Bucky didn't need to prop himself up on pillows or worry about waking up with pins and needles in his good arm anymore. He turned to face Steve who was lying on his side. He reached out to touch his bare chest with his new hand, playfully outlining circles on his skin. He moved it up to his neck, and down his arm, awed as always by the warmth and the hardness of his muscles. Steve opened his eyes when he moved his hand around to his back, tracing the same shapes up and down his spine.
"You enjoy playing with your new toy?" He asked.
"I like... the feel of you," he said and winced as soon as he said the words. Steve would laugh, say something about his words going over the top, but he didn't, opting instead to smile and pull him close. Bucky loved the sensation of Steve's body against his own skin, and he understood his need to listen to his beating heart because now he was tempted him to fall back asleep, comforted by the even rhythm.
"I understand," Steve said, reaching down to give him a light kiss which Bucky returned. He let go of him to roll over on his back and stare at the ceiling.
"Today's the day," Bucky said. "Are you ready?"
"No choice. Doctor Mvba says I'm a model patient and says we should try. The rains are due to start soon and we have to take advantage of the last few clear days," Steve replied.
"And he wants me there?"
"To begin with, and after that…"
"I'm glad Aryo did what she did. At least you get to leave your quarters."
"Only because of Doctor Mvaba. He's good. I don't know what my problem is, I put everyone at risk by putting this off."
"Because you're stubborn, but you'll get through this. I have faith."
"I'm surprised T'Challa hasn't kicked us all out of Wakanda and left us to our own devices."
"If you go, I go and he won't ask me to go... so that's that." Bucky sat up and stretched with both his arms way over his head. He enjoyed being able to do this again. He glanced over at Steve who eyed him like a piece of candy and didn't seem at all embarrassed to be caught in the act.
"You're acting like a little kid," he said. "But don't stop."
Bucky laughed and leaned back on his elbows, inviting Steve to do what he wanted. Steve flashed him a flirtatious grin and chose to mock tackle him. Bucky pushed him off, doing his best to wrap his arms around him in a wrestling hold but Steve was able to break out of it, rolling over until he was on top of him. They continued on like this for several minutes, one getting the advantage for a few moments before the other could make their move, laughing at each other's attempts to hold the other down. Bucky didn't know if Steve pretended to just give up, but he finally was able to roll him over, pinning him down, one arm by his side, the other straight up above his head. They held that position for a few moments, Steve staring up in his eyes.
"Unfair advantage," he said, pretending to gasp for breath. "But I'm not about to complain. It's good to have you...fixed."
"You've missed this, and you know it," Bucky said, planting a hard kiss on him before rolling over on his back beside him. "I can't help it. This one's even more sensitive. I wish our other problems could go away this easily."
Steve's face took a serious turn. "So do I, "he said.
They took their time eating breakfast. Steve had decided to make pancakes, which wasn't a bad idea, but time consuming. He would do this on today of all days. A quick grab and go would have been good enough.
"I think I should check on the team first," Steve said.
Steve normally faced his obstacles head on but this time Bucky could tell he was stalling, but he couldn't blame him. What was waiting for would be damn unpleasant for him, making his own recent surgery look like a party.
If it wasn't for the change of clothes, nothing about Wanda was different. She sat inside her enclosed glass cubicle, working hard, with Peter Parker right outside her glass prison, staring at a monitor, the remaining available interpreter of the alien signatures.
"Captain Rogers! Bucky! She's still at it but I'm worried about her. She doesn't complain but seems tired. She has to use such tiny energy streams, but it has to be continuous because if she stops, the virus tries to reformat itself. We need some kind of barrier to stop it from regaining ground. The doctors say she's ok for now.. oh... and thanks for helping me get a few extra days here. Ms. Potts knows a lot of important people but I really really want to see more of Wakanda…but all my spare time is spent with Doctor Banner which is kind of cool..but I thought being in Wakanda would be a little cooler if you know what I mean." At one time Bucky dismissed him as being a little irritating but now he found his enthusiasm a welcome break from the looming uncertainty.
Wanda waved at them from inside her clear prison and smiled, confirming Peter's words. She didn't complain.
"She's a good soldier," Steve said. Wanda heard him, her smile became even wider. "How are you?" He asked her. "And be honest."
"Tired, but at least I know who I am," she said. "I'm sorry about what's happened."
"Thank you," Steve said. "But that's our problem. Everyone out here, including the Wakandans, appreciate all the work you've put into this... and that includes you," he said, directing the last part of his statement to Peter. He flushed at the compliment. No wonder people will follow him anywhere.
Bucky noted Peter staring at his new arm. "So they told me this one is even more awesome than the last one?" He asked. "And Mr. Stark put in a firewall? Can you…"
"We need to go, Peter, sorry, but we have people waiting. I'm sure after this is over, Bucky will be happy to explain everything." Steve said as a polite way to escape Peter's chatter.
"And take you on a tour of Wakanda, my special guest. I won't forget," Bucky said.
"That's awesome! Thanks!"
"She can't do that forever," Steve said after they left the lab. "What if we need her for a mission? We'd come back to this and have to start all over again. I'm going to leave Vision for later. His sentience worries me."
"I hope he doesn't do a Rhodey on us," Bucky said as they traveled down the hallways, nodding to the people they passed. Their friend remained still in his hospital room, under sedation. "That's a scary idea, considering how powerful he is."
"He won't," Steve said." But none of this is helping us make any kind of ethical decision."
Natasha was up and looking more like herself. Clint was with her. "I've been taking the meds for depression," she explained. "I resisted, which was silly. It's helped with the doom and gloom feelings, but it hasn't shut her up." She was sitting by the window in her room looking out at the bright sky. "The told me the weather is about to change," she said.
"We're doing all we can," Steve said, ignoring her attempt to change the subject.
"This is like some weird inversion of the abortion debate," she said. "These are our bodies, but they didn't ask for this. When I see her memories, it makes her real. She has a...right for redemption, the same as me."
"Natasha, smarter people than us are asking those same questions," Steve said, his voice very gentle.
"That's easy for you to say!" She said. "Your guy stays quiet!"
"Natasha, we've all experienced PTSD and even if it's helping him, I'm sure Steve wishes there was another way…" Clint said.
She immediately looked contrite. "I'm sorry about you having flashbacks. I'm just on edge and I hate not having answers."
"We're doing all we can, Natasha," Steve said.
They cut their visit short. Back in the hallway, Steve leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. "I guess it's time," he said. "I know that you know this is just a delaying tactic."
"Yes. You ready for this?" Bucky asked.
Steve nodded. Buck took his hand and led him out of the building, and walked out to the Battlefield. Steve's hand tightened around his as they strolled among the memorials to the place where they first found each other. Doctor Mvba was waiting for them, still with a warm smile. Bucky released his hand.
"White Wolf, thank you for coming," he said. "Now Captain Rogers, your progress so far is a good thing. We're just going to stand here for a while…"
"And talk about my feelings?" He said. Bucky couldn't tell if he was joking or not.
"If you like. If you don't that's ok as well. The important thing is for you to realize is there is no pressure."
They stood there out in the open for a few minutes under clear skies, the wind whipping around them, growing stronger, disturbing the leaves and twigs on the ground.
"Can you describe what happened that day?" the Doctor asked.
"It was hot. They landed their ships across the river, T'Challa put a barrier in place and the aliens ran up against it, hundreds of them, sacrificing their own people. Wanda and Shuri were with Vision, T'Challa opened the barrier, we ran to meet them, everyone fought hard...we should have won. We always won," Steve said. "I wouldn't let myself even consider any other outcome. Thanos left, I assumed he would leave us alone but…" His voice trailed off and he reached out and grabbed Bucky's arm, holding on tight.
"Stay with us," Doctor Mvba's calm voice broke through. "Desensitization is never easy at first. You're doing fine. Can you talk about the other times…"
"The first time I lost him, he fell from the train, down an icy mountain, into a river. I had no idea he survived...that he was like me...if I had known…" his voice started to break.
"We can save the what if feelings for later," the Doctor said.
"Then...they pulled him away, through the portal. I saw him disappear…"
"Breath," the Doctor said. "Relax. You came through that and you're here now. The moment you start feeling like you can't handle it, we'll leave. You understand?"
Steve nodded.
"White Wolf, would you mind leaving us for a few minutes, so we can talk, but please stay where he can see you?" Doctor Mvba asked.
"Sure," Bucky said and walked toward the trees until he was out of earshot. He turned around. The doctor was speaking and Steve listened, standing with his feet apart, his arms crossed nodding his bowed head to whatever he was saying. Bucky turned his attention upward and studied the deceptive skies. Any day now they would darken and thick clouds would envelop the region and remain there for several weeks.
He considered their hopeless situation. No fantastic half magical enemies on the other side of the universe or evil consortium leaders threatening them. The team was broken apart and suffering because they tried changing their universe for the best of reasons, but instead placed themselves in a kind of hell. Somewhere an answer existed, someone could release them from their captivity.
He actually thought about praying. His parents took him to church in his youth, but he lapsed, but not through any kind of hard decision. He didn't consciously stop believing in God, it was just his life was so chaotic that he never got around to asking himself the big questions. He considered for a moment the religious practices of the Wakandans and wondered if Bast would listen to him. Steve and The Doctor deep in conversation, took little notice of him so he took a chance. He's heard stories of unexplainable things happening to people and he's seen enough weird things that he decided it was worth a try. If nothing else, he could tell everyone he'd covered all the bases.
"If anybody is up there,' he said, "Can you please help us? Thor...Wong...wake up! Doctor Strange... anybody! We need help down here!" Glad that no one was around, he repeated his request, imagining Sam's reaction to him out here talking to the sky.
Apart from the rustling wind in the trees, silence surrounded him. The birds didn't even want to talk to each other but he wasn't disappointed. If something out there heard him they wouldn't answer right away. He turned back to face the pair, startled by a bright circle appearing in the sky between them. He stood still for a moment, his mouth agape at the sudden clear answer to his request but common sense grabbed hold. No, not that soon! This must be another threat!
"Steve!" He called out, rushing toward the phenomenon. Steve reactions activated and he rushed to join him.
"Bucky, NO!" He called out, making Bucky stop short. Damn, not here, not now. He wasn't afraid for himself but Steve didn't need this. The circle grew larger and became something familiar.
"A portal," Steve said. He wasted no time, going to Bucky's side and grabbing hold of him and wrapping his arm around his waist, sending a clear message. If Bucky went anywhere, Steve was going with him.
An image appeared inside the circle, of a hooded figure. Doctor Mvaba joined them, his eyes wide open in disbelief. The being stepped out of the circle onto solid ground.
"Who are you?" Steve asked. "What do you want?"
"Hello, James, Bucky, White Wolf, the man of many titles," a familiar voice replied. The being pulled back the hood revealing a pink elongated face. "I am here to help."
It was The Speaker.