Chapter 36: Shitty Feelings

Disclaimer: so we meet again… even throughout this New Year you still manage to find me… I DO NOT OWN PERCYJACKSON FOR WHATEVER REASON!

Percy's POV:

For the hundredth time today, I couldn't help but sneak a glance at Annabeth. It's been almost two weeks since Rachel had canceled the wedding. For some odd reason (which I'm completely grateful for) the media haven't been all that nosy into my business. All I heard from around the block was that Rachel appeared in an interview and said that we had a clean break-up and realized that we just didn't want the same thing in life.

Honestly I wasn't really sure what to say so I just kept on the down low and tried to avoid the topic of Rachel completely. As for Annabeth however, it's pretty hard, since I see her everyday and now that she's off school… she practically works by my side the whole day. Added to the fact that the secret couple have been out of town and she's staying at my house.

Of course, I have tried through many attempts to tell Annabeth the news about her mother, but every time that I tried… I failed epically.

We both never really talked about the kissed that caused Rachel to break off the wedding. I wanted to ask Annabeth about it, but she made it pretty clear that she displays no feeling for me by cutting me off whenever I tried to bring up that topic. While me on the other hand, I'm not too sure about what exactly I was feeling about Annabeth… I couldn't understand anything that my brain was telling me. Like when Annabeth hands just slightly brushed against mine, I could almost feel the desire of just clasping her hands within mine. Or maybe how I felt when she fell asleep on my shoulder in the taxi as I was taking her back home after a long day of work. Or just simpl-

"Percy," Annabeth's voice called from in front of me as she reached over her desk to grab her purse.

I snapped out of my little reevaluation and looked up from my computer.

"Are you ready to go yet? The plane arrives in an hour." Annabeth warned me.

"Plane-?" I asked before mentally cursing my brain for being so blank. "Yeah, umm… let me just grab my keys."

I probably forgot to mention how Emily Kim, my wonderful sister (mark the sarcasm) is coming in today with that first class plane ticket that I bought for her.

"I could go by myself and pick her up from the airport if you're busy-"Annabeth began before I interrupted her.

"It's cool," I tried to not sound so nervous. "Plus you don't know the way to the hotel." I added in. Truthfully I only wanted some time alone with her so I could bring up the topic about what Nico had told me. "How do you feel about second chances?" I suddenly asked her.

She turned to be a bit alarmed, "What?"

"Second chances." I repeated myself.

Annabeth looked at me for a second then a look of sympathy and guilt was written all over her face, "Why are you asking this? Do you regret letting Rachel-"

I shook my head. I was actually thinking of my unconditional involvement with Annabeth's mother. "I'm just saying… if something accidentally happened in the past-"

"Then it's all in the past." Annabeth said logically. "There's no point in delving into the past if it's going to cause everyone pain and misery."

My head shot up, "Y-you mean it?"

Annabeth studied me for a second, "You said it yourself that it was an accident, I'm pretty sure living in the past is not going to do any good."

"There's actually something you need to know… I'm not really sure how to say it but-"

Annabeth looked at me, fearful for a second, "Then don't!" She said quickly as if afraid of what I was going to say. "The best thing to do is to keep your feel- er… thoughts to yourself."

"That's no-"

"Percy, I mean it." Annabeth tried to tell me, her face looked as if she's on the verge of either punching me or crying. "I don't want to know, I think ever since I knew you all I've been trying to do is find out about your past and your thoughts. Having some of them in the dark…" She paused as if the next words were hard to get out, "it's just- probably better this way."

I don't know whether or not she knew exactly what I was thinking about or she was mistaken for something else, but all I could think was the easier step would be not to tell her. After all… she's the one who told me not to tell her right?

She stood at her desk looking over a few paper works before stuffing her cell phone inside her purse and accidentally letting some papers flying randomly around her desk.

I walked over to her desk, "I'll help you with that." I offered as I grab a few loose papers that fell on the ground.

She leaned down to pick up a piece of paper that dropped right in front of me, "It's okay I'm just a bit clumsy these-" Her head shot up and she was practically a few inches away from my face.

I caught my breath, I could've sworn that I could even hear my own heart pounding against my chest. Annabeth quickly looked down at the papers to avoid eye contact with me.

"Your papers," I said rather stupidly as I gave her the papers I picked up.

She grudgingly accepted it and placed it on her desk. Annabeth quickly sorted the papers and placed them at the corner of her desk before turning back to me, "Let's go, I'm pretty sure Emily doesn't like waiting."

If she had felt anything, she did a pretty good job of hiding it because all I feel is my head replaying the moment when her face was just barely inches from mine. "Oh- yeah, let's- yeah let's just go." I said before I could sound any more stupid than I already was.

~PAGEBREAK~

"You can be a nice brother and help Emily carry her luggage you know?" Annabeth leaned in and whispered to be as we saw Emily getting her luggage from the cart.

I was pretty sure my half-sister didn't see us yet, since she just got off and was still conversing with some other person who stood next to her. "I'm pretty sure she's okay, plus it's not like she packed a whole luggage of cloth right-?"

Annabeth nudged me and pointed to Emily's slightly big luggage. "You did say that she was to stay the whole summer…"

I grumbled, "Well… she should've known I was going to buy her new clothes-"

"Go help her." Annabeth urged me as I made my way over to my half-sister.

"I hate you…" I mumbled.

"You love me," Annabeth grinned as my head suddenly felt light-headed at her comment. Luckily she turned to Emily instead of looking at my flustered face, "Emily, I brought you a bellboy."

"Annabeth!" Emily exclaimed happily as she pulled Annabeth into a hug who happily returned it back… I couldn't help but felt jealous of the attention Emily is getting from Annabeth. They released each other from the hug and Emily saw my face, "Oh…and you." She said unenthusiastically.

"Hey I'm not happy to be here either." I held up my hand in defense.

"I just thought we might need a bellboy and taxi driver." Annabeth offered with a grin before pointing me to Emily's luggage.

I sighed and made my way over and dragged Emily's luggage out to my car.

"Seriously who told you to pack all these stuff?" I grunted as I finally manage to stack up the last bit of the luggage.

"You said pack for the whole summer." Emily pointed out.

"Exactly what I told him." Annabeth added.

"Well I guess the credit card dad gave to you is going to go to waste…" I smirked as Emily opened the car door midway and stopped.

"What did you say?" Both girls asked at the same time.

I almost laughed and held up a credit card in my hand, "Don't know how much is in there… but I've been using mine for ages and I haven't went over the limit yet." I looked at her big luggage hanging out in the back of my car, "So if you want… we could get rid of all these-"

"Don't even dare to throw even a single thing in there." Emily threatened me before she jumped in to the backseat.

I turned to Annabeth, "Is she always like this?"

Annabeth shrugged, "She's your sister."

"You knew her longer." I pointed out.

"Well she's exactly like you." Annabeth shot back.

"But-"

"Come on lovebirds!" Emily pulled down the window and called out to us. "I still need to pack remember?"

Note to self: Kill half-sister later.

~PAGEBREAK~

"You're going to be okay here by yourself?" Annabeth asked Emily as we finally got her settled into her room.

"Yeah, I got a whole room to myself, what's there to worry about?" Emily smiled as she opened up the windows. I have to admit it was a pretty nice view, I mean the top floor with a wonderful view of the New York's skyline. "So you two…" Emily studied us a bit. "Are you still under the same roof or…"

Annabeth laughed, "Nah, I moved out to Thalia's remember?" I was going to correct Annabeth and say that she's currently staying at my house, but decided against it.

"Remind me again… who's Thalia?"

"Photographer?"

"Oh her! She lives here?" Emily exclaimed.

"I've told you this before Em…" Annabeth responded as Emily shrugged her shoulders.

"You know what… I'll go get you guys some food down there… I'm guessing you didn't eat lunch yet?" I asked my half-sister, knowing that Annabeth already ate lunch with me.

"Grab me a piece of bread and I'm good." Emily said before shooing me out the doors so the two could get some catching up time.

I grumbled a few unpleasant words. To be honest, I was rather annoyed at how much attention Emily was getting from Annabeth, it was almost like Annabeth was trying to avoid me. I have argued in my head many times of whether or not I should tell Annabeth about her mother but she made it pretty clear that she wanted to hear nothing. I couldn't help but wonder if she would still say that if she actually knew what I was going to tell her.

Annabeth's POV:

"So Thalia's thinking it's inappropriate for you to live at my brother's house?" Emily suddenly asked out of the blue as soon as we finished putting in all her stuff. I almost cursed hoping Emily doesn't know that I'm staying at Percy's for the time being. Not that I didn't want to tell her, it's just… I didn't want her to jump to any conclusion.

I looked at her a bit confused, "What?"

"Since you guys are dating and whatever, the hormones does go a tad bit crazy if you leave two lovebirds in the same-"

I don't know whether my face could be called scarlet red or flamingo pink, but for sure it was way above the normal skin color. "D-dating? What are you-?"

"Gods… please don't tell me you guys are engaged… there was no damn ring on his finger this time." Emily insisted with a frown on her face.

"Em, what the hell are you talking about?! He just broke off the engagement with his girlfriend! How could you think-"

"He likes you." Emily stated out of the blue. She paused for a moment before continuing, "Or it might be that he's feeling some sort of guilt towards you…"

"What?"

"Hey, I took a psychology course back in high school, I know a little bit about reading humans." Emily defended herself.

"Em, what the hell are you saying now?"

"What I'm saying is that… the mood between you guys changed since the last time I saw you. I don't know… you seem rather weird around each other as if your relationship either took a dip or something." She explained.

"Seriously you're looking into it too much."

Emily shrugged, "What? You don't like him?"

For once I was happy that Percy was gone for a while, "I guess…? I like him, but he just got off his engagement and he told me clearly that he doesn't like me so…"

"What?"

"He doesn't like me and even if he said that he likes me, it's going to be sympathy because he thinks I'm feeling guilty for causing his wedding to go down the drain not genuine feelings." I tried to explain.

"Ever think that he broke off the wedding for you?" Emily asked not really paying much attention to the channels she's flipping through.

"Not even possible, he was crushed when the wedding was called off. Even after we kissed he was alarmed, I'm telling you it's only because he's stressed-"

"Woah stop right there!"

"What?"

Emily studied me over, shying away from me a bit, "You kissed my brother?!"

My face turned scarlet red, "I'm twenty-five, I think I can handle kissing another person without anyone else thinking that it's such a crime." I tried not to sound too flustered.

"You know that's not what I meant… Annabeth Chase doesn't go around kissing engaged men, especially those who was suppose to be her friend's half-brother."

"Technically I didn't kiss him-"

"So you kissed him back then?"

I didn't answer her snarky comeback.

Emily laughed, "So care to tell me what's been going on in your life? Are you planning on going back to California any time soon?"

I thought about my situation with Percy. To be honest, I don't really think I could stand being near him without feeling all flustered, "I'm thinking of going back to California perhaps next year…"

"And Percy?"

"He…" I turned towards her. "What do you mean 'and Percy'?"

"You know exactly what I mean." Emily insisted.

I swear, if this girl wasn't planning on pursuing as a surgeon, I would say that she's some sort of mind reading gypsy. "Percy-" Before I could finish I heard a crash from outside the door.

I quickly got up to open to the door to see Percy down on the floor with a spilled bag of food and apologizing to some stranger.

"Sorry sorry," Percy began as the stranger gave him a rather disgusting glare.

'Was he eavesdropping on us?' I asked myself.

Percy didn't seem to show any indication of knowing any information, but that was probably because he was too busy apologizing for the red stain on the stranger's white collar shirt.

Finally after getting everything settled with the spilled food, Emily finally got settled in and Percy and I were back on our way to the company.

"So you're going back to California soon?" Percy suddenly asked out of nowhere as we were driving back.

"So you were eavesdropping on me?" I questioned back with a raised eyebrow.

"No! I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I was just going to open the door then I heard and-"

"Relax Percy, I'm just kidding." I laughed softly as he seem to calm down for a moment. "But yeah, I'm thinking of taking the plane back to California by the end of this summer."

"Why? You don't like it here in New York or-" He sounded almost hurt as if he knew the reason why I was debating to go back to California was because of him.

"No, that's not it. It's just…" I hesitated, not really sure of what to say without sounding like an idiot. "Complications."

'Oh yeah…' I said to myself. 'Way to sound like an idiot.' Sometimes I feel as if my brain are only good in answering textbook question, in regards to real life… it's as dumb as a doornail.

"Just stay here in New York and finish your studies, I mean considering how well you're doing in Columbia… I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want to let you go. Added to the fact that er… I'm pretty sure Thalia would be missing you and-" Percy began to ramble when his phone suddenly rang.

"Hello?" He said into his earpiece. "Nico? What?" I shot him a look as he returned an equally confusing look. "Yeah, I mean she's with me right now. Why?"

"Is Thalia there?" I asked Percy.

Percy nodded as he continued his conversation with Nico. "Oh so now you call… you've been gone for almost a week and now you're worrying about Annabeth-" Percy turned to me, "Do you have the key to Thalia's house or did she forgot to make a spare for you?"

"She has the spare key." I answered remembering the time when Thalia made me that spare key but lost her real key on the same day so she never really did bothered making me a spare key.

"She said Thalia has the spare key… why?" Percy answered cautiously before his face turned grim. "Oh…but-" Percy looked almost frustrated as Nico continued on the other line. "Yes, I know, but she can't just stay-"

"Tell Thalia I'm breaking into her house then!" A few seconds later he suddenly flinched and I could almost hear Thalia yelling at him through the earpiece. "Who puts a spare key IN the house!? Fine, no sheesh- no! Just go on your little mission and leave us alone!" Percy exclaimed before hanging up.

"What was that about?" I asked.

Percy turned to me with a slight smile, "You mind crashing at my place for a change?"

"I'm already staying at your house…"

"Tell that to Thalia." He grinned. "After a week… then she remembers." Percy shook his head in dismay. "So how do you feel about a little movie night?"

"You can't be serious… I am not going to watch a chick flick!" Percy complained as we sat down on the couch. For a moment it felt as it has when I just moved here, everything was simple. We were just acquaintances living under the same roof.

"I never said we're watching a chick flick!" I grumbled looking through his collection of DVDs. "How does Hercules sound?"

Percy piped up, "The Disney movie?"

"You're such a kid…" I grumbled as he motioned for me to put it in.

I quickly made my way back to the couch and sat down, "You share the blanket with me, it won't be a movie night if there's no blanket involved."

"I'm good," I replied, knowing that if I was anywhere close to Percy, my face would be more red than the blanket that he was using.

"Come on," He urged sliding over to where I was. "Don't be a killjoy." Percy dragged his hand over my back and placed the blanket over my shoulder. I waited for him to remove his arm, but he never did. "You can scoot closer to me, the blanket is not that big anyways." His arm pushed me closer towards him, making no efforts to remove his hand from my shoulder… not that it wasn't comfortable or anything but…

I shook my heads of those thoughts, 'Just enjoy the night.' I told myself as I let my eyes drift towards the TV screen.

About halfway through the movie I felt Percy shift from beside me, "Annabeth?"

My mind still captivated by the fight between Hercules and the river god I replied with a simple, "Hmm?"

"You want to move back here?"

I stared at the movie but not really interpreting anything it was saying. "What?"

"I mean like…" He paused, suddenly I felt cautious of his hands on my shoulders and the beat of my heart slowly increasing. "there's extra space in my house and-"

"I can't just move in-"

"You practically live here anyways." Percy pointed out. "Plus, the room that you used is always open."

"That's not the point, I'm thinking of going back to California anyways." I told him.

His face looked almost shocked, "B-"

"I'll probably go back with Emily at the end and hopefully continue the program there in regards to architecture."

"Why don't you just stay here? It's not like it's causing me any trouble-"

"That's not it, I can't have you paying for my school fees just like that! Added to the fact that I need to learn how to pay for my own learning fees." I said as my pride got the best of me. It was true, on the ride back to Percy's house, I've given lots of thoughts on how much I've been just using off of Percy.

"You work at the company without getting paid!" Percy exclaimed. It was true, I actually pointed it out to him that if he's paying for my school fees than he shouldn't give me a salary. "You got us a big contract deal with plenty of huge cooperates to consider our company. The money you earned for the company is almost ten times the fee that I have to pay." Percy explained.

"That's part of working in the company, employees do the work and the one at head takes the money. You only paid for my fees because you thought we were siblings to begin with." I pointed out no longer paying attention to the movies.

"Can you just stop thinking like that? I'm simply being nice because I like you," Percy began as I felt the heat radiating off my face. "And plus, isn't this what friends do? Help one another?"

"Not to this extent no." I said stubbornly refusing to ask Percy for help any longer. "I'm just going to move back to California and send you monthly fees to help pay back or something-"

"Seriously can you stop with the pride thing for just a minute! It's not about the money, I just wanted to… to..." Percy said lamely.

"To what and since when did you care?" I huffed still a bit stubborn about how much he had helped me. To be frank I was not really used to the concept of someone wholeheartedly helping me.

"Cause we're friends-"

"Can you please stop being so nice?!" I said as I pushed his arms away from my shoulder letting the blanket slide to the ground. I couldn't stop myself from liking him if he keeps on acting like this!

"What's wrong with being nice to another person?"

I could tell that he was running low on the patience thing. "I don't know maybe it's sending them mixed signals?" I said before I could stop myself.

"What mixed signals?" He said rather clueless.

I swear I have never met anyone this dense before!

"I don't know! Maybe like one minute we're on friendly terms and the next acting as if you wanted nothing to do with me… and now what? Moving in together?"

"It's just a suggestion-"

"This just makes it harder to forget that I like-" I stopped myself realizing what I was about to say. "You're acting like we're family when we're obviously not!"

Okay… maybe that wasn't exactly the right thing to be blurting out, but the thing he said next wasn't exactly helping either. "Are you PMSing?"

My face flared up, and for once I wasn't sure whether it's from anger or embarrassment. "If I'm PMSing I would do much worst than this." I glared at him.

"Then fine… give me a reason of why you would want to leave New York. You told me that your family back home was shit to you and you didn't even want to pursue in the medical field in the first place-"

"I just need to get away from stuff here okay?"

"What is there to get away from?! I- Everyone practically loves you over here in New York and you have a stable job here and you're actually doing something you like."

"Maybe that's the reason, everything is too perfect, it's all just going to break apart." I mumbled thinking about what would happen if I actually did fall hard for a certain green-eyed boy, or if I failed my classes at Columbia or- the possibility are endless.

"Nothing's going to break apart, I'll promise you that. You always got me here with you." Percy tried to calm down the mood.

I pushed his hands off, "You don't know that." I was getting mad, at the affection that he shows towards me but at the same time he's pushing me away. I stood up from the couch. "I'm going to go to sleep now."

"Annabet-"

"Don't forget to turn off the movie before you sleep." I reminded him and stepped into the room that used to be mine. I sat down on the bed and was about to lie down when there was suddenly a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?"

He took the silence as a 'yes' and opened the door as I pretended to sleep under my covers.

"Oh you're asleep…" He mumbled seeming to be talking to himself. Sighing to himself, I heard his footsteps just at the right of my bed and felt a rush of warm as a blanket was pulled over my shoulders.

I felt him loom over my head, and something pressing against my forehead.

"Sometimes… I wish you were just my sister, then maybe I would be able to understand all these shitty feelings." He said so softly that I barely heard him.

With that he walked out the door.

I sat up in my bed, 'What the hell- was that?' I pressed my hand against the tingling feeling on my forehead.

'Shitty feelings? That's what he feel towards me? Shitty?' I thought back to how much of an ungrateful person I've been to him. 'Maybe it's no mistake that he thinks of his feelings for me as shitty.'

'Wait… then why did he kiss my forehead?'

So you know… break is almost over, to be completely honest I was planning on updating like hell on this during break, but then I was almost never home, always over at my grandma's and such. So of course, I decide to make it up and sleep a bit late just to update this for you guys since you guys are so damn amazing! So first HAPPY LATE NEW YEAR! Second… school starts tomorrow… third… I GOT A PIKACHU FOR MY BIRTHDAY, WHO HERE LOVES POKEMON!? Well wish me luck for tomorrow… I think my whole sleeping schedule is ruin… you guys probably know what I mean… hmm… what else? Hopefully this will be a good year for all of you guys!

The sea of monsters movie! Any thoughts? Though the first one was completely off… you guys think they could repair the damage? Especially with the change of directors as well as the postponed date to august?

Anyways, this chapter was sorta just percabeth fluff stuff? You know what I mean? So what'd you guys think though? Tell me your thoughts, I feel as if this chapter as sorta a filler sorta and Review :DD

Song: TWO SONGS FOR YOU GUYS! That Girl- David Choi and Between the Raindrops- Lifehouse and Natasha Bedingfield both are wonderful songs!

Agent Astro Zombie