The busy days later made him stop worrying about Sasuke. He was overwhelmed with the massive amount of work assigned for this week that whenever the blond came home, his mind had already been filled with the need to sleep. He checked up on the raven a few times but they were so quick all he had was his voice speaking from inside, telling him the raven was fine before Naruto came back to his apartment with his eyes barely opened.
The groceries he bought for Sasuke could last at least two. At least the raven was able to cook, right?
But at six in the Friday's evening, the answer to his question was no. What was he thinking; Sasuke could barely get up on his own, let alone cooking. And with that, Naruto rushed upstairs.
The familiar door opened, revealed a familiar teen holding a familiar infant. "What's the matter, Naruto?"
"I..." He mumbled, scolded himself for coming here without thinking thoroughly. "I just want to see if you are okay."
"Sure, I'm doing well. Thank you." Silky voice said while he gently rocked his child. The blond doubted him. Sasuke always told him that whenever he asked if he was okay.
"Glad to hear that."Just when Naruto was about to leave, Sasuke opened the door wider and gestured inside. "Have you had dinner yet? Come in, we're having one."
It was okay if he wanted to confirm his doubt, right? Besides, he hadn't had dinner yet.
"S... Sure." He answered, followed Sasuke inside.
The raven led him to a round, low table in the living room which he had never seen in this house. The legs looked foldable so he guessed Sasuke must had put it away before. Nevertheless, Naruto had only seen him eating in his bedroom.
Sasuke put the food into bowls and plates and served it onto the table. The food looked simple with little ingredients, but its smell had the blond secretly drooling.
"Itadakimasu." They said and took their first bite. Naruto blinked when the food dissolved in his mouth because Sasuke was really, really good at cooking. and ate some more. Sasuke held Menma in one arm with practical ease, and carefully ate his food with the other.
"Why don't you put him down?" Naruto asked. The raven shook his head and looked at the infant. "He'll get really fussy if I don't hold him."
The blond nodded. He looked at Sasuke, then gazed the table in front of him. It'd been so long since he had eaten with anyone. The smell of food, or only the presence of Sasuke and his child was enough to warm his chest up and that made Naruto smiled.
The raven saw that. "Do you want some more?" He asked, about to stand up to take more food for Naruto but the blood refused. "No, I'm okay."
"Did you have any more cramps, Sasuke?" The raven shook his head.
"I hadn't." He answered quickly. "How was your week?"
"Tired." Naruto sighed. "I hate this job."
"What is your job?" Sasuke asked, then grabbed the last piece of his food.
"I'm an accountant." He said. "Well, not really. They hired me as an accountant but I was doing all the works. Accounting, listing... Sometimes making coffee if there's a company's partner coming by."
"You must be really good at math." Dark eyes looked at him almost amusingly.
"I'm suck at it." The blond shrugged. "But my calculator is smart. That's all you need."
Sasuke chuckled and that was the first time Naruto saw him smile. He looked nice smiling.
"How had your mini version been? He was still in his fussy period, isn't he?"
"Yes, he is." Sasuke smiled at the infant in his arms and green eyes blinked. "Hey, I'm just telling him the truth."
"He'll soon grow out of it." The blond said. "Then it'll be the period where he rolls and crawls all over the house."
"I'd love to see him do that." The raven chuckled and gathered the dishes with one hand, but Naruto stopped him. "Let me do it."
"No, you have washed the dishes before. I can do it now." Sasuke said and continued with the dishes but the blond looked at Menma. "Let me wash the dishes while you feed Menma. He's hungry."
"His meal time is in the next thirty minutes." The raven looked at the clock. "And how could you know he's hungry? He's not crying."
"It's my sixth sense." Naruto smirked. "I always know when a baby is hungry."
"Okay..." Sasuke looked at him unbelievingly, but he still brought the dishes to the sink and grabbed the small blanket on the chair. While Naruto was washing, he covered himself and Menma with the blanket to keep both of them warm and lifted his shirt. Unlike his expectation, the infant refused the nipple placed at his mouth and turned his head away. "Naruto..."
He heard Naruto laughed uncontrollably behind his back. "Oops. Maybe my sixth sense is taking its day off."
"I'm sure your wife didn't let you feed your child." He knew Sasuke was joking but deep inside the blond's laugh slowly died off. What left was only plain laugh without amusement so Sasuke would not take it to himself.
"Yes, she did." He said between giggles. "Boruto's daddy fed him all the time." It was more like Naruto mumbled to himself rather than telling Sasuke.
"So your son's name is Boruto." The raven said, slightly rocking his child. "And you're Naruto. That's almost identical."
It was. He named his son like that in hope of Hinata would love him as much as she loved Naruto. It wasn't like she didn't like the child or anything. It was the blond having these unjustified scares. After all, he'd thought that Boruto could only trust him. "Yes, yes it is.
"To be honest, having similar name with your parents is weird." Sasuke said.
"Sure. You're Sasuke and your son is Menma. That's bamboo shoot. Very unrelated." Naruto chuckled slightly at that.
The raven was silent for a moment. "...When I was pregnant with him, Menma was his nickname because I ate it a lot and he kicked whenever I said it out loud." Sasuke was working at a ramen stall at the while and the owner often gave him the nearly expired Menma to take home. "After he was born, a nurse helped me fill out the birth certificate because I just couldn't. I was too dizzy from the labor and the medications so when she asked what his name was, Menma slipped out as a habit."
It wasn't like he had came up with an actual name, either.
"Why didn't you change it?"
"I didn't have time for that... And Menma is not a bad name. I like it. Even your name was on ramen, too."
"Aww." Naruto said while he put the last dish on the rack. "Why didn't you name him Naruto then? Naruto was much better aand we could have had identical names!"
"...Idiot." Sasuke chuckled in time with Naruto's laugh. The raven then looked at the clock and saw that it was time to feed Menma.
When Naruto turned around, he saw the raven feeding his child and quickly turned away. The blond heard silky voice spoke to him in a questioning tone, "I don't think there's anything embarrassed about this."
"I know." The blond spoke quietly. "I just don't know if you're comfortable with... me... err..."
"You can look, if you want. I'm totally okay with everything." Sasuke said calmingly. "And it's not like you have never seen breastfeeding before."
"Not for too long. Her father insisted on formula after." Up until now, Naruto had no idea why Hizashi made them do that. "We were worried about his health and tried breastfeeding after, but Boruto refused the milk. He liked the formula better, I guess."
Sasuke's lips curved up to himself at that. It wasn't like he could afford formula, so he glad Menma liked his milk. And with him hadn't been able to eat solid food yet was a relief fact added to his list. At least he could produce food for his child without worrying about the fridge, because there were days he could hardly feed himself.
When Menma finished, he cleaned the infant's mouth with a small towel and held him semi-upright, gently patting his back until a small burp could be heard. Sasuke proceeded to clean his child and when he was done, small eyelids fell down and Menma was deeply asleep.
The raven leaned down to softly kiss the infant's forehead, and walked to the bedroom to put him in his mat and blanket.
Naruto approached to gave him a cup of warm water. He switched most of the light off except the one in the kitchen and sat in front of Sasuke, outside the bedroom with a cup in his hands.
"How old are you, Naruto?" Sasuke asked all of a sudden"
"Twenty eight." The blond said, sipping his drink.
"When..." Sasuke hesitated. "When did you become a parent?"
"Near the end of my college graduation." His voice calm and low. The blond saw Sasuke's brows knitted as if he was wondering. "Yes, it was an accident."
"I'm sorry." Sasuke had been curious about parenthood, not Naruto's past and he didn't expect that.
"No, it's okay." The blond felt like telling Sasuke would drop somewhat weight off his heart, and the words came out of his mouth as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Hinata and I... We were at this college party and we were drunk." Naruto did not remember even a second of that night at his flat. He woke up with the world spinning around and, with a girl he barely knew. "We weren't dating, so we left as if nothing'd happened."
"Then somewhat months later, Hinata came over. Telling me she was pregnant with my child. We both wanted to keep the baby so her father insisted on marriage." With all that urging and demands, it felt as if it was Hizashi who got married, not his daughter.
"We did not went well with each other after that."
The marriage was exquisite and glorious, such as their life together. Sparkling as glitters and hollow as a pretty flower pot without seeds. Happiness did not bloom between them.
When Naruto turned back, the blond was surprised to see tears streaming down the raven's face. "Sasuke, are you okay?"
The raven nodded but tried to still his sob. "Did I say something wrong?" Naruto asked.
"No." His voice was shaking. "It was just me... It..."
"Why didn't I want my child?" He broke down and Naruto lightly put a hand on his shoulder. "Why would I ever... ever let people snatch him away?! I'd never want that! I'd never..." He sobbed. "He doesn't deserve a mother like me..."
"Calm down, Sasuke. It's okay now." He hesitantly patted the raven's shoulder. "You're too young so you know you can't take care of him... That's why you were so afraid of him, it's only nature. But look, you haven chosen to take care of him. He's here with you now because you love him. That makes you a good mother."
Sasuke cried and screamed as he tried to shield his belly. "Please! I beg you! Please don't hurt it!"
"Please..."
"No, Naruto. You don't understand" He said. "I..."
Then he snapped out. What was he doing? Crying to a stranger? What made he cry?
Why did he even cry?
"I'm sorry... I don't know what had gotten into me." He wiped the tears with his forehand and told him.
He calmed down after a while and Naruto realized it was almost nine, so he thought he should leave the raven. "It's late. I think it's time I gotta go."
"Oh, right." Sasuke said. "But Naruto, could you do me a favor?"
"Sure, what is it?" The blond stood up from his place.
"Can I borrow your newspaper?"
"Of course. Can I bring it over tomorrow?" Although Naruto didn't have any newspaper because he wasn't use to reading them, he thought he would drop by the store to get the raven some.
The raven nodded and walked Naruto to the door, watching the tall figure until it disappeared from the hallway. When the door closed behind his back, he sunk to the floor, breathing heavily as he lifted his shaky hands up and looked at it.
There was blood all over. The imaginary blood that he could still smell its metallic scent, made his guts tightened and feel like throwing up. His thighs shaking heavily, trembling as the rest of his body. Dark eyes gazed to the balcony outside the glass door.
The body was there. The body, pale and bleeding, was there.
"He's dead, remember?" He whispered to himself. "He's dead and no longer harming."
No matter how much he loved him, he killed him with these hands. Sasuke broke down into tears, curled up and hugged his abdomen as he shakily whispered.
"I killed him. I killed everyone."
When Naruto went out for groceries the next morning, he dropped by the convenience store for some newspaper for Sasuke.
"Thank you." He handed the seller some bills before walking back home.
With the two heavy bags he carried, the blond had to fiddle around in order to open the door. He carefully walked inside, dropping the bags onto the kitchen counter and sighed from relief.
Naruto put the groceries away, leaving a quarter to bring up to Sasuke later. He glanced through the newspapers he had just bought and, somehow felt curious to look through them for once.
He had a feeling the raven needed newspapers to find recruitment ads, because that was the only thing he did with newspapers back then and he was sure Sasuke was unemployed. Naruto'd chosen the ones with most recruitment ads so there wasn't much to see, only stupid gossip stories and advertisements.
When Naruto was about to give up and flipped through the third newspaper, he found a small column with a familiar line. MAN FOUND DEAD ON BALCONY.
He flipped to the page that had the article. It didn't state the address but "the apartment" where they found the body and the witness's initial, "Mr.U.", made him recognized immediately. Well, the police had talked to him in front of the door before they borrowed his balcony to climb upstairs because the front door was locked and could not be broken, so the neighbors gathered there must had heard everything. Definitely somebody around here gave up the information, or worse, wrote this article because they knew both him and Sasuke. He flipped to the front page and saw the newsroom's address. It was from around here.
According to the article, when the police went up the balcony, they found Sasuke unconsciously lying on the floor with his head injured. Naruto didn't know this because dead bodies and criminal things caused him uneasy feelings. After he let the police use his balcony, he just went inside and put on headphones to watch some stupid comedy movies, tried to distract himself from what was going on above the ceiling.
The front door was locked with plenty of furnitures, and that was weird because he remembered the raven's home as lack of furnitures. The lady lived next door to Sasuke heard something like a gunshot that night, which she'd thought as thunder at first.
The article ended with everything being investigated by the police. Naruto didn't need to know more. He took the pages that had the article and the title off, crumpled them into a ball and threw in the trash can. Then he checked the other newspapers to see if they wrote about the incident, and gathered all to bring up to Sasuke.
Sasuke's mood was a little down, but otherwise he seemed pretty fine. As usual, he never let Menma off his arms so Naruto offered to put the groceries away for him. It felt good somehow to see the raven shyly thanked him.
"You should look through the newspaper. I don't know if I've got the right ones." He said while bent down to put the vegetables in the fridge's lower compartment.
Charcoal eyes scanned through the recruitment section in the newspaper, absentmindedly biting his lips in nervousness and confusion. It was urgent for him to have a job and earn some money, but with his son being a few weeks old, still needing his mother by his side all the time and had nobody to babysit him, then going to work wasn't something Sasuke was capable of. But if he did not going to work, the answer was clear and he'd not had survived those weeks if this kind man wasn't here, helping him and giving free food. Sasuke was extremely embarrassed to be helped out so much and even if he didn't, the man could not help him forever. The raven was trapped in this situation and he felt so stressed out. He thought he would find the job first and... somehow find a way for his son.
The raven found the first suiting recruitment ad and decided to contact the employer, but his phone had broken and so was his laptop. He didn't realize Naruto had finished with the groceries and was staring at him, he almost jump when he heard the blond's voice.
"Do you... um... need a phone for that?"
Sasuke hesitantly nodded and the blond fished out his phone from his pocket, handed it to him. The screen was already unlocked and had a plain, black background without any picture. Sasuke went to the calling section and typed in the employer's number. He pressed the phone to his ears and waited, the person on the other side answered a moment later, asking what he needed.
"I saw your recruitment ad on the newspaper. I wonder if you're still looking for someone?"
"Sure, we are! My boss is currently not here so can I take your full name and number?"
"Of course! I'm Sasuke Uchiha, the number is..." Right when he was about to ask Naruto the number, the person on the other side ended the call. "What?!"
The look on Sasuke's face wasn't angry. It was simply helpless as if he was used to it. The blond came up and took a seat in front of the raven, held up the newspaper and pointed to another ad. "I think you should try this one."
They dialed the number but nobody answered. "It's okay, we got plenty of time."
Sasuke started to circle the fitted ads while Naruto called them one by one. Some of them told him they'd contact back when it was likely that they wouldn't. Some shut off and some didn't answer the phone. After twelve calls, Sasuke started to get tired and thought he should let Naruto go but the blond spoke first. "Maybe we should try somewhere further. Could you like... taking the bus?"
When he nodded, the blond flipped to another page. "How about this?"
It was an ad from a traditional restaurant. They were looking for a part time waiter in evening shifts. Naruto dialed the numbers and they both nervously waited.
"Hello?" The female voice on the other side answered, made Naruto hurriedly give the phone to Sasuke. "Hi! I saw your recruitment ad on Konoha Weekly. Are you still looking for a waiter?"
"Er... Sorry but we've already found someone..." But she left the phone and seemed to be talking to someone. "Actually, he's only a seasonal waiter so can you work next month?"
"Y... Of course I can." He answered.
"Alright. We will call you back when it's time, I've got your number already."
"Thanks..."
"Have a good day, Sasuke!" She told him and hanged up the phone.
There was a moment of silence between him before Naruto said, "That girl seems weird, to be honest."
"She does." She definitely hadn't known who he was yet. He was pretty sure once she started his history research for the hiring process, she would stop contact him immediately.
"You would." The blond claimed. "By the way, let's call some more... What the heck?" He groaned when the low-battery notice showed up. "Only 5% left?"
"I think that's enough for today, anyway." Said Sasuke. "You should charge your phone."
He placed his pinky in Menma's hand and smiled as the infant tried to grab his finger through the mitten. Green eyes blinked at his mother's smile.
"Just for you to know." Naruto smiled. "He does recognize you."
"I know." The raven lovingly stroked his child's small hand. "He also grasps everything that's put in his hands."
"Right now he could not look like what you've imagined a baby would. But trust me, he'll become irresistible few weeks from now with that grasping and big sparkling eyes he'll eventually grow into."
Sasuke held the baby to his chest, then suddenly he remembered something. "Don't you need to charge your phone?" He asked Naruto.
"Oh, right. See you then..." He said, watching the blond's slight waving.
Sasuke sat in the empty bathtub with his knees to his chest, looking up at the ceiling. He had been doing it for a while.
Menma was asleep so he had a little time washing himself, but he had done with washing. He just sat there, staring and did not realize he was doing it.
Then, his gaze ventured down to his postpartum belly, pale hand reached up to touch it. The bump had shrunk to his six-month size with stretch marks all over his abdomen, making Sasuke recalled what his doctor had told him when he first seeing them.
Never in his life the raven had known about stretch marks until he got them himself, and that made him freak out. The doctor told him he was so underweight that the sudden expanse of skin and weight gave him more stretch marks than usual. He recalled when a nurse saw his naked upper body, she'd had laughed at him and told Sasuke his marks were the weirdest she had ever seen in her whole career. The lady was taken care of after that.
He recalled feeling anxious when his child moved inside him, recalling the nights when he woke up hugging his belly tight, sweating from the nightmares of people taking his son away. These stretch marks were more than battle scars to him, carved more agonizing events than the actual scars littered his skin.
'You look so fucking ugly like that.' He said, throwing the empty beer can to the wall next to Sasuke's head. The aluminum container fell into his naked lap, droplets of blood from the newly formed injury covered the beer brand. 'Like a butchered swine.'
Sasuke stepped out of the bathroom and headed straight to his bedroom. His body was sore, all he wanted was to lie down and fall into a deep sleep.
He pulled the cover out and laid on the mat. Sasuke felt cold, not physically, so he snuggled close to Menma. Close but leaving a space so he'd not hurt the small infant.
The raven softly kissed his cheek, then pulled out to gaze at the sleeping face. The warmness radiating from Menma, probably from his affection, warmed Sasuke's chest.
His mind wandered back to the job offer, to the creepy man. Charcoal eyes looked at the small risings of the his son's chest, the peacefully closed eyes that were seeing dreams.
Of everything he'd do to keep his son safe.
Long lashes touched pale skin. Sasuke fell into his own dream.
Somehow, he knew he was the fourteen-year-old who still had to go to school as a freshman tomorrow.
Sasuke was lying on the couch, watching some stupid show without his mind really focused. He could heard the loud shouting voice coming from the kitchen and the angry crashing sounds of broken plates and glasses. He wanted to go upstairs but something stopped him from doing so, and was about to switch the channel before a hand was placed on his hip which he was so used to. "Hey there."
Sasuke turned over at him. The man's face was blurred. "What's the matter?"
"Could you buy me some beers?"
"I can't. I'm not old enough." He said. "And why beers all of the sudden?" It was the second time in the week that he'd seen him drinking that much.
"I'm just not feeling very well. And go to that store I took you to last Tuesday. They don't care about ID."
That store... It was just... Wasn't in a very friendly area. "Okay... How many do you want?"
"Five... No, make it eight." Eight!?
He pulled Sasuke up at his widened expression, into his arms and kissed his cheeks. "I've just have a bad day, dear. I need it."
"I'll go and buy them for you." He said reluctantly. The man's hold on his body tightened, his hands wandered to the places that made Sasuke uncomfortable. "Thank you, babe. You're the best."
The hold tightened and tightened, his surroundings slowly went darker. Suddenly, Sasuke was pressed hard against the couch, rough hands moved to his neck and choked him. He thrashed, he clawed. He cried, he screamed. But the blurred messes of hands and eyes stared into him, gripping and chaining his body to this place. "S... Stop..." He hoarsely tried to voice out the words, tears sprung freely from his eyes out of utter frightening. "Shut up you fucking pig." The man said and choked him even harder. He screamed out for help. He tried to scream out for help. Somebody please help him. Somebody...
Sasuke's eyes snapped open. He panted harshly, sobbing as he touched his neck and still half-thrashing. Cries of baby immediately pulled him out of illusions.
The raven turned to his son, pale arms hurriedly reached out for him and held him to his chest. He tried to hush the baby but mostly, tried to use the warmness of the infant to calm himself down. Sasuke lifted his shirt to feed him his midnight meal, and using the free arm to wipe up his tears. The raven had woken up crying from a nightmare again and he hated it every time like that.
The pain vibrated in his abdomen again. It increased every time he fed his child, but Sasuke tried to endure it. He did not have anyway around when child needed to be fed.
Sasuke reached out for the pill bottles. He burped Menma, then cleaned and changed the infant's diaper. His mini self seemed to have fallen asleep again so the raven put him back to his mattress.
Today's night was another long night.