Chapter 4:The sad clown

Every cheer felt like a punch in the guts and every smile felt like a sharp knife cutting his skin. Normally this was one of his favorite things in the world, everybody cheering and the children's smiles radiating positivity through the room, but not today.

He made his last somersault of odd eyes pendulum dragon's head and executed a perfect landing, keeping his best fake smile on his face.

His arms were stretched out as he took his bow to the audience. The cheers were at there loudest and he thought he was going to be sick.

He was still bowing when the curtains drew close in front of him. He stood there for a moment longer, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath finally dropping his smile. He knew he should be happy that the show made the kids smile. During his entire career of entertainment dueling and duel monster shows like this he never got tired of it, but today he just couldn't do it.

He finally opened his eyes and saw Yuzu dashing over to him from behind the stage.

"You were fantastic" she exclaimed, patting him on the shoulder.

"Na, you were better" he told her, putting the smile back on his face and trying to sound cheerful.

He really did think that. Even if he wouldn't have been distracted, he would have still thought that the coordinated musical and dance performance involving her Melodious monsters was clearly the high light of the grand opening of the new domino city You Show Duel School branch.

"Is everything ok?" she asked, with a concerned look on her face.

"Yes of course, of course." he replied quickly, while rubbing his neck and smiling even harder.

"Yuya you know you can't hide anything from me." Yuzu declared, with a stern look on her face. It was true of course. He couldn't hide the tiniest thing from her.

"I'm just jealous that your show was so much better than mine." he laughed weakly.

The look on her face told him that she didn't buy a word of that, but also that she could not quite tell what was going on.

Someone called Yuzu from backstage. Yuya, knowing that this was a battle he couldn't win, used that distraction to dash off the stage.

"I'm going to the dressing room. Your show was great. I will come back later." He called to her as he was making his escape. He did not see it, but he felt her eyes in his back.

Once in the dressing room Yuya slumped himself down in the chair and once again took a deep breath.

He cursed himself once again for not enjoying the smiles he got during the show. That was always his dream, bringing smiles to people, bringing love and joy and having a perfect family to boot.

All the smiles he made today and all the kids who will learn to love dueling like he does here are important, he knew, but today he could only think about one smile he couldn't bring and one kid who will never love duel monsters again.

His thoughts started to wonder.

What felt like a long time ago:

Yuya was lifting all the heavy chairs up and started moving them from the house into the garden.

He huffed and wondered why nobody was helping him with this difficult task.

The large Sakaki-Hiragi garden behind the house was decorated with balloons, garlands and confetti. It was flooding with bright colors. In the middle stood a long table that was already set with red, blue and green forks, knifes and plates.

After dropping the stack of chairs next to the table outside, he caught his breath and looked around. He saw that Yuzu was balancing on a chair trying to hang a large banner between the tree close to the house and the house wall.

They had been working all morning. Yuzu had decorated the house with great excitement , she was always good at that sort of thing.

Yuya stood there for a moment admiring her and just how perfect everything was.

Once the banner was secured she gracefully jumped off the chair and looked at Yuya.

"Why did that take so long?" she playfully mocked him. She was tapping her foot on the ground and put her hands on her hips.

"Yuzu…" he cried, defeated.

Then she started laughing and he couldn't help but smile a little too.

"What are you two laughing about?" Yuri asked, as he came out of the house.

Nowadays he had switched out his academia uniform for a violet casual suit. He was still very overdressed in most situations and Yuya felt like he liked sticking out with his choice of clothing.

"oh, it's nothing" Yuya answered, still smiling "wait a second. Why didn't you help me with the chairs?"

Yuri started to have a wicked smile on his face.

"I was… ahh… busy. Helping Serena in the kitchen" he answered his eyes looking up as if he was trying really hard to find an answer. "You know if you leave her alone in there for too long she would blow up the house."

"What the hell, Yuri!" Serena yelled as she also walked out of the house and entered the garden. "Your food would poison us all with only one bite."

They started a small argument. Yuya got the feeling they did that often and that it wasn't too serious. They always tried to one up each other and to find any weakness in the others argument. Then five minutes later there were holding hands under the table and looked at each other like they were talking without words. Yuya didn't understand it.

Yuya honestly didn't understand what the two saws in each other at all, but he couldn't deny that Yuri had gotten a lot better over the years and Serena also seemed to have gotten over everything well.

When he asked Yuzu about it she told him that it was something none of them could understand, but she also said that she could feel that the two were good for each other.

It still made him uncomfortable. He could not understand how someone could get joy out of a competitive discussion, even if it wasn't serious.

"So, guys do you like the banner?" Yuya asked breaking the two out of their competition.

They looked at him for a moment in confusion before he pointed to the large banner Yuzu had hung up.

It said in bright colors: "Happy birthday Yusaku!"

The two stood there for a moment, but instead of looking excited, they were looking shocked.

"I made it for today. I hope he will like it." Yuzu said proudly. Yuzu would always go all-out on the birthdays of their own kids, decorating the whole house, but something told him Serena and Yuri have not expected something like this.

"Ahh. It is very nice Yuzu and I am sure he will love it." Serena muttered, getting her nerves back first. "Isn't it, Yuri?"

Yuri was still looking at the banner slack-jawed. Serena elbowed her significant other in the ribs after a long and awarded moment.

He made a quite sound of pain before looking at Yuzu.

"Yeah it is great. Thank you" Yuri managed to say at last.

That confirmed a suspicion that Yuya had ever since the two asked Yuri and Serena to celebrate a big birthday party at their house. At first there were relucted to accept, but after days of Yuya telling them how great it would be and Yuzu telling them how much Yusaku would love it to celebrate with all the other kids they finally agreed.

Naturally it would involve inviting everyone they knew to a giant get together and now it was clear the two were, or at least Yuri was, not very comfortable with this, but Yuya didn't know what they could do now so he went back to preparing the party.

They quietly went back to work and Yuya lost track of time. When he turned around he could not see anyone in the garden.

Yuya thought that they must have went back inside, so he went into the house to look for them.

He entered the living room which was also fully decorated with duel monster themed decoration, but he could still see nobody.

The kitchen door and the door to their bedroom were open.

He could hear voices for the inside the bedroom and he went closer to investigate.

As he was standing next to the door he could make out something that sounded like sobbing.

"What is wrong Yusaku?" He heard Yuri ask obviously being very concerned.

"I don't know." He heard the voice of Yusaku whisper quietly.

Yuya took a look inside and saw that Yusaku was sitting on the bed hugging his legs. Serena and Yuri were kneeling next to him on the ground and Serena had her hands on Yusaku's. Yuya didn't want to disturb them.

"It's just everyone is coming over and uncle Yuya and aunt Yuza have prepared so much." Yusaku said slowly.

This confused Yuya. Yusaku was usually a happy kid. Running all over the place and laughing. He would even get into trouble once or twice, from what he had heard.

"You are nervous, aren't you?" Serena asked him, understanding his trouble.

He looked at her before slowly nodding and looked down again.

"What if someone wants to duel me?" Yusaku asked, popping his head up a little.

"But you love playing Duel Monsters?" Yuri asked, confused.

Yusaku looked down again and hide his face behind his legs. Yuya didn't quite understand either. Yuri had told him that Yusaku had started to love the game and had even made a new friend to duel with already. Serena even told Yuzu that she was glad the two could share this together and that they now talked about deck building every day.

"But what if I am bad at it? It's different then when I play with you or with Ryoken. What if I lose in front of everyone?" Yusaku asked hastily.

That took Yuya off guard. He was shocked that the boy would think something like that.

Serena and Yuri also seemed surprised by the news. He and Serena quickly exchanged a look.

Yuri looked very confused clearly not really understanding the situation. Serena was also surprised, but she quickly caught herself and looked back at her son.

She took his hand again and waited until he looked at her.

"Duel Monsters isn't really about winning or losing you know?" she whispered to him sweetly.

"I-t it isn't?" he stammered, surprised and from the look on Yuri's face he was also going to asked that question too. She now had both his and Yuri's full attention.

"No matter if you win or lose in the end it is always about having fun and smiling." she told him with fondness in her eyes. "Your dad and I had a lot of duels in the past that weren't very fun and we had to get through them, but in the end when the situation was at its worst we got through it and we didn't forget our smile or how much fun dueling is when you do it with your friends like everyone here."

Yusaku listened to ever word carefully and was now thinking very hard, but Yuri seemed to be put utterly in a trance by them.

After making sure Yusaku was no longer sobbing she turned to Yuri.

"Isn't that right?" she asked him. She smiled at him and he snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her expressionlessly.

Then he slowly started to smile back at her.

"Yes…. We got through everything and in the end, we can still duel and smile." He answered confidently.

"So, it's not bad if I lose?" Yusaku asked carefully, looking at Yuri.

"No, it's not." Yuri answered quietly and Yuya thought he could see him wipe tears from his face.

"You know it's bad to eavesdrop on people's private conversations Yuya." Yuzu's voice called to Yuya from behind him.

She had just come out of the kitchen and was standing in the hall tapping her foot, looking angry.

He just went over and hugged her. He felt so very proud in that moment.

Yuya's mind came back to present day and he cursed himself for nothing in particular.

He knew things were bad for them. He had felt terrible seeing his friends go through something like this.

They had always tried to get through things on their own and he also knew that things needed time. They never refused help outright, but he got the feeling that they never really knew what to say or do.

One time he had tried to help. He cursed himself for being so stupid.

All his life he knew that dueling could help in the most desperate situations. Now he isn't so sure anymore. One day he tried to help with what he did best.

It ended horribly. He remembers manic screams and a flood of tears, then silence. He looked him in the eyes and saw nothing. They were completely emotionless. He just sat in the corner hugging his lags and shaking violently. It reminded him of the kids he saw in the heartland city war zone and he will never forget it in his life.

Later Yuri was furious. He only remembers Yuri screaming at him and he was sure Yuri was about to start punching him. He had seen him in total madness, trying to resurrect Zarc, but he had never seen him like this.

Yuya never talked much about it after that. He could sometimes strangely feel Yuri's anger. He always thought it was because they were one once. It was something that happened with the other Yu-boys sometimes. He had felt unending excitement when Yugo and Rin won the friendship cup and he felt the same pride Yuto had felt as he saw the heartland duel school fully reopen, but he had never felt it so intensely.

For the past years he had always thought that they somehow managed it. That he just never saw Yusaku because he was shy. He thought that there might be something wrong, but that overall things were improving.

Yuzu often talked to Serena and he knew she knew more from Serena, but he didn't want information that only Yuzu was entrusted with.

This morning this faint illusion was shattered completely.

They had received a distressed call from Serena. She told them that Yuri wasn't home and that if they should see him they should tell him to call her immediately. She was also heading to Den city for something important now. Yuzu seamed to understand and wished her good luck.

It took Yuya embarrassingly long to put it all together, it was almost at the beginning of the show today, but all the evidence from the past years finally added up.

Nothing was ok or getting better.

He heard the door open and without looking he knew it was Yuzu.

He prepared his fake smile and turned around.

"Hey Yuzu! I don't think you should go in the men's dressing room." He said cheerfully.

"Shut up." She declared, quickly dashing next to him. "I know what is wrong now."

Yuya tried to look confused, but he knew it was no use. He finally dropped his smile and let out a sigh.

She took a seat next to him and put her hand on his.

"This is something they need to work out themselves, you know?" she said slowly. "We need to help them and support them, but in the end, they will need to get together and talk it out. There is nothing more we can do, except be there for them."

Yuya didn't know what to say, but he listened to her carefully. He supposed it was true, but he felt helpless seeing his friends going through something like this.

"But did we help enough? They still haven't gotten better one bit?" he asked her desperately.

"I don't know, but I can feel that something will change. that now is the time were all three of them can change. You know the way we can sometimes feel the others feelings? I feel that in Serena." she explained to him in a soft and hopeful voice.

Yuya was, like so often amazed by her, she always seemed to know everything when it came to people. He could make their children laugh sure, but she always knew exactly when something was wrong with them and how to fix it.

He just dashed forward and enveloped her in a tight hug.

At the top of the tower of Hanoi

Playmaker just survived another devastating attack from Revolver. He was exhausted and his breathing was heavy. Meanwhile the AI on his duel disk was going crazy.

"The situation has gotten worse!" uttered the black ignis.

"Don't complain it's a miracle we're still standing" Playmaker told it. His mouth slowly turning into a smile.

"But at this rate we will lose." AI complaint now forming his hands into fists.

"You are right. We have to do something." He said and laughed quietly. Something faint told him it was a good idea to smile now.

"You're laughing?" the ai on his arm asked in confusion.

"There is nothing to do but laugh in this situation." Playmaker answered.

Dueling with a smile and not giving up, it felt familiar and save, like something that was shattered into a million pieces by a bolt of electricity in an empty white room.

It sounded like good advice and he could feel his fear and exhaustion stop for a moment.

"But that doesn't mean I've given up." He said defiantly and continued the duel.

Notes: thank you very much for reading. If you have any questions or criticism feel free to leave a review. I always want to improve (=

Stay frosty!