Standard disclaimers apply!

I do not own Harry Potter. I have nothing to do with Scholastic, Warner Bros or Bloomsbury. I'm not JKR and I am certainly not making any profit out of this.

9.45pm, 3rd September, 1998

Hermione! Sweety-pie, darling, oh-light-of-my-life! (Yes, that's what George has been saying all day!)

Just secretly, I don't mind when he pretends to wind me up about you ... but don't spread it around, OK? I've got a reputation to maintain.

Or not – so you can spread it around all you want.

Not so secretly, Harry is moping around and came into work today just for something to do. Be sure to tell his girlfriend that he's a right royal pain in the arse when she's not around to keep him occupied or play kissy-face with him. In fact, I'd much rather watch her play kissy-face with him than having him sloping around here with the whole "Ginny say's this" and "Ginny thinks that" thing that he's putting me through at the moment!

How are the lessons going? You didn't say much about them – I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad one ... good maybe?

Excellent news about Hagrid and his wand! Say hello from me when you see him on Friday. I miss him – don't miss his lessons much though (I know you'll keep that to yourself) and it can only be a good thing that McGonagall has decided to take an interest in what he's actually teaching. I used to wonder, a bit, why Dumbledore didn't – but I suppose he had other things on his mind.

George sends his love back. Mum wants me to remind you that you need to eat a good breakfast in the mornings. Dad says hello and that he and Mum will write at the end of the week.

Percy tells me to tell you that he's "ever so proud to have another Head in the family" (like he's already told you about a hundred times) and that he knows you'll do the position and yourself proud (no pressure!).

Fleur is sending you some more shampoo because she's made a new batch and she's quite sure that the Hogwarts shampoo just isn't good enough – and why she wanted me to tell you that is beyond me, but I promised I would. If she asks, you can let her know that I did. Bill and Charlie also say hello – Bill envies you and wishes he could go back too, while Charlie says you couldn't pay him all the galleons in Gringotts to go back to school.

Give my love to Ginny and say hello to Nev and Luna for me.

*

Dear Hermione! Don't believe a word of anything that your arse of a boyfriend tells you. Yes, I miss Ginny (and YOU!!!), but I am not in any way shape or form moping or sloping. Love, Harry.

*

Dear, Sweet, Peachy Hermione!

How is my favourite Head Girl? Just for the sake of clarity, both Ronnikins AND The Chosen One are soppy, moping gits and it's all rather sickening. Truly! 10 minutes in their company is the equivalent of 16 Puking Pastilles.

Speaking of Puking Pastilles; next week I'm sending your Head Girlship a special box (don't worry yourself, nothing that will get you into trouble!) to celebrate your re-entrance into the venerable world of education. Expect it on Wednesday at the latest.

Meanwhile, my Neanderthal younger brother is threatening to detach me from my remaining ear, so I'll pass the quill back to him.

George (wishes you were here to keep his prat little brother under control)

*

Yes. See what I have to put up with?

Anyway, it's getting late. I hope everything is OK with you and that you're enjoying your lessons, and I miss you (I might even miss that cat of yours, but don't tell him that, he might think I actually LIKE him or something).

LET ME KNOW ABOUT THE HOGSMEADE WEEKENDS AS SOON AS YOU KNOW THE DATES!!!!

Love you!

Ron

Thanks for the (very encouraging) reviews! No, it's not going to be all letters. :-D