A/N May 4, 2019: If you currently are reading this story, note that all chapters have been updated. See author's note for chapter 1.

Chapter 25: Difficult choices

Back at work she did her best to stay focused, but it was far from easy. It had remained completely silent from Jack for nearly two weeks and the worrying was like a constant ache within her. She hated that it was consuming her and that she was not quite herself. She did not like this anxious person she had become, who apparently was not in charge of her own emotions. She wanted to feel strong and independent again, but how?

Luckily, training other medics was such a routine job to her that she managed the lessons without much effort and the days went by. She would soon have to answer the two universities but kept pushing the decision ahead of her until last minute. She hoped she would be able to at least talk to Jack over the phone before, even though she did not know what direction that conversation might take.

One sunny day at the end of May, just as she was teaching the new medics how to do the primary survey of a casualty; checking CABC - catastrophic bleed, airway, breathing, circulation, she felt her phone buzz from a text message. She was bracing herself for disappointment as so many times before, but as soon as she got the chance to sneak a glance she read it and her heart jolted when she saw that this time it was finally him.

Jack: Hi, what are you up to?

She held back a giggle. If he only knew how much that casual message meant to her.

Georgie: Nothing much. At work, teaching. You? Are you fine? Working on you tan I assume.

Jack: More than fine. I'm back.

Georgie: Home in UK?

Jack: Home and here.

Georgie: Here?

Jack: At the regiment. Come see me?

Georgie: Love to but working. Later?

Jack: Please

Jack: Please, please, please

The feelings that bubbled up in her during this written, sparse conversation was hardly possible to describe, a mixture of relief, happiness and anticipation about being close to him. Such a rush of adrenaline that her legs were almost shaking. 'This is insane' she thought, 'how can one little text affect me in this way'. She knew there was nothing she wanted more than to see him.

Georgie: Give me 30 min. Where?

She finished off the training session as soon as she could, hardly knowing how she was able to lecture coherently as her thoughts were elsewhere and then headed towards the office he had asked her to come to. They still had not told anyone about them, so they did not want to be seen in the open.

For some reason, she knocked the door before entering and he looked up as she came in, where he sat perched on the desk. He was dressed in combats, the designer clothes gone again, was tanned which made the eyes look more intensively blue than ever. She felt slightly shy when she saw him, the time apart made him feel almost like a stranger again and she was not sure what to do. Despite that she had longed for him she did not know if he wanted her to touch him here in this setting, or if he wanted to keep it strictly professional at work even if they no longer were in the same chain of command. Her heart was racing, her pulse sounding aloud in her ears as she just stood inside the door leaning against it, hoping she looked relaxed but feeling she needed the support to keep standing.

"Are you going to stay over there all day, Corporal Lane?" he asked in a dry voice, cocking an eyebrow with a characteristic smirk, reminding of the way he had been when she first got to know him as Bones. Then his face broke up in a big smile which reached all the way to his eyes.

"If you're just going to stand there and play hard to get, then I guess I will have to come to you" and he crossed the room in a few big steps, leaned over her, tipped her chin up and kissed her.

"I have missed you so much. I have longed for you like crazy." He paused to say, then let his lips crash against hers again.

She responded to his kiss, pulled him towards her, felt the warmth of his body, the strength of his arms around her and it was so lovely that she did not know how she ever would be able to say no to this. They stayed like this for long, snogging like teenagers but wanting more. Finally, using all her will-power, Georgie interrupted it.

"I'm only off for lunch, I need to head back soon. I'm training medics and they expect me in five minutes."

"Can I see you tonight?"

"Yes. Yes, I'd love that." It was true, she was already longing for it, but she was also slightly apprehensive because she knew that ow that she had him here, she had her opportunity to take the bull by its horns and no idea how that would end. "I have some news to share."

"Exciting… Looking forward to that then. So do I, by the way - have news to share."

They parted, both curious about what news the other one might have and looking forward to the rendezvous. Georgie was shaken, in his absence she had managed to forget the magnitude of the physical effect he had on her. She realised that if she seriously considered breaking up with him, it would probably have to be over the phone because face to face she would not be able to resist him.

- OG -

Later, they were lying close to each other in his narrow army bed.

"They don't make these beds for couples." Georgie said. "Clearly the don't want to encourage squaddies to share bed."

"Or they want to encourage us to be very, very close" he laughed and pulled her on top of him. "Look, like this there is plenty of space in the bed."

They kissed again, and she tried to be only in this moment, taking delight in being close to him because she loved it, but a tiny voice kept whispering inside her the question how she would manage when he left again, and she knew it was time to have the conversation she already had postponed for some hours.

"Now I want to hear your news Georgie. What's happened when I was away?" he said, as if he could sense what she was thinking.

Then she told him she had heard from the two universities and been accepted to both.

"That is amazing news! I'm so proud of you, I knew you would make it." He noticed a look on her face which he could not quite interpret.

"That is great news, isn't it Georgie? You look like your hesitating… have you changed your mind about leaving the army and go to med school?"

"No, I haven't, I feel good about that decision."

"But there's something else that worries you?"

"I don't know which one to choose…" He remained silent, waiting for her to continue as he sensed there was something important she wanted to say.

"Jack, ever since I applied I have thought that I would choose Manchester if only got in. But the education is four years and I have to think about where I want to be all that time."

"Yes, and?"

He started to have a feeling about where this was going but he wanted her to say it.

"Well, now I can choose London too… and if I did, it would be easier for us to meet when you are home… but I don't know. This, us, it is early days and I don't know where it is going, and I don't know if you even would want me to consider London and now I just feel confused about all of it."

He took his time before answering, as if measuring his words carefully.

"Georgie, this has to be your decision, not mine. Like you said, this is new, and we don't know yet where it's going, and I wouldn't want you to make a choice on my behalf and then hold it against me if you regretted it down the line."

She could not decide if she thought it was a good thing that he was pushing her to make her own decisions, or if him not wanting her to make choices that took him into account possibly meant he was not ready to commit to this relationship after all. He continued talking.

"But maybe my news will in some way help you make your choice. I don't want you to freak out over this and be too scared about how this affects us because it isn't only about you, just hear me out. Okay?"

Her heart skipped a beat. How could she not be scared? Would he leave for a war zone for a longer period, so long there was no point to continue the relationship? Or, did he have just second thoughts about them anyway? Even though she had been hesitating about their future, she did not want him to.

"Okay." She inhaled and unconsciously held her breath, bracing herself for the worst.

He watched her face attentively as he spoke.

"I have also decided to leave the Army."

She let the words sink in, it was so unexpected that she was not sure she had heard him right.

"You will leave the Army? You? For real?"

"Yes. Yes. And yes."

He answered calmly, a smile at the corner of his mouth at her disbelief. She was incapable of saying anything and he continued.

"Listen, it probably feels less like a life changing decision to me than it did to you. Remember it was never my own choice to join the army to begin with, though I came to like it. With my father gone, I would love to be more with my family. Also, I've talked a lot to Will who isn't very keen on running the family business on his own. He doesn't enjoy it or have a real talent for it and would much prefer if we did it together. I think I would like that too. It was not an option when our father was alive, but now it is."

She nodded. "But wouldn't you miss the Army?"

"Probably a bit, yes, but I've always known I want to leave sooner or later. Have a life here at home for real, be there more for Sarah and her boys. Once I have kids of my own, and I want to, I want to be a different kind of father than mine was. I want to be there and let them know I love them, not keep risking my life every day on the job then. At some point, I have to choose between all that and the Army and it actually doesn't feel like a very difficult decision for me."

She just nodded again, still shocked.

"I said I didn't want you to freak out because I don't want you to think I'm doing this only because you're leaving, and I want to be with you. I don't want to put that kind of pressure on this relationship when we're so new. This decision is something that has been growing on me for a long time... but... if you want to keep seeing me, I would love that."

Georgie still remained quiet.

"Then again, maybe you like me best as a soldier…" he added, now feeling he was rambling on, starting to lose his cool.

He didn't say it out loud but when he had been making this decision, she had a bigger part in it than he let on. It had crossed his mind that maybe she would not want him as an ordinary man, maybe she had a special thing for SF soldiers. It did not seem that farfetched as Elvis also had been one. In the end, he had come to the conclusion that if that was the case it would not last between them anyway, but he hoped desperately that it was not like that.

Now he saw tears on her cheeks.

"Georgie are you crying?"

"Yes..."

He pulled her closer to him. "Why?"

"I'm just so happy, Jack. Of course, I want to be with you if you resign. I have been worrying sick how things would be, if I could stand being with you when you will disappear for covert ops all the time and I wouldn't know if I would get you back alive or in a body bag. I didn't know if I can handle that when I love you."

There, she had said it to him, awake, without intending to. He withdrew just enough so he could see her face and looked at her intently.

"You love me?"

"I think I do" her heart was pounding over the unplanned confession.

He caressed away the tears from her cheeks.

"Lucky for me, because… I love you too,"

He only hesitated before saying the words that had not come over his lips for so long, but only briefly because it felt completely right to say them here and now. Their faces were close, both now looking at the other with completely undisguised love, so happy their hearts could burst.

"You do?"

"Yes, it is weird because you're such an annoying person who doesn't follow orders and always get into trouble, but I have loved you for some time."

"I guess this means we will keep seeing each other, at home… no more army regulations or dangers, just you and me."

"I think it does and I think I would like that very much, and Georgie, it also means we should talk to each other. If you are worried or sad, I want to know. I want to be there for you, like I hope you will be there for me. I think I have already seen you at both your strongest and your weakest and I love both, you don't need to hide who you are from me. You don't have to manage everything on your own. I know you can, but you don't have to, not anymore."

She pressed her lips softly to his collarbone.

"I know. Now I know." It was like the dark clouds that had been hanging over her dissolved just like that.

After this, she stayed the night. They could not imagine spending it away from each other after having admitted their love like this and felt they did not care if someone found out. It was not forbidden now that he was not her CO and soon they would leave this behind anyway.

For now, they did not talk more of where she would decide to live, but as she lay on his chest she knew that she would follow her father's advice and make the choice for her own sake, not for her family's and what she wanted most of all now was to start her studies and to be with Jack.