Chapter 6: The promise maker
It was clear to him what he needed to do.
He was standing over the opened box. He had arrayed all the content he had already taken out of it in a row on the floor.
The picture he was holding in his hands was like an ancient artifact, a mirror into the past. He held it carefully as if it could turn to dust any second.
Yusaku slowly examined everything about it. The bright colors and broad lines. The happy smiles on the people's faces. The little sun in the right-hand corner. He didn't really think, he just took it all in.
Yusaku felt like he knew this object, like it was all too familiar, but his mind was completely blank when he thought about what it was. This was something from his past, clearly. The past he had lost and couldn't regain.
He had sworn to destroy the knights of Hanoi because of what they did to him and because of what they were doing in LINK VRAINS, but he also always gave another reason, to regain the years he had lost.
The knights of Hanoi had been like a barrier between him and his past, like a wall he could not cross and now they are gone.
The familiarity he felt while carefully examining every aspect of the picture made him forget that he couldn't think clearly. Now he could go ahead and reclaim his past and everything would be fine again.
First: He needed to forget about the knights of Hanoi.
Second: He needed to reconnect with his past.
Third: He would go forward into a new future.
Yusaku had his plan laid out in front of him. He when over every step in his head.
He had already destroyed the knights of Hanoi, so step one was done. Now he needed to forget them and everything that happened. Like restarting a system to a state were it still functioned.
Step two would be straight forward, it would be like fixing a corrupted piece of data, the memories laid open to him now he simply needed to reinsert them into his mind and everything would be like it used to be.
The third step would then be ready for him and his new life would start.
Those were his three steps to get out of the situation. Three logical and computable steps he only needed to process.
Yusaku closed his eyes and tried to focus. There was no barrier between him and his past anymore. He tried to go back. He would restore everything back to a state where the system still worked.
He tried to let go of everything that haunted him and thought back to the memories buried deepest in his mind.
The first memories he thought of were his early fights against the Hanoi. The first few times Yusaku went into the network with Kusanagi as back up, giving Knight positions and other intelligence as he dashed form rooftop to rooftop.
But he needed to go further.
He remembers meeting Kusanagi for the first time. He pictured the time he had saved him from the knights of Hanoi and them discovering the secret of the Cyberse Deck together.
No, that was all still part of his fight against the Hanoi. There was something before that. There had to be.
Then he saw the memory of him holding his deck in a dark room after having just woken up from a terrible nightmare. He was still out of breath and shaking. Yusaku couldn't remember when this memory took place or even where he was during it. All he saw was the dark room, himself and the deck.
Come on. He needed to find out more if he wanted to reconnect with his past. He concentrated and tried to feel what he felt back then.
The memory became clearer to him. Everything around him was shaking and sweat was running down his body. He remembers the fear and confusion he had felt before swearing his revenge. He looked around the room. Where was he?
The feeling was intense, like there was something unknown coming towards him in that dark room. What was happening?
Yusaku had to open his eyes. He was breathing heavily. He whipped his hand over his face. He could feel it was slightly wet. He was sweating.
Yusaku tried to calm his breathing and looked at his hand. That was the first time he had noticed his hands shaking violently. He quickly grabbed it with his other hand.
Yusaku shook his head and tried to calm down. He needed to move on, this memory wasn't important anyway, it was still part of his fight and that fight was over now.
What happened before that day? Before his battles with the knights of Hanoi? He never really thought about it before, whenever he had time to think he thought about how he would destroy the knights of Hanoi or how he could improve his strategy or …
Nothing. Yusaku didn't really know.
He had a frown on his face, of course he had to focus on the Knights of Hanoi in the past, but now he needed to stop being distracted and get his past reconnected.
What was there before that nightmare in the dark room? He closed his eyes again.
A foggy memory came into his mind. He couldn't remember details, but there was a house and a garden behind it. Everything was decorated. There were balloons, garlands and a large banner.
And through it all he was running through a crowd of happy guests.
He looked up at them while running. They were all larger then him, big figures he could only remember the outlines of.
A smile formed on Yusaku's lips as he remembered feeling happy and everything being warm, it had been summer.
The world around him was a bluer because he was running so fast. The colors were bright and he could hear laughter and cheers around him.
Yusaku then remembered where he was running too. He was searching for someone. He didn't really know who, but he knew he wanted to tell them that he had just had a really fun duel.
He had lost, but he somehow didn't feel like that was a problem, because it was a blast for everyone. Who his opponent was was a mystery to Yusaku, but he would let it play out, because it made him all feel strangely content.
In the memory he laughed loudly. He was out of breath from all the running.
His search was still fruitless and he stopped and looked around. It also gave him a moment to catch his breath.
As he was looking behind him the warm colors and bright lights were turning dark. It scared him and he dropped his smile. He suddenly felt like he needed to find whoever he was trying to find fast.
He started to run again, the people he passed were now more like large white walls he had to run between. A maze that he needed to find his way out of.
After turning a corner, he finally spotted his target. Two violet silhouettes sitting at a table. He started to make a final sprint towards them.
When he got there he grabbed one of the silhouette's shoulders.
"YOU LOSE!", he heard a familiar voice call out and for a second the he saw the game over screen come up in front of his eyes.
Yusaku ripped open his eyes and prepared for the shape pain that would run through his body. He was ready to cried out in pain.
He felt his body violently shaking.
No, this wasn't real. He knew it. There was no real pain.
He tried to grabbed something nearby for support, but couldn't find anything, so he let himself slide onto the ground and sat himself up against the wall for supported, dropping the picture.
After a moment he was still breathing heavily. He once again held his hands in front of his eyes to see that they were shaking.
This was never supposed to happen again. He defeated the Hanoi that was all he needed to do, right? Reconnecting with his past should be the next thing he does; his future should come to him.
He covered his face with his hands and felt wetness as he touched it. Tears were streaming down his face.
No, this was all wrong, it shouldn't be like this.
There were no knights of Hanoi. There was no more lost incident.
His memories should be open to him.
Maybe his plan was wrong. Maybe his three steps were wrong. Maybe everything he did was for nothing.
The world was spinning around Yusaku, as he couldn't stop shaking and crying.
There must be three steps that can get him out of this. There had to be.
But he could not go back there, to that place with the white walls. He couldn't. Never again. Maybe his past could never be reconnected.
Think of three things.
What if there was nothing to regain for him?
Three things.
Maybe every memory he had from before and every piece of his past was so corrupted by the incident that he could not go back.
Three things.
In that moment Yusaku formulated a new plan, but it did not come in three steps.
He would not go back. His past was over, all of it, the lost incident, the Hanoi and everything before that. He would never go back and he would let his new future come to him.
Yusaku didn't know how long he sat on the floor that night. He lost all sense of time as he sat there and told himself over and over again that his past was over. That all that happened before didn't matter anymore.
At some point he fell asleep.
The rays of the early morning sun were creeping softly into Yusaku's apartment. He could feel their warmth on his skin as he was waking up from the night of dreamless sleep.
His back was hurting from sleeping on the floor and as he opened his eyes. He was disorientated by the sun light for a moment.
He took a look around realizing that he was on the floor.
His room was as it always was. The large empty space filled with only his bed, his desk with the computer, the staircase leading to the door and the flowers on the windowsill. The only thing that was off was the open box and a few pieces of its content laid out on the floor.
Yusaku's mind was empty for the first few moments. All the things from yesterday were still there, but he could not really grasp them.
He simply asked himself what he was going to do now. Not about the situation from yesterday, but about his morning.
The resolution rang in his head. He would move on and forget about everything, this was a new life now.
He slowly lifted himself of the floor and started to think.
What did he need to do now?
It was a school day so there were three clear things he needed to do.
Would he still do that? No that was Ryoken's advice. He needed to let go of everything if he would ever be free of the pain.
"Master as I see you are already awake. I wish you a good morning.", the robotic voice of Roboppy greeted him. "By my calculations you have plenty of time to complete your morning routine before leaving for school. Let me know if I can assist in any way."
It took Yusaku out his thoughts. The robot was right, he still needed to get ready, just not with his three steps.
He tried to think hard about what to do, but came up empty.
His mind was completely blank on what to do. It was like trying to grab something in a pitch-black room. He just couldn't concentrate properly.
He started to wander aimlessly around the apartment and after a moment instinctively entered the bathroom.
There was something he needed to do here, right?
Yes, brush his teeth. He went over to the sink and got out his toothbrush.
While cleaning his teeth he looked at himself in the mirror. Something about his face put him off. Was there something else he needed to do here before leaving?
He finished brushing his teeth and looked around the room, but he saw nothing else to do. His eyes once again turned to his reflection in the mirror. Without thinking he touched his cheeks with one of his hands. Something about it wasn't right.
Yusaku couldn't tell what it was even after staring for a moment longer. He took a deep breath and left the room.
Now he stood in the spacious main room again and didn't know what else to do.
Then another thing popped into his mind. He needed to get dressed in his school uniform. He went to his closet to look for it, but he couldn't find it there.
He looked all over the room, but there was nothing.
Yusaku started to feel himself getting nervous. He was looking around frantically now to find it. He looked under his bed, in the bathroom and in the kitchen.
When he still couldn't find anything, he felt a weird feeling in his stomach like he was going to throw up and as he looked down he saw his hands shaking.
"Master, analyses of your behavior have led me to conclude that you are looking for something. May I help you find it?", Roboppy asked in it's squeaky voice.
The robot was looking up at him innocently. Yusaku looked at it for a moment unsure what to say.
"Yes, where is my school uniform?" Yusaku finally asked.
"Master I believe you are wearing your school uniform right now.", the Robot replied happily.
Yusaku gave the robot a confused look. He processed what it said slowly and then looked down at his clothes.
It was true. He had never changed out of his school uniform the day before.
He stood in the large room without moving or thinking. He could only feel that his hands were shaking and that the strange feeling was climbing up from his stomach.
Right, he needed to do something. Was there anything else he needed to do?
Yusaku couldn't concentrate. He couldn't find the answer in his head and the feeling wasn't stopping. It was rising up in his chest now and his mind was completely empty while trying to find out what to do.
He decided that he needed to go. He grabbed his back and rushed out the door.
Yusaku was holding his stomach as it rumbled. The computer science class had just started a few minutes ago and the teacher was talking in front of the board, but Yusaku wasn't listening.
His stomach now told him what he couldn't think of this morning to save his life. He had forgotten any kind of breakfast.
He tried to drag his focus away from the pain in his stomach. He looked at the board and tried to make out what the teacher was talking about.
The diagrams and writings on the board were familiar to him. It was a simple problem he had even encountered once or twice while hacking with Kusanagi. He could solve it easily.
He went over the writing on the board again. To solve this problem all he needed to do was… He simply had to…
Yusaku had not idea. The diagrams on the board didn't make sense to him anymore and every time he went through what the system would do he just lost the trail at some point.
There were three easy steps…No he can't solve it that way.
The feeling was once again pounding in his chest and he was sure that if he would look down his hands would be shaking.
Yusaku grabbed the desk in front of him and started to slowly breath in and out.
Maybe this was a different problem he hadn't seen yet or his lack of breakfast was getting to his mind.
Either way he simply needed a different distraction.
For the rest of the class Yusaku stared into the air and tried to think of nothing. He barely registered when the bell proclaimed the end of the lesson.
Most students were already gone by the time he started to leave.
Outside he struggled to think of what class he had next.
"Good morning Fujiki Yusaku.", a light greeted said to him.
Yusaku turned around and saw Zaizen Aoi smile at him. In the last two weeks she seemed much more joyful then before her own battle with the Hanoi and she sometimes tried talking to Yusaku now.
"Your hair is different. Are you trying something new?" she asked him, looking at his hair and hiding a bit of laughter.
Yusaku gave her a look of confusion and reached up to feel his hair. It really was different and he suddenly knew why. He had completely forgotten to do any kind of other preparations in the bathroom other then brushing his teeth. His hair was a mess.
Aoi was still standing in front of him with a questioning look, so he gave her an uncertain nod to hopefully get out of the interaction quickly.
"It looks… well… interesting." She said, taking her eyes of his hair.
"Anyway, are you coming to dueling club after school?", she asked him, quickly changing the subject. Yusaku stood there and said nothing for an awarded moment. Duel club was only ever a means to an end, but that wasn't what was bothering him.
"No, I'm not going anymore." he answered, emotionlessly.
It was clear that Aoi was going to say something else, but Yusaku used the crowd flowing through the hallway to make a swift exit. He didn't feel like there was much to gain from this conversation.
The rest of the school day was more or less normal. He had his classes and didn't really pay attention in any of them.
During his last class, he began to think about the interaction with Aoi he had almost forgotten by this point.
She seemed different now. Yusaku usually didn't notice anything like this and he still couldn't really put his finger on what exactly was going on, but there was something. She seemed happier in some way.
She was another person who was doing a lot better after what happened. Sure, she couldn't really compare to his situation, but Jin was also doing a lot better.
Why was he doing so much worse then all of them?
No, he should stop thinking like this, he wasn't doing worse. He was getting better. He had his plan in place. It would be hard, but to achieve anything he needs to just stop thinking about it.
After school Yusaku made his way to Kusanagi's Hot dog truck, like he always did. On his way the thought that bothered him before entered his head.
Aoi had asked him if he wanted to go to duel club which he declined, but that raised another question.
Was he ever going to duel again?
He let the question ring in his head. Dueling was always the way he battled the Hanoi, but he also felt a connection to it from before that.
He knew about its philosophy and what it meant to be a true duelist. It was something he had in his soul and Yusaku felt like someone must have taught him about it in the past.
If he would try to think about it, he could maybe find out who. Something felt right about that, but he couldn't. He wouldn't let what happened yesterday happen again.
He would let go of dueling just like everything else, even if it left a strange feeling in his stomach.
He almost didn't notice that he had reached the hot dog truck, because he was lost in his thoughts.
The truck was standing on the central square of den city as always. Before Yusaku entered the truck to dress in his work cloth, he noticed a large screen overlooking the square that was currently displaying an image of Go, Blue Angel and his own alter ego Playmaker.
The text underneath proclaimed: "More action in the New LINK VRAINS coming soon!"
No, he would not return. Never. Yusaku thought resolutely.
Kusanagi was just returning from talking to a customer, as Yusaku was getting ready.
"Good afternoon Yusaku." Kusanagi greeted him softly.", How was school?"
"It was fine, Kusanagi-san" Yusaku answered quickly, avoiding eye contact. If Kusanagi would look too closely he could see right through him and Yusaku didn't want him to worry unnecessarily.
Yusaku doubted he was very successful because Kusanagi just stood there for a moment and looked at him.
Yusaku didn't know how to resolve the situation so he moved towards the grill and started cooking.
"If anything is wrong you can talk to me, ok?", Kusanagi finally said, breaking the silence.
Yusaku just nodded and continued to cook uncomfortably while Kusanagi lingered for another moment.
Then Yusaku heard Kusanagi slowly getting out of the truck and heading outside.
After struggling to turn around all the hotdogs on the grill, Yusaku was never a born cook, he saw Kusanagi walking in front of the truck and going towards one of the customers. He would usually try to do small talk with every one who visited the truck.
"It's good for business and besides it is more fun that way." Kusanagi would usually say with a smile.
Yusaku didn't get it, but most customers seemed to like Kusanagi and he knew everyone of them by heart.
Having just finished another time of turning the hotdogs, he let his eyes wander around the square. Usually he never paid much attention to who was visiting the Café Nagi, but he didn't want to give himself to wandering thoughts again.
It was pretty quiet for the most part, there was only the woman Kusanagi was talking to in front of the truck. This was one of the hours that was usually the least busy and the square didn't receive any unexpected crowds anymore now that LINK VRAINS was down.
The large screen was still advertising the newest features of LINK VRAINS, not that Yusaku would have cared even if he was still Playmaker, but he still avoided looking at it.
Other than that, there wasn't much to see. Yusaku briefly looked at the red horizon that would soon see a sundown. He had never really paid attention to it before. He couldn't tell why but he found it somewhat relaxing looking at it.
He heard a hissing sound from the grill and quickly moved to turn the hot dogs once more.
After he was done he noticed that Kusanagi was still talking to the woman. He was telling her something with great enthusiasm.
Yusaku's eyes continued to wander from Kusanagi to the woman.
She was listening to Kusanagi carefully. She wore a red jacket and her hair was indigo tied into a ponytail.
The setting sunlight was reflecting of a silver bracelet on her hand and Yusaku could just make out her green eyes.
There was the sound of steel hitting the ground. Yusaku had dropped the hot dog tong he was holding.
It was like in one of the memories he had yesterday, it seemed so familiar. He knew that hair, that bracelet and those eyes.
He started to blink quickly. He stood behind the grill frozen in place.
It was like the world was spinning around him. He felt that now very much familiar feeling rising in his stomach, that feeling of dread he had felt all day.
His heavy breathing and shaking hands also felt familiar by now.
He needed to do something. One part of him told him to go outside towards the woman, there was something familiar about her, something warm despite everything else he felt.
No, he couldn't. It would be the same thing that happened yesterday and he wanted to never feel that again.
Fear. He felt utter fear. He should go, run away, if he waited any longer he would see that game over screen and that voice would ring in his ears again.
Yusaku started slowly. He got out of the work apron and opened the door of the truck with his shaking hands. He slowly walked away from the truck in the opposite direction of where Kusanagi was standing.
His slow steps turned into a walk and then into a run. He needed to be fast. He felt the world turn darker around him just like yesterday. If he wouldn't run faster it would all happen again.
He didn't know for how long he ran, but as he stopped he was completely exhausted. His breathing was heavy and he was bend over with his hands on his knees.
The only thing he felt was fear.
The night was a blur for Yusaku. His feet were carrying him without him knowing where they were going. He didn't want to go home and be forced to think again, so he wandered the streets of Den city for what felt like a long time.
He had a mental map of the city: the docks, the three bridges and city center. All laid out in his head. That's how he was able to solve the riddle for the Cyberse deck.
But despite that and living and going to school there he knew very little else about it. Any other details were a mystery to him.
He felt nothing when thinking about the city or it's people.
So as his feet were carrying him around the city and he tried to avoided thinking at all cost, he took it all in for probably the first time.
The night in Den city or at least in the part where he was wandering, felt hardly like a night at all. There were neon lights shining from every building. Large screens that displaced all kinds of advertisement from duel monsters to ice cream.
There was noise everywhere the sound of automated cars driving the highway, the voices coming from the stores and the advertisement blasting the messages through the streets.
All of it overwhelmed Yusaku he felt like he could barely see through the neo light and the noise was disorienting him.
"Now say it with us! The fun is only getting started!" he heard two voices coming from one of the large screens proclaim.
It was one noise out of thousands, but he was somehow drawn to it.
On the left side of the screen was a woman with pink hair, a blue and white shirt and pink skirt. Around one of her arms was a silver bracelet.
On the right side of the screen, Yusaku could see a man with spiky red and green hair and a set of goggles on his head. He was wearing a red shirt and green pants. A pendulum was swinging from his neck.
The background was covered with golden music notes and duel monster cards and on the bottom, it said: "You Show Duel School! Coming to Den city soon!"
The image made Yusaku feel that same feeling of dread rising in his stomach. He wanted to start running again to get away, but something different happened.
It felt like his mind was no longer just in his body. He felt every piece of technology around him. How every message was dashing in the air. How the data was running into the screen, laptops and even some of the lights around him.
He felt were it all came from, through the wireless connection in the air or through cables in the ground. He felt what it was doing, what it was turning on and off, what messages were sent and all the backup saves being made.
It was all too much for him, like a million of thoughts running through his head all at once.
He could feel the systems when he worked with them sometimes. If he concentrated he could see the signals making up the LINK VRAINS network flying over Den city as green beams at night. He believed AI once called it "link sense", but it had never been this extreme.
Yusaku could only vaguely tell what he was doing. At first, he tried to run away, but it wouldn't stop.
He could feel himself sitting on the ground closing his eyes and ears to try to shut everything out, but he couldn't. The noises wouldn't stop.
At some point he started to run again.
When he regained control of his thoughts, he was completely lost. It felt like a long time had passed.
He slowly looked around to try to find out were he was.
The first thing he saw were the shimmering light blue lights coming from the wide dark blue ocean. The moon was shining just above the water adding to the lights. At first, he thought that it was another vision, but it was real and Yusaku was slowly realizing where he was.
Another look around revealed that he was sitting on a bench near the railing. If he would look to the side he could see the now vacant house of his rival.
Yusaku wonder why he had run here to "Stardust road".
It was not a place that Yusaku had ever visited after what happened, but sitting there completely exhausted he could see why Kusanagi thought it was beautiful.
He could forget everything that happened the last few days for a few moments while sitting there and looking at the sea of blue shimmers and far away stars.
His final battle with Revolver came to his mind. At first, he wanted to fight it because of his new rules, but he was too exhausted and the blue light set him at ease.
Somehow Yusaku didn't think about all the fighting that had happened. He thought about what he said to Revolver.
"You couldn't just stand by, so you crossed the abyss. You're able to save me and I'm able to save you." Yusaku muttered out loud, the words feeling as if he had spoken to Revolver only moments ago.
A promise between two who's pasts were ripped apart and who were now in limbo. Something absolute in meaning and resolve.
He sighs. How was he supposed to find a new path for both of them, if he can't even see his own?
Yusaku knew in that moment that to keep the promise he would need to face what ever he couldn't remember, what ever the abyss was still obscuring from his vision.
The thought scared him. He had never been afraid of going after the knights of Hanoi or hacking into SOL technology. Even when his life pointes were at the lowest point he never thought about fear just about how to continue, but in that moment, he was terrified.
His hands were shaking again. He tried to move from the bench, but couldn't. He closed his eyes. How could he ever overcome this fear?
The quietness of the night gave way for his mind to wander.
Yusaku had just awoken from a nightmare with a tiny scream. He never had one before so he was very scared.
Uncle Yugo had told them all a scary story today. Yusaku had acted strong, making jokes about the story afterwards.
But what if the three gods of Egypt really were out at night to hunt souls to fuel their eternal lust for power?
The only way to be save was to hide underneath his blanket and protect himself with his flashlight against the darkness of his room. Even then there still was a chance that they would still try to snatch him so he would be extra careful and skip sleep tonight.
After a few moments of sitting in his protective fortress he heard voices from outside. They were quiet, so against all caution he opened a slit under the blanket.
"You go in. You can do this, I know." A female voice said.
"Of course, I could … it's just … I think it's your turn." A male voice protested, trying to hide a bit of nervousness.
"Are you scared or something?" the female voice replied, mocking him a bit.
There was a small pause.
"Hey." The female voice started again, now calmly and quietly. "You are going to do great. I know it. just remember what we talked about. If you think about what you feel for him nothing will go wrong."
There was another pause.
"Ok... If you insist." The male voice said, trying to sound casual.
The next thing Yusaku heard was the door being opened. He quickly turned off the flashlight and laid down in his bed.
He heard a few steps coming closer to the bed. The small bedside light was turned on and he could feel someone sitting down on the bed next to him.
His eyes needed a moment to get used to the light, but he could make out the purple hair and outfit.
"Everything ok there?" his father asked him, carefully.
Yusaku saw him clearly now and tried to avoid his worried purple eyes.
"Yes …ahh … everything is just fine with me." He answered, nervously rubbing his neck and giving a fake smile.
His father looked at him for a moment and Yusaku did his best to look normal.
"We just heard a noise and thought something happened." His father said, slowly.
"Yes, that was just…ahh…nothing really. Everything good with me." Yusaku stuttered weakly, rubbing his neck.
His father gave him an understanding look.
"You had a nightmare, didn't you?" his father questioned, slowly. He put his hand on Yusaku's shoulder a bit too carefully and gave him his best reassuring look.
"Yes … no … I mean… it was stupid. I should just get over it" Yusaku muttered.
There was a moment of silence between them and Yusaku felt awkward for having admitted his stupid nightmare.
"I have nightmares too, you know"." His father said looking off into the distance. "So, I think I can understand."
Yusaku was stunned for a second. That wasn't possible. Father always seemed so resolute, untouchable even. Somebody like him would never even think about fear.
"That can't be true." Yusaku said in disbelieve.
"Yusaku." He said softly and turned to him. He seemed to think very hard about what he was going to say next, "Everybody is afraid sometimes, uncle Yuto, aunt Rin, your mother and even me."
He gave Yusaku a moment to think about that. Uncle Yuto was always so calm and aunt Rin could even scare uncle Yugo when he did something forbidden.
"Really?" he muttered, quietly.
His father answered his question with a firm nod.
"We are all afraid sometimes and that's not a problem. Only if you let the fear consume you does it become one. You need to face what you fear and learn to overcome it. So that you can live without them." He continued.
"So, you can beat your fears and the just not have them anymore?" Yusaku asked, excitedly.
His father had to smiled a bit at his excitement.
"It's not that simple. One fear can be overcome, but you see fear is something that can happen to your whole life and you need to face it every time to be happy. Everybody needs to do that." He explained, further.
Yusaku thought about that for a moment. He needed to have fears his whole life, beating one only to have the next!
Yusaku gave him a distressed look and his father seemed to notice because he seemed to panic a bit.
"But I don't want to live my whole life having to fight fear. I can't even fight it now." He said, distressed.
His father tried to hide the panic in his face and thought hard about what he was going to say.
"Yusaku, some fears you can never beat fully, but you need to learn to overcome them and move on despite being afraid, if you do that, then fighting fear is not something you will need to do every day. There will just always be times when you will have to and the trick is that you use the help and support of others around you to get through it. You will see, if you have help it will be easier." He finally advised.
Yusaku was in deep thought about what his father had said to him. So, it wasn't really his whole life. He just needed to be ready. That didn't sound too bad.
"Why don't we try the using the support of others thing right now? What was your nightmare about?" his father asked him, while giving him a pad on the back.
Yusaku looked at him and he gave him a reassuring look.
"Well… today uncle Yugo told us about the three Egyptian gods who steal people's souls." Yusaku explained, feeling childish for saying it.
Yusaku saw a flash of anger on his father's face at the mention of uncle Yugo, but he seemed to decide to settle that later. He gave Yusaku a warm smile and put his hands around his shoulders.
"That is just a story your uncle made up and even if that was true, you have the world's best and second-best duelist right in the next room." He tried to say it with a smile and enthusiasm.
Yusaku laugh together with his father. He was starting to feel better now and a lot safer. His parents really could beat everybody.
After enjoying a moment between the two of them, Yusaku's father wished him a good night and started to leave the room.
Yusaku's eyes were already half closed as he thought of another question.
"Father, what are you afraid of?" he innocently asked with a sleepy voice.
Yusaku thought he saw has father's hand quickly move to his deck box on his belt. He seemed to be taken aback by the question and he took a long moment to compose himself and think of an answer.
"Just the big Level-eater bugs that always eat the plants in our garden, but your mother is really good at keeping them away. Now good night." He answered, cheerfully.
He turned off the light. Yusaku smiled and wished him a good night too.
Then Yusaku could hear the sound of the door closing.
He now felt very content and save in his bed. He also felt very sleepy and he started to drift off to sleep.
Half asleep he thought he heard the same voices from before talking.
"You did it! I'm so proud of you!" the female voice cried, quietly and sounding a bit teary. Then Yusaku heard the sound of what he thought was a kiss.
"Of course, I did. Nothing easier than that." He heard the male voice say, it sounded confident, but had a hint of relief that it could not hide.
Soon Yusaku fell asleep.
Yusaku opened his eyes again. The blue light was still shining into the quite night.
During the memory he was afraid that the pain would return, but the fear soon past and was replaced by a warm feeling.
He didn't know how to understand what he just remembered. What had actually happened during the memory was foggy to him, he had seen it all, but comprehending it was another thing.
It felt more like a series of emotions. Firstly, the fear like the one he had felt all day, then secondly warmth all-around him and the feeling of being save and thirdly him sitting on the beach looking at the blue lights feeling a lot better than before.
His hands had settled again and he could breathe freely. A new Strength was flowing through his body. He didn't fully know why it happened, but He could beat the fear with that strength the memory gave him, even if he didn't fully understand.
First: He would use it to get up from the bench and go home.
Second: He would get through his day tomorrow and apologize to Kusanagi.
Third: He would stop running away, start changing the future to something better and keep his promise.
A bit of Fear was still there, but that evening he managed to get of the beach and he got back into his apartment.
Despite how much his world had shaken yesterday, the beginning of the next day had been strangely normal for Yusaku. There was no great incident or sudden flash memory. He went through his morning slower than usual. He listed the things he needed to do in groups of three carefully and did them slowly.
There was no fear, only a bit of uncertainty in the back of his mind, but he somehow thought he would be fine, he would only need to take this one step at a time.
School was also normal, not at all different from how the rest of all the long days he had spend at Den city high school had been, but today his mind was free to think about it for the first time.
Were the computer science classes exiting? Was this something he wanted to do for his whole life?
He was certainly good at it. The problem he had struggled with yesterday had been no problem on the test and he had scored another perfect score today.
Yusaku couldn't really say if he was enjoying it, but he could also not say the he disliked it.
Yesterday it became clear that his past was open to him and that he needed to claim it, but on that early school morning with the sun slowly rising he realized that the same was true for his future too.
Zaizen Akira had said to him that he should have a normal life and that he should be able to excitedly talk to his friends about the future. Could he actually do that now?
He tried to picture it. It didn't feel wrong.
"One day… One day we will. You will see…" Yusaku muttered under his breath without even realizing. It was filled with hope and determination even if the person it was for was probably hundreds of miles over the ocean.
For now, he would need to do small steps like his plan said. Starting with finishing his school day and apologizing to Kusanagi. It felt like it would all work out if he did it in small steps.
"Good morning Fujiki Yusaku." just like yesterday the soft voice of Zaizen Aoi took him by surprise. "Your hair is back to normal."
She looked at it for a moment. He didn't really know what to say so he gave her a nod.
"Anyway, I was thinking … maybe … you could rethink quitting the dueling club." Aoi asked him, slowly.
Yusaku was confused by the question at first, but then he remembered the conversation they had yesterday.
"It's just… you're actually a pretty good duelist and I think it could be fun." She said, her hands gesturing to support her argument, "I know it's probably hard with your part-time job and all, but maybe you could make time. I know Shima Naoki is always really annoying, but if you beat him once or twice I'm sure he will quit being so…"
"I will do it." Yusaku muttered. Aoi almost didn't notice his response and gave him a surprised look.
"I will be at the meeting later. See you then" Yusaku told her and started to move away.
Aoi was going to say something, but stopped herself and just smiled.
"See you later." She called after him, cheerfully.
Yusaku was almost at the hot dog truck now.
The duel club had been fine. They mostly learned strategies he, and he was certain Aoi too, already knew. Still he couldn't say he was bored or annoyed, even Shima's loud mouthed comment about how he knew all the strategies already only bothered him a little bit.
Another student had asked him if he could help him with his deck and Yusaku did his best to help him even if he felt a little uncomfortable.
At the end of the class Aoi and he had a duel. It was close, even if both of them weren't using their real decks. In the end they didn't have enough time left to finish it, but they agreed to do another one tomorrow.
He wasn't sure why he agreed to join the club again, but it felt like another small step he could do, something normal he could do even if he wasn't fully comfortable.
The hot dog truck was close now and Yusaku decided to head to the front to apologize to Kusanagi immediately.
He saw him behind the counter cooking the hot dogs. As Yusaku came closer Kusanagi noticed him. At first, he looked worried as he saw Yusaku, but he quickly tried changed his expression to a comforting smile.
Yusaku was just about to open his mouth and start his apology when he saw the same indigo haired woman sitting in a chair in front of the truck as yesterday. She was observing the large screen overlooking the square carefully with her back turned to him.
Yusaku turned towards her and froze completely.
"There you are. Where were you yesterday? I was worried." He heard Kusanagi say behind him.
Yusaku had almost forgotten what happened yesterday, but it came back to him now. His first instinct was to run away.
No. He would stop running, he had made a promise and he will do everything to keep it. He would move forward.
Three steps between him and her. Three steps he needs to take to his past. Only Three steps to the future.
First: to keep his promise to the person who saved him, who he would save.
He took his first step.
"Is everything ok?" Kusanagi asked, sounding worried. Yusaku barely noticed. He would still apologize later. Kusanagi would understand.
Second: to find out the truth about the past and learn to live with it.
He took a second step.
"You have … You have been acting strangely these last few days. I know things can't be easy for you. We should talk inside the truck." Kusanagi said in a caring voice.
He was close now and his hands were shaking, but it wouldn't stop him.
Third: because the future doesn't change. You change the future.
He took his third and final step towards her.
And then she turned around.