdlíí'.
Hózhó náhásdlíí'.
Hózhó náhásdlíí .
Hózhó náhásdlíí."
"Sgt. Benally." A voiced called from behind me breaking me from the pleasant memories and I suppressed a groan.
"Lt. Speirs." I turned and greeted as the man walked up to me.
"You're company is leading the attack on Foy today, yes?" He asked. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion, knowing it was a question he already knew the answer to.
"It is, sir." He gave me a curt nod.
"And you're completely focused on the task at hand, Sergeant?" I felt my temper start to get the best of me. He was insinuating that I would lead these men into an attack without mentally being there for them and it pissed me off to no end. I swallowed back my anger and stood as straight as an arrow.
"Completely, sir." I grounded out through slightly clenched teeth. He studied me for a moment.
"Your platoon, 2nd, it doesn't have a leader, does it." I scoffed and resisted the urge to ask 'Just my platoon?' But I knew questioning my CO would not go over well with the Lieutenant.
"No, sir."
"You're senior NCO, correct?" I was not liking where this line of questioning was going.
"I am, as well as Sgt. Malarkey." He narrowed his eyes at me in the same sort of curiosity a cat has before it pounces on a mouse and tears it apart.
"You'll be expected to keep your men together, to get them through this," he tilted his head slightly.
"1st Sgt. Lipton will be there," my mouth was tight with anger.
"Yes, but 1st Sgt. Lipton has an entire company to look after." He crossed his arms. "Your platoon is going to be looking to you and Malarkey for guidance today. Are you both ready for that?" He didn't mean it as an insult, but it stung nonetheless.
Four years I had trained to be an officer, a combat leader. I was a combat experienced platoon leader and I knew how to take soldiers into war. I was ten times the leader Dike would ever be and I wanted to shout that at him. Shake him until he understood that I was more capable of leading these men then Dike was.
But in this time and place I was a just a Sergeant and he was a Lieutenant. I took a deep calming breath before I answered him.
"I'm ready and I'm confident in Sgt. Malarkey." I replied.
"Good." He nodded. "Let's just hope that confidence isn't misplaced." I felt my jaw drop as I floundered for words. He just grinned and disappeared into the snow before I had a chance to say anything.
"That mother fucker." I muttered. I heard a laugh come from behind me and resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Sgt. Lipton." I greeted as I turned to face him.
"Benny." He returned the greeting. "Have a nice chat?" I groaned and he chuckled..
"Lt. Speirs does seem to enjoy sneaking up on me an inordinate amount." I groaned and Lip grinned.
"You ready for today?" It was nearly the same question that Speirs had asked but he wasn't insinuating that I wasn't capable of leading, just wondering if I was prepared.
"Yeah, I was about to go and check up on the rest of Second before my judgement was called into question." I replied with an eyeroll to which the 1st Sgt. smirked at.
"Good. You know I'm going to be looking to you and Malarkey to help me lead Second." He said as he clapped me on the shoulder.
"As much as we'll be looking to you to lead the company today?" I grinned and he shook his head at me.
"Benny." He said in a warning voice.
"Oh cut the bullshit Lip. You know the only person Easy Company will trust out there is you." I told him, looking him in the eye and crossing my arms as I leant in towards him. "Dike's going to get our men killed out there today. He's not a leader, he's a desk jockey who should have never been allowed to step foot into the field."
"I know, Jo." He rested a hand on my shoulder. "That's why I'm counting on you two to help me with second so I can keep on eye on Dike." He squeezed my shoulder briefly before stepping back. "Get the men ready, Benny." He ordered.
"On it." I nodded and he smiled at me in recognition before we both went our own ways. I made my way over to second and woke those who had yet to stir.
"We ready?" I asked Malarkey as I sat down in the snow next to him.
"Ready as we'll ever be." He sighed and I clapped him on the shoulder before pulling out a map from my jacket.
"Let's go over this once more, make sure we don't fuck this up," I said as I laid it out in front of us and we went over the plan of attack.
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I sat with my ass in the snow as I prepared my gear for the assault on Foy. George plopped down next to me with his radio on his back and a disgruntled look on his face. I raised an eyebrow at him and continued with my preparations.
"Urgh." He made a sound of disgust and tossed his cigarette butt violently to the ground. I grinned.
"Penny for your thoughts?" I finally said as I placed my last grenade in its holster.
"I've been ordered to stay with Dike." He groaned out and I couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped from my mouth. "It's not funny." He growled and punched me in the arm.
"You're right, it's fucking hilarious, " I said through my laughter as I rubbed my sore arm. "Why?"
"He doesn't want to be out of touch with Winters during the assault." He whined.
"Welp… you're pretty much fucked." I said offhandedly as I stood up.
"Thanks for the support." George grumbled.
"That's what friends are for," I grinned as I held out a hand to help him up. He glared at it and pushed it away and I shrugged as I stood back to watch him try to struggle to his feet with the clunky radio strapped to his back. He floundered for a moment before looking up at me and sticking his hand out.
"Low five." I grinned as I slapped his hand. He glared at me.
"Help me up, asshole." He grumbled and I laughed as I grabbed his hand and pulled him up. I slapped him on the back and brought him closer to me.
"Be careful out there today." I said, all humor dropping from my voice as my tone became dead serious. "Don't do anything stupid. I don't think I could stand losing you too."
"Don't worry, JoJo." George said, squeezing my hand. "You can't get rid of me that easily." I smiled and nodded as I squeezed his hand in return. I wanted to say more to him, but Lip called out to the Company to get ready. I smiled once more at George before dropping his hand and moving over to Second.
"Ready?" I asked as I came to stand beside Malarkey.
"As we'll ever be," he replied. I surveyed the men, taking in the faces of the new recruits. Their faces were pale and their knuckles were white from gripping their rifles so tight. They looked at me, wide-eyed and scared, silently begging me to get them through this.
"Deep breath kids." I said to them as the call went out.
"EASY COMPANY! LET'S MOVE OUT!"
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Machine guns rang out from around us as we ran through the trees and into the open field.
"KEEP MOVING!" I yelled as Malarkey, Lip and I led second platoon into battle for the first time without Buck. "MOVE IT! LET'S GO!"
Tank blasts and rounds from the 88's started to fall around us as the Germans opened fire.
"KEEP GOING!" I yelled as I pulled up a replacement from Third who had tripped in front of me. "DON'T STOP!"
"EASY COMPANY! HOLD UP!" Dike's cry went out. I caught Lips eye and shook my head.
"HOLD UP!" I ordered as Lip called out for second platoon to hold. "FIND COVER!" We both ordered as the shells and bullets whizzed by us. "FIND COVER!" I yelled until the last of Second had found their way out of the open field.
"The fuck is he doing?" I growled to Lipton.
"I don't know, Benny." He sighed as I ordered the men to stay down. "But let's find out. Herron, Benny, on me. HOLD FAST SECOND PLATOON!"
We ran in a low crouch to the haystack that Dike had taken shelter behind. "Stay on my ass!" Lipton yelled as Herron and I followed along behind him.
"On your six, Lip!" I yelled.
"What are we doing, Lieutenant?" Lt. Shames questioned as we crouched next to Dike who looked lost.
"Why are we stopped?" Lipton growled.
"We can't stay here, sir." I ground out through clenched teeth.
"FALL BACK!" Dike yelled out across the field. "FALL BACK!" Lip pulled him back around so he was facing us and I motioned for the men to hold their positions.
"Fucking useless." I muttered as Lip ordered Herron back to second. He looked at me and I shook my head. "He's gonna get us all killed." I hissed.
Lip nodded once to me and turned back to the Lieutenant. The events that followed were complete and utter chaos. Lt. Foley came on the scene and I watched as everyone started yelling at Dike, asking him what he wanted us to do. He was still the CO of Easy, so we couldn't do anything without his orders and he was about to get us all killed. We were just sitting here, giving the Germans the perfect chance to line up their mortar rounds and zero in on us.
"Lieutenant, what's the plan?" Lipton asked slowly.
"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!" Dike repeated in a panicky voice.
Everyone was talking at once trying to get Dike to tell us what to do and I watched the shit show unfold before me in disgust. I wanted nothing more than to take control of the company and lead the assault in, but I wasn't a Captain Benally anymore and that had never been more apparent than when Dikes panicked voice rang out over the voices.
"Okay, okay, Foley!" He screamed. "Foley, you take your men, you take your men on a flanking mission around the village, and attack it from the rear!"
We all looked at him in stunned shock as he spouted out a plan that was sure to get 1st platoon killed.
"Dike, we cannot stay here!" Lipton yelled.
"You want 1st platoon to go 'round and attack the village by itself?" Foley questioned in anger and disbelief.
"We will provide suppressing fire." Dike said, getting into the Lt.'s face.
"We're gonna be kinda alone out there, Lieutenant." Foley growled in frustration as Lipton told Dike that we couldn't stay here and Luz tried to get Dike on the phone with Winters.
"We will provide suppressing fire!" Dike yelled and banged his fist on the ground like a small child throwing a temper tantrum. Everything went quiet as Foley made his way back to First platoon. A few steps from the cover of the haystack, the soldier following Foley was shot down by the Germans.
"You need to talk to Captain Winters, sir." Luz stressed as he held the radio to Dike who just looked around us in a state of confusion.
"Suppressing fire, now!" Lipton ordered and we did what we could to try and keep the Germans off of 1st platoon's ass.
"Lip, this won't work. First platoon is gonna be massacred." I said to him as I crouched next to him and fired my rifle.
"I know, Benny." He growled and as we tried to locate a sniper who was taking out First platoon one by one. "There, the building with the caved in roof!" he pointed out.
George relayed the sniper's position to Foley as Lipton and I moved back to where Dike was hidden. The CO was sitting there, staring off into space, I knew then that we had lost him and we were on our own. Lip tried to get him to tell us what he wanted us to do, but he just sat there in silence staring at something only he could see. I turned away from the Dike in disgust and moved over to George, trying to distract the sniper from 1st platoon. I reloaded my gun as I chanced a glance back at our catatonic CO and caught sight of a familiar looking figure running through the haze of dirt and gun smoke.
Lieutenant Speirs slid to a halt in front of Dike and grabbed him by the lapel of his coat.
"I'm taking over," he said to Dike who numbly nodded his head.
"First Sergeant Lipton!" Speirs yelled as he stood up and calmly walked over to Lip. "What have we got?"
I turned my attention back to the sniper's nest, chancing a quick glance at George. A small smile came to my lips and George breathed a huge sigh of relief.
"Sir, most of the company is spread out here. First platoon tried and end around, but they're stretched out, they're pinned down by a sniper. I believe he's in the building with the caved-in roof."
"Alright, I want mortars and grenade launchers on that building 'til it's gone. When it's gone I want first to go straight in, forget going around, everybody else, follow me." Speirs ordered as he stood and ran out into the field. I looked once more at George before I sprinted after the Lieutenant.
"Let's go Second! On the CO!" I ordered as Lip ordered 2nd to do the same. "KEEP MOVING! LET'S GO!"
The Nazi army began to scatter as we finally reached the outskirts of the town of Foy. I skidded to a halt and took cover behind a wall as Speirs, Lip and Luz took cover on the other side of the street from me. I glanced around the wall and fired at the Germans as they pulled back. McClung fell in beside me as I reloaded my gun.
"Sergeant, what's going on?" He asked.
"Speirs is in charge now." I pointed my chin across the road.
"Thank God." He whispered as I peeked back around the corner. I pulled my head back around when a bullet whizzed by my face, leaving a cold chill on my skin. I growled and fired my rifle around the corner, pulling back when I needed to reload again.
"What the fuck is he doing?" McClung said in awe. As I turned and glanced around the corner, I felt my jaw go slack at what I saw.
Lt. Speirs was running down the road and straight through the company of Nazi soldiers as if they weren't even there. He ran through the haze of the smoke grenades and past the tanks. The German's were so stunned that they just watched him pass without firing on him. I had never seen anything like it in my life. I breathed deep and swung around the corner to provide covering fire for the Lieutenant as he ran past the German soldiers and hopped over the low fence to connect with I company. It was several moments before we caught sight of the Lieutenant as he hopped back over the fence and ran right back through the German lines until he met back up with Luz and Lipton. I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I turned to McClung .
"What a fucking maniac."
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I would like to thank all my reviews ally leigh, VendingMachine, Lift the Wings, EmmyMK, britt, Azrael's Darkest Secrets, CP2girls, and Ashlynn, and to my newest reviewer B.D.S. Thank you all, your reviews mean the world to me!
B.D.S- Welcome to the story! I so very happy to hear that you like it! I'm glad you somehow stumbled across it and have come to love it so much! Thank you so much for the review!
britt- I understand how fried brain feels, I've been suffering from a case of it myself. I'm still not telling anyone who she's going to be paired with, but as I've said to everyone else, I love to hear you all's guesses! It's wonderful to know that you guys are so into the story that you actually want to know who she is going to be paired with! Sorry this chapter took so long to get out, but I am going to be watching the series again this weekend, so hopefully I get a little inspiration from it. Thank you so much for your review!
Ashlynn- I'm sorry I made you cry! I'm glad you liked how I handled it though, and writing Speirs is a challenge, but it is also a lot of fun. As for the caretaker, you'll just have to wait and see! I'm glad you liked the goodbye, it was hard for me to write, and actually took about a week before I was satisfied with it. I agree, my brother was a lot different when he came back from Afghanistan as I know that no matter what I do, I will never understand what he went through. Thank you very much for the review!
Please let me know what you think of this story, good, bad, not so bad, just let me know!
Please take the time to leave me a review, it is always greatly appreciated!
Amanda
Translation:
In beauty I walk
With beauty before me I walk
With beauty behind me I walk
With beauty above me I walk
With beauty around me I walk
It has become beauty again
It has become beauty again
It has become beauty again
It has become beauty again
shi'nali hastii- paternal grandfather
Edited 7/14/17