Aragorn

Fierce joy burned in Aragorn's chest. Legolas was fighting. He hadn't given up. Even better, the prince was learning not to isolate himself. Centuries of practice would be hard to break, but this was a first step, and it gave him hope.

He was almost as tired as he was sure Legolas was. He'd spoken the truth. He'd fought with his friend at his side, and the battle had exhausted him, but there was something he had to do before he could sleep. Aragorn had forgotten Thranduil's ingenious cords before, but he remembered now, and he rang for Elrond.

Several minutes later, his Ada quietly entered, bearing a tray of grapes.

"No," Aragorn said at once. "Not now, Ada, please, he's exhausted. I promised him I'd ask you to mix him a potion before he had to eat."

Elrond looked reluctant to delay the meal that Legolas obviously needed, especially after losing so much blood. Aragorn quickly continued. "He wants to die, Ada. That's what happened in the tree. He wasn't delirious from blood loss as you thought. He was trying to get away from me, so that he could fall to his death."

Elrond paled, and Aragorn hurried on. "He's a bit better now, but still, he should have some of your cures before he has to try to eat."

"Of course. I will begin mixing it at once. Thank you, Estel, for all you have done."

"You don't need to thank me. I'd do anything for him."

"I know, ion nin. Thranduil has been throwing a fit, demanding to see his son. I've kept him out so far, managing to persuade that it's best for Legolas to give him some time alone with you, but he won't be denied long. I think it's best if I send him in now."

"As long as he doesn't wake Legolas."

"He will be content to watch him sleep, I am sure."

"Ada, before he comes in, tell him that he might have to leave when Legolas wakes up, even if only temporarily. I never know how he'll be when he wakes. If I tell Thranduil to leave us, he needs to do so and come back once I have Legolas calm."

Elrond smiled. "Thran has never been good at taking orders, but for his son's sake, he will do so. I will convince him, of that you have my word."

"Thank you, Ada."

Elrond kissed him on the forehead before hurrying out. Not long after, Thranduil tiptoed in. "How is he, Estel?"

"Resting comfortably. I assume Ada has told you everything?"

"Yes. Not in detail – he said the details are for Legolas to reveal to me himself if he wishes to – but enough. I don't know what to do for him."

"We are all doing everything we can. I think he will get better, hir nin, I really do. It'll take time and work, but we won't give up on him."

"I know you won't, Estel." Thranduil's eyes softened. "Sleep, penneth. I can see you need it. I will watch over the both of you."

"You may need to protect me from Elladan and Elrohir," he mumbled, already half asleep. "When they find out what happened in the woods, they're going to want revenge. Legolas doesn't know – don't tell him. It's bad enough for him without knowing that we had to fight off spiders while extracting him when he was unconscious."

"I had no intentions of doing so. And as for the twins, you are right, they are by no small means annoyed that their little brother risked himself against the darkness of Greenwood without them. I have already caught them in your chambers – not that you use them, but your clothes are still there – with a large quantity of honey and feathers. I am sure you can imagine better than me what they intended to do with them."

Aragorn started to sit up in alarm, but Thranduil gestured him down. "Do not worry. The honey and feathers have been confiscated. Elrond insisted I hand them over to him. I suspect that the twins may find themselves in an unfortunate encounter of their own, soon."

It wasn't often that Ada turned the twins own pranks back on them, but those few times it had happened in Aragorn's lifetime were shining memories that he treasured, particularly the one that ended with not only Elrohir's hair, but Elrohir's horse dyed bright pink. It wouldn't come out for months. Ada had refused to let him ride a different horse, even when he travelled all the way to Lothlorien to escort Arwen home. It had been priceless.

"Rest assured, they will be too busy to harass you for the time being. And if not, I am here. You can slumber in peace."

That had him laughing. "Thanks, Thran." The casual nickname slipped out in his strange state of half-sleep, half clinging to wakefulness.

The king looked momentarily surprised, but smiled indulgently. "Sleep, Estel."

Aragorn did. He slept deeply and long, though he never let go of Legolas, ever attuned to his friend, even in sleep. At some point, he was vaguely aware of voices, but they weren't urgent, so he simply nuzzled deeper into Legolas, knowing that when the prince awoke, he would too.

He was woken by the twins entering. Aragorn's eyes snapped open, awaiting his brothers' wrath, but to his relief, they were smiling. He quickly scanned them for any signs of an upcoming prank.

"Don't worry, I had them searched for feathers." Thranduil was still sitting in a chair next to the bed.

"No fair, Estel," Elladan complained. "You can't have the king of Greenwood as an ally."

"It's entirely unjust," Elrohir agreed. "Not only does he have the entire Greenwood guard at his disposal, but we can't even revenge prank him, or he'd have our heads on pikes."

"Too right I would." Thranduil managed to hide his smile from the twins, but Aragorn caught it. "You two have a thing or two to learn from your Ada. El had to operate under the same restrictions, but our prank wars when we were younger were legendary."

Aragorn's eyes widened. That, he hadn't known. The next time he was alone with Ada, he was going to demand stories.

The twins sat down on the other side of the bed, their eyes on Legolas, who was still sleeping peacefully. "How is he?" Elrohir fiddled with the edge of the blanket, tucking it more closely around the prince's shoulder.

"About as well as can be expected when he fell asleep. I don't know about when he wakes up. It can change so quickly… it confuses even him, sometimes."

His brothers gave him sympathetic looks. "You need to remember to take care of yourself, too, Estel." Elladan was looking worriedly at him. "You look exhausted. We're all here for him. You could let us stay with him for a while, or Ada, or the king."

"No," Aragorn said a little too quickly. "He needs me."

He was the only one Legolas would ask for help from, the only one the prince would truly show the depths of his suffering to.

"I'm fine. You know Ada will step in if he thinks otherwise."

"That much is true," Elladan chuckled. "He never has been shy about ensuring his patients' wellbeing. Too bad he sees everyone as his patient, sick or not."

"Too true," Elrohir groaned. "Remember the time…"

Legolas

Unknown to the others, Legolas wasn't entirely asleep. He lay in that strange state between waking and sleeping, idly listening to the conversation, his head still pressed against Estel's chest. He was lucky Estel was too busy talking to his brothers to notice him tense when they started chiding the human about taking care of himself.

What was Legolas doing? He was so eager to accept help and comfort from his best friend, he was completely disregarding how Estel felt in all this. It could hardly be fun to watch someone you loved fall apart so thoroughly; to be so essential for their wellbeing was a lot of pressure. Estel was probably even more tired than he was.

He'd have to pull back. Not stop relying on Estel entirely – he couldn't bring himself to do that – but he'd try to be a bit more independent. Surely, he didn't need Estel at his side every moment of every day.

He knew that the longer he appeared to remain asleep, the longer he could avoid eating, but unfortunately, Estel was so attuned to him that the human quickly realized that he was in fact awake.

"Legolas? Are you awake, mellon nin?"

Pretending that he was just coming out of sleep, Legolas yawned and forced a smile for his best friend. "I am."

"Good, then you're ready for some food."

He winced, but Estel's expression was uncompromising.

"I'll fetch Ada." Elladan got up, shooting Legolas an impish grin. "I hope Elia peeled the grapes today. She's the best. Havil always mangles them."

Legolas gave a weak chuckle.

"Do you want to be alone?" Estel spoke quietly in his ear, giving him the chance to remove the spectators. It would undoubtedly be easier with only Estel here, but Legolas shook his head. He was trying to rely less on Estel, which meant relying more on the other people who were trying to help him.

Too soon, Elrond came in with a plate of grapes, as well as three cups for Legolas. He swallowed the potions first, before turning to the grapes, trying to convince himself he could do this. Thoughts of perfection battered into his mind, and Legolas knew he couldn't keep them out for long.

"Mellon nin?" Estel was looking at him, and Legolas knew he had to say something, but he resisted, fighting the urge to bury himself in his friend's chest and let Estel feed him the grapes like an elfling.

"Legolas, speak to me. Please." At a signal from Estel, Elrond and the others left the room without a word, which just made him feel worse.

"I don't know how to do this."

"I will help you. Here, come and lean against me. Just try to relax."

"No, Estel! That's the problem, don't you see? I'm relying on you too much, but I don't know how to do this without you."

"You don't need to do it without me. I wouldn't let you if you wanted to. Don't worry, as you get better, you'll need me less. For now, it's ok to need help, gwador."

Was it really that simple? "I'm exhausting you," Legolas mumbled, shame welling up inside of him.

"Don't worry about me. I know my limits – and so does Ada. Do you honestly doubt he'll step in if he thinks I'm not taking proper care of myself?"

"No." That much was true. "Still, I shouldn't need you this much. It's stupid…"

"It is not stupid, mellon nin. Believe me, I'm glad you're letting me help you. I couldn't bear to watch you suffer alone."

He'd had a good argument against this, but Legolas found it quickly slipping away from him. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Take what's so messed up in my head and make it so easy."

"You trust me, that's how."

Legolas wasn't given long to ponder this. Estel tugged at his shoulder, and this time, he didn't resist, lying back against his friend's chest as the human had suggested. Legolas clutched a large cup of water while Estel fed him the grapes one by one.

The moment Estel put the tray aside, Legolas was seized by the feeling of impurity. Estel was ready for him and caught his wrist before the prince could bring it close to his mouth.

"No, gwador. You can't do that. Tell me."

Legolas opened his mouth to speak… and burst into tears. There was no impatience in Estel's movements as he wrapped his arms around the prince, slowly rubbing his back. "That's right, mellon nin. Let it all out. There you go."

He must have fallen asleep after crying himself out, because the next thing he knew, Estel was gently shaking him awake. "It's time for your session with Elrond."

Legolas nodded eagerly. Elrond would help him sort out the mess of his thoughts, make them make sense. Estel escorted him there, as always, where Elrond was waiting for him. Legolas hesitated on the threshold. He remembered what had happened the last time he was in this room, and it gave him pause.

Elrond was as astute as always. "We can go somewhere else, if you'd prefer?"

Legolas shook his head. He was being silly. He stepped inside and sat down on the couch.

"How are you doing?" Elrond's eyes were soft and concerned, and Legolas couldn't quite bring himself to meet them.

"I'm not sure, really."

Elrond simply waited. After several minutes, Legolas continued. He told the elf lord everything, every confused, half-formed thought and feeling in his head. Elrond listened patiently. When Legolas started hyperventilating, Elrond helped him drink a dose of his tea and sat with an arm around him until Legolas was calm again.

When he was done talking, Elrond started to ask questions. They began discussing. They talked through every point he'd made. Legolas had been right. Elrond did indeed help him see things more clearly. He understood now that the thoughts he had about perfection weren't natural, but a byproduct of his abuse as a child.

Elrond fully approved of relying on Estel as much as he did and echoed Estel's certainty that it wouldn't need to be forever. For what felt like the first time in centuries, Legolas felt a small ray of hope. Perhaps there was a way out of this for him, after all. He wasn't crazy. It had been his own past messing with him all along.

They danced around the subject of the actual memory, but Elrond eventually brought it up. "Do… do you want to talk about what happened?" he asked gently.

Legolas shook his head vehemently. "No. Not yet. Maybe not for a long time. When I do… I think I'd like Estel here."

"Of course. Whatever you need, penneth. You have done very well. I truly believe that you will get better."

Though it had seemed like a terrible idea at first, in the wake of his reaction, Legolas was beginning to wonder if unlocking the memory might not have been the best thing after all. Yes, it had nearly killed him, and the resultant emotional turmoil had been grueling, but if he could just get to that shining place everyone was sure he could reach – the place un-haunted by perfection – then perhaps it would all be ok. Perhaps he'd needed to break totally before he could put himself back together again.

"Legolas? What are you thinking?"

"I still think of death," he admitted. "There's fear there, but also longing. I think it'll get better, though. I hope it will."

Had it been nighttime, Elrond's smile could have lit up the room.