Steve and Sam did the right thing when they forced him to come here, but after two days in bed, that familiar restless feeling was taking over. Living his best life out in the open air of the village changed him. Now the walls closed in, reminding him of all those other times someone kept him in close confinement. At least this time, adjusting to his disability didn't create the same mental shock like last time. He didn't mourn the loss of his first arm because that one carried too many bad memories but the second one symbolized a fresh start but he didn't allow himself to worry about it. Shuri replaced it once. She could do it again.
Everything would be back to normal in a few days. The doctors sealed the area around his shoulder in a protective cover and over that he wore a red sling, like before. Even if they released him from this prison they might him to stay Complex for the time being. With this in mind and after much arguing Bucky convinced Steve to return to the village to catch up on things and to inform the neighbors. He stressed that they couldn't ignore their responsibilities. Steve agreed, but only if Sam promised to stay with him.
Sam was in good spirits, telling him stories about his adventures in the bush and all the close calls with Thula and her team. Listening to him, Bucky almost forgot his condition, but sometimes his brain signaled to push his hair back or reach for something on the table only for him to remember his missing arm. Sam had just reached the conclusion about an encounter with an angry bird when someone knocked on the door.
"Come in," Bucky called, hoping for a doctor but instead saw Wanda's smiling face.
"Hello," she said, her eyes meeting his without flinching. A good sign. Some people avoided the issue, looking everywhere else except toward his missing limb. "I heard you're on the mend."
"I'm feeling a lot better," he said. "So you escaped from the latest meeting of the minds or what Sam calls 'the brainiac convention'?"
"I'm not a scientist and I admit it, I was bored. I tried to follow along but got lost. I explained what I did with it when we were away, and they're trying to break down my observations. They have your arm sealed up tight, but they're nervous about the whole situation and when Wakandan scientists are nervous, it's serious. I'm willing to repeat what I did when we were away, even if it was a slow process but I think they want to use that as a last resort. They've been talking to Wong, he's given them some information but Doctor Strange is the real expert and he's not here. After a while, all the theories fused in my head, so I left. I saw Steve and he asked me to stop by."
Bucky laid back against the pillows and let out a big sigh. He and Sam exchanged a mutual glance, and both looked away.
"Did I do, or say something wrong?" she asked.
"No, you're fine," Bucky said, considering for a brief moment how much he should share."It's just...oh what the hell. Steve's not been acting like himself ever since we came back from that place. He's become overprotective. He won't leave me alone for half a minute. He gets over anxious if he can't find me. He's having nightmares… and now he's asking random people to check up on me and he's the one who insisted Sam be here!"
She pursed her lips and stared at the far wall. "He's afraid you'll disappear."
"Once. Once and I didn't go that far, and only for a few hours. We've been through worse!"
"No, more than once," she said. Her brows furrowed, and she bit her lip. After a moment she seemed to have decided. "When they pulled you through that portal, he lost control. I've seen him in all kinds of situations and while he's lost his temper before, this time was different. I entered his mind to calm him down. I took a personal vow not to reveal what goes on when I have to do that but this time I'm making an exception. In his other life, he lost Bucky, several times. He experienced the other you, falling in a way impossible to reach him. I saw him tried fighting to defend him against people trying to hurt him, and the other Bucky disappeared in the forests of Wakanda, right in front of him. Perhaps, what happened to you was just...three times too many."
A heavy silence filled the air between them. "I guess that explains that," Bucky said. "He's told me a lot about his other life, but not everything, not about any of this."
"Everyone has a breaking point, Buck," Sam said, "Maybe this is his. Sounds like Post-traumatic stress disorder to me."
"So what do we do about it?" Bucky asked.
"This is Wakanda. We'll get them to help him, the way they helped you," Sam replied.
"Yeah, except I WANTED help. I don't think he even knows of what he's doing…"
"With your situation, things might get worse," Wanda said. "If he keeps this up…"
"He'll want to look out for me all the time, the way I used to do for him." Bucky leaned back against the pillow and sighed. "I don't want to go deciding behind his back, for him. I hate it when people do that for me… He's a grown man…"
"But if we hadn't decided for you, brought you up here two days ago where would you be now and you're a semi-grown man!" Sam said. "Steve's dealing with some serious stuff. You don't want to get into a place where you're enabling behavior that's unhealthy for both of you."
Their conversation was interrupted by the door opening. Steve entered the room and Bucky could tell just by looking at his slightly flushed face that he had run the entire distance between the village and the palace.
"And I told her, I am NOT going out there again after dark!" Sam said. It took a moment but Bucky recognized the tactic. Sam did this every time he was caught talking about things he shouldn't. He gave a slight nod to Wanda who put on a forced smile. She understood.
"So you're leaving it to that little woman to…" Bucky deliberately was deliberately vague.
"That little woman can climb a tree faster than I can and get higher!" Sam exclaimed, putting the right touches into the fake conversation.
"But you can fly!" Wanda said.
"I don't like to in the dark, and not in the forest. Too many little animals and other things try to hitch a ride. In the city, I'm fine. Out there… hey Steve. Everything ok?"
"Everything's fine. All taken care of. I spoke to the doctor, and it looks like you can move up to our quarters today if you are up to it."
"I am," Bucky said as he brought himself to a sitting position. His hand slipped and Steve was by his side, helping him up.
"I've been through this before," he said, giving Steve a sidelong glance. "I can manage."
"Sorry," Steve said not looking the least bit sorry.
"I better be off," Wanda said. "I'm going to visit Natasha, try to convince her to take a walk with me. She needs to get out."
"I've not seen much of her since she came back," Sam said.
"She stays in her room most of the time," Wanda said. "Clint says she's been like that ever since she woke up. Bruce asked me to help cheer her up since he's been busy with the brainiacs. I'm glad you're feeling better, and I hope everything works out for you, Bucky." A meaningful glance accompanied her words and left the room.
"I have a video date with Thula right about now. She's coming home tomorrow so I better be on my way too. I'll catch you later after you get yourself settled," Sam said. He followed Wanda out of the room.
Bucky swung his legs over, so he could sit side of the bed. He scooted his feet around until he found his slippers. Steve reached for them, but Bucky held him back.
"I can do this," He said with a smile. He slipped his feet inside them and then stood up. He knew how to compensate for most things but he forgot to consider the loss of the weight of his arm, and it affected his balance. Before he could right himself, Steve's arm went around his waist, holding him steady. his arm.
"Thanks," he said. They stood there for a moment, staring into each other's eyes, Steve still holding onto him.
"We'll get through this, Buck," he said. "That's what I'm here for."
"Yes," Bucky said. He tried to picture this from Steve's point of view. How would he react if something forced him to lose Steve again and again and it happened right in front of him? "I got used to being so self-sufficient and…" a knock and the door opened to reveal one of his doctors. He didn't seem surprised to find them standing in a semi-embrace. Steve took a step back allowing the doctor to approach Bucky.
"White Wolf. You are free to go, but if possible, we would like you to stay here, at the Complex for a few days. This situation is unusual and…"
"I understand," Bucky said. "I'll stay."
"We've sent a list of instructions to the computer in Captain Roger's quarters, but as this has happened before…"
"I'm familiar with them," Bucky finished his sentence again.
"Would you like help to return to your room, or will you be able to move about on your own?"
"He'll be ok," Steve said before Bucky reacted. "I'll be with him."
"Well, if you need anything, check back in with us." The Doctor excused himself.
Without asking his permission, Steve seemed intent on helping him change. Bucky brushed him off, dressing as much as he could without help. With his shirt, he gave in. Steve helped him to remove the sling. He held up his arm and Steve slipped the shirt down over his head, adjusting it for his arm and the seal. He kept his hand around his waist and pulled him close.
"I'm so sorry, Buck," he said.
"Not your fault. I didn't think about the consequences of playing the hero…"
"I mean our messing around with the Universe."
"Hey. Don't blame yourself. You're more important than an arm and thank you, for all you're doing."
"It's Not enough," Steve said. He stayed silent as he helped him replace the sling.
Bucky said nothing more, but started toward the door, doing his best to compensate for his new weight dynamics. Steve held onto his other arm, guiding out the door and back to their quarters. Every time he tried to shake Steve loose, his hold on him grew a little tighter, a source of comfort and distress.