Wednesdays were Ste's least favourite days.

They couldn't stay in bed as long as usual, because Brendan had to get up and get showered and dressed before he had to leave the house at ten thirty. There was no point for Ste to stay in bed without him, so he got up too and made them breakfast even when Brendan didn't have the appetite, but he usually ate something after Ste had gently nagged him about it. And when he had to go Ste walked him to the door and they would kiss and hug and Ste would tell him to drive safely, like it was any other day when Brendan had a early meeting or when he left for gym or for a run.

Only after Brendan had gone Ste would let himself drop the cheerfulness and he would try to keep himself busy with chores, or watching telly to try and stop the worrying eating his insides like a worm.

Because on Wednesdays Brendan didn't leave for a gym, or for a run, nor did he have a meeting in a club. Wednesdays were therapy days.

It had been Cheryl's suggestion. She had been seeing a therapist since she learned the truth about Seamus, needing someone she could open up about the guilt and the shock. After few sessions therapist had asked would she and Brendan consider a family therapy, to go through their childhood traumas together.

Brendan had said no at first. He had got enough for support groups and therapy in the past and said he wouldn't need any now. He had been on the edge for days, getting defensive every time Ste tried to bring the subject up. Until one day he had found Ste crying in the kitchen – Ste hadn't mean to, he had tried to keep his own emotions at bay for not to guilt trip Brendan to do anything he didn't want to. But while Ste had been folding the kids clothes after washing them he had started to think Brendan as a child, and how much he had been hurt and how much he was still hurting. Brendan found him bawling into Lucas's shirt, held Ste tight and Ste had sobbed against his chest how much he loved him and needed him to be okay, and Brendan had agreed to try.

So now each Wednesday he left from home at ten thirty to drive on the other side of the town to meet Cheryl and their therapist, and for 90 minutes they talked and cried and, Ste hoped, healed.

This Wednesday had not been any different and after Ste had done the dishes, hoovered and cleaned the bathroom he still had some time on his hand before Brendan's return. He tried to read a lifestyle magazine Tony had sent for him; they had made an spread of Tony and his restaurant, and he was very proud of it, but the letters were jumping in Ste's eyes more than usual and he could hardly understand a word so he tried to watch some telly instead. At quarter to one Ste went in the kitchen and put the kettle on, and then he returned to sofa and waited.

Ten minutes later he heard the keys in the lock, and he resisted the urge to rush to meet Brendan – Sometimes he needed space after the sessions – so he stayed in the sofa instead, pretending he was watching the reruns of some nature show.

He looked up as Brendan appeared by the door. He looked tired.

"Hiya. Alright?" Ste hoped he sounded cheerful even when his gut was twisting.

Brendan sloughed to him, sat heavily on the sofa and then turned to push Ste to lean against the armrest and laid himself down so half of him was in Ste's arms. He instinctively took hold of Brendan and stroked his hair and his shoulders. After a while he could feel the tension in Brendan's body leave. "Alright?" he asked again and Brendan took a deep sigh.

"Cheryl had got a call."

"From who? You mean... Not from Seamus?" Ste couldn't hide the anger he felt even just from saying that name out loud. Brendan shook his head against Ste's chest.

"From a hospital. In Bristol. They had taken him in."

"In Bristol?" How the hell had be end up there, Ste thought, and then he decided he didn't even care. "And?"

"And she had said she doesn't want to know and that there was no point of calling her. But she was very upset." Brendan pushed himself up a bit so he wasn't in Ste's lap anymore, but more of a leaning against his shoulder. "She regretted of not talking to him."

"Really?" Ste's other hand was still around Brendan's shoulders and he kept stoking his hair. Brendan nodded.

"Part of her did. Does. The other... Well, she's feeling very torn about it all. Things that are right. Things that she thinks she should do."

Ste thought about it. "Makes sense, I suppose. It's all still new for her. But Brendan," he waited until Brendan looked at him, "she loves you. She just haven't had as much time to process it all as you do."

"I know." Brendan gave him half a smile before he got serious again. "The therapist talked about forgiveness. Said it was healthier to forgive than stay angry for years. She asked could either of us ever imagine of forgiving him."

Ste run his fingers trough Brendan's scalp, and watched as he closed his eyes while he leaned more to the touch. It made Ste happy, to see how his small actions could calm Brendan.

"Could you?" He asked quietly.

"Cheryl said she wasn't sure. That she was still going through the.. steps or whatever. I... I think I'm okay with accepting it happened and moving on from there. I don't need to forgive him."

"Good." Ste said and Brendan turned to look at him. "I mean, you can forgive him all you want, if you want, or not, as long as you're okay. But me... I can't. I'll hate him forever for what he did and be sorry that I didn't properly run him over."

Brendan leaned closer and kissed him. It was a long kiss, and even when it was gentle there was power in it; Ste could feel Brendan's love and desire for him through it and his lips tingled when Brendan pulled away.

"I love you, Steven Hay." His breath was warm against Ste's face,

"And I love you. Can you believe I'm not gonna be Hay much longer?"

"No? You gonna change your name?" Brendan lifted his eyebrows and Ste realised they hadn't even talked about it before.

"Of course I will."

"Steven Brady." Brendan tried and Ste grinned how it sounded, rolling out from Brendan's tongue.

"Or Brady-Hay. Haven't decided yet."

"Brady-Hay. I like it." Brendan kissed him again. "Have you made up your mind about the reception yet?"

"Oi, why it's me who has to make all the plans? It's your wedding too. Besides, there's not gonna be many guests so we could all just fit in a pub afterwards for a pint and something to eat, or have it in Baile or something."

"You sure it's gonna be romantic enough for you?" Brendan teased. "The whole thing, just doing the vows in a registry, not gonna want anything with white doves and harmonicas playing in the background? Get married in a field or in a ice rink, no?"

"No." Ste smiled and shook his head. "I just want it done, I don't care about the event, I just want that in the end of the day you'll be mine."

He expected Brendan to tease him more, but instead his eyes went soft and he seemed to want to say something but struggled with words, so Ste just gave his hair one last stroke.

"Wanna have a cuppa? I think the water is still hot in a kettle."

"That sounds good." Brendan rose up to sit properly so Ste could get up. He had almost made it for the doorway when Brendan called him. "Steven? Thank you."

He gave Brendan a smile over his shoulder. When he stood in the kitchen sorting out their teas his heart felt lighter from the way he had made Brendan forget the dark thoughts even for a minute.