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"Tarrant!"
Alice woke up as suddenly as she had fallen asleep. The scent of paper and ink filled her nostrils. Her head rested against the desk. Documents and letters were scattered all over the surface, rustling against the contact of her hair.
She had a quill in hand. The feather was black.
She straightened against the chair and rubbed her eyes with her knuckles.
The light piercing through the window told her it was late in the afternoon. Her mother's grandfather clock informed that she had been sleeping for two hours, but Alice didn't trust it to give her the right time.
It had belonged to her family since she could remember.
Her mother took it with them in every travel they made. Perhaps she thought of selling it to some foreign merchant, or a clockmaker interested in an useless clock to dismantle and find some use for the separate pieces.
It was a wonderful machine, but a problematic one as well; sometimes its hands pointed at tea time when it was really time for breakfast, its pendulum swung without a rhythm, and it ticked and stroke erratically, as if it followed its own will rather than the mechanism of its cogs.
Its chaotic design had never bothered Alice, but now it'd had a bad timing.
It had woken her up from her dream, one much muchier than the others.
If she went back to sleep at once, would she return to the same dream again?
She wondered.
"Alice?" Someone knocked at the door. It was her mother.
Alice steeled herself and put her pursuit of dreams to a halt. She still had problems of her own, and had to find a way to solve them.
It was her responsibility as captain of her crew and as a member of her family.
She opened the door of her room and let Helen in. Her mother had rings under her eyes, and a nerve on her jaw pulsated like a heart. Her hair had rebellious white threads escaping from the otherwise perfect ponytail.
She was dressed as elegantly as usual.
"More correspondence." Helen said dryly. In her hand she was holding a pack of letters from countries of the West and the East.
She stopped at the sight of the disorganized desk where her daughter had been working.
And sleeping.
Helen looked at Alice, more tired than angry.
Alice shrugged, and felt no pride in having lost herself in the palace of dreams. At the same time, she felt no shame.
She had spent most of the night awake, talking to Margaret and listening to her stories of her ill-fated travels.
She'd had returned early from her missionary activities in Africa after receiving a letter from her husband Lowell, informing her of their already official divorce.
When she arrived to London, Margaret found that her husband wasn't joking around, and there was a new Lady Manchester by his side. To add to her misery, she also found her family's home in the Ascot's claws, while her remaining relatives were sailing to distant lands.
Her whole world had turned topsy-turvy from one moment to another. Alice was surprised Margaret had found her way to China after all the turmoil, and she was even more amazed she had managed to find her and their mother.
Margaret was more resourceful than she thought.
"How is my sister?" asked Alice, trying to organize some of the mess on the desk. She spilled a small ink jar over the letter of an associate merchant in Hong Kong. It was filled with questions and demands of an explanation about her little episode in the Asylum.
"She needs to rest." Helen took her handkerchief and helped Alice clean the ink. "These are bad times for her, but she'll recover. She is mine and Charles's daughter, after all."
"If I had known she would come back to London so soon …"
"We had no way of knowing." Helen had the desk ordered before Alice could notice. She had always been good in doing things fast and efficiently, with such low effort that she made everything look easy. "Just as she couldn't have guessed Lowell would decide to find comfort in other woman's arms while she was away. Bastard!"
In any other situations, Alice would have laughed.
It was seldom that her mother cursed in a blunt way. She much preferred concealed quips or subtle accusations.
But Margaret's situation was anything but laughable.
Alice swallowed.
If she had told her sister of Lowell's true nature when she'd had the chance, would she still be in that situation?
'I have no way to know', she concluded, though it did little to silence the guilty voice whispering in her mind.
"But she is here now." Her mother said. "We are together, that's what matters."
Alice knew her mother's words were also directed at her. Ever since she had told her all about the Ambassador decision that morning, Helen had showed a nonchalant attitude towards her daughter.
Not angry, just silent, too silent.
To make things worse, letters from angered associates had showered upon Alice without mercy from the moment the sun rose. Not all were as trenchant as the Ambassador, but neither were they as kind and forgiving to give Alice a moment of peace from her worries.
Her left index and thumb were calloused and covered with ink after hours of holding the quill , signing letter after letter without a rest.
She'd had no time to mind her other duties at the port together with her crew.
Alice had left most of those matters in James' hands. With the help of Tom and the rest of the sailors, she knew he would be fine.
"What's the word from our associates?" asked Helen.
"We lost three in India, and a couple more in Hong Kong." Alice informed as neutrally as she could. "As for London… the number of deserters keeps growing."
"It's natural; that's where the whole thing started. Their mouths must be full of gossip as we speak."
"Some are willing to have a meeting and see if we can reach some sort of agreement. I'll see it through as soon as we get there." Alice said, with the bad feeling they would behave in a very similar manner than Hamish.
Her associates however, were reasonable for the most part. She just hoped her absence wouldn't grant them the opportunity to change their judgment.
"I shall go with you". Offered her mother. Alice nodded and agreed.
"There's something else." Alice looked for a letter among her already signed papers. She showed it to her mother. It had an adress written in English, with a handwriting that revealed its author as a man of high status.
"It's from the gentleman that owed the carriage that I borrowed." Alice knew she was taking some liberties with her choice of verb.
"And what does he want?" asked Helen, with her concern accentuating her age.
"A full payment for the loss of the carriage."
"But you left it at the Ascot's mansion. Can't he go and get it back?"
"Apparently, the Ascots claim the carriage was never inside their property." Alice imagined Hamish making up a big tale with her as the villain. He would tell it to the gentleman, who would believe his words without a second thought.
Then, at night, free from all witnesses, Hamish would drive the carriage across the fields of his mansion, together with his mother, wife and child.
But Alice had no time to waste. Hamish and his family weren't worthy of a second of her attention.
What was really important was to pay the old gentleman his carriage, or else he threatened to take the whole matter to the authorities.
If it got out hand, Alice knew there was a big chance she would go out of business too.
She couldn't allow it.
She wouldn't.
"Do we have the money?" asked Helen with a sigh.
Money, money, money…. The world surely moved around it.
"Yes, but we'd have to postpone the crew's payment until our next trip." Alice knew this was the most plausible solution from a practical perspective.
But it was probable it would hurt her in the long run.
Her crew was loyal to her, but they were men with lives and families too.
She couldn't say how much trust left they would have for her if she denied them the money they had earned with their hard work.
It was a tough call, but she was the captain.
To take decisions and live with the consequences, that was her job.
The grandfather clock stroke four times in a row. Its hands had advanced three hours in a few minutes. Helen put her preoccupations aside for a moment and went to check the clock.
It was an useless thing, unable to fulfill its function, and yet she held great affection to it.
"It's old as it is bonkers."She explained to Alice, who looked at her from the desk. "It was the one thing worthwhile your father brought from his first journey… a few years before Margaret was born. I wasn't impressed by it at all, but Charles was so proud of it that I ended up liking it too after a few days. "
Alice had never heard the clock's story. She never would have guessed it had much value, even less of the sentimental sort.
Even less for her mother.
Helen was too practical to develop any sentiments towards objects, or so had Alice thought.
"It was one of the few things I never thought of selling to Hamish. It doesn't work right, but it is not a piece of junk without a worth. To the right person, it has great value."
Helen put her hands on the clock and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and exhaled.
She looked at her daughter.
"Sell it, Alice. And pay what's due."
Alice felt as if her mother had thrown a bucket of ice cold water to her face.
Her mother's short story hadn't prepared her for that ending.
"No." She answered, unwilling to yield. "I'll find another way, mother. It's my job as-"
"Well, I'm also head of the company, am I not? It's also my job to come up with solutions for these problems." Retorted Helen with newly gained energy. "Kingsleigh & Kingsleigh; it is two people, not one. Besides, it's just a clock, there will always be another."
By instinct, Alice's fingers went inside her pocket in search for his father's watch.
She found nothing.
She remembered she had given it away as a gift.
She smiled.
"Yes." Alice went to Helen's side and held her hands. She realized how lucky she was to have her mother by her side. "Thank you, mother."
They left the room together. It was time for dinner, excellent to give Alice a break of a day full of letters and complaints.
Is that the life she would have led had she agreed to work under Hamish' command?
What a miserable existence. She felt some pity for those who, besides dealing with horrendous amount of monotonous work, had also to deal with the Ascot tyrant.
Someone knocked at the door at the moment Alice and her mother walked across the hallway.
It was James. The sun had started to tan his skin. It gave him the semblance of a experienced sailor.
He was holding a box with small holes.
He greeted Alice and Helen with a reverence.
When he was alone with Alice, he acted like his normal self, like the true James, but whenever Helen was present, it was as if he was suddenly in the presence of the Queen and had to put on a mask of extreme politeness, like a courtier in a royal ball.
Alice had told him several times he had no need to show so much curtsey, that her mother wouldn't be offended , but the habit was too rooted in James' mind for him to change it all of a sudden.
Perhaps, Alice thought, it was the natural consequence of working for the Ascots for so long. Alice was grateful James had abandoned them before they could change him into another person.
He informed her of the status of the crew and the ship's supplies. Underneath his solemn tone, Alice could hear a touch of cockiness in his voice.
He had made sure everything was prepared for their next journey, from the food storage to the ammo cabinets.
The refreshments of the port and the nearby distractions had cleared the crew's minds and reestablished their spirits, and they were ready to follow their captain onwards the next destination.
He had also had the Kingsleigh & Kingsleigh cleaned from mast to lower desk.
"Tom didn't like the idea at first, but he obeyed when I reminded him I spoke with your authority." James said. "I'm not telling on him, though."
He jerked his head to the right and sneezed.
And sneezed again.
They were almost as erratic as the clock's strikes.
Helen put a hand on his forehead.
Alice smiled at the sight of James' expression.
"I think you are getting a cold. I'll go make you some tea." She looked at him with the tenderness of a mother hen. "Oh, my dear boy."
Alice had to bit her lip to stop a burst of laughter.
Helen went to the kitchen in spite of James' multiples claims of his good health.
It probably would have worked if every two words he said weren't followed by a sneeze.
"You know James, you were actually looking like a true sea wolf until this moment." Alice teased him. "A dear sea wolf boy."
James pretended to laugh.
"How rude of you. And to think I was going to give you something, but now…"
"What is it?"
"No, I'm insulted. The Harcourt's gift to Kingsleigh is officially canceled."
"Come on, don't make me write you an apology. I've written so many today I could fill a library."
James pretended to give great thought to the matter, and two seconds later, he handed the box to Alice.
She accepted with amusement and a touch of shyness.
"It's for you." He said, wondering in his mind why he was stating the obvious.
Alice laughed, and James assumed it was because she thought the whole situation was stupid.
But it was free of malice, even of the friendly sort.
"Thank you, James." She said with honest gratitude, and this relieved James from his fears.
She opened it up and found …
Nothing.
It was just a box with some dust inside.
That wasn't what she had expected at all.
It was a surprising gift indeed.
"A box…" Alice muttered, but changed her tone when she noticed James had heard her. " A box! It's just what I needed to archive the letters. This is quite sensible from you, James. Thank you again."
"A box, of course." James stopped and frowned. "What?"
He looked inside the box, his eyes became wide with disappointment, followed immediately by fear.
"No, this isn't what I…." He explained, pronouncing the words too closely together. He sneezed before he continued. "But where-?"
A scream came from the room upstairs. Helen attended to it with such promptitude that she left the tea boiling and forgotten. She climbed the stairs two steps at a time.
"Margaret!" She exclaimed.
Alice reacted at the name of her sister and went after her mother after putting the box down on the floor.
James hadn't grasped the situation, but he still followed them.
The three of them found Margaret, still dressed in her sleeping gown , cornered in the left side of the bed.
She embraced her legs and had a disgusted expression in her face, as if she had seen…
"A rat!" She explained to her mother when she went to her side to comfort her. "It was enormous, mother. It touched my forehead with its nose and licked me!"
"I'll go get a broom." James said, considering the option of getting a gun too, just in case the rat was too big.
He sneezed.
Scratching sounds came from under the bed.
Margaret tried to leave the room, but Alice stopped her.
"Don't worry, I've got this." She patted her sister's back
Alice knelt down in front of the bed and searched under with her hand.
"Alice, no!" Screamed Helen and James in unison.
"Found it." Announced Alice, dragging the animal by one of its paws.
It turned to be not a rat, but a kitten.
It trembled in Alice's arms like a beggar in winter.
"A dangerous beast." Alice softly caressed the animal's ears. "Am I right, James?"
If it was true that the first impression was the most important, and that it defined someone's opinion of you, then James was forever cursed to be a total nitwit in Margaret's eyes.
She was having dinner with her mother. James was invited, but he was too ashamed to accept and left before Helen asked him again.
Alice had gone after him, and both were now outside the entrance, sitting down underneath a barren sky.
The kitten played in the empty streets with a ball of paper, not too far away from them.
"I should go and apologize again." said James.
"You've already apologized ten times ." Said Alice, a little tired of his concern. "You woke Margaret up and got her off bed for the first time this day. You did no harm. And trust me, she'll be able to look back at this and laugh someday."
"Someday being soon or...?"
"Later than sooner, but better than never."
"That's good to hear." He snorted with sarcasm.
"Stop worrying so much. It's not like we are going to fire you over this."
"That's no excuse for my incompetence." He looked distraught. This was a first time for Alice. " I made a fool out of myself at the port today. Matters that should've taken me minutes took me hours. And then I come here and cause a scandal. I can't even find Polaris in the sky... some first mate I am turning out to be."
"Your chinese is not great and the stars will never be your best map. So what? The first you can practice and the second is not a must. Besides, I will continue helping you with both, as I've been doing since your first day. Just give yourself time."
James didn't answer. Alice remained next to him.
The kitten eventually got bored and approached them. It rubbed herself against James' ankle.
Alice thought he would kick the kitten away, but he held her gently and raised her far away from his face.
"As for you..." He said to the kitten in a fake angry tone, shaking her a little. "You got me into all this, little rascal. What do you have to say in your defense?"
The kitty purred.
"A great speaker." James said to Alice, and then he sneezed.
Alice took the kitten from him and placed her in her lap. The small animal fell asleep at the warm touch of her master's clothes.
"What are you going to call her?" James asked. "How about Mao?"
"Then you would be naming my cat 'Cat' in another language."
"I know. Witty, isn't it?"
"Well, at least you are practicing chinese."
Both laughed.
"There are no stars, and you don't have your charts with you." Alice looked up and scratched the kitten's head. "So I guess we can focus solely in your chinese tonight."
"Actually, there was something else I wanted us to talk about." Said James with determination.
"What is it?" asked Alice, a little worried about the turn of the conversation.
"Your story."
"What?"
"Well, you did say there was a chance would tell it to me tonight. And I was hoping that... you would."
For a moment, Alice's happiness overwhelmed her reluctance
She could count with her fingers the number of people with whom she had shared her story, two of them being her mother and sister; but she only needed a finger to count the person that had believed her without a patronizing attitude or out of motherly obligation.
Would James join her father in that group?
For this, she had a way to know.
The grandfather clock stroke.
It woke the kitten up. Alice remembered how she had woken up in the same way, just when she had heard his voice from far away.
This killed any motivation she had of sharing her story with James.
A part of her felt that she wouldn't be able to share it with anybody until she met him again.
Until then, the conversation had nowhere else to go.
"It's getting late." She said, cradling the kitten in her arms and standing up.
James imitated her.
"Of course."
"It was a long day for the two of us, we better get some sleep. Good night, James."
"Good night, Alice." James said. After walking two steps foward, he turned around. "I'm sorry; I wasn't trying to upset you."
"You didn't."
"Very well."
It was true. He had brought up the topic, but the wound opened up on its own. James didn't seem convinced that he hadn't, but decided to leave it as it was.
He dragged his feet and went on his way. The sight of him stung Alice.
James was a good man, a good friend.
One of the few she'd ever had outside Underland.
Maybe, she thought, she was being too defensive.
It wouldn't hurt to try and give him a chance.
"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
James stopped and turned on his heels.
"What?"
"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
James hesitated and mumbled to himself.
"Oh, a joke." He snapped his fingers. "And one of bawdy nature, I assume."
If they had been closer, Alice would have slapped him in the head.
"It's a riddle." She clarified. "Think about the answer and tell me tomorrow."
James tilted his head a bit to the right and folded his arms.
"As you wish, but …" He pointed at the kitten sleeping in Alice's arms. "Now here's my petition. Give that cat a good name, and tell me about it tomorrow, then we'll both have something to think about tonight. "
It was fair enough.
"Deal. And by the way, don't go around asking Tom and rest for an answer. You have to find it on your own."
"Alice, do you think I'd ever do that? " Asked James, though it was one of the first things he had considered.
He left, and the riddle kept him awake until past midnight, while his fellow sailors had longed succumbed to their sleep and snored loudly in their beds.
As for Alice, she continued answering and signing letters until early morning, with her new kitten keeping her company the whole time. When she was finished, she saw no point in going to bed and rested her head against the desk instead.
It was comfortable enough.
She fell asleep as soon as she closed her eyes.
The grandfather clock struck, but this time, it failed to wake her up.
That's how deeply she had drowned amidst her dreams.
The nameless kitten woke her up, purring and rubbing against her head.
She stayed next to Alice while the captain washed her face and prepared for a new day.
Someone knocked at the door when she had just finished putting on new clothes.
Helen and Margaret were still sleeping, so Alice had to answer.
She knew who it was, and hoped he hadn't come up with an answer yet. She first had to find a name for the kitten.
"Rise and shine, mister Harcourt." Greeted Alice.
But the lad in front of her was too young and spoke chinese too well to be James. Alice recognized him; he was the same servant she had abandoned at the station.
"Good morning." Said Alice in his language, wondering if he held some resentment towards her.
If he did, he didn't show it, and he handed a letter to Alice before she could apologize to him. It had the Ambassador's crimson seal: the symbol of the dragon.
"It's urgent, captain." The boy said dryly. He added nothing more and waited patiently as Alice opened the letter and read it.
What was written in the letter changed her plans for the rest of the day.
She couldn't say if it was for better or worse, but she didn't have to wonder about it.
She would find out soon enough.
That was her duty, after all.