Chapter One-Hundred and Eighty-Seven
Amelia glared at her reflection in her mirror, pulling on her curly brown hair as she huffed. "Why does he love that stupid baby so much?" She asked, turning to look at Chance and her kitten who she'd named Pop Tart. "She can't even talk." She sat on her bed, touching the freckles on her cheeks and thinking about how Johanna's was so fair. "Maybe he doesn't like my freckles." She remembered how Johanna's hair was so short and straight. "Or my hair." She picked up a pair of safety scissors, pulling on a lock of her long flowing hair and slipping it off. "If it's short maybe he'll like me again."
John knocked on Amelia's door, stuffing his hand into his pocket as he waited for her to let him inside. "Hey, Squirt?" He asked, listening to her tape that they'd made played on her little stereo. "Can I come in?"
"Go away." She snapped, looking at her reflection with distain as she saw her hack job of a haircut.
John's brow furrowed, knowing that something was up. He opened her door, freezing as he looked at the beautiful brown curls on her floor and the short choppy cut of her hair. "What the fuck did you do?" He asked, rushing to her side and holding her shoulders in his hands as he looked at her hair. "Amelia? Why did you do this?" He combed his fingers into her cropped hair, looking into her eyes as tears made them glimmer like jewels.
"You love that dumb baby more than me." She sniffled, wiping her nose on her sleeve.
John shook his head, picking the child up and sitting on her bed. "Why do you think that?" He asked, picking up the scissors to try and clean up the hack job Amelia had done on herself.
"You always spend more time with her when she's here. And you called her Princess." She wiped her eyes with her palms, listening to John trim her hair up. "You're always at her house. And the only time you're here is when I'm asleep."
John snipped a chunk of her hair to the right length, pressing his lips into a thin line as he looked at her ruined curls. "Squirt, I love you and Johanna the same. I don't play favorites." He heaved a sigh, cutting another chunk of hair at the nape of her neck. "It's just that Johanna is a baby. She needs more attention right now." He placed a finger under her chin, tilting her head to look at him. "Just because I take care of her when I can, doesn't mean I don't love you. But she is my godchild, and I'm the one who helped her be born." He kissed her head wiping a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "You're my little sister Amelia. I will always love you. That's what brothers do. We love our little sisters, but we can't let our entire worlds revolve around them. There are other people who need our love." He took a breath, closing his eyes as he thought of a way to tell her this. "Princess, one day, Claire and I are going to have our own kids. We're going to move out and get our own place. We're not going to have a lot of time for everyone. Babies… they're a lot of work. And we're not gonna be able to be here all the time." He paused for a moment. "Sweetheart, when I was a baby, I didn't get a lot of love. I don't want Johanna to ever feel that way. But I don't want you to feel that way either, understand?"
She nodded, sniffling as he returned to trimming up her hair. "Do you still love me?"
"Of course, I do!" He turned her head to look in her mirror, smiling at the reflection of them. "Look at you." He touched her freckled cheeks. "You've got stars on your skin, sapphires for eyes, the cutest Goddamn nose I've ever seen." He kissed her cheek, combing her hair back with his fingers. "I will always love you, Princess. Nothing could make me stop loving you." He placed his hand over her heart. "You're the reason I know how to love. And I promise you, that nothing can steal my love from you."