A/N May 4, 2019: If you currently are reading this story, note that all chapters have been updated. See author's note for chapter 1.

Chapter 3: Not as you think

Leaving the clinic that day Georgie was still shaken. Could it really be a coincidence that Maya had overdosed so soon after she had mentioned the inspector in relation to drugs? Either way it was tragic, and this was one of these moments when the harsh reality penetrated the shield Georgie tried to maintain, and she could not keep her emotions at bay. She felt she needed some time alone and took a detour on the way back to barracks and sat looking at the river floating by, let tears run freely down her cheeks. It was a long time since she had allowed herself to cry like this, maybe not since Elvis' funeral where she had made a complete tit of herself. She was not sure if she now was crying only for Maya, or at the same time for all the other refugees, for Bones and for Elvis. For a while it felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders and she did not know how to carry it. Finally, she wiped her tears away and headed back, head held high for no one to notice her moment of weakness.

Upon arrival at barracks, Captain James, leaning in the door to his office spotted Georgie and called for her.

"Lane, I need a word."

"Now is not a good moment, Sir. Could we take it later?"

She never felt like talking to him, but now was a worse moment than ever.

"No, I need you now. My office." He jerked his head to indicate he wanted her to follow him inside.

It was an order and she had to obey, so she followed him inside with tense shoulders, dreading what he had to say.

"Relax, Lane" he said. "Are you okay?"

Did he have to look so genuinely concerned? It made it more difficult to stay distant.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I can see you're not okay, so I will ask once as an officer to one of the men in my charge and then I expect a response. How are you?"

"I'm a bit troubled, Sir. There was just a death at the clinic which got to me, but I don't really want to talk about it."

He gave a curt nod.

"Fine then, as you wish. However, there is something else I need to speak to you about. I have a feeling you have been avoiding me, both before and after you told me of your intention to transfer away from 2 section, but I need to tell you this so now you have to listen."

Georgie felt adrenaline pump through her body and sensed the taste of bile in her mouth. She was sure she did not want to hear this. She did not want to listen to words that would crumble the deep respect and platonic love she always had felt for this man, both in the capacity of an officer and as the friend of her dead fiancée. If he spoke there would be no turning back.

"Don't, Sir! I don't want to hear more!" she exclaimed.

Startled by the force of her outbreak, he paused to stare at her.

"You have told me how you feel. I have told you I don't feel the same and I have requested a transfer to avoid this. Please respect that, otherwise I will have to report you for sexual harassment."

The last thing she wanted was to have to report him, but she would have no more of this. She was trembling because she found the situation so uncomfortable. He should know better than to put her in this position.

"Georgie! Listen to me!" Harshly, he cut her off. "There will be no need to report me, because what I have been trying to tell you since I came here is not what you think. Now I need you to listen and you can consider that an order because after all I am your CO. Sit down."

He pointed to the chair opposite to his and reluctantly she sat, grateful there was at least a desk separating them. For a moment his voice had been raised, an officer losing patience with a private but now his tone as well as his expression softened again. He sat down too, pulled one hand through his hair, pausing when it reached the back of the head, tugging his curls as if contemplating how to begin.

"I have been wanting to thank you for setting me straight when you came to visit me in rehab. That's what I want to say. I thought a lot, I mean a lot, about what you said and was starting to think you were right."

He paused again and the eyes that met her were sincere. Georgie was holding her breath, waiting.

"Then Molls came down to see me. I tucked away my stupid pride and asked her to come to Headley and she stopped being so bloody stubborn and came. I was so fucking happy to see my wife, you know. I don't think I have been so happy about anything in my entire life. Well, that would be when we first…" His words trailed off and he cleared his throat. "Anyway, we talked for hours and hours and we set so many misunderstandings right. I think you may be right we are made for each other and just had gotten astray. In the end we love each other and want the same things. To make a long story short, we decided to keep trying, not give up on one another."

So many emotions went through Georgie when the words left his lips turned out so different from what she had expected; utter relief, restored respect and joy for him and Molly.

"I barely know what to say. I'm so absolutely chuffed to hear that!

"And relieved I guess?" he cocked an eyebrow and looked amused.

"Well, now I feel a little bit embarrassed about my outburst just now, but yes."

"Don't be embarrassed. I totally understand your reaction. I need to apologise for any discomfort I have caused you. I was totally out of line sending those texts."

"To be honest, you didn't say that much in them, but after what you told me in the jungle, about your feelings crossing a line and us being bonded… maybe I read too much into them."

"No, I shouldn't have texted you in the first place. Period. It is true that I feel a special connection to you because of Elvis, because we both were close to him. For a short while, when I was confused and desperate and sad, even suffered from PTSD if I'm to believe the psychiatrist I have been seeing, I mistook that for something else. On top of losing Elvis and being seriously injured myself, doubting if I ever would be fit for service again, I thought Molly and I were falling apart, and I couldn't handle that. I needed to find hope in something. What you said to me at Headley, made me "sober up", realise that it was in Molly and no one else I could find that strength.

He shook his head like he found it difficult to accept he had gone through that.

"I messed up and I find it hard to forgive myself, but I hope you can with the assurance that it will never be repeated. I will let you in on a secret. I accepted this posting because I was told what had happened to Bones right in front of you all and I did not want to put you through another, unknown CO stepping in after that. If that hadn't happened, the Brigadier would never had been able to convince me to return. Molly and I have decided to leave the Army, both of us. We need more time together and the last tours and the loss of Elvis have scarred both of us, not just physically. I have not been quite balanced lately, as you have noticed. This will be my last tour and then I will ask for medical discharge. I have just postponed it. Only you and Molly know it yet, so please keep it to yourself."

"Apology accepted, Boss. Not even you are perfect, and I know the last years have been difficult for you in so many ways. It is difficult to imagine you without the Army, though, or the Army without you. What will you do?"

"Don't know yet for sure. Get a proper house of our own… and maybe a baby. We are both longing for that actually. Right now, what I want and need as soon as this tour is over is to spend time with my wife, lots of it." He laughed softly, and his cheeks got a tinge of red. "Anyway, I want this to be a good tour without any awkward feelings between us. For the last time I want to do the job I'm told I'm bloody good at and have us all home before Christmas."

"It will be a good last tour, we will make it a good one. No awkwardness after this", she said sincerely.

"Do I dare to hope you will cancel your transfer request?"

"I will" she smiled and felt terribly happy about staying with 2 section under his command.

"Good. Now feel free to double away."

"Thanks, Boss. I can't tell you how good it feels that we set everything straight between us."

"If you only had listened we would have weeks ago, but sometimes you are as headstrong as my wife, Lane", he smirked.

"I take that as a compliment."

"I don't know if you should."

- OG -

After leaving Captain James, Georgie felt the need to be alone again, so she left the gated barracks area again and this time walked in the direction of the town. Charles James would leave the Army and behind and try to get a baby! She knew he had a son from a previous marriage and regretted he had not more present when he was a toddler, but it was difficult to imagine this core Army man carrying around a baby, changing diapers and singing it to sleep. He would probably be brilliant at it like anything else. She questioned if she ever would be any good at that, that kind of life.

If Georgie had married Dr. Jamie Cole a few years back, she would have left the Army and probably had a baby, or rather a toddler, by now… How would that have been? Not right, she answered herself, because she did not really love him, and she had not been ready to leave the Army. She had told herself back then that she did not have that strong maternal drive that so many other women seemed to have, but she knew that when she had been with Elvis, when that relationship felt certain and right, she had been able to picture herself with his baby. That would never happen. Suddenly she felt lonely. She wanted a family life too but that and being a soldier was not an easy combination to pull off and even more difficult would be to ever find someone she could imagine taking on the challenge together with. 'I will leave the Army when it feels right, when there is something, or someone out there pulling me more than being a squaddie does', she told herself.

Her thoughts occupied, she had not really paid attention to where her feet brought her. Suddenly she spotted Inspector Chowdhrey walking in front of her further down the narrow street. He was alone and walking with haste and she wondered where he was off to. Maybe this was an opportunity to get to know more about him, to find out if he could be involved in the drug trade. She knew it was probably not the best idea but could not resist the impulse to follow him. She did so at a distance, tried not to lose him in the crowd of the street, neither come so close he would notice her. For a while she followed him through winding streets, then lost him for a moment and moved faster, searching for him but he was nowhere to be seen. She stopped and sighed, obviously she had lost him and the best thing to do was to return to barracks before dusk.

Out of the blue, someone forcefully grabbed Georgie from behind, locked her arms in a crippling grip and covered her mouth brusquely with a large hand, so she barely could breathe, let alone let out a sound. She tried to fight against it but did not stand a chance against the strong unknown attacker and despite her resistance she was forced through a door. The door closed behind them with a resounding slam and she was alone with a stranger in a pitch-black room, held in a grip impossible to escape from.