Chapter One-Hundred and Twenty-Seven
Claire looked around their home, able to see where the storm had caused the house to leak. John's room was soaked because he refused to sleep with his window shut, and most of the rain had blown right into his room, drenching his bedding, carpet, and ruining the amps and any other electrical stuff he owned except for his guitar that he'd started keeping in his closet after Amelia had broken a few of the strings and accidentally poked her fingers on the broken wires and made them bleed.
John sighed, touching his hands against the sopping wet pillow on his bed. "Fucking hell…"
Claire touched his back, moving to press a kiss to the back of his neck. She backed up when he flinched away from her, able to see his agitation and knowing that it'd been a while since he'd vented any emotions. "We can dry it out, and replace anything that was ruined…"
John huffed, his dark brows knitting together in frustration as his breath changed.
"John… if you need to release do it. Don't force it inside." She reached toward him, catching herself before she touched him. "I think that's why your seizures didn't stop sooner… you force everything down and-"
"Out." He breathed, his voice dangerously low. His fists balled at his sides, his muscles tightened as he fought against himself. "Now."
Claire nodded, closing his door as she knelt just outside of his room. Her ear pressed against his door as she listened to his rushed breaths as they left his body, she could practically feel the tension in his mind and body, able to see the lid on his jar of emotions bending under the pressure until it finally gave. She shut her eyes tight as a raw scream ripped from his throat, listening as a loud thud echoed through his room when he fell to his knees. She knew he was fighting himself, the urge to let his fists fly growing stronger with every passing second. She listened as he forced himself to calm down, pushing his door open when she deemed it safe to enter. She smiled at John as he knelt on his floor, gently brushing her hand through his hair only to see pain written on his face at her touch. "Do you hurt?" She asked, knowing that the night spent on the floor of the library had to have been hard on his already painfilled body, she knew that it was getting better, but this effect of the drugs would most likely last for the rest of his life.
He nodded, letting the pain he lived with every day show as she touched his shoulder. "Yeah…"
She bit her lip, taking his hand in her own as he leaned on her. She combed her fingers through his hair, feeling his breath heave in his chest. She kissed his lips, her touch so gentle it was barely a brush against his skin. "How can I help?" She whispered, touching his long lashes that were fanned out over his cheeks.
He shook his head, turning his face toward her body and burying his nose in the curve of her neck. "Just stay." He mumbled, resting his body against her as she held him.
She smiled, lifting him to his feet and walking with him to her bedroom. She'd become used to him needing her like this, but the truth was, she needed him just as much. Even with the struggles he faced every day, and the pain that clouded his mind, he was there for her. He protected her, and made her feel like she was the most important woman in the world, he acted like she was an angel, and she could never get enough of it.
She pulled her covers back, laying John's long body in her bed, before she pulled his shoes and socks off. She crawled into the bed with him, laying with her forehead pressed against his as she stared into his eyes. "They're like chocolate today…" She smiled, noticing how intently he studied her. "What're you thinking about?"
"You have the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen…" He breathed, resting his hand on her side as she moved closer to him.
She blushed, kissing his lips as his chest pressed against her. "You haven't seen yours then." She closed her eyes, able to feel his heart thumping against her body. "I can't wait until we get married."
John chuckled, tensing as her fingers slipped into his pocket that held the little bag of weed that he'd bought. "Claire-"
"What is this?" She pulled the Marijuana from his pants, holding it up to the light. "John!"
He snatched the bag from her, freezing when her fingers wrapped around his wrist.
"Did you smoke it?" She asked, noticing that there wasn't anywhere near enough for a full joint.
He shook his head, his eyes showing his honesty. "I was testing myself. I wanted to prove to myself that I can be around that kind of stuff without giving in."
Claire nodded, knowing that even though he was a good liar he wouldn't lie to her. "So… this is all you bought?"
He smiled, kissing her nose. "Yeah. That's all I bought."
She locked her lips with his, tasting him as he pushed his tongue into her mouth, causing her to moan in pleasure as he pushed on a particularly nice spot. "You're a dork." She sighed, feeling his long fingers comb through her hair.
He chuckled, running his thumb over her ear. "I love you too."