Chapter 34: Twice the Guilt
Rachel: Interesting… took Percy 5 years to kiss Annabeth in the original stories but on here it took a freaking 33 chapters!
AAZ: You read fanfiction?
Rachel: Why wouldn't I?
AAZ: I don't know- I mean… you're the oracle?
Rachel: Exactly! Apollo apparently made it a crucial point for me to read all literary works out there and it was either listening to him make horrible haikus or begin reading fanfictions.
AAZ: Percabeth fanfiction?
Rachel: Why not? It's better than reading about some Spartan goddess that he keeps mentioning. Plus, I'm in my oracle cave right now and pretty much have all technology I want… well as long as I don't start to Google up some drakon then I'm fine.
AAZ: *smh* You demigods know what Google is?
Rachel: One… I'm not a demigod… and two siding with Hermes in the prank war between him and Apollo does have its perks.
AAZ: How can I ever forget… Hermes created the internet! *grumbles sarcastically that the internet was actually created by a group of demigods that wanted a good source of knowledge for monsters*
Rachel: Anyways the real Percabeth-
AAZ: They use that as a couple name at camp now?
Rachel: The demigods got a bit of an Aphrodite spell put on them. Now everyone is shouting out couple name! TRATIE?! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I'm pretty sure Travis and Katie has nothing going on-
AAZ: Actually some fans might disagree…
Rachel: *ignores AAZ completely* - and the fact that Clarisse and Chris were the only one without a couple name yet- wait why am I telling you this? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!
AAZ: I'm… uhh… a mortal that can see through the Mist like you?
Rachel: Wait… were you the one that tortured everyone into dancing with mortals? Let the fake demigods through a tour at camp-
AAZ: I DO NOT OWN PERCY JACKSON! I DON'T KNOW PERCY JACKSON! AAZ GONE!
Rachel: THAT'S YOUR NAME AAZ! ANNABETH! THALIA! I FOUND THAT PERSON!
Thalia: The person that got me free burgers?
Annabeth: *sharpens her knife* The person that forced Percy to dance with other girls?
Rachel: AAZ… You'd better start running….
AAZ: *already running* GEE… YOU THINK?!
Percy's POV:
On second I was freaking out with my wedding that was to be next week, and then next I was lip-locking with someone that have been on my mind for the past month.
Am I a horrible person?
Yeah, I guess you can say that.
I didn't let her finish her thought, all I knew was my body was acting by itself and I was kissing Annabeth with more passion then I ever did with Rachel. The best part? She was kissing me back. Her lips were soft against mine and her arms were slowly wrapping around me.
I didn't need to know anything but about this girl I was kissing… this girl I was kissing… just a week before my wedding.
My wedding is next week-
As if our thoughts were linked together, we both jumped away from each other. Annabeth's face was blushing furiously and I'll bet that my face wasn't any better. "Y-you're getting married-" Annabeth stuttered as backed away from me.
My heart was beating so hard from just that one kiss that I was afraid it would just burst out of my chest, "I… you- we,"
'Yeah, let's focus on forming words, shall we Percy?'My brain told my mouth.
I cautiously took a moment to stare up at Annabeth who was doing everything she can to avoid my gaze, "You're getting married next week…" Annabeth let that though trail off. "This is not- we can't be-"
"Annabeth-" I took a step closer to her trying to get my thoughts into words.
She backed away, "I can't, this is not- ARGH!" She finally met my gaze, "We can't! Us!" She gestured between the both of us. "This cannot happen-"
I was having trouble keeping my words in check, but it seems Annabeth was having more problems accepting what had just happen. I had no idea what happened… well maybe I did, but I never meant for it to happen. Her eyes darted nervously between the ground and her foot. "No no no no no," Annabeth repeated as her face plastered a look of fear in realization. "That can't- you're getting married in a week."
I opened my mouth to say something then closed it as I realized no word was coming out. It's almost as if the kiss had left me speechless and that my whole brain was melted into a pile of brain mush.
I stared at Annabeth as she looked at me, her grey eyes calculative and scared as she took a deep breath, "You're going to marry Rachel, we can't- I like you Percy." Another deep breath came out from Annabeth as if she just said her most treasured secret. I would be lying if I said those words alone didn't make my heart pound against my chest.
"But not in that way," My soul felt crushed, worst then crushed… destroyed as she said that. She took in another huge intake of air as she continued, "You're just stressed out about the wedding, this kiss never happened." She told me as I saw her hands getting shaky.
I wanted her to say that she returned the feelings, that she was happy that I kissed her. I honestly do not know what I would've done if she had said she liked me, but It would've made me happy… very happy.
I laughed weakly, "Ha, wedding stress that must be it! In France it's perfectly normal for a kiss and greet." I blabbed on trying not to feel the already forming black hole in my head. Maybe it's not a good time to tell her that over in France they kiss on the cheek not full on make-out session.
"Yeah…" She blinked her eyes and turned away from me, "You know what? I think Piper is calling me from over there, I should be heading to Thalia's."
She didn't face me as she said that and walked away from me. I held my head down as she walked away, 'She'll never look at me the same way again… I'm no longer the good friend that's always there for her. I'm the bastard that tried to kiss her a week before her wedding.' I told myself. 'Why the hell did I do that?'
The messed up thing is not because I actually kissed Annabeth, but the fact that I actually enjoyed it…
My head finally wrapped around what had just happened…
Did I just hope that Annabeth like me more than a friend? Questions buzzed through my head, but the most obvious one came in last and it was right when I heard her voice from behind me.
"Percy?"
I turned around, my eyes meet with the emerald green eyes of my fiancé.
Did I just cheat on my fiancé?
~Page Break~
We sat across each other in the ice cream shop that I had both good and bad memories with.
We didn't say anything, instead I just stared at her. Rachel and I… we've been together for years and years, not including the time she left me, and in all those years, I don't think I've ever done something as bad as this. Sure during our high school years, there were a few outside kisses in between our relationship, but we've never actually cheated on one another. However this time, I was the one in the wrong.
I was the first one to break the silence. "Rachel, I'm sorry." I couldn't try to lie to Rachel if I wanted too, and I don't want to. I can't bear to be lying to someone that meant so much to me. "Our wedding is next week and I'm-" I buried my face in my hands. How could I have done this to Rachel? I slowly looked up at Rachel, "I just kissed someone else."
Rachel raised up her hand as if wanting to slap me. I wanted her to slap me, to just blame me on everything, this whole damn thing was my fault. Rachel slowly put her hand down, it was as if she was looking for reasons to believe that I didn't do this. I wasn't the guy who would just have feelings for someone else a week before my wedding.
"Rachel, I'm sorry. I really am. -"
"You may have given me a second chance because I left you, but that doesn't mean that I'm required to give you a second chance. You asked me if I did love you and honestly I do. You're the first person to ever try to get close to the crazy rich Dare child and the first person that liked me for me. So I love you, but I'm not sure if you even return the feeling."
"I do return the feeling."
"Then why would you kiss someone just a week before our wedding?"
"I-I-" I was at lost for words. "Rachel, I did a mistake, I wasn't-"
"Percy do you even want to get marry? Or you feel obliged to get marry because we had wasted over a series of years with one another?"
"Rachel I'm really sorry." I told her earnestly. I couldn't waiver at all. I knew that all my life, I've been waiting for this moment, to marry the girl of my dreams and from the time I've met Rachel, it was always her that was my dream girl. But now, I'm hesitating to marry her. I didn't want to feel like this. I shouldn't feel like this…
Rachel looked at her hand where it held the engagement ring I gave her, "Tell me that kiss did not mean anything. Percy I need you to be honest, I can't love someone who's always thinking about someone else-"
"I'm not-"
"Then why did you kiss her? You weren't out of your mind, you weren't crazy. Before we were dating, I was your best friend, you loved me, you cared for me, but I need to know if it is actually love you're giving to me."
I let my hands dropped loosely to my side, "I do love you, I don't know what came over me."
"Then do you love Annabeth?"
I couldn't answer that, I felt like my heart was being ripped into twos. "Rachel-"
"Do you love Annabeth?" She repeated herself.
I didn't answer. Rachel nodded as if she finally understood something that she's been avoiding for a long time. Then she grabbed my hand and placed something within it.
The engagement ring I gave her.
"Rach-"
"Unless you get your feelings sorted out, I don't think we can get marry. Not when there's two person that you're holding in your heart."
"There's only one person that I'm in love with."
Rachel turned her head away from mine, "And I think we both know who that is." She looked down at the uneaten ice cream that we ordered, "Maybe I was wrong for coming back to New York." She said as her eyes glazed over. "I think your feelings for me disappeared the moment I left you to go to Europe."
With that said my fiancé, correction, ex-fiance left me once again. At the same place, but however this time, it was my fault.
~PAGEBREAK~
"So how's your wedding going? Rachel suddenly called Juniper just a couple hours ago to cancel all those flowers. Are you guys planning some other elaborate theme or-"
"Grover, I'm not getting married." I said bluntly as I took down another shot. Normally I wasn't the kind of guy to be drinking, but considering that there was both Grover and Chris here, the two responsible guy, I think I could break that rule. To be honest, I lost track of time since I got to the bar. It was pretty rare for us to have one of these guys night and with Nico and Chris here as well was a miracle actually.
"What?!" Chris and Grover exclaimed at the same time with as Pollux our bartender placed down his glass.
Nico spit out his drink, "Sorry, did you say-"
"You can't be serious." Pollux trailed off.
"Yeah!" Connor held his hands up for a high five. "NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT! You want to spend a few more weeks as a single man huh?"
"Sorry, bro, but Percy is too much of a wimp to be wanting the single life. He barely survived when Rachel was gone remember?" Travis laughed good naturedly.
"Well, trust me when you're about to get tied down to marriage, it's only natural that you want more time as a bachelor."
"No, we're not getting married at all. Ever. The wedding is called off." I elaborated, taking down a shot.
This time their reactions were a bit better, wide gaping mouth… well aside from Connor who kept a confused face. "Nice joke man! Now really when is it delayed to?" Connor asked as he sat in the seat next to me.
"I think he's actually serious…" Chris trailed off. The guy had already gotten married to the infamous Clarisse La Rue. Believe it or not, I think they were expecting a baby in a couple months… and to be honest no one is as surprised as me. I mean… seriously? Clarisse as a mother? No one could've imagined that.
"What do I look like someone who would be joking around about this matter?" I asked them.
Connor laughed weakly as if he wasn't sure whether or not it was an appropriate time to be making jokes. "So… I guess we can say you have no luck with weddings?"
From beside me, I could feel the anger radiating off Nico, "What? Did she have some other exhibition to go to?"
"Nico, not everything is Rachel's fault." I grumbled clearly not in a good mood.
Grover seems to be the only one able to guess my intention, "So you're saying it's your fault?" He said in a low tone.
I didn't answer that question, but it seems that Grover understood what I meant by that. I glance over at Nico who had a raised eyebrow, but otherwise the guy kept quiet.
"Please, what can Percy do? Percy is way too loyal to Rachel." Travis added in with a grin on his face. "The guy waited three years just to get back together with the Dare princess, there is no way-"
"Rachel worked so hard to get back together with Percy there's no way she would leave him willingly like this." Connor added.
"So if it's not Rachel…" Travis trailed off as realization came to everyone's face.
I didn't want to seem like some kind of weak guy, but I'll admit that my eyes were watery. Frankly, I blame it on the alcohol affecting my control on my emotions but at that moment I could barely stop my hands from shaking.
"Percy, dude, are you okay?" The concerned voice of Grover rang from my left.
"Was it something I said?" Travis asked with a trace of guilt in his voice.
"Bro, it's something you said." Connor stated.
"I say it's something both of you said." Nico shot them a look.
Unlike the fabulous Stoll brothers, Chris seems to be more curious, "So what exactly went on with- there was only a week before the wedding, there's no way Rachel would actually cancel right? Buy her some flowers or candy, it'll make her happy." Chris said trying to be helpful. I guess he probably knows about how a wife can get angry since he's with the queen of angriness herself, Clarisse, he must've gotten many ways to say that he's sorry.
I sighed, "Not going to work this time."
Chris phone gave a chirp and he quickly stood up, "I have to go now, Clarisse is craving for some ice cream." He chuckled then turned to me with a sympathetic look, "Just tell me if anything changes about the wedding."
"Yeah, wait for the headline news tomorrow of the breakup between two company collaboration because the stupid choices of a guy name Percy Jackson." I said glumly thinking of how much hate I'll probably get from Mr. Dare's 'amazing' publicity team.
Chris gave me a weak reassuring smile before he rushed off.
"Well at least now you don't have to worry about impressing Rachel's dad?" Grover tried to make me feel better. "Then again… you probably got the Dare company turned against you…"
Remind me never to ask for Grover to comfort anyone.
"That's not what I meant! I mean like… well you're still friends right?" Grover tried to amend for his slip.
"I cheated on her. You think we can be friends?" I asked him.
Connor who was apparently back from flirting with one of the girls sitting at a nearby booth spoke up, "DOUBLE SCORE FOR JACKSON!" He smiled weakly as if trying to light up the mood. "I knew I taught you well."
"Oh yeah sure man," Travis waved his brother off. "You've never had a real enough relationship to be cheating on anymore bro."
Connor just continued on grinning, "Just haven't found my perfect lady yet."
Nico shook his head at the Stolls, "Well, anyways I've got to get back to my place now." He turned his head towards me, "Perce, you need a lift? I've got something that you might find an interest in."
I raised an eyebrow at Nico, "Yeah, sure." I decided as I wobbly stood up.
I quickly placed a few bucks on the table but Pollux stopped me, "Hey it's on the house," He said with a slight smile, "It's not everyday that you guys come here." He said clearing away my glasses.
I was going to argue and pay anyways, but Nico apparently had other ideas, "Thanks Pollux," He said as he pushed me out of the bar and into the car. He started the engine before I even had the chance to buckle up, "So you and Rachel are done?"
"You don't sound very surprised." I remarked noticing his monotone voice.
"Should I be?"
"I don't know, just take me home." I grumbled not wanting to talk anymore about my situation with Rachel then I have to.
"Afraid I can't abide to that man. We have to take a little detour to my house." Nico said with a gleam in his eyes.
"Dude, your workplace is almost an hour away." I exclaimed then quickly wince as I felt my brain spinning in my head… if that's even possible. It was true, Nico's house is his workplace. He never did have a house, or any that we know of that is.
"No not workplace, house." Nico emphasized.
"When did you get a house?"
"Almost four years ago." He replied with a shrug accompanied by a sneaky smile. "It's actually right around the corner."
"How come you never told us?"
"Maybe you guys never asked?" He shot back.
"Wait isn't this the way to-"
"Yep, mine is just a fifteen minute walk from Thalia's house." Nico grinned. "But if you don't mind I'm going to head over to Thalia's a bit. You could catch up with Annabeth too, maybe she can help you with Rachel." Nico offered. "And there's actually something you should probably know about-" He began getting all serious once again.
"NO!" I quickly said suddenly thinking about what happened with Annabeth.
Nico parked his car right in front of Thalia's house and turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "Are you okay? Dude it's just Thalia's house, relax she's not going to kill you." Nico mumbled.
"Yeah, she's not going to kill me, but someone else is…" I mumbled lowly.
"What?"
I waved him off, "Just go in, I think I'll sit out here for a little bit." I told him as I tried to relax back down in my chair.
Nico studied me for a bit before opening his door, "Okay it's your choice, but before you go in… there's something I might have to tell you." He reached into his pocket to pull something out, but before he could I saw Thalia opening the door and motioning both of us in. Nico quickly put back whatever it was inside his pocket and turned to me with a weak smile, "I- uh… show it to you later Perce, come on Thalia's waving you in as well… she'll kill you if you don't… let's go in."
"But-" I hesitated and finally let out a sigh and stood up, "Sure, what have I got to lose anyways?" I followed him up the porch.
"Took you long enough." Thalia grumbled as Nico walked in.
He just simply grinned as he gave her a kiss, "Took a bit of a detour, so where's Annabeth?"
"She upstairs, don't worry she's been coped up in there for a while so she won't be coming down for another half an hour." Thalia reasoned as she pulled out a folder. "Anyways, here's what we found out so far."
I look at the papers trying to decipher this language or whatever it was, "Guys… I don't understand any other language besides English."
"It's English," Nico assured, "Long story short, your accident wasn't deliberately planned by Kronos group or any other terrorist group for that matter. It was a case of an art thief from what we gathered-"
"I told you the accident meant nothing-"
"That's not all Percy," Nico interrupted me as Thalia gave him a nod. "The initial accident was not meant for you, but there is definitely a relationship between you and the Kronos group. We have sources that say that have been tailing you or keeping tabs on what you did during your months of disappearance as a 'child terrorist'" Nico explained his eyes darting nervously from side to side.
"Seriously, people need to give a rest. Just because I was in hiding in those months, doesn't mean that I was up to anything bad." I grumbled feeling a bit inferior towards the newspaper press that made me all out like a bad kid.
"Well all we need to have is information about the other passenger and I think we should be able to peace everything together." Nico said a bit mysteriously.
I hesitated, "I don't think- I mean, the accident is my fault. I haven't officially apologized for my careless mistake that cost more than a life and-"
I didn't get to finish before I heard footsteps hurrying down and there stood Annabeth all dressed up, "Thalia I'm going to have to borrow your keys-" She stopped when her eyes landed on me, but she quickly looked away as if trying to avoid me.
Thalia looked back and forth between the two of us before answering her friend, "Okay sure, it's right on the counter." She said as she quickly covered the papers she showed me.
"I'll- uh…" Annabeth avoided my gaze. "I'll just get going then. I might get back late."
Thalia nodded, "Careful of the engine, it's been kind of iffy the entire month." Thalia told her friend as Annabeth made her way towards the door.
I hesitated for a split second before rushing out after Annabeth. "Annabeth!" I called out to her as I caught up and stopped her before she could open Thalia's truck.
Annabeth turned around, her grey eyes stared straight into mine, "Percy, let go of my hand." She said carefully, her eyes were calculative as if she wasn't sure of which strategy she should use to tell me to back off.
"Annabeth, I'm sorry about the kis- it meant nothing!" I begin trying to mend whatever relationship we had beforehand. "I was just not thinking straight and so I just kissed you…" I trailed off not really wanting to admit the real reason behind that kiss was because I actually did…
Annabeth's expression looked hurt for a while, but it quickly changed back to the stony look that made me think I had imagined it. "It meant nothing?" She said calmly in a scary angry tone. "Good it shouldn't mean anything anyways."
I wanted to punch my brains out of my head for saying something so stupid, "That's not that I meant." I tried to explain.
"Percy we meant nothing to each other, but you and Rachel-" Annabeth hesitated before continuing. "I don't want to be the cause of your break-up. Rachel's heading up towards the airport that's departing in thirty minutes." Annabeth told me. "I'll explain everything to her. Your wedding can go as planned and our kiss never happened."
"Ann-"
"Percy let go of my arm." She said her grey in her eyes were no longer happy, but instead they look almost dark and stormy.
I obeyed and let my arms drop to my side and Annabeth stared at me for a second before hurrying into Thalia's truck and driving off.
I walked back in with Nico and Thalia staring at me like I just jumped off into the ocean.
Then Thalia exploded, "YOU!" She punched me right in my face. "You kissed her didn't you?!" Thalia yelled at me.
"It's not good to eavesdrop into other's conversation." I mumbled as Nico struggled to hold his girlfriend back.
"What kind of person are you? Don't you know how confused Annabeth is right now?!" Thalia yelled at me.
I let myself drift into my own thoughts as Thalia stood standing yelling at me. Annabeth… was it possible that she had even liked me at all. She was going to Rachel to apologize. She was going to the airport to make sure our wedding could continue. She was going to the airport because she felt as if Rachel and I were meant to be. She's going to the airport because… Rachel's at the airport…. HOLY- I quickly stood up, "Nico keys!" I yelled at him.
"What?" Nico asked surprised as Thalia continued to glare at me.
"Damn it I need your keys now!" I said a bit crazy as I just took the keys right out from his hands.
"Percy wait-" Nico began as Thalia struggled to get out of Nico's grip. Nico followed me out into the street as Thalia continued fuming inside. "Percy." He stopped me before I could get in his car.
"What?!" I said trying to not sound so irritated.
"There's uhh… Thalia's going to kill me for this." He mumbled before taking out a picture from his pocket. "This is something I got from an inside connection. I don't want to go into any conclusion… but the person here that I told you about before, Pallas." I took a glimpse of the picture. "There, I looked at it, now move out of the way Nico." I warned him.
Nico shook his head grimly. "Percy take a close look at the picture… especially now that you and Annabeth…" He let that thought trailed off.
I let out a sigh of defeat and snatched the picture from his hands. There was a speck of blond hair
For a moment I was too shock to comprehend anything. "Pallas is Annabeth?" I managed out releasing my grip on Nico's car door.
"No-"
"B-but that's not possible, I mean… Annabeth is alive. She's not the other person in the other car, she just can't be!"
"Percy-" He took a deep breath and stared at me, his face grim. He quickly sneaked a glance back at Thalia's house to make sure his girlfriend isn't going to pop out of nowhere. "I can't believe I'm keeping a secret from my girlfriend."
"Nico…"
"Percy look carefully at the picture. I may not be the very best at drawing assumption, but it's pretty obvious if you give this picture a close look." Nico told me.
I stared at the picture, even though the face was not as clear… I could tell that it was Annabeth- that it was suppose to be Annabeth, yet there was a nagging feeling that told me it wasn't. "I-I didn't cause the death of Pallas. Pallas can't be-"
"Athena Chase, the mother of Annabeth Chase." Nico confirmed as he looked at me with sorrowful eyes.
I stared at him as if he dropped from another planet, "What are you talking about?" I managed. "I didn't kill Annabeth's mother." I tried to deny it as I remembered how sad Annabeth looked as she told me about her dead mother so long ago. "That person can't be-"
"Percy, I know how you feel about Annabeth-"
"I don't feel anything about Annabeth!" I yelled at him. "There's nothing between us." I quickly denied feeling more and more confused with every passing second.
Nico studied me, "I don't really know what to say, but I could try and run a few more investigations to confirm of Pallas identity." Nico offered, but I knew it was futile. It made so much sense that I'm surprised it didn't click in my mind before.
"My mom died in three years ago in a car accident."
"Well, my mom died in New York-"
"She was killed by some drunk driver."
"We never found out what caused the accident."
All those things Annabeth said to me, yet…
"Percy, Percy," Nico said as he looked at me a bit worried. "Don't worry it's not for certain yet-"
"Don't bother…" I said knowing that it's useless. I didn't know why I was so worked up with this, especially since Annabeth is related to all this. I was the one who caused her to lose the one person that she used to confide in the most. I was the one who practically killed her mother. "D-does Annabeth knows?" I asked.
"Not yet, I didn't even show this to Thalia yet." Nico admitted a bit guilty. "I didn't want to tell you, but considering what is happening between you and Annabeth…" Nico trailed off as If he wasn't sure of what to say.
I didn't even bother to argue with him this time. I let my hand drifted to the car door and opened it.
"Where are you-"
"I need to tell Annabeth about this." I said grimly.
"But-"
I thought about how she already hated me so much, she had no feelings for me at all. Considering that I pretty much caused her to feel so guilty I knew that she should deserve the chance to know what caused her mother's death. "I don't think I can hold on anymore guilt like this. I'll see her every day, I can't- there's no way that I could just look at her face every day without thinking that I was the cause of her mother's death."
"This is not a good idea…" I got into the car and started the engine but Nico stopped me, "I'll drive you there." He decided. "I don't think you're in any condition to go off in the roads anyways." He said before quickly waving to Thalia and pushing out from the driver seat.
I didn't want to waste anytime so I just agreed. I didn't know what exactly I was suppose to do with this new information I was just handed but… one thing for sure… Life was about to get a hell more complicated.
Took a bit longer to type this up then usual for some reason… well anyways, December is coming up and that's final's week! NO! and well… another special day for me! Haha thanks for those who answer that question from last time, actually I was kind of getting writer's block, and since Percy was falling for Annabeth, he needs to love her, and.. well you guys get where I'm getting at? Anyways, I've been putting off reviews for so long, I desperately promise! I'LL ANSWER THEM ON NEXT UPDATE!
HELP!Anyways no songs for this one cause I actually need songs suggestions for my English project. So my theme is "The addiction and love for someone or something can cause people to do immoral (like cruel, inhuman, evil things) actions" ….. so I have two short stories for this theme already and I just need to find something else that matches this theme. So if you guys have any song suggestions it would be helpful! Plus my playlist needs updating anyways :D
LATER! I'll try to update soon! Hopefully I can get some loving in on between Percabeth huh?
AGENT ASTRO ZOMBIE OUT!