Author's Note: I've been absolutely blown away by how many people have favourited and followed this story! And for the lovely reviewer who hoped Severus wasn't a Death Eater – well, here's your answer.

Chapter Three: Morning

Lily woke up the next morning knowing that it was going to be a tough day. But for a moment, a single beautiful moment, all she felt was the joy of waking up beside the man she never should have walked away from. They had spent the whole night talking over everything that had happened in their time apart. He had told her some things that she knew could not have been easy to admit. She was so proud of him for that and for what he had done to change his life.

Though she had to admit it had been hard to listen to what had happened during their time apart, knowing he had been through all of that without her being there for him. She blamed herself so much for that, the guilt threatening to swallow her whole if she let it. But Severus had not let her say a word against herself for not being there at the time. In truth he would have been ashamed for her to see him that way.

"I assume you know about the wizard who calls himself a Dark Lord?" Severus had begun cautiously. Lily had tensed but nodded, terrified of where this was going to go. Was he about to tell her he had joined that madman?

"I was spending the summer after sixth year with Lucius and Regulus. We were at Malfoy Manor when Abraxas Malfoy summoned us to the sitting room, where we met him. He was.. incredibly charismatic, charming I suppose. He told us about his 'cause', said that he had heard good things about me.." Severus had paused, looking away from her in shame. Nobody had ever said such a thing about him before and she knew it, knew why he had been taking in by it.

Lily had held his hand to comfort him and show support. She did not want to interrupt him though, knowing he was struggling to want to tell her this.

"He made promises, things I could only have dreamed of. I was... tempted." Something in Lily made her want to panic at that thought but she knew that was not all of the story. "I think I might have joined him had I not seen how he treated his followers later on."

She had looked at him curiously for an explanation of his statement and he had obliged, though it made her sick to her stomach.

"The Dark Lord is rather fond of the Unforgivables, particularly Crucio."

That he had almost been tied to someone who did such things haunted her and she had held him tightly after that, as if letting him go might have doomed him to such a fate. They had fallen asleep together, still very much unable to let go of the comfort that they gave each other.

Lily felt sheer relief at the fact that she had not lost Severus to this Dark Lord, whoever he really was. That relief stayed with her, no matter how tough the next part of it was going to be. She had no idea what James was going to do or say but in the end this had to happen, she owed it to him to not be a coward.

"I'll come back when it's over," she said as she stood by the Floo. She knew there had to be a part of Severus that was worried about her not coming back, she had to reassure him that was not the case.

"I will be here," Severus replied, hating the part of him that was scared. But some of those fears were soothed when she gave him a kiss before throwing the powder into the Floo and clearing saying 'Potter manor' before stepping into the flames and disappearing from his sight. Now all he could do was wait.

Lily stepped out of the Floo into the sitting room at the place she had called her home. They had talked about moving somewhere smaller than his ancestral home, somewhere more cosy than the cold manor. But now she supposed all of that was entirely beside the point.

She found James out in the garden, sitting by the pond. He had dark circles under his eyes, clearly having not slept. Her heart ached, knowing she had done this to him and had been too much of a coward to deal with the consequences until today.

"What do you want, Lily?" he asked her, his voice harsh. He did not even bother to look at her.

"To explain, if you'll let me," she replied softly, sitting on the other half of the bench. The silence stretched out all around her for a few moments while he seemed to turn the thought over in his mind.

"Fine. Explain."

Lily winced at his tone but she deserved it so she did not complain. Instead she began to talk, letting her thoughts pass her lips in one jumble in the hopes he would even begin to understand what she had done and why. "I wasn't being fair to you, James. When I fell in love with you I hadn't let go of the person I loved before. In a way I suppose I never actually gave you all of myself. So when I was standing there about to marry you I just... couldn't condemn you to a life with someone who had done that." She sighed, it was a terrible explanation but she could not quite put into words what was on her mind.

James listened and sat in silence for a few moments before turning to look at her. It damn near broke her heart to see the sadness and resignation in his eyes. "You were never really mine, were you?" he asked her, obviously fighting to keep his tone as even as possible.

"Honestly? I don't know. I think I belonged somewhere else a long time before I realised it," she confessed.

"Remus said that," he replied with a sigh. "That you never meant for this to happen. He's too nice to lie." And wasn't that the truth. Remus did not lie to his friends, was honest to the point of being blunt when he needed to be.

"I didn't, I swear I'd never have chosen to hurt you," she replied, her voice shaking with the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes. "I'm selfishly hoping we can be friends."

James looked away from her again, looking out over the pond and trying to figure out if he could give he what she was asking for. "One day," he decided. "Right now I'm not sure I'm enough of a good person to sit and talk and pretend I'm not bitter." But it was a start and Lily would take it.

"One day is more than enough," she said softly.

After leaving him to sit out in the garden with his thoughts, Lily went into the manor and began to pack. It went much faster using magic and she did not want to linger, it was not fair to invade James' space any longer. She shrunk the bags and put them in her pocket before heading back down to the Floo. She found James waiting for her.

"Tell him if he hurts you again I'll kill him."

No more needed to be said, they both knew who he was talking about and the fact that it was clear who she had run to. She gave him a weak smile and replied, "He wont." She trusted in that, more perhaps than anything else.

When she stepped out of the Floo into Severus' home she took a deep, calming breath. At least it was over. Now to figure out where the rest of her previously planned out life was going to go.