Chapter 6 - Goodbyes Hurt the Most

Most of the group stares in horror at AJ, the young boy holding the smoking gun that had just killed Marlon.

"What? I aimed for the head." He tells us, and Louis looks over at him, horrified.

"Marlon, no!"

"Oh my god!" Omar adds.

More clamoring ensues as the others panic, but Mitch stands front, pointing a single finger at AJ.

"Marlon's dead. That kid blew his fucking brains out!"

"You shot him." Louis says in disbelief. "He's dead. You're a murderer." He says to the boy, who looks hurt, before turning to Clem. "You said you'd help Marlon fix things. What the fuck did you teach this kid?"

The others start to surround AJ, trying to overwhelm him, before Violet steps in front of him, pulling out her butcher knife. "Back off! All of you!"

"Marlon surrendered, and then he fucking murdered him, Vi!"

"Take AJ and go inside." Violet instructs Clem, but this is met with some immediate resistance.

"Oh, just let them go back to the dorms? What happens the next time someone does something this kid doesn't like? Should we expect a bullet too?"

"Back off, Louis." Violet warns him, but Louis shakes his head.

"No fuckin' way. It was done, until Mr. Trigger-Happy decided to shoot him."

"Let's go, AJ." Clem says to the boy as they start to walk off, but Mitch steps in their way, knife drawn.

"He helped save you from that fucking car wreck, and you fucking murdered him?"

"Get back, Mitch." She warns him.

"Get. Back." The boys repeats, and Mitch scowls.

"Or what? You'll shoot me too?"

"Put the knife away, unless you wanna wind up like Marlon." I warn him, putting my handgun to the side of his head, getting more gasps from the others.

"Brett? What the fuck are you doing?" Ruby asks me, but I don't break my glare at Mitch.

"I'm doing the right thing. We do not do blood for blood here. We will decide what to do with them, but we are not outright killing them. We've lost enough tonight."

"How the fuck can you say that while defending AJ?" Mitch asks me, not standing down.

"Because I know that if we keep this up, we're gonna fucking kill each other, and I don't want that. Is that too difficult to understand?"

Finally, he stands down, putting the knife back in his pocket. "Screw both of you. He mutters to us before huddling over Marlon's body with the others, still mourning.

Violet leads Clem and AJ back inside, leaving those mourning, and me.

"So, what do we do with the body?" Benji asks, and the others shrug.

"We could have a funeral tomorrow. Pay our respects to him and Brody." Ruby suggests.

The group agrees, and most of them help pick up Marlon's body. I, of course, want nothing to do with it. They decide to move him to the basement, where they can keep his body until the funeral in the morning, and I watch as they open the door, and my heart shatters when I see the floor.

There she is. Brody's corpse lies on the floor with her face bashed in. It looks like Clem had to defend herself after Brody turned, and she did what she had to.

"Brody… No…" My knees collapse next to her body. "Fuck… Brody!"

"Oh my God…" Aasim says as he sets down Marlon's body. "Brett, I am so sorry."

"She's… she's fucking gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye. Marlon he… FUCK!"

As much as I want to look away, I just can't. Something forces me to just look at the girl I used to love, what's left of her at least. Her skull bashed in well past recognition. The bits and chunks of skull and brain matter smashed all around her, and my guts squirm.

I keel over and turn away as stomach acid forces its way up my guts, and I puke in the corner, the sick feeling from my stomach not going away as tears stream down my cheeks.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I wipe off my face and turn to see Louis offering sympathy. "Hey man, you alright?"

"Do I look alright, motherfucker?" I snap back at him. "My girlfriend is dead, her fucking skull got bashed in. If that doesn't answer your question, no, I'm pretty fucking far from alright."

He backs off, and I take that as a chance to get the fuck out of there. Before I can leave, though, I take one more look at Brody's body.

"I was such a bitch to her for so long." Violet mutters from next to me. "I… I should've been nicer to her, especially knowing the twins didn't die. I just wish she could've known that. I didn't even get to apologize. Fuck… I'm sorry, Brody."

"It doesn't feel real." I say to her. "We were laying in bed a few hours ago, just talking. I told her I loved her as I fell asleep. I had no idea that was the last thing I'd say to her. And yet, here we are, looking at the work that asshole. Marlon, caused."

"Do you blame the kid for shooting him?" She asks me, and I take a second to ponder that. On one hand, he's five. The sheer fact he even knows how to use a gun is kinda wild, and seeing him willingly use it on who he perceived as a threat is a scary sight. At the same time though, if I didn't get pulled back, who's to say I wouldn't have beaten him until he was a bloody pulp, just like my girlfriend is now.

"I have no idea. This is all just too much. How're he and Clem handling it?"

"They're… remorseful. I think AJ understands he went too far, but he's so young, shit... "

"I mean, I can't really blame him. I might've killed him myself if I didn't get dragged back." I tell her, and she nods back to me.

"It would at least make sense. He killed the girl you love, you'd have a reason to. AJ, he just… took initiative."

"Killing someone at such a young age, that can't be good for his brain, can it? Like, if he becomes so desensitized, will he go on a rampage or something, especially if Clem can't keep him stable?"

"It's a definite possibility. We'll have to try and avoid that, by any means." She agrees. "You should probably get some rest. You need it, especially after all this."

I nod, one last tear rolling down my cheek. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right." With my last look at Brody, I give her a teary smile, but I can't say anything. I want to say something sweet, but I can't bring myself to say anything, so I just walk out.

The rain has turned into a light sprinkling, and I see Rosie, still tied up on the pole, sniffing at the pool of blood Marlon left. I give her a couple ear scratches before heading back in. Each step I take down the hallway echoes down and back, and the quiet of everything else sends a shivering chill down my spine. Just being alone with my thoughts, especially now, I don't want that. I need to sleep.

I turn to knob to enter the room, and I see Benji, still awake and sitting on his bed. The two of us look up at each other, and without saying a word, he gets up, walking over to me, and hugging me.

I want to cry, but nothing comes out. I just want to collapse. I can't speak. I can barely even walk. I'm a fucking wreck. He helps me over to my bed, where I settle down into it, closing my eyes without a word, silently praying for sleep, death, anything to end this day.

Of course, death doesn't come. And I can't sleep. Who could? When you see your girlfriend's head bashed in, it tends to be pretty difficult to relax, much less to fall asleep. When the image of her whole skull and face bashed in is imprinted into your memory, it's hard to see anything else when you close your eyes, so I just lay there, my mind broken and not feeling any sort of sensation in my body. Eventually, I see sunlight pouring in through the window, and I decide to roll out of bed. I'm not sleeping, that's been established, so I walk out into the courtyard, still damp from last night's rain, and I grab a shovel, heading over to the graveyard, where I see Willy, of all people, hard at work on crosses, likely for the graves.

"Brett? What're you doing up?" The boy asks me. "The funeral isn't going to be for an hour or so."

"I didn't sleep at all." I tell him as I start digging. "How was I supposed to? Did anyone really sleep? Brody's dead. Marlon's dead. Is anyone able to sleep after what happened?"

"Am I supposed to answer that?" He asks me, and I simply shrug. I'm not even sure at this point.

The wet dirt makes it pretty easy to dig, thankfully, and this gives me something to focus on instead of Brody, even though this is FOR Brody. Marlon keeps crossing my mind. That two-faced son of a bitch. Just days before he let us in, from his own generosity, he let two of his people get kidnapped by these raiders, all so he could feel safe. And when Brody wanted to tell us what he did, he killed her for it. That scumbag.

I don't blame AJ for what he did. I wasn't sure last night. Now, I have no doubt in my mind. I'll defend him and Clem till the end about that. Maybe I have bias here, but that shouldn't matter. Marlon had it coming the moment he let Sophie and Minnie be taken. Killing Brody tipped it over the edge for me. I would've done the exact same thing AJ did.

Others start showing up, ready to pay their respects, as I finish the final grave. I get some looks of sympathy from some of them, Mitch sends a nasty glare my way instead, which I gladly return. I guess he hasn't forgotten about last night.

As it gets closer to starting time, Mitch, Louis, Violet, and Aasim go down to the basement, and minutes later, the come back up, Marlon's and Brody's bodies in hand. Each body is placed in a grave, and we start covering them with dirt, and as the dirt rises on my girlfriend's body, the sight of her fades away with each pile of dirt I begrudgingly drop on her, until she entirely covered, and the patch of dirt is all that remains.

"We should probably get Clem and AJ," Violet tells us, and a few of us agree. "Tenn, can you get them?" she softly asks the boy, who nods and runs off.

Minutes later, they arrive, as others start placing flowers, and saying nice words to the dead. Rosie, possibly missing Marlon the most, lays at his cross, whimpering but not doing much else.

"Oh God, they're here." Aasim mutters, getting a glance from Violet.

"So what? They knew Brody, didn't they?"

"Yeah, but Marlon-" Omar responds, before Violet cuts him off.

"Just leave them alone."

Louis sighs, and I hear him mutter something under his breath, but it doesn't seem like anyone hears what he says.

With that, Violet starts the service itself. Her words get drowned out by my thoughts, though. It's impossible to focus on that, when your girlfriend is buried a few feet in front of you. Benji walks over next to me, putting his hand on my shoulder in support, getting a painful smile out of me.

Tenn walks over to Brody's grave, placing a picture he drew at her cross. "Brody," He says, "You always said you wanted to go to the beach, so, I drew it for you."

Violet gives him a soft smile before looking over at me. "Brett? Do you wanna say anything?"

My chest knots up, but I nod. I walk up to Brody's grave, kneeling by her final resting place.

With a deep breath, I speak from the heart. "Brody, I already miss you, like nothing else. You were the best part of my day, and I can't tell you how much you mean to me. I just… I just wish I got to say goodbye. But I'll see you again, I know that for sure. So rest easy, I'll see you when I see you." I feel myself choke up as I stand, a single teardrop rolling down my cheek and landing on the grave. "I love you…"

I walk back into the crowd, as Violet looks over at Marlon's grave. "Marlon was…" she pauses, shaking her head. "I can't. Not for Marlon. Not after what he did to the twins and Brody."

"You didn't even like Brody!" Willy snaps at her. "You were always mean to her."

Violet frowns. "I can't do it. Someone else do it." She walks back into the crowd.

I hear Mitch mutter "Bitch" under his breath, and I want to knock his lights out in front of everyone, but I resist the urge to, out of respect for Brody.

"Dude, don't." Louis tells him.

"Seriously, Louis? He was your best friend. He wasn't perfect, but he deserved better than to be gunned down by that kid." He says, turning to AJ and pointing over at him. "AJ killed him like it was nothing.

"You're right, Mitch. Marlon didn't deserve what AJ did to him." Clem agrees, surprisingly. I would've agreed with AJ, not that that's really a surprise anymore.

"I know what I did, I'm sorry." The boy admits. "I know I'm a murderer, but I gonna atone."

"Fuck, I can't listen to this." Louis says as he walks back inside, completely ignoring AJ, Clem, and everyone else.

Aj continues, "What I did was bad, and I'm gonna make it up to you. I promise."

"You don't have to make up shit!" Violet protests from the back. I look at her and nod in agreement. "Marlon was a fucking murderer, and a liar, and if we'd asked more questions about Minnie and Sophie disappearing last year, none of this would've happened."

"She's got a point…" Aasim quietly agrees.

"Shut up! It wasn't Marlon's fault." Willy argues, which sets me off like a lit fuse.

"Not his fault? Marlon was a grade-A scumbag!" I fire back. "That asshole had it coming to him. I would've done it myself if AJ didn't. And you can put that on the record."

Some gasps come from the crowd, and I feel myself start to simmer down and breathe, starting to think a little more rationally, but I just shut up. I've made my point.

"Look," Clem tells us calmly, "Whatever happened before, AJ shouldn't have killed Marlon. He's just a kid, and he did what he thought was the right thing."

"The right thing?" Mitch roars back. "How can any of us trust you if he thought murdering Marlon was the right thing?"

"What are you saying, Mitch?" Violet asks him, to which he fires back immediately.

"I'm saying they've gotta go. We take a vote, majority decides if they stay or leave."

"Please don't do this." She pleads to him, "I know-"

"You don't know shit. If you did, you would've stopped him." Mitch accuses her, which strikes a chord with me, but also Aasim.

"Like you stopped him from attacking Brody? You're a fucking hypocrite, you know that?"

"A vote's the only way to settle this, or else we'll be arguing forever." Omar tells us, and it seems like just about everyone agrees, for the most part.

"Fine." Violet hesitantly agrees. "I guess we're fucking voting. Tenn, can you get Louis? He needs to vote."

Once again, the boy nods and runs to get him, not saying anything, as Violet turns to Clem and AJ.

"Could you guys go wait in the dorm? I'll go get you when it's all done."

The two of them turn to walk away, and judging by the looks I'm seeing, this isn't going to be pretty.

"I know what AJ did was wrong, but the kid is five!" My brother argues, "Shit, he thought he was doing the right thing. Kicking them out for killing Marlon who, while he didn't deserve to die, was still a bad guy, is a bit extreme, don't you think?"

"They can't just come in here, kill our leader, and expect to get off scot-free." Louis reminds him. "I hate to say it, but I think we need to kick them out. Besides, they've got that community, Richmond. I'm sure they can make it a few days out there. So, she's back with her people, we're fine over here, everyone wins."

"Who's to say she's not with those raiders that took the twins?" Mitch asks. "Maybe they're here to scout us out and report back."

"That's fucking stupid, Mitch." My brother scolds him. "Clem's not like that. She'd stage a car crash in hopes that we come across them? That seems far too convenient."

"Alright, anyone else wanna make their case?" Violet asks us, and everyone looks around. I haven't said a word in here. My position's already known on this matter. When no one else says a word, she motions to Tenn to hand us all pencils and pieces of paper. Without any thought to it, I wrote my answer.

STAY. Written in all caps, with a single line underlining it. I fold my ballot and place it in the bucket in front of Violet, before sitting back down. Everyone else does the same with theirs, with Ruby being the last one. With that, Violet starts reading the ballots.

"One vote leave." She says, pulling out another. "One vote leave, one vote stay.

Two votes stay, one vote leave.

Two votes stay, two votes leave.

Three votes leave, two votes stay.

Four votes leave, two votes stay.

Four votes leave, three votes stay.

Four votes leave, four votes stay.

Five votes stay, four votes leave."

I look around the room. There's ten of us. Nine votes. This is good, at least. We've got half, now it just depends on how this last vote goes.

Violet reaches in, pulling out the final ballot, and a grimace forms on her face, and my stomach drops a bit.

"It's a tie."

Groans erupt throughout the room. A vote, despite Omar's insistence, did not settle this.

"So what now?" Aasim asks. "This didn't solve anything."

"Anyone got a coin?" My brother suggests. "I hate the idea, but I can't think of anything else. I'm guessing our stances on this are set one way or another, so we're gonna have to leave it to chance."

"Yeah, I got one." Omar responds, digging through a pocket until he hands Benji a quarter.

"Heads they stay, Tails they leave." my brother announces, before flipping the quarter in the air.

As we all look on in suspense, the coin, as though it were in slow motion, finally hits the floor, bouncing around a bit, before it rests on the floor, we all rush to see where it landed.

Tails. It's fucking tails. I feel my stomach sink at the thought of what this means. Clem… AJ…

"So that's it then." Mitch proudly announces. "They're gone."

"Fuck…" I hear Violet whisper. "FUCK!"

We all turn to hear the pitter-patter of footsteps running away, and I barely catch a glimpse of Tenn running out of the room. Poor kid. He and AJ were getting along so well. And now, that all goes to moot, because of a mistake, if I can even call it that.

Violet and Louis go to break the news, and I feel sick to my stomach again. I storm back to my room, climbing back into bed, where I just lay there, unable to sleep. How could I? The past day has gotten shittier and shittier, and there's nothing I can do about it.

I feel miserable. Clem and AJ seemed like good people. AJ definitely has his heart in the right place. He did what he thought what he was right. He killed a monster, and he didn't know any better.

With a sigh, I stare blankly upwards. Was this the worst day of my life? Shit, it's up there.