Chapter One-Hundred and Ninety
Claire nestled into John's shoulder, watching the sunset from their little spot. She sipped on her glass of non-alcoholic wine, tracing her fingers over John's bare chest. "This is perfect." She breathed, listening to his heart deep in his chest.
He nodded, kissing her forehead as he focused on her shoulder pressed into his side. "More perfect than I ever thought possible."
She looked at his pile of clothing, noticing that his notebook was sitting on the top of the pile. "Have you written anything new?"
"Huh?" He asked, his eyes looking into hers as they changed with the sky. "Oh. Yeah, I… wrote some stuff while I was in rehab." He reached for the book, handing it to Claire before he settled back into his previous position. "It's just a bunch of shit that I came up with when I was detoxing."
She traced her hands over his neat penmanship, drinking in the words that bared his soul to her.
The Gray Zone
I hear the gravel beneath my shoes
I haven't seen the sun in days, just
an endless gray fog. Am I on stable
ground? Or am I headed toward a cliff?
I hear laughter, both close and from further
away. A war rages for my sanity. Demons claws
hold temptation while angel wings hold salvation.
Somehow I know I need to reach a safe place.
Demons laugh like they've won, and I've made my choice.
I reach out to feel empty air. I dropped to my knees and
feel solid ground. I hold one image in my mind. It's the first
light I've seen in this place. I listen. All I hear is silence.
Blessed peace. I lay down and close my eyes. My choice
has been made. Tomorrow I begin a new path and I'll leave
the grey zone. The scars of broken trust and wrong choices
serve as reminders as I hope reap the benefits of unconditional love.
Claire turned the page, noticing that this one was written in red ink, as if he had been trying to show that he'd felt he needed to write this one in something like blood.
Twisted Reality / Clean Slate
I pull my coat further closed
as the veil of fog parts revealing
a cloaked figure hovers near a mirror.
As I move closer, he turns.
"Who are you?" I ask. Silence.
He picks up a box and pulls a
key from his robes. The click
sounds ominous in the quiet room.
Every rotten smell imaginable burns
my nostrils. My eyes water and I sink
to my knees. "Why?" I ask.
The figure removes his hood...
I'm looking at my own face.
Yet there's something wrong.
I see dirt, slime and the pallor of death
evident on the doppelgänger's skin
I'm at a crossroads. I have choices to make.
I need to start talking. I need to exorcise my
demons. Claws reach out from the fog. My double
opens a door and I step towards my clean slate
She touched his cheek, knowing that this was the one he'd written after he'd first discovered that there were two Johns'. There was the John that they all loved and cherished, then… there was the other John. The John they all feared, the John who would one day be so desperate for a high that he would kill himself. The John who became dangerous and cruel. The John whose face did not match his actions.
So this chapter isn't all my own work! Thank you HMG2000 for letting me use these poems!