Mirror – Chapter 9

Michonne was about to begin preparing for lunch when her phone rang. She recognized the number as from the CVOC Centre and wondered who could be calling her from there. It has been just over a week since their last meeting.

It was overwhelming for her but she did feel somewhat better that she wasn't alone. She has always known that she wasn't the only parent to lose a child but seeing a group of them in one place, expressing and sharing their pain was surprisingly therapeutic.

Rick wanted her to share her story but she wasn't quite ready to do that as yet. It was too soon…too soon to expose herself to people she had just met. She answered the phone cautiously.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Michonne?"

"Yes."

"It's me…Rick."

"Oh. Hi. How are you?"

"I am fine. I was just calling to check up on you. How are you?"

"I'm ok."

"I hope your first meeting wasn't too heavy for you."

"I will admit…it was very intense. So much emotions jammed into one room. I'm not use to that. Just accustomed to me crying all alone…by myself."

Rick didn't know what to say to Michonne's words. Hearing her say that she had adapted to being alone in her pain without a shoulder to cry on unnerved him.

"For what it's worth, you handled your first day well. Better than most people I have seen for a long time."

Michonne chuckled.

"Thanks."

"Are you coming for the next meeting?"

"Yes. I would like too."

"Would you be sharing your story with us?"

Michonne paused before speaking.

"I don't know. I don't think I'm ready to."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why did you run the first time you came?"

"Truthfully, I was afraid. I was afraid of coming here and getting disappointed again. There are people out there who are supposed to help you and they don't. They say that they will infront of your face and then laugh at you behind your back. Some people claim to want to help you and then disappear on you when you need them the most. The only person I could rely on is me."

"If you feel that way, why did you come back?"

Michonne remained mum on Rick's question.

"Michonne?"

"I took some pills, filled the bathtub with water and got in."

"You tried to kill yourself?!"

"I was at my lowest point in my life Rick. I decided to let fate determine what happens next."

Michonne heard stark silence on the other end of the phone.

"Rick?"

"I'm here." He muttered.

"Let's put it this way…if I had succeeded all my pain would have ended. If not then I vowed to keep on fighting for Cayla whether she's dead or alive."

"Cayla? Is that your daughter's name?"

"Yes."

"It's a beautiful name."

"Thank you. Randy hated it. He wanted to name her Abigail."

"Who's Randy?"

My husband. Sorry…ex-husband and Cayla's father."

Rick said nothing. He had initially planned to read the form she had filled out but got distracted by Jessie and he never got around to actually reading it again. However, he was glad it worked out like that. He preferred talking to Michonne directly, getting to know her.

"How old was Cayla when…?"

Michonne didn't wait for him to finish the sentence.

"Five. She turned 9 5 months ago." She paused. "Enough about me and my grief. Tell me about you. What's your story?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything."

"Well like you, I'm divorced."

"Go on."

"Also like you as you already know, I lost a child."

"Boy or a girl?'

"A boy. His name was Carl."

Michonne's mind flashed back to the article that she had briefly skimmed through before the meeting when Rick startled her. It mentioned three children with no survivors. She was tempted to ask him about the other children but decided against it.

"I'm sorry for your loss Rick."

"Thanks."

Suddenly Rick's doorbell rang.

"Can you hold on for a minute. Someone's at the door."

"Sure."

Michonne heard when Rick walked to the door and answered it. Then she heard a female voice. She was asking for his help.

"Hey. I'm sorry but I have to go. My next door neighbour is asking for my help."

"That's ok. Thanks for checking up on me."

"I will be calling on you again if that's ok with you."

"I really appreciate that."

With that Rick was gone.~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Michonne was just stepping out to go to the grocery store when the postman Larry walked up her driveway. She saw the look on his face and she knew what that meant. He handed her the small brown envelope.

Michonne smiled weakly at him and went back inside. Once safely behind closed doors, she opened the envelope and its contents gave her a little bit more hope. In addition to the address it had an article of clothing…torn piece of a dirty pink blouse.

She couldn't tell if it was the same clothing that Cayla was wearing when she was taken but she was wearing pink. She exhaled slowly and reached for her phone to call Officer Walsh. Then she remembered what he and the other officers said. They didn't want to be here and she wasn't going to beg them. Instead she dialled Rick's number.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Rick heard the tremor in her voice.

"Are you ok" What's wrong?"

"Can you meet me? Please?"

"Yes. I can. Where and when."~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was around 4 pm when Rick drove up into the parking lot of Westside Supermarket. Michonne was standing outside the grocery with her thick jacket pulled tightly over her. He parked and rushed up to her. Before he could speak, she pushed the envelope at him.

"Can you take me here?"

Rick read the note.

Vikings Trace

St Andrews County

First empty lot on the right

Eastern side

"What's here?"

"Could be my daughter."~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was 5:30pm when Rick and Michonne turned down into Vikings Trace in St Andrews County. Straight ahead, they saw two police cruisers and four officers. They were dressed in plain clothes. Michonne immediately recognized one of the officers. It was Shane. She jumped out of the car and rushed furiously towards him. Rick called out after her.

"Michonne!"~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Shane raised his head just in time to see Michonne coming angrily towards him with another man following close behind.

"F*ck!" he muttered under his breath.~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"What are you doing here?!"

The officers stopped digging and looked from Shane to the woman and then back to him again. Michonne finally reached to where they were standing.

"What are you doing here?!"

Michonne's voice was almost in a high pitch.

"Ms Moore. I am here on a tip concerning your daughter."

She was taken aback abit and looked at him. Her eyes narrowed when he pulled out an envelope just like Michonne's. She stared down at it bewildered. A note was never sent to anyone else before. It only came to her and her alone. Then rage washed over her once again. She grabbed it out of her hands. Rick was by her side.

"What's going on here?"

Michonne ignored Rick focusing all her energies on Shane.

"This still doesn't explain why you are here!"

"I just…"

"You said that you didn't want to be apart of this anymore! You said that it was a waste of time looking for Cayla!" Rick looked at Shane who went red with embarrassment.

"Ms Moore…what you heard was taken out of context!"

Whack.

Michonne slapped Shane hard across his face. Rick stood there…stunned. From the corner of his eyes Shane saw one of the officers took a step towards them. He held out one hand to stop him while using the other to rub his burning cheeks.

"I may be grieving but that doesn't mean I'm an idiot! I know exactly what I heard. You said I was a lost cause! Dr Fredericks said that I was a burden on already limited state resources that could be put to better use! YOU SAID I WAS A BURDEN ON YOU!"

It was Rick's turn to address the already fragile situation.

"Did you really say those things?! To a grieving mother searching for her child?!"

Michonne corrected him.

"No Rick! He didn't say it to me! He didn't have the courtesy to even do that...tell me to my face! He said it to his colleagues. They just didn't count on me hearing them."

Michonne walked up to him.

"You have know idea how I felt hearing you say those things…what it did to me."

Shane said nothing only to nod at the officers to start digging. Michonne walked off on Shane and over to where the other officers were. They glanced up briefly and continued digging.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

For the umpteenth time Rick looked over at Michonne who was sitting in his car. He managed to convince her to stay there and he will call her if anything is found. They were only digging for half an hour when they unearth the skeletal remains of a small child. The bones were clad in a pink garment. Shane and Rick looked at each other and then over at Michonne.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Michonne opened her eyes just in time to see Rick walking over to her. She got out of the car and when she saw his face she knew they found something. She looked over at Shane who was merely standing there sombre. She looked back at Rick.

"They found something…didn't they?!"

Rick opened his mouth to answer but no words came out.

"Is it human? Is it a child?!"

"Yes." He finally managed to whisper out.

Michonne began clutching her chest and hyperventilating. She had barely stumbled past him stumbled when Rick reached out to stop her from going to the grave site.

"Michonne don't!"

She opened her mouth to call Cayla's name but the only thing that came out was a strangled sound. She felt herself being grabbed her from behind and spun around. Rick pulled her against his warm body and held her there tightly.

She tried to push him off as she silently fought against him trying to stop her from going to the grave. Rick held her head steadily against his chest, hearing his strong, firm heartbeat. That broke her.

If this was Cayla's grave then she will never hear the sound of her heartbeat like when she used to when they played doctor and patient. It was Cayla's favourite game as she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up. Michonne's high pitch pain filled shriek pierced the air. It was the last thing she remembered.~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was the chatter around her that woke Michonne up. She slowly opened her eyes and realized that she was in a lit room…a very familiar place. Adjusting her eyesight she saw that it was Rick, Shane and Dr Fredericks. Slowly rising to her feet she walked over. Rick stepped aside reveal the bones behinds him. Michonne huffed.

"Is…" She closed her eyes to compose herself. "Is it…." She just couldn't finish the sentence.

"It is human and female but it isn't Cayla." Dr Fredericks said solemnly. "I ran her DNA through the national missing persons' database. This is Gabriella Laskie. She was abducted three months before your daughter." Dr Fredericks said.

Michonne closed her eyes.

"Ok." She said quietly.

"Her parents have been called in."

"Ok."

"I am so sorry Ms Moore." Shane said.

"Why?" she asked coldly. "It's not like you care."

Michonne turned to Rick.

"Take me home…please."

When Michonne turned around, a couple was standing there. No-one said anything for a few of minutes. It was clear the couple was nervous.

"Hi." The man said. "I'm Paul and this is my wife Evette. We were asked to come down here. We were told that our little girl was found."

From the look on Evette's face, everyone could tell that she had been crying on their way over. The couple was holding hands as they walked towards Michonne and the others. When they reached to Michonne, Evette spoke.

"Was it you who got the note on where Gabi was?"

Michonne nodded. Paul and Evette hugged her, both in tears.

"Oh God! Thank you for finding her! Thank you! We can finally have peace!"

Michonne hugged them and when they finally parted, they noticed she was distraught.

"Are you ok?"

Michonne smiled weakly.

"I'm just glad Gabriella can be at peace at her final resting place."

Michonne walked out of the room with all eyes on her.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After talking to Paul and Evette and inviting them to come to the CVOC meetings Rick went outside to find Michonne. He began to panic when he didn't see her by the car. He rushed over to it and was walking around to the other side when he heard her voice. What he saw shattered him. Michonne was on her knees with her eyes closed. She was praying.

"Oh God! Why is this happening to me?! What did I do to deserve this? Why have you forsaken me?! Everyone is gone! My life is empty! Randy left me in the greatest hour of need! The police have given up hope on me. I am happy for Paul and Evette but I am still sad. When will my Cayla be returned to me? I have given up! I can't do this anymore! I have no more hope or fight left in me! I feel Cayla's presence less and less! Please…I will accept anything! If she is dead just give me her body so I can give her a proper resting place! Please God! Have mercy on me. I beg you!"

He took a few steps behind Michonne causing her to become alarmed. She looked up at him.

"I'm so tired Rick. I can't do this anymore."

Rick felt a huge lump rise up in his throat. No words of comfort he could say to her will make this better as the only things that will soothe her pain in the return on Cayla. The only thing he could do is to sit down besides her, leaning against the side of the car. Michonne followed suit and Rick pulled her in into him, her head resting on his shoulder.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~