AN: Rubber chickens are serious business.
Jasmine Scarthing-I don't function without my morning caffeine. Yeah, he walks into doors. That was one time! I was sick, remember? Door. Right there. You walked into it.
Voodoo-Mutant-Child-Oh, yes, because reading the labels on Batman's suit will save me from being thrown against a wall. It has labels? It was an example. I don't know. Look nexttime.
Just-Me-and-My-Brain-I was trying to see if coffee interacted with my toxin, and there were no subjects available. He got us banished to the couch for a month. Three weeks. It was a month.
Harley Quinn was the only person that could get away with calling the Joker "puddin'". Unfortunately, such privileges came with drawbacks. Namely, the frequent break-up-make-ups.
Jonathan Crane didn't care if they were breaking up, making out, or killing each other. He just wanted the girl to shut up.
"I-it was just a rubbah chicken!" she was wailing. "But it was the cheap kind and the head fell off!"
What a shame. Now would she go home?
"I didn't mean to make him mad!"
Of course not. But she was driving Jonathan crazy.
"Of course not, sweetie." Kitty soothed. "It'll work itself out in the end."
Who cared if it did?
"What if it does-ent?"
She was making his head hurt.
Kitty rubbed that spot between his shoulder blades and he sighed. He had been enjoying his night in until she showed up, barreling in and making all that noise. Scarecrow had been all for gassing her, but with their luck Joker would take it as an insult.
"It'll turn out fine." Kitty said again. "Doesn't it always?"
Harley wailed. Jonathan cringed and prayed for a sudden attack of laryngitis. Unsurprisingly, his prayer went unanswered.
"H-he was really mad this time!"
As he had been last time. And the time before that. And probably every other time.
"Everyone has arguments."
"Even you and the professah?"
"Sometimes."
Honestly, he couldn't remember the last really bad argument. Little spats about what to do with the subjects didn't count.
"Really?"
Ah, that was the Real World sinking in-that she wasn't the only one with relationship problems.
"Mm-hm."
"But I've never seen you argue!"
Because they had the sense to keep it to themselves. What a novel concept.
"We do, I promise."
"Is she kiddin', professah?"
Damn. She'd remembered that he was there.
"No, she's not."
That shut her up for several minutes. Then…
"I'm goin' home now. Thanks!"
And she was gone.
THE END