Freedom

Narcissa Malfoy wasn't his only sexual exploit, of course. Prostitutes roamed Hogsheads freely at night, and the Hogs Head's business soared. A room at The Three Broomsticks was speedy, and mostly for the common traveler. At Hogs Head, you didn't even have to give your real name. Not that he ever did. It didn't matter if the barmen knew you personally, you could be 'Jack' and then 'Joe' and then 'Rick' in three consecutive nights, as long as you paid, you got upstairs. A fact he took advantage of.

Of course, none of the students knew about these women. They weren't allowed during the night, and it was dusk when the atmosphere changed. In mere hours it went from varsity to Vegas. It was an interesting social dynamic.

The windows of the house were open today as it rained. The screens on the windows caught most of the drizzle, but everything was still damp. The house had finally gotten too hot for him, he had stalked around it naked for three days before finally admitting this to himself. So the windows were open, and a breezy chill soared throughout the house. The only window that didn't have a screen was his bedroom. He had kicked it out when he was eight so he could get out whenever he needed to. A decision he didn't regret in the slightest because the older he got, the more necessary it became.

So there he was, shivering in the basement in his usual black robes, almost hunched over the flame from below the cauldron. He had gotten all of his work done, of course, for Bellatrix and Poppy. This was for personal pleasure now. He had been inventing potions since he was 20. Eventually, when he completed one, he sent it to Dryracts to patent it. It had started out as almost nothing when he was younger, but over time his reputation grew, and he could live off the rations of his hobby alone if he really wanted. Not to mention Hogwarts pay, which he simply put away in Grigotts, needing neither food nor lodging. Even the house was paid for, he had paid it off as soon as it got put in his name. He snorted, that was a rather fond memory.

It started when he was 14. Eileen was off god knows where with god knows who, but that didn't stop Tobias from getting drunk. Problem was, he was an even bigger alcoholic then Severus was, and he couldn't find his way home half the time. So, he would ring the home phone to find Severus home alone, studying, to come find him. After a particularly nasty incident involving Severus and a bar brawl one night, which he had walked out with not even a scratch while the other man hard limped out (magic was a wonder) Tobias had decided to illegally teach his son to drive. Eileen wasn't home much these days, preferring to prostitute then get smacked at home, and wasn't around to say no. So, several nights between the summer of his fourth and fifth year, he was behind the wheel. He had gotten a tooth knocked out the year after for burning out the clutch. But he knew how, at least then, but by the time he came home the year following that incident, he had had enough.

Severus didn't know if it counted as murder or not. But if it did, technically it was his first one. And it was the only one he felt absolutely no guilt whatsoever about.

He had turned 17 six months prior, and he had come home to find his father in the worst star he had ever seen him. If you breathed wrong, Tobias would slam doors, scream, and throw things. If you said something to him that was perceived as disrespectful (also known as standing up for yourself, he recalled) you were lucky to come out of it without bloodshed. And heaven forbid you openly fought with him.

They were drowning financially, Tobias' drinking had put them in more debt then anyone had thought possible. In fact, it was mostly Eileen keeping them afloat at this point. The house was about to be foreclosed on. And he still kept drinking more and more.

Severus hadn't bothered to tell Tobias he had come of age. It didn't matter really, all you had to do was say 'magic' and you'd come out of it with bones broken. So, it was a late July night when he found himself, like so many times before, behind the wheel. Tobias was in the backseat, screaming. There weren't even words anymore; he was just screaming like a toddler. And as he drove, Tobias saw a woman on the sidewalk. He had rolled down the window and started catcalling. To Severus's horror, he realized the woman was Lily. "What's a pretty little bird like you doing out alone?" He had slurred out "Why don't you come find a bed next to me?"

It was an absolute horrible image that got placed in his mind then. Her, screaming at him to stop as he laughed and took her drunkenly, calling her all the things that women should never be called. His Lily.

Not his Lily anymore. But that didn't matter to him.

He sped up the car, grateful that Lily had never met his father. Once they were safely at home, he had turned to his father, and dragged him in the house. He was more angry then he had ever been in his entire life, as more and more details got added to the image. Enough. He focused as hard as he could about Death Valley in America (he had been studying other cultures at this point in one of his books, and he knew that if he wanted to get away with this, the further away the better). In one swift movement he had grabbed his father and Apparated.

It was hot, he remembered that much. Tobias

lurched from the sensation of apparating, and

He was himself, falling over-

he had thrown up on him. Severus hated it, he had never gotten used to the retching noises or the splatter sound. When he was a child and he heard this, he'd cry and beg whatever gods existed for it to please, please stop. Tobias had come in his room by mistake one night, and thrown up in front of him. He was six, and he screamed. He was crying, asking his father why, and please please stop. Tobias had stumbled into the bathroom, and Severus got up to find the whole house covered in it. The counters. The floor. It was everywhere. He had taken some napkins, this six year old little boy did, and he had covered it all up. It seemed the whole house was covered in them. And after that, he just crawled back into bed, his nose wrinkled, and tried to sleep as his father heaved in the next room.

That was the first flashback he was aware of having, and he had it then. Now, it was all over him. The one thing that made him weak. So Severus had vanished it, and preformed the Full Body Bind on his father. He beat him within an inch of his life, so he wasn't even recognizable anymore, and he left. He had disapparated back home, showered, and went to bed, shaking with terror about what he had done-

He was on the ground again, sober this time, but he smelled it before he felt it. His nose wrinkled and it was all over him it was all over his robes his cheeks. His hair. Everywhere.

He didn't know who he was anymore. He didn't know how old he was, he didn't know anything anymore.

Tobias had never been found. His mother had filed a missing persons report, and when he didn't come home, eventually, the house was put in Severus's name. Elieen didn't exist in the Muggle world, whilst Severus had been born in it. He had a birth certificate, a social security number. He was a member of society. So the house had been placed in his name. His mother had gotten sick not too long after. Some Muggle tests had revealed that she had late stage AIDS from her days of prostitution, and she had died soon after. So Severus was 22 years old, a Death Eater, a teacher, and a home owner in the Muggle world all at the same time. He worked and had the house paid off in a few years, Tobias and Eileens debt dying with them. He was free, and he was also the most tied down man he knew.

He snorted as he got up and vanished the mess. He had never been free. And he never would be.

So before anyone complains about the shortness of this chapter, I want you to know that this actually happened to me. My mother did stumble home one night, drunk. She came in my room and threw up on the carpet. I was that little six year old that covered everything in the house with napkins. And that did become one of my first traumatizing memories. So this is short, but it did take me a lot of effort to write. I hope you can understand.