Chapter One-Hundred and Thirty-Three
John heaved a breath as he looked at Claire, her fiery hair was draped over her face, the pale skin of her face turned a rosy pink from her tears. He gave a small command to Chance, telling her to sit and stay, before he took a step toward her. "Sweets?" He asked, his voice so quiet it was almost inaudible.
"Fuck off." She choked, her voice cracking as she furiously wiped a tear from her cheek.
"Sweets-"
"GO AWAY!" She shouted, slamming the book in her lap closed. "I don't want to talk to you!" She stood to leave, trying to push past him on her way out.
John's hands gripped her shoulders, stopping her as she moved. "Claire." He spoke in a firm tone, but not so firm that he sounded like his father. "Stop."
"LET ME GO!" She balled her fists, letting a few wild swings fly into his chest until he released her. "I HATE YOU BENDER!"
John stepped back, letting her run from him. He felt something in his chest break, the cracking of his heart creating a worse pain that any broken bone he'd ever had. He heaved a breath, his chest constricting as a panic attack gripped him.
She'd called him Bender… not John… not Johnny… not Sugar or Baby… Bender. The name he'd been forced to bear. He fell to his knees, his hands clasping over his ears as her words repeated in his head, echoing through his skull. He was vaguely aware of Chance's weight against him, her attempt to calm him barely having an effect on him.
He lifted his head, taking Chance's leash as he bolted from the school. He didn't care that there were still two hours left in the school day, he just wanted out. He sprinted until his legs would no longer keep the pace, his breath coming in harsh gasps as he slowed to a walk.
Chance's tongue hung out of her mouth as she panted, her blue eyes searching her master for what could be wrong. She licked his hand, wishing he would understand her.
John heaved a breath, looking around the new part of town he'd come to. He breathed the scent of aerosol paint in the air, looking around at the bright graffiti on the bricks. "I can't go back there…" He whispered, taking the little bag of weed from his pocket and shaking the contents into his palm. "I can't be with someone who hates me." He dumped the pot into his mouth, the hay-like flavor filling his mouth as he chewed it. His body relaxed as the high hit, his pupils dilating as he swallowed the drugs. "I can't stay in that house knowing that she hates me…" He sat on the sidewalk, his back pressing into the wall of an apartment building as Chance laid her head in his lap. "I'm fucked…" He choked, his throat closing up as he tried to push his tears down. "I'm so fucked…"