Michael leaned into the warmth of the fire, staring into the depths of the licking flames, mesmerised by the ever changing effect. The fire did not know of their suffering, the fire did not know of the blood and misery and the fire did not know of Michael's turmoil, didn't know her most intimate secret. She lost herself in the flames and the ambience of the cave.

The sounds in the cave were like a soundtrack looping over and over, the crackle from the flames, Spock's even breathing, the Captain's pained grunts and laboured breathing, her own heart beating too fast. Every now and again an anguished whimper would tear her gaze from the flames. She would frown deeply and take in the Captain's miserable expression, and she would watch agony flit across his face. Thankfully the episode would only last a few seconds and after leaning into the warmth of the fire the Captain would soon settle, relaxing as well as he could given the circumstances.

When Spock and Michael had first brought the Captain into the cave he had remained unconscious, even when they had shifted him to make him comfortable near the heat source. Michael had cleaned Pike up as best she could, wiping away the blood and grime from his face with a damp towel. She had been trying to keep his temperature under control ever since, sometimes he would shiver violently and be cold to touch whilst others he felt as though he was burning hotter than the fire.

Michael tore her gaze from the flames and made her way over to Chris who was in another of his episodes, thrashing about in a pain-induced haze. Spock watched her movements carefully which Michael ignored, she already felt like she was falling apart. The last thing she wanted was for her brother to see her inner turmoil, to see how her heart was being ripped to shreds every time she caught sight of Chris' pain, to see how close she was to breaking apart. Keeping busy was the only thing that kept her heart in one piece; kept her body moving, kept the ticking tock on the Captain's life at bay.

She waited until Pike's whimpers died down and he fell under the dark veil then she got to work. Michael checked all the bandages on his chest and winced when she saw how soaked through the majority of them were. She only had a small amount of material left to work with so set about reinforcing the current load, thankful at least that the bleeding had appeared to have slowed down. Still the Captain had already lost far too much blood and she was pretty sure there was some internal organ damage, he needed proper medical attention aboard Discovery or he was going to…

Stop it! She berated herself, squeezing her eyes shut tightly to hold back tears. Chris was not going to die, he couldn't.

Michael felt her heart ache when she saw the gory wound underneath the makeshift bandages; his shoulder was a complete mess. Huge chunks of flesh and muscle had been ripped away from the joint and hung down over his chest; she couldn't imagine the kind of pain he was in. All they'd had between them was some basics from Spock's medical kit, a few painkillers that had barely taken the edge off and some emergency antibiotics to keep infection at bay for a short time.

Even if Pike survived the night with the amount of blood he had lost, his wounds would most likely succumb to infection. He was already showing signs of it with the wild changes in temperature and early signs of fever. The Captain needed real medicine and proper painkillers.

She didn't think she would ever forget his screams. Right from the moment the beast sunk it's jaws into his flesh to the cave when they had to change his bandages the first time. He had predictably thrashed and fought against their hands, delirious with pain and wanting the burning to stop. Chris couldn't hear his friends, all that existed for him was ever-lasting misery.

Michael remembered feeling tears run down her face as she fought to keep him down so Spock could get at the wounds. Mercifully Spock had managed to touch the Captain's mind with his own and Pike had stilled somewhat. Spock had blanketed the Captain's mind with as much warmth as he could muster until he could finally be at peace in his own head and fall back into unconsciousness. Since then he had been mostly quiet, sometimes muttering or shifting a little too much, lost deep in the throes of fevered dreams.

"Are we going to talk about this?" Spock was watching her carefully as she tightened several bandages.

Michael knew exactly what Spock wanted to talk about but didn't let on, this was not something she was willing to discuss and with her brother of all people. "Talk about what Spock?"

Spock didn't pull any punches. "You are in love with the Captain."

Michael was completely speechless. Hearing it out loud like that, said so casually, from her brother no less. It made it all so frighteningly real, it made her chest clench tightly, it made it difficult to breath.

"You looked into my mind." She breathed angrily, knowing she had been right earlier when Spock had looked at her.

"I knew even before I saw your mind."

"How?"

"How could I not."

Michael was sick of the verbal ping pong, she wanted a straight answer. Spock noticed Michael's anger so clarified his findings. "The way you look at him, your physical reactions when you talk about him: your heart rate increases, your pupils dilate. When he's around you retreat into your own private world."

Michael glanced from Chris' face to her brothers, was she really that transparent? Had Spock known before she had? "I never realised." Michael whispered.

"We are often blind to what others see so plainly."

Michael pulled her hands away from Chris and rested her head in them miserably; she could feel tears threatening to topple and furiously wiped them away. She did not want Spock seeing her like this.

She heard him shuffle closer. "I sensed your conflictions sister, you don't need to continue punishing yourself."

"Spock stop." Michael's voice shook lightly. She hated how her brother could see right through her.

Spock didn't stop in fact he actually moved to sit right beside her, resting his hand on her shoulder. "You deserve to be happy Michael."

Michael lifted her tear-stained face to look at her brother and saw no deceit in his expression; he was trying to help her out of the despair she kept falling into. She gulped and glanced at Chris sadly, fresh tears forming when the real harsh truth bubbled to the surface. Of course Spock saw what was troubling her most and what had been ever since she had become aware of her infatuation.

Eventually Spock broke the silence. "Christopher Pike is the best man I have ever known." Michael turned to her brother and saw the admiration that shone from his face, he watched the Captain fondly. He then turned his piercing gaze on Michael. "And you are not unworthy next to him."

Michael felt her resolve weaken and crumble completely, tears falling freely unhindered and unhidden from her brother. How could Spock see through her like this? How could he cut straight through all her insecurities and fears like this? The truth was Spock was the only one who could tell her something like that and she would believe it, Spock didn't lie just to make people feel better. Michael felt humbled that her brother had so much faith in her, more faith than she had in herself.

"You need to tell him Michael."

"How can I? Especially now when we're not even sure…"

"He is not going to die." Spock snapped and pulled his hand away from Michael displaying unusual emotion.

Michael wasn't the only one emotionally compromised by their Captain's injuries. Spock schooled his expression brutally and ran his hands over his face wearily. When he was composed he glanced at Pike forlornly, a sad gleam in his eyes. It was odd the Captain actually looked somewhat peaceful now in the firelight.

"Whatever our fates, if you do not do this you will always regret not following your heart."

Michael just about held back a sob, when did her brother get so involved like this? In matters of the heart. She purposefully kept her eyes off the Captain's face and dove for an escape, just like she always did. "If he's not going to die then what's the rush? Why now?"

Spock caught on to the attempt easily and caught her gaze fiercely. "Why not now?"

God, Michael hated verbally sparring with her brother, it never worked out well for her. She sighed sadly and looked down at Pike's face, automatically reaching out to brush away strands of hair that had fallen across his eyes. "I don't want to burden him with this." And by this she meant her undying love for her Captain.

Spock watched her quietly. "How do you know it would be a burden?"

Something in his tone made her suspicious like he knew something she didn't; still that didn't change things she knew deep down this was one-sided. "He could never reciprocate what I feel for him and I don't want this to ruin our friendship."

Spock studied her carefully then his gaze shifted back down to the Captain. "I wouldn't be so sure of that."

Before Michael could interrogate him further Spock sprang to his feet and headed out towards the mouth of the cave. "I'm going to check on our signal and get some more burning material." Then just like that he was gone, staring wistfully at his Captain once more before disappearing into the night.

Michael felt something shift under her hand and realised she was still touching the Captains face. She pulled her hand away as though she had been burned. Chris was awake and he was looking at her dazed and confused. Dammit. Spock had probably felt him waking up and had given her this chance alone, no more escape hatches no other ways out. She would have to face her feelings now.

The Captain's pain filled eyes found hers and he blinked away the fog, and when his vision focussed a small smile tugged at his lips. "Hi." He croaked quietly.

It was the most beautiful sound Michael had ever heard and she resisted the urge to cry. "Hi." She managed back.

Michael gave him a moment as he got his bearings and glanced round the cave, wincing badly as he shifted his shoulder. He eyed it and the amount of blood he was soaked in with disgust. Suddenly he seemed to remember something and panicked as he looked round the room and couldn't find what he was looking for.

"Spock?!" He even tried to sit up which was not a good idea in his state.

Michael gripped him gently and held him down. "He's fine. Just collecting more fire wood." Michael reassured him.

The Captain's brow furrowed as he took in the words but he eventually relaxed when she again promised that Spock was just fine. Pike then noticed the fire and leant into the warmth and comfort it provided, he watched the flames dance for a few moments in contemplation. "What happened?"

Michael hadn't expected memory loss but she supposed Pike had been delirious for some time. "You don't remember."

"Flashes." He admitted finally, wincing as he shifted and his wounds flared.

"You tackled a vicious monster, and saved my life." Michael caught his attention and gripped his hand tightly. "Thank you."

"Anytime." He casually replied, smiling and squeezing her hand right back. Michael wanted to hit him because of how flippant he sounded. This was his life they were talking about here, it was precious. She let it go when she saw a wave of agony cross his face he had suffered enough.

Michael glanced round the cave and his eyes followed. "We had to find shelter; this place was relatively close by and Spock has built a signal outside to ward off predators and hopefully guide Discovery."

Pike nodded thoughtfully, although his eyes had a faraway look about them like he wasn't really following everything 100%. "Our equipment?"

Michael shook her head sadly. Spock had attempted his plan of tying them all together but to no avail. "Sorry Sir, for the mean time we're stuck down here."

Pike groaned audibly and held his side with one hand, clenching Michael's with the other. Michael held him as he rode through waves of agony wishing she could take his pain away. Eventually he stilled again and looked up at her, frowning when he noticed the tears that were escaping against her permission.

He blearily reached up to her face and wiped away her tears gently; she leaned into the touch automatically and revelled in the softness and warmth of his hands.

"What's wrong?" He asked concerned only for her even though he was the one laying on the ground with holes gouged out of him.

Michael laughed and sobbed at the same time. "You're laying here like this and you ask me that?"

Chris sobered. "How bad is it?"

Michael swallowed deeply and glanced at the blood soaked bandages she and Spock had administered, the bleeding had slowed but he had already lost too much. If Discovery didn't show up soon then they were in big trouble. "You've lost a lot of blood." Michael answered honestly.

Her expression must have said so much more because Chris seemed to accept something then. "No wonder I feel like death warmed up." He muttered darkly attempting a smile before giving up when a flash of fear crossed his face. "Honestly I can't feel much of anything."

Michael was stuck between laughing and crying. The numb feeling he was describing was not a good sign; his body was shutting down. She took his hand in hers and brushed it against her lips wanting to feel warmth there.

Pike gripped her hand weakly. "Hey, this isn't your fault."

Michael shook her head disagreeing. "The monster attacked me, if I had…"

Pike sent her a warning look. "It was my choice Michael." His gaze softened and he stroked her hand. "One I would make again in a heartbeat."

Michael marvelled at the strength he was displaying, how could he be so strong like this with the state he was in, the agony he was in? It emboldened her and with Spock's words of advice swirling round her mind she dived in.

"I'm not sure if this is the right time. I don't think there's ever going to be a right time." She chuckled nervously and looked at him to make sure she had his full attention. "But I need to get this off my chest, incase we don't..."

She choked back a sob and leaned into him closer, wanting to feel his warmth against her chest. She couldn't finish that sentence even if she wanted to. It was too heartbreaking too even contemplate so she didn't; she firmly stuck to what she wanted to say.

Michael closed her eyes took a deep breath then looked into his crystal blue eyes and poured her heart out. "Ever since you came aboard Discovery everyone has admired you. The way you put duty and honour before anything else, your sacrifice, your compassion, your abiding love for life. You've shown us what it's like to serve with honour, what we can all aspire towards."

She almost stopped there when she saw what effect her words were having on him, he looked like he was about to burst into tears. But she ploughed on, she'd already started this and Spock was right. She'd regret it forever if she didn't get this off her chest.

"What I'm trying to say is you're a great man, the best Captain and we all love you." She gulped then threw herself into the confession. "I love you."

There the words were said out loud. Her most dangerous secret out in the open for judgement. It was funny how easy it had been to say in the end, how natural it had felt saying it to his face. Michael watched his expression silently and saw when it landed, what she truly meant landed. His eyes widened and he mimed an oh, shocked that she had gone there.

Michael wasn't sure what reaction she had been expecting but she certainly hadn't expected him to smile, nor to grin brighter than a pulsar star. He took her hand in his brought it up to his lips and kissed it, his soft lips lingering there for a few moments. He looked into her face and Michael started at how different he looked, she wasn't great with emotions but he seemed happy.

"Thank you Michael." He croaked in a gravelly tone, thick with emotion. He frowned a little then shook the expression away.

"I." Whatever he was trying to say he was struggling with, Michael waited patiently on tenter hooks. He opened his eyes again and she saw tears forming there. "I love you too."

Of all the words to tumble from his lips Michael had not expected that, not expected her feelings to be reciprocated like this. Her forehead creased in confusion and her mouth felt drier than Vulcan in peak summer, eventually she managed to form words. "How long?"

Pike smiled softly. "Too long."

Michael almost burst out laughing, she would have done if it weren't for the serious situation. They had both kept schtum for so long but now it was out in the open. It had only taken this to get here, God why had they left it until now?

"I wish it hadn't taken this to get here." Michael admitted wistfully, staring down at his wounds.

He tracked her tears with his eyes. "Me too."

Chris suddenly gripped her hand tightly and his muscles spasmed, and he groaned loudly as his insides twisted and burned. Eventually the attack subsided and his breathing returned to normal, although a fresh sheen of sweat peppered his skin.

Michael took the damp cloth and wiped away the muck and blood, feeling tears fall freely from her face again. "I don't think I can watch you die." She confessed barely above a whisper.

Chris caught it anyway and she watched a shiver run through him. Then he did the impossible and comforted her, he was dying and still thinking of others. It only made her love him more and made this entire moment that much more difficult.

Suddenly he had a bright idea, his eyes lighting up with a familiar look. Michael watched him inquisitively noticing the way his eyes wandered to her lips.

"Kiss me." He commanded, raw with emotion, want, and desire. Michael clocked his pupils darken and felt his heart race beneath her. She stuttered and thought for a moment her mind was playing tricks on her, surely Chris, her Captain had not just asked that.

He saw her confusion and added a plea. "Please."

She sobered when she realised this was what he wanted most in his final hours, his dying request. The thought made her want to tear her own heart out. She couldn't do this. "You're not going to die." She spoke resolutely, realising how much she must have sounded like Spock.

Chris smiled playfully, a twinkle in his eye. "Then this wont be our last kiss."

Michael snorted and looked up to the ceiling with disbelief. Even now like this he could spar with the best of them. She glanced down at him sadly and saw his expression sober. "Michael if I'm going to die, I want to live first."

That broke her into pieces and she knew there and then she would do anything for him in this moment, to honour his request as it could be his final one. The plea was so desperate and visceral she couldn't ignore it.

"Okay." She breathed, not believing that she was about to do this.

She saw his face relax and stared at his lips, wondering how they would feel on her own. Knowing he couldn't lift himself up Michael leant down to him, slowly, excruciatingly slowly. She stopped just shy of his lips and held there; staring into his eyes and simply breathing with him. She could see such pain in those depths, but she could also see desire and knew her pupils would mirror his.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked one last time, giving him the opportunity to let them both off the hook.

He never took his eyes off her and answered immediately. "Yes."

That was all she needed. Michael descended on his lips with unbounded passion, hot and fast. Crashing into him like a water dam collapsing. She thought belatedly that maybe she was going too fast that maybe she was hurting him. But he was right there with her leaning up to take her mouth in a lightening fiery kiss; his hand coming up to pull her in closer at the nape of her neck.

Michael moaned into his mouth feeling her tears and his melding together in their incandescent fit of lust. Her hand came to rest in his hair raking through it just like she had in her dreams. Reality in comparison was so indescribable that it almost felt like it should be a dream.

They both got drunk on each other instantly chasing each others tongues like two swirling tornadoes; crashing into each other again and again with unfettered desire and passion. Michael heard him gasp and chased the sound, latching onto his moan of pleasure and swallowing it within her own mouth. They could have been in this moment for eternity and neither would have noticed.

Sadly though all good things eventually had to end. Michael pulled away first, breathless and shaking. She opened her eyes and stared at Chris who was also struggling to breath; she felt a little guilty because he hadn't been able to breathe well in the first place.

They stared into each others eyes for some time and let their racing hearts crash down to normality, both panting from exhaustion. Michael stroked his hair, Chris caressed her face. They were intimate, happy, connected.

Which was of course when everything went to hell. Michael noticed something was seriously wrong when Chris' eyes started dropping and she noticed his face loose all colour. She leapt upright and yelled for Spock, pressing the bandages against his wounds again. He barely even flinched which was another worrying sign.

She screamed for Spock again but heard nothing come back from the entrance of the cave; panic filled her as Chris closed his eyes. Michael slapped him across the face until his eyes blinked open. "Stay with me Captain." She screamed hysterically, desperately trying to hold his body together with her own.

Michael yelled for her brother until her voice was raw. She pressed the shoulder wound like it would push the blood back into Chris's body. All the while he stared up at her with bruised lips and the flicker of a smile on his face. She kept thinking back to that beautiful moment they had shared and couldn't help but remember how final it had felt, like it was a goodbye. But no she wouldn't let it be.

When his eyes dropped dangerously again she got angry. "Don't you dare Chris, that is not going to be our last kiss. Do you hear me?"

He just grinned in return and then his face was overcome with pain, his eyes closing tightly to ride it out. When he opened them again Michael almost sobbed as she saw how grey his eyes looked, like he was just barely handing on.

Chris reached out a hand to touch her face. "Hold that thought…"

Michael cried out to the stars as his hand dropped to his side becoming limp, and his eyes closed shut.

A/N - So the big confession, and of course more hurt/comfort drama :D

There will be one more chapter so don't worry this isn't the end