Chapter 35: Hesitant of Letting Go

Disclaimer: Disclaimer… let's just admit we don't like each other… can't you just leave me alone already! I'll say this one more time I DON'T OWN PERCY JACKSON AT ALL! NO ONE CAN NOW THAT HE'S-…. WELL MOA CAUSED HIM TO *cries* OKAY I JUST DON'T OWN HIM OR ANYTHING PERCABETH RELATED! THE EVIL UNCLE RICK DID IT ALL!

Annabeth's POV:

Percy's a jerk, no he's worst than a jerk. He's a stupid jerk that doesn't consider anyone's feeling before kissing them. I didn't see him at all after that kiss, until Nico decided to drop over. I have to admit I was really tempted to just slap him right across the face.

However before I could even reach a decision of deciding to slap Percy or slap myself, I got a call for the last person I would ever expect a call from at this moment. So that would probably explain why I'm trying to plan in my head what to explain to Percy's fiancé about his mistake. I may have mutual attraction to Percy, but there is no way in hell that I was going to let it be my fault and Percy's careless mistake to ruin a wedding. I wasn't going to be some kind of girl that breaks up some engaged couple. My pride was way too high for that, maybe even higher then where my feeling (wherever it is) was heading.

Gee… he's going to owe me a lot of this.

"Stupid Seaweed Brain." I said as I weaved through the crowd of people with luggage hoping to get to Rachel in time to apologize.

I get that boys may be dumb and perhaps even stupid at times, but I seriously don't get what would drive Percy to kiss me, especially after he waved it off as if it's a joke. Finally I noticed a certain redhead standing just right in front of the boarding line.

"So you did come." Rachel said as she put down her luggage.

I honestly didn't really know what to say so instead I just let out an awkward laugh, "Umm… yeah?"

"You don't need to be so nervous." Rachel said as she let out a sigh.

I took a deep breath, "Well, I'm guessing since err… well…"

"I know about how Percy kissed you?" Rachel offered.

"He didn't kiss me…" I tried to explain for the sake of Percy.

"Then I'm guessing lip touching lip doesn't count as kissing?" Rachel questioned a bit sarcastically.

"T-that's not what I meant!" I quickly said.

"Well that's certainly what you are saying." Rachel countered back.

"We didn't kiss." I said again. "Percy didn't mean to kiss me."

"What do you mean he didn't mean to kiss you?" Rachel said not believing me at all.

"The person he that likes is you Rachel. The reason he even kissed me was because of the stress that he felt with the wedding. You don't understand how someone can feel stressed for the wedding, especially when they are marrying into a family like yours." I told her. "A rich family especially with a person like your dad."

"I may not agree with my parents' pressure towards the wedding, but I know Percy is not easily wavered by my parents' decision." Rachel told me.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked cautiously.

"I've known Percy for a while, and I know him well enough to know that he doesn't do stupid mistakes like kissing another person-" I shot Rachel a look. "Okay maybe he does do stupid mistake but I know he wouldn't kiss another person just a couple days before the wedding without any reason. His most prized characteristic is loyalty, but at the same time his most dangerous trait is just doing things on impulse."

"Impulse?" I questioned.

"Have you ever considered why he likes spending time with you so much?" Rachel asked me.

"Rachel, Percy wants to be with you. He really does-" I tried to tell her.

"If he wants to be with me, then explain why he would be rushing out the door just to make sure you were okay just a few minutes after proposing to me?" Rachel asked me again.

"He-" I stopped trying to connect the pieces. That time… was when Percy proposed to Rachel? "I- I didn't know- Percy didn't tell me-"

"You're wondering why I'm canceling the wedding after I tried so hard to get back together with him a while ago…" Rachel trailed off. "Percy and I, we've always been best friends, even when we were both thinking that we're crazy in love, he treated me the same as he would've with his other friends."

"You should see the way Percy talks about y-"

"You should see the way Percy looks at you." She cut me off. "He's been miserable the whole time that I left him and then I see him with you, it's no mystery that he's really happy when he's with you." Rachel said finally.

"But you can't just leave, Percy doesn't even know. He'll just be coped up with himself again-"

Rachel smiled weakly, "I don't think he'll be coped up with himself this time."

"Rachel he loves you. He was talking to me about how much he wants to marry you, how when he kissed me it was all just a big mistake." I tried to stall her from entering the plane.

Rachel tugged at her luggage, "You still don't get it do you? He would do anything for you. He treasures you above everything else in his life. He was willing to plan a quick getaway to San Francisco just for you. He felt so guilty whenever there was some fight between you guys."

"He's loyal to everyone he would-"

"Annabeth, there is the reason why I can't marry him. He doesn't love me." Rachel pointed to herself trying to not sound too hurt. "I can't marry someone that is always constantly thinking about someone else."

"He's only thinking about you though." I told her trying to get her to understand that whatever Percy said or did was all a mistake. I knew Percy was a bit impulsive, but his feelings for Rachel, how he freaked out when he kissed me. I was pretty sure that he still love Rachel.

"You don't get it do you?" Rachel finally put down her luggage for a split moment, "Percy, loves you and I'm pretty sure that you feel the same way about him. It's just because of our long history that he's hesitating."

I could've sworn that I nearly had a heart attack when she said that. It was like dropping some heavy weight on my shoulder. I didn't know what I did wrong, but I ruined a wedding by simply existing was according to Rachel's logic.

"You're both just too stubborn to admit it, but now that I'm out of the way… I think it shouldn't be a problem."

"That's not-" I began before I was interrupted by a voice behind me.

"Rachel."

I turned around and was again met with the last person I ever wanted to see. Needless to say, it was getting pretty awkward with every passing second. Whether or not Percy had heard what Rachel had just told me, I couldn't tell. His face was set as stone.

Rachel managed a weak smile at the guy standing a few feet from us, "Hey Percy, I'm guessing you found out."

"What? You're going to actually just leave without saying anything now?" Percy asked her his tone was rather hurt.

"I don't think there's anything left to say between us." Rachel told him.

Percy looked down on the floor as if ashamed, then he looked up at me with a surprised face as if he didn't expected me to be here even though I deliberately told him beforehand that I was going to the airport. "So, you're leaving?" He asked his ex- fiancé.

I stood in between them, not really sure of what to do except just listening.

"Yeah," Rachel said as she took a deep breath. "I don't think it'll work out between us, as a couple I mean."

I looked at Percy as if urging him to say something, anything just to prove to Rachel that whatever it is that drove him to kiss me was all a mistake but instead he just stared at Rachel and a look of understanding was passed between the two of them.

"You're going over to Europe again?" He asked her casually as if they didn't just break up.

"I guess you can say that." Rachel supplied.

"Alone?"

"For the time being, yes, but after Apollo finishes his work here, he'll come over and help me out with my promotion over there."Rachel answered as if they were two friends that were just catching up.

Percy sighed, "There is no second chance is there?"

Rachel frowned, "I don't think there was ever a possibility of a second chance to begin with."

Percy scratched his head as if unsure of what to say, "As friends?"

This time Rachel smiled, "We'll see, just go and chase what you've been wanting too."

Percy looked troubled like he wanted to tell Rachel something, his face etched with pain and sadness. Even though I haven't exactly understood what was happening between these two couples, I was able to tell that Percy relied his deepest secrets to Rachel. She was practically his close friend, that was why they dated, but according to Rachel, they are only as close as friends. Percy glanced over at me and quickly averted his sight back to Rachel holding out his hand as a sign of mutual agreement, "Good luck over there then."

Rachel hesitated for a second before brushing off Percy's hand and hugging him instead. She might've whispered something to him… I wasn't sure. But they quickly pulled apart with Percy blushing at whatever comment Rachel had told him. His eyes avoided me completely.

"And Annabeth?" Rachel called me out and gave me a knowing look with her eyes. "Thanks for coming out here today." She said before rolling away with her bags.

Within a few minutes she was inside the plane, leaving Percy and I out in the airport with other rushing passengers towards the last minute flight.

Before I could walk away from the silence between Percy and I, he grabbed me, forcing me to turn and face him. "Why did Rachel told you to come here?"

"I was trying to save your marriage, you're welcome." I answered sarcastically.

Percy stared at me in disbelief as a look of pain and guilt plastered across his face. ""D-did Rachel tell you anything?" He asked me.

"She just said that she can't marry you because you don't love her-"

"I want to be with Rachel…" He started sounding a bit uncertain. "But no matter what, it's not going to work out between us."

"Why didn't you tell Rachel that nothing happened?" I asked him, I wasn't even sure why I was angry… I just was.

Percy hesitated a bit and I saw his hand reaching towards his coat pocket as if it held something valuable. "But something did happen," I heard a slight mumble.

I raised an eyebrow, "What?"

Percy shook his head, "It doesn't matter." Percy said with finality. "Whatever Rachel had said to you; disregard it." He told me emotionlessly as he stuffed something into his pocket.

Now I just felt like I've been slapped across the face, that was it… on one hand Rachel told me Percy liked me, on the other hand Percy told me to ignore whatever Rachel was saying. I couldn't describe my feelings, it was like while I want Rachel and Percy to mend their relationship, at the same time I also wanted to… well I wanted to be with Percy.

"Fine, let's leave it that Rachel didn't tell me anything." I clarified his words as I stared at the ground emotionlessly. "Nothing ever matters to you does it?" I mumbled quietly.

Fine, if nothing between us is what he wants… that's exactly what he'll get.

Percy's POV:

I sat silently in the car as Annabeth drove me home. Currently I was thinking of two things: One, a list of how to kill Nico since he practically just left me here at the airport with no ride home which made me carpool with Annabeth; and two, a way to tell Annabeth about her mom. "Your mom-" I begin before Annabeth snapped at me.

"What about my mom?!"

Oh… maybe I haven't exactly explained…

I like Annabeth, and I'm pretty sure (based on Rachel's assumption) that Annabeth likes me. I was suppose to get married to Rachel but I bailed at the last second. Now Rachel is currently on the plane to Europe while I'm sitting here debating how to tell Annabeth that I was the one who caused her mother's death. Honestly I'm not really sure what exactly to explain my feelings to Annabeth… actually I'm not sure if I'm even going to explain my feelings to her, considering that I was her mother's technical killer.

I struggled to find an answer to that, "I was… I'm just wondering."

"Your wedding is ruined, your fiancé just left, and you are wondering about this?" Annabeth questioned me with a raised eyebrow. I didn't understand why, but for some reason Annabeth was more concerned about my own relationship with Rachel than I was myself… which sort of makes me feel guilty now.

"Well what exactly do you expect me to do?!" I glared at her as she slammed her foot into the brakes.

"Maybe don't go around kissing other people just a couple days before your wedding?" She glared at me back with the same intensity.

Okay… now that was just a low-blow, even if it did happened. "I told you, that was completely an accident." I tried to tell her. There was no use in telling her that I liked her, because if she finds out about her mother's death there is no telling what her reaction would be.

"Of all people, specifically Rachel…" Annabeth hesitated as a slight blush coming up to her cheeks. "Why did you- I mean What caused you to-"

"Look…" I sighed. I wanted nothing more than to tell Annabeth that there was a reason why I kissed her. "There was nothing going on when I kissed you or anything for that matter. I just kissed you well…" I knew it, that in the pits of my stomach I will regret whatever my brain was going to sprout out next, "Because I didn't want to marry Rachel, I'm just not ready for commitment yet. I'm just trying to focus on my work."

She looked like she tempted to just slap me across the face because that was the dumbest excuse I've ever come up with in my entire life. "First you told me you never meant to kiss me and wanted to be with Rachel, now you're telling me that you're not ready to get marry because you want to focus on your work?"

"Never meant to kiss you? When did I say that-" I stopped realizing my mistake only too late. I can only hope that Annabeth didn't catch anything.

"What?! So now you kissed me on purpose so you wouldn't have to get marry and I would get all the blame?" She glared at me. Well it's a good thing, she doesn't think that there's anything I'm feeling for her, but it's also a bad thing that she doesn't know my feelings for her. Damn me and my contradicting mind.

"That's not what I meant at all!"

"Then what Percy? What is wrong with you?" She mumbled as if wishing for some answer.

Honestly I couldn't answer her because I don't even know what the hell was wrong with me at the moment. I just felt like this teenage boy falling in love for the first time. Rachel was right; whatever feeling that was between Rachel and I was nothing but a simple care from one friend to another…but Annabeth.

"Rachel said there was someone else…" Annabeth began taking a deep breath.

My heart rose in panic. 'I can't let her know!' My brain told me. 'Who would want to like someone who practically killed their parent?' I asked myself. I wasn't even sure myself if I could forgive Annabeth if the situation was changed around. "There's no one else." I said hoping to sound convincing. "Even if there was someone else… it's none of your concerns." I said coldly hoping to distinct myself a bit from Annabeth.

I could feel her anger radiating towards me, "Fine, none of my concerns." Annabeth mumbled.

"I didn't mean it like that-" I began before suddenly hearing a weird hissing sound from the front of the truck.

"Save it Percy." Annabeth said coldly.

"The engin-" I tried to tell her about the noise I was hearing.

"If it's something to make me mad again don't say it!" Annabeth grumbled.

"There's a soun-"

"I SAID SAVE IT!" Annabeth said before launching a few inches forward. I look up towards the hood of the car, which had smoke coming out from inside.

"I tried to tell you." I held up my hand in surrender as Annabeth shot me a dirty look.

"Well if you hadn't been annoying me this probably wouldn't have happened." Annabeth glared at me.

"How does that even make sense?!" I snorted.

Annabeth turned off the engine and stepped out to open the hood. "You need-" She slammed the door before I could finished, "-help?" I let out a sigh and opened the car door to see what was the problem.

"The engine is overheated." Annabeth sighed.

"How do you know?"

"Common sense?" Annabeth retorted back as she fanned the smoke with her hand. "Smokes are coming up, the metal is rather hot." She cursed under her breath, "I should've known what to expect when Thalia agreed to let me use her truck so easily."

"Turns out Wise Girl is not all that wise." I grinned slightly trying to lighten up the mood.

"Don't push it." She warned me before closing the hood of the door.

"My house is down the street." I noticed.

Annabeth hesitated for a moment before shivering against the cold air of New York. "I can take a cab back to Thalia's."

"At this time?" I questioned, worried for her safety. "No way plus it's pretty rare for a cab to be passing through this area.

"Don't you have a car at your house?" Annabeth asked me.

"Well I need a car to drive to work tomorrow don't I?"

"So work is more important than letting me get back home?"

"No- that's not it- I'm just… You could stay there for the night." I said before I could stop myself.

It was so quiet, I swore I could hear the slightest noise in the night, "I'm fine." Annabeth managed in the dark night.

I mentally cursed to myself, 'What the hell am I thinking? There is no way she would be staying at my house after I just kissed her just recently' But then I also don't really want her to be driving home at this time of night alone, much less using my car and leaving me with no ride tomorrow.

"It's not a problem, I mean it's not like it's the first time you've stayed at my house." I said trying to ease the situation.

'Real smooth there… totally not awkward now.' I grumbled to myself.

"So what do we do with the truck then?" I quickly tried to amend to my apparently horrible skills of communication.

Annabeth paused for a moment before her eyes gave a shocked look, "You've got to be kidding me now." She mumbled.

"What?" I asked clearly confused as Annabeth pointed towards the sprinkle of rain coming down onto the pavement. I shrugged, "It's only a little rain, not like it's going to matt-"

Suddenly the rain began pouring down, "Way to jinx it." Annabeth grumbled as she tried to find an umbrella in Thalia's truck.

Well at least on the upside it wasn't that cold. I guess this is what people would call summer rain? Warm air, yet evil rain? Didn't my mom once say these are the type of rain that makes you the most sick?

I didn't hesitate another second before yanking Annabeth's arm and making her run all the way to the front steps of my door. By the time we arrived at my front door, I was happy to say that we were both soaking wet and let's just say the rain wasn't lifting up at all.

I didn't realize I was still holding her hands until she suddenly tensed. Needless to say, I was trying hard not to think about the fact that she didn't seem to want me to be close to her in any way.

"Sorry," She mumbled lowly as she brushed the strand of wet blond hair away from the front of her face.

"I-It's cool." I managed then quickly regained my posture as I stared out towards the heavy rain. "There is no way you're driving back in this weather." I said fiddling with my keys to open the door."The roads are too slippery," My mind flashed to a car accident.

'There was no way Annabeth is going to driving in some dangerous road at night like this.' I decided. 'Her mother died in a car accident…' I thought a bit guiltily.

Annabeth paused for a second as I finally managed to open the door, "Are you coming in? Or you're going to soak yourself until you get pneumonia?"

~PAGEBREAK~

I took my towel and hung it around my neck while Annabeth was changing in her old room. Honestly I wasn't even sure what the hell was even happening, but one thing for sure, it was still raining… and as long as I'm around, no one is driving home in the rain.

I thought about what Rachel had said when she gave me a hug.

"My last help in your love life Percy… Annabeth likes you more than a friend."

I was confused, more than a friend? What the heck is that supposed to mean?

"Just tell her you love her doofus." Rachel said before pulling away. I could feel my face heating up as I looked over at Annabeth.

Honestly I wasn't even sure of my feelings even after Rachel had deliberately stated everything out for me. Let's just say my brain is a rather complicated place to be in.

'Pallas is Annabeth's mom, Athena Chase…' I let that thought trailed in my head. To be frank, I'm still trying to find out exactly how to break this down for Annabeth. Before I could delve further into this topic, I heard a few footsteps behind me.

"Thanks for letting me stay her for the night." She said hesitantly. "Are you sure you'll be okay-"

I tried for a smile as I turned to face her, "I'm cool with it, your room was getting to be like a ghost room anyways."

"I'm really sorry about being so mad at you earlier. It's just-" Annabeth stopped as if afraid she was going to spill something.

"You have every right to be mad. I mean- I just kis-" I couldn't even say the word without feeling my face heating up. What the hell was wrong with me? Normally, I could say that word without any problem, kiss, kiss, KISS! But then as soon as Annabeth is involve in there, everything in my brain just turns to mush.

"Yeah," Annabeth said quickly. I could've sworn I saw a faint tint of pink on her cheek but I wasn't sure due to the fact most of the lights in the living room was off. "But about Rachel- are you sure you're willing to let her go this time after-"

Annabeth knew almost everything between Rachel and me because I confide everything into her. I trusted her. 'Can I let Rachel go this time? Is Rachel right? Do I-' I stopped thinking for a little bit to clear my head.

I thought about bring up my new information about Annabeth's mother, but I hesitated, I didn't want to spill anymore bad news. However that wasn't all of the reason, there was another reason why I didn't want to tell her… I was scared of losing the person that could possibly mean everything to me.

"Yeah," I managed a weak smile. Annabeth nodded as if more assured. Her back was turned to me as she quickly washed over her cup.

"But there's something else I'm still hesitant of letting go." I mumbled quietly to myself as I watched Annabeth standing a few steps in front of me.

I was scared of losing Annabeth Chase.

The calm before the storm maybe? Let's see… lots of unfortunate and fortunate things happened since I've last updated. So many shootings… Honestly… Christmas was just around the corner and bunch of innocent lives died. As much as I want to curse the guy who killed those kids… well… let's just say that guy has his own story as well, but that doesn't give him a right to kill kids. Let's see he had mental problems, stressed out with his mom's constant strictness, went crazy, grabbed her gun and killed kids… how messed up is that. I swear guys, don't let the pressure get to you, loosen up and you could save so much lives. As corny as this sounds, just go up and smile to everyone you see, based on a true story, some guy was about to commit suicide, but stopped because someone smiled at him. Yep just a simple smile guys. Just take a moment of reflection on all these past evens. I also salute to the teacher that risked her life to save her students, given the situation I don't know how many people would do that, but she did a good thing. Looking at this… I just realize how lucky I was… I mean dude… I get to celebrate Christmas with my family and the worst thing I'll probably ever face at school is risking my grade… not my life. So enjoy Christmas with your family guys!

Carry on reading if you want to hear such a heartbreaking story.
not sure if this is legit or not, but I did a few research and came up with a story (forgot where the source was… but yeah here) a kid of one of the kid that died went to the funeral and wrote the dead kid a letter saying "We play with each other everyday, and now I will miss you," Then there was a bunch of stuff I don't remember but it ended with "I'll meet you whenever I pray for you everyday." I swear… sometimes I think these kids are much better than adults or teenagers like me even. While we're just thinking about how bad shooting and guns are, the kids just look on the brighter side of things of meeting his/her friend whenever they are praying! Sorry for bringing this back up again, but honestly this is just tragic… take my advice, DON'T STRESS YOURSELF OUT! Stress can do lots of shit to you, loosen up, let go of the past. If you're sad, cry and get over it, nothing good is going to come out of a crying tantrum. Best thing to do, talk it out, If anything, just PM me guys! We're all buddies one way or another and I'm always willing to talk :DD

On the happy note, the world didn't end SO HA! WHAT NOW! NOW I CAN CONTINUE TO WAIT FOR Hoh… haha when I heard the world was ending… all I could think about was that I will never get the finish the Heroes of Olympus series XD AND OH YEAH! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! ENJOY PRESENTS! AND THAT WAS MY PRESENT TO YOU :DD

Song: Wanted- Hunter Hayes Song I'm currently listening to right now actually :DD

Agent Astro Zombie