Daryl could feel the cold water running over his body, making his limbs go numb a little bit. Even if they had warm water at the Kingdom, he preferred the cold water. He preferred not to be in a bathroom at all, but he made an exception this time.
Bathrooms always freaked him out. He was able to forget a lot of his past as an abused child, but one incident always stayed in his head and he didn't know why. Whenever he was standing in a bathroom with it's cold tiles, sinks and bathtubs, he almost always got that flashback, when he was running from his drunk father and his father caught him in their bathroom. How he smashed Daryl's head hard against the sink, so hard that the pain was unbearable and everything turned black for a moment. Then Daryl was on his knees, feeling the cold floor below him, while his father was holding his head into a tube with dirty water. The water was warm and had an awful taste. Daryl was getting more and more of it into his mouth, while he tried to breathe and free himself. He remembered how he could hear his father cursing and mocking him from far away, how he could feel his lungs slowly filling with water. He couldn't breathe and this terrible water just kept on coming into his mouth. He remembered the pain in his chest and that quiet moment that came, when suddenly everything stopped and he was feeling like he was drifting away. But then he was pulled out of the water and life got him back. He was coughing water, almost vomiting because its bad taste still lingered on in his mouth. He was breathing in heavily, even if he felt a stinging pain in his chest with every breath he took. The worst part of that all was, that his brain would never let him forget this, this moment when he was so close to death. No matter how many moments came, where he was close to death as well, this moment always stayed with him, a vivid picture in his mind. Yes, cold water was a little bit better at least. And he liked the numb feeling of his body, he wanted to feel numb on the inside too. After seeing the pikes, he just didn't want to feel anything. The thoughts overflowed his mind. His group killed the Whisperers and this could have bad consequences, even if they took their bodies with them and buried them in the woods, carefully covering their tracks. What if this wasn't enough? And the pictures of the heads also didn't get out of his mind. It was too much, so much, that his mind finally became numb. It always happened after he experienced something bad. His mind just withdrew and it felt like he was underwater again and everything surrounding him was a blurry picture behind a curtain. Thoughts, feelings, everything was pushed far away. He was glad when it happened, feeling at peace, but he knew he had to focus again. It wasn't over.

The water washed down all the blood and the dirt from his body, but it couldn't wash away the pain. It was still there, lying there sleeping, waiting for its chance to rise again.

And the chance came soon enough. When all the dirt disappeared, he took a towel and brushed the water away quickly, but as soon as he had his pants on, Connie appeared in the doorway. And then they were there again, all emotions came closing on him like a wave, devouring him.

Pain because of the loss, compassion when he saw Connie's look on her face, that he knew quite well. He looked probably the same when he lost Rick. And then even a little bit of shame since it was the first time, she saw him naked from the waist up.

Connie showed him the medical kit she brought to patch him up and he nodded. They sat at the edge of the bath tube, while she was treating the wound on his chest. He watched her closely. He knew she noticed the cigarette burn marks all over his chest, another 'gift' from his 'loving' father. He saw her frowning as she touched them slightly, but she didn't look in his eyes and he was glad, she didn't. When she was finished he hastened to put his shirt on, but she must have noticed there was something on his back. She put her hand on his shoulder and let the unbuttoned shirt slide off. He could see from the corner of his eye that she was shocked. Then she ran a finger over a scar and then looked at him, but he didn't want to look her in the eyes.

"Oh that," he murmured.

She slowly took his chin in her hand and turned his head softly to face her.

The expression in her eyes said: "What happened?"

Daryl lowered his eyes again. He was ashamed. The scars on his back were one reason why he was ashamed to be close to women. He was afraid they would ask too many questions. And probably would find them disgusting. What if she did? But she came closer with her head, trying to make eye contact with him again.

"It's a long story," Daryl finally said and sighed. "I'll tell you another time 'bout that, okay?"

She nodded. She tried to smile. Oh how much he missed her smile, how much he missed her positive nature and that hope in her eyes. Everything went to shit before they even finished their first date. He should have known it. In this world everything went to shit sooner or later.

Connie softly petted his cheek, then her forehead touched his and they sat there like that for a couple of minutes.

"I'm so sorry," Daryl said and his voice was breaking.

Connie nodded, he knew she was sorry for him too, since he also lost some friends. They were still looking each other deep in the eyes and then she kissed him softly on his lips. It was a different kiss to the once they had before. This one lasted much longer and their tongues were touching slightly, carefully exploring each other. Daryl felt how the blood was pulsating in his veins and his heart started to beat faster and faster. Their kiss went on and on, becoming more passionate. The world around him disappeared again. But this time it wasn't because he felt numb. He felt alive and he wanted to feel like that forever, he wanted to feel her. Her lips left his mouth and moved on to his neck, continuing to kiss him there softly. His head began to spin. Then she stopped and they shared a look, drowning in each others eyes. She started to taking off her shirt and that was when Daryl knew he wasn't able to hold back much longer. There was no going back. He needed her, needed her body close to him. They started kissing again and he moaned when her soft lips touched his neck again. He didn't even realize how they suddenly were on the floor. She was undressing him and he was undressing her, all of the sudden nothing could happen fast enough. And then he could feel her hot body over him and the cold floor beneath him. Their bodies united and the sensation of being in her almost made him go crazy. Thoughts were racing in his head. Thoughts about how she was healing his trauma, making him feel alive in a room where he almost died once, thoughts about what if anyone was able to hear him, since he couldn't suppress his moans, Thoughts about how beautiful she was, when he saw her above him with her eyes closed. She was enjoying it. She was enjoying him with an expression of pleasure on her face. And for the first time in his life he really enjoyed being with a woman without being drunk, without being ashamed. He loved Connie and she loved him. For the first time in his life this felt right. And he wished he could make it last forever or at least a little bit longer, but he couldn't, it felt too good, it was too much. No matter how much he tried to hold back, a wave of sensation overcame him, shook him to the bones and made him feel more alive than ever.

They were holding each other afterwards and still enjoyed to be close to each other. Then Connie told him I love you in sign language and even if she never taught him this sign, he instantly knew what she meant, so he answered: "I love you too."